


Fists and Flowers

by Faeradam



Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: Adult Entertainment, Angst, Crossdressing, Gang Violence, Gangs, Homophobic Language, M/M, School, Smut, homophobic behaviour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:48:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 90,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22115917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Faeradam/pseuds/Faeradam
Summary: ~Then it was over.The succubus in disguise lept off the sofa to pick up his robe. He slipped it on, covering himself up and turned to Jinwoo with a giggle looking shy. Jinwoo couldn't even imagine what his face must look like right now. Thoroughly betrayed probably. He was throbbing in his underwear and it was all this devils fault.“Did you not like my dance this time?”A frustrated breath of air escaped through Jinwoos nostrils. “I'm hard. Aren't you going to do anything about it?”“I'm a dancer, nothing more. Plus, I gave you this dance for free remember. Be grateful.” He winked and blew Jinwoo a kiss before slipping out of the curtain.Jinwoo stared after him. “What an asshole...”~
Relationships: Kim Myungjun | MJ/Park Jinwoo | Jin Jin
Comments: 267
Kudos: 141





	1. My Flower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Cracks Knuckles, hands poised over the keyboard*  
> What fic should I write a new chapter for today?  
> Aredrinnor?  
> Sovaterra?  
> Dynasturm?  
> …  
> …  
> …  
> Lets write a new fic altogether!!🤪🤙🏻
> 
> I needed a break from writing fantasy my lovelies so enjoy...whatever this is~🙈

Everyone knew his name. Everyone feared him. Everyone respected him. Students and teachers alike. And Park Jinwoo liked that, loved that, _enjoyed_ that. At eighteen years old there was nothing he wanted more than power, and power he had. Lots of it. It came with the territory of being the leader of the schools most notorious gang.  
Mortem. The latin word for death. That was their name. It had been suggested by the smarter one of their bunch, whom everyone knew as Grey. Grey was surely a psuedo name but Jinwoo hadn't bothered asking for his real one. The stupidest suggestion had come from one of his thicker-skulled friends; Bin. He had more muscle than sense, so when he suggested the cringe worthy name of 'Top Dogs', Jinwoo had let it slide with nought more than a grimace.  
There hadn't been many notable suggestions after that so they'd stuck with Mortem. Jinwoo thought it suited them well and would instil the correct amount of fear in the hearts of those who crossed them.  
It was fun watching the students part in the corridors to let him through. He felt like that Moses guy in the bible or whoever it was that parted the sea. Jinwoo wasn't religious, the only god he believed in was himself. He deserved that title, it hadn't been an easy rise to power in the slightest, but it had definitely been worth it. 

A few of the perks; he always got the best seat in the cafeteria. No one dared sit at Mortems table in the centre of the room. They sat at the centre so they could be seen by everyone and so that they could _see_ everyone. Their obvious presence kept the lower ranking gangs in check and that pleased Jinwoo greatly.  
Another perk was the fact he never had to do any homework. Most of the teachers were too scared to assign him any, in fear of their cars being not so subtly vandalised like poor Mr Bang their headteacher, whose car wind shield was caved in mysteriously after he tried to give Jinwoo detention for beating up Myungjun again. Jinwoo had been suspended for a week for the vandalism but he never once lied.  
“I didn't do it.” He had said with an unbothered shrug of his shoulders. “But I'll take the suspension I guess.”  
The vandalism had, in fact, been Bins doing. His trusty crow bar had probably made an appearance too.  
Bin was grateful for him taking the suspension, as Jinwoo knew he would be. “Thanks Jin. You're the best leader Mortem could have had. You always look after your own.”  
Jinwoo soaked up the praise and brushed it off with a carefully constructed dismissive air. “I'm only doing what _good_ leaders do.”  
Jinwoo had only taken the suspension to better strengthen his image with his guys, nothing more and nothing less.  
But Bin didn't need to know that of course.

Another perk of becoming the leader of the schools strongest gang was the fact Jinwoo never really had to do much at all. If someone needed roughing up, to remind them who was boss, then Jinwoo just sent his lackeys after them.  
Unless it was Myungjun. Jinwoo always took the time to get his own hands dirty where Kim Myungjun was concerned.  
Kim Myungjun was undoubtedly a nerd. If the boxy glasses and timid behaviour didn't already scream it, then the fact that he was always top of the class and carried books upon books around in his arms, that were just _begging_ for Jinwoo to knock them out of Myungjuns weak grip, would.  
Jinwoo didn't have any particular dislike for nerds in general. He knew they were the smart ones who would become doctors and engineers and scientists, the ones who would keep the world going and all that crap. No, Jinwoo didn't dislike those who were smart because they were useful. He just disliked Myungjun. The sight of him was enough to irritate Jinwoo immensely.

The day Myungjun joined the school, halfway through their first year at 16 years old, Myungjun found himself the target of bullying. It hadn't been Jinwoo at first. It was another, lesser respected gang. They questioned him about his choice of uniform before throwing homophobic slurs at him.  
Myungjun was the only, literally _the only_ , boy in the entire school who opted to wear the soft sweater version of their uniform, rather than the much more masculine blazer.  
Jinwoo had actually wanted to step in for Myungjun at that time. He'd wanted to let that group of scumbags know that they couldn't go around bullying people when Jinwoo was in their presence. Their methods were sloppy and downright insulting to look at.  
But then Myungjun had done something so shocking, so infuriating, that Jinwoo had lost all ability to help the new kid out.  
“Yes, I'm gay. Yes, I prefer soft sweaters over blazers. Is that not allowed?” Myungjun had asked stiffly.  
Jinwoo hadn't even seen the kids face, still hadn't to this day as Myungjun kept the top half of it hidden under the shield of his overgrown fringe. But Jinwoo hadn't needed to see his expression and he hadn't needed to hear anything else. He'd flown at Myungjun in a rage and shoved him so violently against the wall that Myungjuns head had made a horrible meaty sound as it bounced off of the bricks and his books had fallen down to scatter at their feet.  
“Of course its not allowed!” Jinwoo had hissed angrily at him, his hands clutching the front of Myungjuns sweater.  
Jinwoo didn't remember much of what happened after that, but all he knew was that from then on, Myungjun became his new favourite punching bag. He'd never picked anyone to personally bully before and he was asked a lot of questions in the beginning, from Bin, Grey and the others, that he never bothered to answer. He didn't really need to. Jinwoo hung around with people who didn't accept those in the LGBTQ+ community, so he presumed they let the questions die down after the rumour of Myungjuns sexuality spread. Myungjun being gay was enough of a reason for him to get bullied. Those who were gay were social pariahs, so it really pissed Jinwoo off that Myungjun would admit it so openly. Crazy bastard.

~

One day, late at night, Jinwoo was walking through the rougher part of his home city when he noticed a new business called ‘The Camellia’ had opened up down a well hidden side street. He prided himself upon knowing the city inside and out, so it wasn't anything strange to find Jinwoo traversing the back alleys on his way from place to place.  
The Camellia had no windows, just one ornate door that was guarded by two suited men. One of them was completely bald and the neon flashing sign, stating the businesses name, alongside a singular flower, reflected off the shiny, bald surface. Jinwoo didn’t have any real reason to hurry home so he decided to investigate. He was only planning on approaching the men, and asking what sort of business it was, but as he got closer, they noticed his approach and the bald man stepped in front of him.  
“Do you have any ID?”  
The need to provide ID intrigued Jinwoo even further. He had to see what was inside. He was guessing some sort of nightclub and if so, he wanted to be the first to discover it, so that he could boast of his new discovery to Mortem.  
Jinwoo dug around in his pocket for his wallet and pulled out his provisional license. The man gave it a once over, and after deeming him of acceptable age, he stepped aside and opened the door for him.  
Jinwoo gave him a polite nod of thanks before stepping over the threshold.

His eyes widened a fraction as he looked around. This was clearly no ordinary business. The place was dimly lit with rouge coloured lights and the heavy, heady scent of flowers hung in the hazy air. Jinwoo could feel the soft music pulsing under his skin, pulling him deeper into the room and towards a sight he would never forget.  
He could tell the workers apart from the patrons immediately. The patrons were mainly middle aged men and women wearing expensive looking suits and making Jinwoo feel terribly out of place in his leather jacket, a size too small to flaunt his muscular arms better, and a pair of distressed jeans.  
But the workers...the people who worked in this provocative business were something else entirely.  
Men and woman alike led their patrons across the room, to the bar or to the curtain covered private booths. Their uniforms, if Jinwoo could even call them that, consisted of silks the colour of blood, scanty lingerie and jewels that sparkled every time they moved.

“Hello handsome. May I take your jacket?” A feminine voice purred in his ear making him jump out of his entrancement.  
He turned to look at who the voice belonged to, only to come face to face with the prettiest woman he had ever seen. Eyes as blue as the clearest ocean regarded him with a hint of amusement.  
Jinwoo realised he was staring and quickly closed his mouth and nodded. No sooner had she helped him out of his jacket, another woman approached him asking for his name. She was just as pretty as the last, if not more so, and Jinwoo was embarrassed when he stammered about needing a drink instead of answering her question.  
As she led him across the room towards the bar, without pointing out his mistake much to his relief, more and more of the workers approached him. A pair of breasts were pressed up against his arm, a hand belonging to a handsome man trailed down his chest, complimenting him on his physique and Jinwoo had more than one proposition of pleasure whispered into his ear. He politely declined them all but felt an immense boost to his ego when they left him looking genuinely disappointed. Jinwoo took pride in his appearance and physique as Mortems leader and compliments were the best fuel. He held his head a bit higher as he sat down on one of the plush bar stools.  
Jinwoo ordered his drink, handed over the money and looked around. His head felt funny. Maybe it was the haze in the air or the sense of euphoria that was slowly settling in. He watched man and woman alike dancing on various stages scattered around the room, some on poles Jinwoo had learnt to associate with strippers and others in cages.

One dancer in particular made Jinwoos sweep of the room come to a halt. The stage was empty of props and was located almost on the complete opposite side of the room from the bar. At first, Jinwoo couldn't even make out if the dancer was male or female. Their movements were light and fluid with a sensuality unlike anything Jinwoo had ever witnessed before. Jinwoo was up and walking across the room before he could stop himself. He had to get closer. He had to see clearer.  
Jinwoo stopped just behind the crowd that had gathered to watch too.  
Then the dancer turned.  
Now that Jinwoo was up close, and not looking through the haze, he could see the male clearly. Jinwoos eyes scanned his body from head to toe.  
Chocolate coloured hair was pulled back from the young mans face and pinned down with clips adorned with fresh flowers, creating the visage of a crown. He was pretty, shockingly so, and Jinwoo spent a long time just exploring his face. Long lashes and shapely brows framed a pair of dark eyes that Jinwoo was sure were capable of capturing the souls of those who dared look into them for too long. His nose and cheekbones were almost too perfect and his rosy lips, that parted slightly with every small inhale of air he took, conjured up thoughts of how those lips would feel against Jinwoos own.  
Jinwoo forced his eyes away and looked further down, down past his slim neck and shoulders, and stopping at his collarbones. They were prominent and made Jinwoo think that this dancer was actually rather delicate, with a need to be handled with care.  
Jinwoos mouth went dry when his brain finally managed to comprehend what the other male was actually wearing. It shouldn't have surprised him in a place like this, but the sight of the sheer black slip, embroidered with flowers and brushing the tops of his soft thighs, threw Jinwoos mind into complete disarray. It was lingerie crafted for women, but Jinwoo was sure that no woman on this planet could look better in it. It was cinched at the waist and left to flow freely below, adding more texture to his dancing.  
Jinwoo could see everything underneath it. A pair of pretty nipples, hardened from rubbing against the sheer material, poked through teasingly, begging for attention and when the dancer twirled, his dress fluttered up, revealing further his scantily clad hips. Jinwoo had big hands, but he was sure that even his hands wouldn't be big enough to grab all of the flesh of the dancers plump ass. The thought was driving Jinwoo insane and he downed the rest of his drink, needing something to quench his thirst.  
Although he was certain it wasn't the type of thirst that could be quenched with an overpriced alcoholic beverage.  
As soon as Jinwoos drink was finished, his glass was whisked away by one of the servers and replaced with another he never asked for. He drunk that too without much thought but politely declined the next one that was thrust upon him.

A commotion made Jinwoo turn back to the stage and he was disappointed to see that the dancer had finished. The onlooking crowd didn't seem too happy either but the male appeased them with a flirty smile as he accepted his blood red silk robe from the bodyguard by the stage that Jinwoo had managed to completely overlook. The body guard held out his hand to help him down and the dancer accepted it graciously before heading for the crowd, with the guard close behind. Jinwoo couldn't hear much over the excited noise of the onlookers as they vied for the dancers attention but he saw the clear lust and envy on the peoples faces.

Then suddenly Jinwoo was staring straight into the dark eyes that did the soul sucking or whatever fanciful description he'd concocted in his head before. He couldn't think much now, not with this ethereal being in front of him.  
“Are you here to tip me too?” He asked Jinwoo innocently, his voice higher in tone than Jinwoo had been expecting.  
“Uhhh...” Jinwoo pulled out his wallet and stuffed his last note into the already bulging note piles clutched by the dancers pretty hands.  
The dancer turned to his guard and handed the notes over. “Thank you Donghan that will be all. I will be taking this gentleman to one of the private booths and do not wish to be disturbed.”  
A small, almost unnoticeable crease formed between the guards brows. “Are you sure? You're just finishing up for the night, maybe you should head home.”  
The dancer giggled and spun to Jinwoos side before grabbing his hand and pressing his entire body up against him. “I'm sure. I'll make sure he pays me over time.”  
“I don't have any mor-” Jinwoo was cut off when a gentle hand was placed over his mouth.  
The guard sighed and rolled his eyes at the dancers sweet smile. “Fine. Come and find me when you're finished.”

The seduction began the second they were alone. Dark lashes fluttered in Jinwoos direction, a simple gesture, but enough to render Jinwoo completely brain dead again. He allowed himself to be pulled towards the nearest booth and the dancer wasted no time in shoving Jinwoo down onto one of the red leather sofas occupying the space and closing the thick curtains, cutting out the noise from the main floor almost completely.  
The dancer made no moves to turn back to face Jinwoo. He just let the silk robe that had covered him completely slip from his shoulders to rest in the crooks of his elbows.  
Jinwoo groaned quietly in response to the sight.  
_What am I even doing?_ He thought. _I haven't felt this way in a while. I'm not_ allowed _to feel this way about a guy._

A small giggle pulled him from his thoughts and he looked up to see the dancer eyeing him curiously, his posture alluring and frighteningly seductive.  
“You don't have to worry. I won't really make you pay overtime. I saw that you handed me the last of your money. It was so sweet I couldn't help myself.”  
His voice was even nicer now that Jinwoo could hear it properly. It was soft and smooth and something about it resonated deeply with Jinwoo.  
“Did you like my dancing?” His hips started moving again, dancing to the sensual music that was spilling out of a stylish speaker in the corner of the booth. It was baby making music. Jinwoo started to sweat.  
“I can dance for you again if you like.” The voice was hypnotic, stripping Jinwoos defences away layer by layer. The dancers pretty eyes sparkled. “But if I do, you have to follow my rules. You can look but you can't touch.” The silk robe dropped to the floor, fully revealing his lingerie again, but this time for Jinwoos eyes only.  
Jinwoo started to harden in his underwear as he looked him over. That was all it had taken to pull away the last of his carefully constructed defences, leaving him with nothing but primal desire.  
“Fuck get over here.” Jinwoo growled, reaching out to grab him. He needed to pull this man down onto his lap, mark his pretty collar bones and extract the soft sighs and moans he imagined him to make.  
The dancer made a noise of disapproval and sidestepped his hands. He turned away from Jinwoo gracefully again, always dancing, and gave Jinwoo a perfect view of his perfect ass. His slim arms rose above his head, hands twirling, hypnotising, until the hem of his already short dress started to hitch up further.  
He was being a tease and Jinwoo didn't like being teased. He liked getting what he wanted.  
Before Jinwoo could move to grab him however, the dancer crossed to the other side of the booth and climbed onto the other sofa, every line in his body perfectly shaped as if he practised the movements often. One arch of the dancers back made Jinwoo choke. The position he was in was lewd; face down, ass up, he stretched like a cat, a small whimper escaping his lips.

Then it was over.  
The succubus in disguise lept off the sofa to pick up his robe. He slipped it on, covering himself up and turned to Jinwoo with a giggle looking shy. Jinwoo couldn't even imagine what his face must look like right now. Thoroughly betrayed probably. He was throbbing in his underwear and it was all this devils fault.  
“Did you not like my dance this time?”  
A frustrated breath of air escaped through Jinwoos nostrils. “I'm hard. Aren't you going to do anything about it?”  
“I'm a dancer, nothing more. Plus, I gave you this dance for free remember. Be grateful.” He winked and blew Jinwoo a kiss before slipping out of the curtain.  
Jinwoo stared after him. “What an asshole...”

~

Jinwoo frequented The Camellia often over the following weeks. His excuse to go was always the same; he needed to reward himself for his hard days work of managing Mortem. He never boasted to anyone about his discovery of the adult club like he'd planned to. It was his guilty pleasure, his secret, and he didn't want anyone to take that away from him. The second anyone he knew stepped foot inside of that place, it would all be over for Jinwoo, he'd never be able to go back.  
People couldn't know that Park Jinwoo, Mortems terror-inducing leader, who bullied Myungjun frequently 'because he was gay', was, in fact, gay himself. It was unacceptable, a thought that chilled Jinwoo to the bone. He'd spent too long building his empire, too long suppressing his desire to bed another guy.  
The rational part of his brain told him that the easiest way to maintain his cover, was to stay away from The Camellia for good, to never go back, to forget all of the private dances he'd received since that day, the seductive looks, the flirty comments and jokes and the soft giggles that made Jinwoos stomach flip.  
But the irrational part told him that the risk was worth it. And besides, Jinwoo didn't think he could spend even one night away from his flower. 

The dancer had become his flower on the day Jinwoo asked for his name. Apparently it was against the clubs rules for its members to give out personal information so Jinwoo had been set the task of picking a nickname for him, at the dancers delighted request. Jinwoo couldn't deny him anything, even if he tried, and had blurted out the first thing that came to mind.  
“Flower.” He'd said, a little too loudly for the quietness of the booth. “Because you always wear flowers in your hair...and flower cuffs on your ears...and flowers on your lingerie.”  
The dancer had loved it, claiming it suited him perfectly, and requested to be called that from now on, and somewhere along the line Jinwoo had slipped the 'my' in there too. His flower seemed to like that even more, inflating Jinwoos ego even further.

So Jinwoos new routine from then on consisted of bullying Myungjun during the day if they crossed paths, appeasing his gang members bloodlust until dusk, and then hurrying away to spend an hour every night with the pretty guy who never failed to give Jinwoo his moneys worth.  
Jinwoo had never been so broke in his life but he'd never been happier either so he wasn't at all bothered if he had to walk the hour journey to and from school everyday, or eat less than decent meals. The radiant smile he received every time the beautiful dancer spotted him from across the room made up for it all.  
Jinwoo wasn't delusional enough to think that it wasn't all just fanservice. He knew that his flower flirted with other men and women when he wasn't around. All that mattered to Jinwoo was that he had the dancers attention whenever he _was_.

However, despite his best intentions to fence off the emotional stuff, over time his feelings of lust turned into something more akin to longing, completely and utterly out of his control.

~

Jinwoo never had to show his ID when approaching The Camellia any more. He was such a frequent customer that he knew the two body guards outside on a first name basis and they waved him through with polite greetings.

Jinwoo was in a particularly good mood today. He'd been given his allowance, watched three different teachers quake in fear as they tried to approach him with the latest bullshit homework he had zero intentions of doing, and he'd even been able to rough Myungjun up a little after the dork bumped into him as he had his nose too deep in his book to notice his surroundings.  
Okay so _maybe_ Jinwoo had seen him coming and stepped into his path, just so that he had a reason to get his fists bruised today, but those were only minor details.

So with a pep in his step, Jinwoo handed his jacket over to the woman by the door and allowed the familiar heady scent of The Camellia to wash over him. He noted that they were playing different music today, something almost sad, as he looked around for the one person who would help him finish his day off perfectly.  
“Mr Park.” A familiar voice purred into his ear.  
Jinwoo turned to see blue eyes as clear as the ocean watching him. He greeted the woman with a polite smile.  
“He's waiting for you in the booth over there.” She winked and left him.  
Jinwoos eyebrows raised slightly. This was new. His flower never started the evening off with a private dance, that was always saved for the end, but apparently he wanted to begin this way today.  
Hope ignited in Jinwoos chest. Maybe today was the day the dancer would finally allow him to touch him. Jinwoo had been kept firmly at arms length ever since the first day with the same rule repeated to him every time the dance would start.  
_You can look but you can't touch._

Jinwoo hurried over to the booth he'd been directed too, skin tingling with excitement as he slipped inside.  
“Jinwoo.” His flower always said his name with such reverence, making him feel even more like a god.  
Jinwoo blinked a few times feeling confused. “Why is it so dark in here?” He asked, his eyes struggling to see more than an arms length in front of himself.  
Suddenly a match was struck and a candle placed on the centre of the low rise coffee table was lit.  
Shadows were thrown across his flowers beautiful face and Jinwoo gasped in horror, rushing over to sit beside him on the red leather sofa.  
“What happened?” Jinwoo asked, his anger flaring immediately as his eyes took in the swollen cut on the bridge of the dancers perfect nose. Jinwoo reached out to cradle his face in his hands. The action of turning his face away from the flame threw light over more of the dancers damaged skin. A smattering of fresh bruises over his delicate collar bones stole Jinwoos breath.  
It wasn't anything new to see bruises on the dancer, he was covered in them all the time because he was constantly injuring himself during dance practice. But this...the cut to his face was too much. The bruises on his collar bones were knuckled shaped. Some scumbag had done this to his flower and he was going to make them pay.  
“Who did this to you?” Jinwoo demanded angrily. “One of your customers? Someone in your dance class? Tell me now.”  
Jinwoo was even more horrified when he saw the tears welling up in his flowers eyes. He'd never seen him look so sad. He'd never seen him cry before and in that moment Jinwoo decided he hated no sight more.  
Jinwoo gathered his flower up in his arms, being as gentle as he possibly could as he didn't know the true extent of his injuries yet and let him cry. The sobs were broken and pitiful and made Jinwoos heart clench so painfully in his chest he was sure he might actually die.  
“Please tell me who did this, which scumbag lay his hands on you.” Jinwoo whispered desperately.  
The dancer shook his head against Jinwoos shoulder, his sobs increasing in volume.  
“Please!” Jinwoo begged again. “I can handle it for you. I'll make sure he never hurts you again I promise.”  
Another shake of the head.  
“Let me protect you. Let me keep you safe. Let me-”

The dancer suddenly pulled away from him. In the candle light Jinwoo could see the raw pain in his eyes.  
“It was you.” He whimpered, wrapping his arms around himself, creating a thin wall of defence between them. “Jinwoo it was you.”  
Jinwoo frowned. “What? Of course it wasn't me. I'd never hurt you!”  
He reached out in the hope of comforting the other but his flower flinched and backed away across the sofa.  
“I thought I could do this.” He choked out. “I thought I could carry on living this way but I can't. Jinwoo its me. Its Myungjun. Kim Myungjun.”  
Before Jinwoo could even _begin_ to process what he'd just been told, the dancer fled, the disturbed air from his fluttering blood red robe extinguishing the light of the candle and leaving Jinwoo alone in the dark.

~

 _Jinwoo its me. Its Myungjun. Kim Myungjun._  
Those words tortured Jinwoo the entire weekend. He didn't have school, and he didn't know where Myungjun lived, so he had no way of confronting him to find out the truth.  
It was too absurd, and Jinwoo spent the weekend convincing himself that it wasn't, and irrevocably could not be, the truth.  
His flower and his punching bag couldn’t be the same person. Myungjun wore glasses and was timid and shied away from people. But his flower was confident and sexy and was never seen with frames on his face.  
So either the dancer had lied, or the universe was playing the worlds shittiest joke on him. Both were equally upsetting outcomes.

So it was with mild trepidation that Jinwoo returned to school on Monday. He couldn't concentrate at all on what Grey was telling him at their lockers, he was too busy observing Myungjun from across the room.  
The nerd was reading his textbook again, his eyes completely shielded from view with his wall of hair...his chocolate coloured hair.  
Jinwoo swallowed down the nausea. That meant nothing. Plenty of people had brown hair. He scoffed at his stupidity, slammed his locker shut and left Grey behind in the dust as he made his way outside.  
He spent the rest of the day observing Myungjun whenever he came into view. Every little new detail he noticed about the boy, that had any similarity with his flower, he wrote off. And anyway, Myungjun was still behaving just as weak and as scared as ever.  
_It can't be true. It can't be true. It can't be true._  
But then come the afternoon, walking to his last lesson, Jinwoo spotted Myungjun standing by himself, his hands clutching the latest homework that looked, unsurprisingly, completed. His hands...his pretty hands.

Jinwoo snapped. He headed towards him, with an undeniable sense of dread coiling uncomfortably in the pit of his stomach, and when he reached him, for the first time since he'd met Myungjun the nerd, he lifted the hair out of Myungjuns eyes to get a good look at his face.  
“Am I still your flower now?” The dancer asked him quietly.  
Jinwoo was frozen, looking over every inch of the face he'd spent weeks falling deeper and deeper in love with.  
The eyes behind the glasses were dark, framed by long lashes and shapely brows. His perfect nose was marred by the cut on its bridge that stood out shockingly now, screaming at Jinwoo; _You did this. You hurt him. You damaged his face_.  
The lips Jinwoo used to dream of kissing were bitten raw now and Myungjun wasn't helping their condition as he started to worry his bottom lip between his teeth nervously again as Jinwoo stared at him.  
The universe had really just played the shittiest joke possible on Jinwoo. He'd been tricked, conned for months, the betrayal was ripe and pierced straight through his chest.

“Boss?”  
Jinwoo spun around at the sound of the voice. He was one of Mortems members, Byungchul, and he was looking down at Jinwoo with a frown.  
“What are you doing here with that fag?” Byungchul asked, not hiding the venom in his voice.  
Jinwoo stepped away from Myungjun, the familiar and potent sense of fear, the fear of his sexuality being revealed, bubbling back up inside of him, alongside the keen sense of betrayal, humiliation and pure hot shame about what he had done, and what he was about to do.  
He was Park Jinwoo, Mortems terror-inducing leader, and Myungjuns personal bully. Nothing less and nothing more.  
Jinwoo put the mask back on, forced his feelings away, and sneered. “Just felt like seeing what was under that ridiculous fringe of his. I definitely regret it.”  
_That's not a lie_ , Jinwoo thought angrily to himself as Byungchul laughed.  
“That ugly huh? Remind me never to look.”  
Jinwoo turned back to look at Myungjun. It made him sick. And when Jinwoo felt bad, he lashed out.  
Myungjuns books clattered noisily to the floor as Jinwoo knocked them out of his hands. Myungjun didn't move, he just continued to chew on his stupid pouty lips.  
His utter submission didn't make Jinwoo feel any happier.  
_He deserves this. This and more. He led me on for months and made me fall in love with a lie. His flowery persona was fake. Fake. Fake. Fake._  
Jinwoo made a sound of frustration deep in his throat before shoving Myungjun aside and walking away.

~

Jinwoo avoided The Camellia completely after that. It wasn't easy. Usually when it reached ten at night Jinwoo would be leaving the house and making his way to the erotic establishment but now, ten o'clock became a curse. It was a reminder of everything that had happened; the love, lust and euphoria, followed by the pain, betrayal and shame.  
Jinwoo now spent the nights solely with Mortem, binge drinking and smoking all of his problems away. They were ecstatic to have their leader there of course but Jinwoo felt nothing but a hollow emptiness.

Despite his determination to stay away however, Jinwoo found himself standing alone at the end of the familiar street on the fifth night after finding out about Myungjuns true identity.  
On the sixth night, Jinwoo stumbled down the narrow street until the red neon sign came into view. The flower blinked at him, taunting, filling his mind with images of flower crowns, jewels and lingerie. Jinwoo turned and ran.  
On the seventh night Jinwoo felt as if he were losing his mind. He couldn't do this any more. He couldn't avoid the way he felt. The Camellia was his drug and going sober was agonising. Too agonising.  
His friends were beginning to notice his sour mood and he knew it wouldn't be long before he lost it completely.  
He had to do _something_.

~

The guards greeted him politely as they opened the ornately carved door, revealing Jinwoos guilty pleasure in all of its glory. The scents, sounds and sights welcomed him back like a lost child finding his way back home and every tense muscle in Jinwoos body sagged with relief as he stepped inside.  
He handed over his jacket and laughed brightly when he was swarmed by the other workers who claimed to have missed him dearly and who were all asking where he had gone.  
Jinwoo lapped up the attention, using his smooth talking to avoid telling the miserable truth and instead apologised for being absent. Part of him, a big part, meant those apologies with genuine sincerity.  
After a couple of drinks Jinwoo worked up the courage to look around for Myungjun. He didn't get far across the room before a heavy hand landed on his shoulder and he looked around to see Myungjuns personal bodyguard.  
All of the workers at The Camellia had their own personal security but Myungjuns was by far the most impressive. He towered over everyone in the room and he looked strong enough to break a mans skull with his hands.  
_If only Myungjun had had that sort of security at school,_ Jinwoo thought bitterly, _then none of this would have happened._  
“He's not here.” The bodyguard spoke up over the music. “Hasn't been for the past week and we don't know when he'll be back.”  
Jinwoo was annoyed with himself when he left feeling an obvious disappointment.

~

Jinwoo was lounging on the battered sofa in Mortems base of operations, located in an abandoned room inside the schools gymnasium, with a cigarette hanging out of the corner of his lips. He was watching Bin teach the leader of one of the lower ranking gangs a lesson. The kid had gotten cocky and Jinwoo was in no mood to play nice, so he'd ordered Bin to drag the little bastard here where he could watch him get beaten until he apologised to Jinwoo on his hands and knees.  
Jinwoo took a drag on the cigarette and flicked the ash away when too much had collected. Hearing the heavy sounds of skin on skin, and the grunts and moans of pain were almost soothing to Jinwoo at this point.  
“Ready to apologise?” Bin asked, kicking the boy over.  
“I already said sorry!” The answer he received came from a voice thick and nasally. Jinwoo wasn't surprised. He was sure Bin had broken the kids nose.  
“The boss wants you on your hands and knees grovelling like a little bitch. So get to it.” Bin gave him another kick in the ribs for good measure, earning himself another grunt of pain which seemed to please him.  
“JINWOO!”  
Jinwoo looked over to the doors to see Byungchul doubled over taking giant gasps of air like he'd just run all the way here.  
“We have company.” Jinwoo warned him lowly, stubbing his cigarette out. “What is it?”  
Byungchul looked at the bloodied boy on the floor for a second before ignoring him completely and rushing over to Jinwoo looking unsettlingly excited.  
“So you know the girls are holding a protest about their skirts being banned from the official uniform?”  
Jinwoo sighed, leaning back on the sofa and closing his eyes. “Chul if you're about to go full perv on me again I will personally beat your ass next.”  
“I'm not! Its Myungjun. He joined the protest and guess what?”  
Jinwoos interest had peaked immediately at the sound of Myungjuns name but he kept his eyes closed and used every shred of determination he had left to stay calm on the surface.  
“What about him?” Jinwoo asked through gritted teeth.  
Byungchuls voice came out in a strange, strained rush of air. “He's wearing a skirt! A _skirt_! Can you believe it? He's preaching to the teachers about female rights or whatever and- Jinwoo?”  
Jinwoo was up and out of the room before he knew what he was doing.  
Myungjun in a skirt? All Jinwoo could think about was his soft thighs being on display for everyone to see, the thighs that had danced for Jinwoo and Jinwoo alone for weeks, and the rage made Jinwoo shake.  
How dare Myungjun do this to Jinwoo. Jinwoo had been visiting The Camellia every night for the past fortnight waiting for Myungjun to return to work, and every night Jinwoo had had to leave disappointed.  
Myungjun had denied Jinwoo the sight of his body for the longest time and now he was just showing it off at school? It was unacceptable.  
All sense of reason inside of Jinwoo had dissolved. Deep down he knew he had no right to be acting this way but with his emotions in charge all he could think was; _He's mine. My secret. I don't want anyone else to see him like that._

It didn't take long for Jinwoo to find the protesters. They'd been protesting in the same spot, just outside the school gates, for the past couple of days.  
Jinwoos eyes roamed the girls, ignoring their embarrassed giggles and flirty comments as they noticed him nearby. He was used to ignoring and tuning out the interest he received from the female students by now. He only entertained their fantasies when he felt like his image needed a boost.  
“Where the fuck is Myungjun?” Jinwoo muttered under his breath as his eyes scanned the crowd. Myungjun was no where to be seen. If this had all been an elaborate joke then Byungchul was dead.  
A haughty looking girl approached Jinwoo with a scowl. “I know why you're here. You heard about Myungjun and you're coming to bully him again aren't you? Well we won't let you. He's doing a good thing for us and-”  
“Just tell me where the fuck he is before I knock your pretty little head off your shoulders.” Jinwoo growled. He groaned inside. He didn't often make it a habit to threaten girls, he wasn't a complete asshole, but he was so wound up it had automatically slipped out.  
Her eyes widened and filled with fear. “U..um...he saw Byungchul and ran that way when he left.” She stammered, pointing in the direction of the boys toilets.  
Jinwoo left without bothering to apologise and a minute later shoulder barged his way through the toilet door.  
Myungjun was pressed up against one of the walls, whimpering in fear, with a group of guys surrounding him. Even from behind them Jinwoo could tell they were leering at him.  
One reached out and grabbed the front of Myungjuns skirt, yanking it up and revealing a sight that made Jinwoos brain short circuit.  
“You really are a slut aren't you?” The guy scoffed. “I swear I've seen my girlfriend in those panties before. Are you some sort of pervert?”  
Myungjun whimpered pathetically again, trying to yank the skirt back down and cowering away from the cruel laughter that echoed around the room.  
Jinwoo finally snapped out of it. “I think you're the fucking pervert for trying to sneak a peek at a dudes underwear when you have a girlfriend.”  
The guy let go, looked over his shoulder and cursed loudly. “Shit its Jinwoo.”

Thirty seconds later and the toilets were empty. The exceptions being Myungjun who was still shaking against the wall and Jinwoo who was inspecting his split knuckles with a frown. Usually he was better at keeping his strength under control but those guys really deserved a rough beating and he wasn't at all regretting it.  
Ignoring the blood dripping down his fingers, Jinwoo approached the frightened figure and stopped a foot away from him.  
It was quiet. Only Myungjuns ragged breathing could be heard until he broke the silence.  
“Th-thank you.” Myungjun stammered weakly. “I didn't s-see them when I came in. I just wanted to hide from B-Byungchul.” He was shaking terribly as he tried to bend down to pick up his stuff.  
Jinwoo could see he wasn't going to be standing for much longer so he just sighed and stepped forwards to grab and steady him.  
“Don't. You look like you're going to pass out. I'll get your stuff, just go sit down on one of the toilets or something.”  
Myungjun wobbled over to one of the toilet stalls without protest as Jinwoo collected his scattered belongings. He cursed quietly when he saw that the screen of Myungjuns phone had been shattered. Maybe he should have beat those guys twice after all.  
Myungjun thanked him quietly again when Jinwoo handed everything over. Jinwoo was trying to ignore the fact that they were in a toilet stall together, a ridiculously tight space that forced him to feel the heat that Myungjuns body radiated. He had to distract himself somehow so he went with the obvious;  
“Why the fuck are you wearing a skirt to school? Surely you must have known the backlash you'd get.”  
Myungjun fiddled with the hem of it as he answered. “I wanted to help the girls. Its wrong what's happening to them, all because of that idiot saying their legs were distracting him from his work. I of all people know the importance of feeling comfortable in your own skin, wearing what you want, when you want.”  
Jinwoo didn't know whether Myungjun was referring to the soft fluffy sweater he wore to school, instead of the blazer, or his lingerie. He guessed it didn't really matter.  
“I knew I'd get some back lash.” Myungjun continued quietly, never looking up from his lap. “Everyone here is homophobic. I just guessed I'd get name called again, and at worse a few hits here and there but I didn't-” Myungjuns voice cracked with his despair. “I didn't expect anyone to actually look under my skirt.” Myungjun started to cry, burying his face in his hands.  
Jinwoo grimaced at the noise and the way it made his chest feel, and pulled a few tissues from the toilet roll before holding them out under Myungjuns nose.  
“Here.” He said gruffly. “And don't thank me again.”  
Myungjun took them and looked up at him from his seated position on the toilet. His long fringe was parted slightly, allowing Jinwoo to see a glistening eye behind his glasses.  
“Why are you being nice to me?” Myungjun asked quietly. “You're never nice to me in school.”  
To answer that question would require Jinwoo opening up in a way he really didn't want to. So he countered with a question of his own.  
“Why are you wearing...those under your skirt?”  
Myungjun quickly looked back down again. “The red silk reminds me of my robe at work, and the flowers too, so I wanted to wear them to remind myself of who I am outside of here. I thought it would help me be confident and strong but I guess it didn't really work out that way.”

Jinwoo wanted to reply but movement from the corridor outside of the toilets made him freeze. He quickly slammed the door to their stall shut and locked it. Myungjun sprung up startled.  
“Jinwoo wha-”  
Jinwoo yanked Myungjun forwards and clamped a hand over his mouth as the door to the toilets burst open. Myungjuns breath was hot and moist against Jinwoos palm.  
“Shhh.” Jinwoo whispered quietly. Myungjun gave him a small nod and Jinwoo removed his hand.  
“Boss? You in here?”  
Jinwoo closed his eyes tight in irritation. Why did Grey have to turn up now?  
They stayed quiet and a few seconds later the door closed, leaving them alone again.  
Jinwoo sighed in relief before opening his eyes. Myungjun had swept his fringe from his face, giving Jinwoo full view of the gaze behind his glasses. And it was only then that Jinwoo realised exactly the position they were in.  
Myungjuns body was pressed entirely up against his own from Jinwoo yanking him forwards and their faces were only inches apart. Unconsciously, Jinwoos arm had found its way around Myungjuns waist and his palm was pressed up against the small of Myungjuns back. Jinwoo could feel the material of his skirt under his fingers. Myungjun felt small and soft in his arms. The scent of flowers was overwhelming.  
Jinwoos heart began to stutter and beat irregularly in his chest. He looked down at Myungjuns slightly parted lips. Lips made for kissing. Jinwoo started to move.  
“Can you let me go now?” Myungjun asked him quietly.  
Jinwoos less than innocent thoughts came to a grinding halt and he quickly unhanded him and unlocked the toilet door before stumbling out. He steadied himself against one of the dirty sinks, his head spinning from what he'd nearly done. He'd nearly kissed him. He'd nearly kissed _Myungjun_.  
Myungjun cleared his throat behind him. “Donghan told me you've been looking for me at work.”  
Jinwoo didn't bother denying it.  
Myungjun headed for the door and paused. “I'm back at work tonight.”  
Myungjun left. It hadn't exactly been an invitation to go to The Camellia to see him, but Jinwoo knew he'd probably be accepting it anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jinwoo is an asshole.  
> Myungjun is a delicate pretty bub living that good ol' double life, getting good grades during the day and good monAY during the night. 
> 
> I've always wanted to write Jinwoo as a villain  
> I've always wanted to write Myungjun in lingerie  
> I've always wanted to write something set in the real world  
> Look at me living the high life yeeee😎


	2. Flowers and Fists.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Myungjuns POV of a few of the scenes (+new scenes) that happened in chapter 1!

“Your hair is getting long again. Maybe you should let me give it a quick trim.” The woman's fingers fluttered fussily over his fringe, trying to push the long strands off of his glasses.  
She did this at least once a week.  
Myungjun sighed and ducked out of her reach before heading for the front door, hiking his backpack further up his shoulders.  
“Mama I've told you before, I like my hair this way. I'm going now so I'll see you later!” He called before escaping from the house and stepping out into the warm sun.

Today was Myungjuns first day at his new school. His parents had uprooted his life and moved him across the country to the big city.  
Did he like the change of scenery? Not particularly.  
Too many people lived here. The streets were always bustling with bodies and cars that rushed around too fast, always running to or from something like their lives depended on it.  
With a stature on the smaller, slimmer side, Myungjun was always being knocked around. Either the people didn't see him, or they just didn't care, too absorbed in their own lives to bother worrying about the scrawny sixteen year old they were barging past on their way to work or other engagements.  
Myungjun could do nought more than catch his footing time and time again and sigh frustratedly every time he was pushed aside on his way through the crowded streets.  
The people here never looked happy either, and the laughter and excited chatter that stimulated Myungjuns eardrums all sounded too forced, too fake, as if the cities occupants were trying too hard to enjoy themselves in an attempt to prove to those around them that their lives didn't hold the same boring monotony as every other poor soul journeying to and fro.  
Myungjun didn't care for the forced or the fake. He'd learnt to accept that he'd left all of the real people behind in his old life and he had no intentions, out on the streets or inside his new school, to make any friends or get involved in any unnecessary drama.  
He only had one goal in mind. He wanted to graduate school with the best grades he could possibly obtain, whilst he worked on his _real_ passion outside of his studying time.

Myungjun had been dancing for as long as he could possibly remember.  
His parents would tell him that his obsession with moving his body began the very day he was born. He was always wriggling around, whether he was happy or sad, hungry or tired, his body didn't know how to stay still.  
His parents had tried to get Myungjun into sports when he was young, thinking that the vigorous exercise would be enough to wear down his seemingly limitless amounts of energy, but after a particularly traumatic event, involving a ball and a broken wrist, Myungjun decided he didn't like sports very much at all and kicked and screamed until his parents took him out of the club.  
They spent many months after that looking for other things Myungjun could do to combat his youthful energy and stumbled across an advertisement in the local newspaper for a new dance studio opening up in their little town.  
His parents had approached him somewhat apprehensively, asking if he'd like to give it a try, and little Myungjun, who was always eager to try new things, agreed without a second thought.  
By the time his first lesson had come to an end, Myungjun was in love. He had always enjoyed dancing around the house to the music his parents liked to listen to, but being taught how to move his body properly was something else entirely. He had found his passion and he hadn't looked back since.  
He tried all genres of dance; hip hop, jazz, street and modern to name a few, but to everyone's surprise, Myungjun enjoyed the more contemporary styles the most.  
His parents accepted his choices and became his two pillars of support who took him to every dance lesson, attended all of his recitals and small time competitions and cried whenever Myungjun won any type of reward that they proudly added to his rapidly growing collection.  
Myungjun made a lot of friends during this time and, for all intents and purposes, lived a perfect life.

But then his father had been offered a new job in a far away city that he couldn't refuse and Myungjun had been taken away from his perfect life and plonked down in a new, less enjoyable one.  
He held no bad feelings towards his parents for their decision to move however. They'd consulted him immediately when his father first received the offer, explaining to him exactly why they needed to do this, and Myungjun, who had always received endless amounts of support from the both of them, decided it was time he did something for them in return.  
So he accepted the move with an open mind and off they went.

His parents made sure to move them to an area of the city that would still allow Myungjun to pursue his dreams of becoming a professional dancer, which he was extremely grateful for, and he was excited to begin his new lessons.

However, he needed to get through his first day of school first.  
Myungjun stopped outside of the schools open gates, a little after half an hour since he'd left home, and the first thing he noticed immediately, when looking around at the hundreds of students filing into the big, plain building, was how he was the only male student who'd chosen the soft sweater version of the uniform, over the more uncomfortable blazer. He felt more comfortable in softer clothing, and he'd always found blazers too formal and stiff, restricting his bodies need to move freely.  
A bad feeling began to settle in the pit of his stomach as he walked towards the main doors. People were stopping to stare at him, some with wrinkled noses of distaste and others with wide eyes full of something almost fearful.  
Myungjun shook his fringe out, until it hung over his glasses again, creating a barrier between himself and the rest. He ducked his head down and clutching his backpack straps more tightly, he hurried inside.  
After collecting his new timetable and a map of the school, he made his way to his first class.  
It went well. Myungjun was able to tune out most of the mutterings around him and concentrated hard on what the teacher was saying. He wrote two pages of notes before rummaging around in his pencil case for some highlighters.  
After highlighting the main points he took some time doodling little flowers and hearts in the margins to make his notes more pleasing to look at. He found he studied better from pretty notes.  
A snigger made him look up.  
A stocky boy with a pig-like face was watching him.  
“Can I help you?” Myungjun asked politely, trying not to judge the snigger too quickly.  
The boy didn't say anything in return so Myungjun went back to his work.

The rest of the morning went by smoothly but when the time came for lunch everything went downhill.  
Myungjun was following the map in his hands to find the cafeteria, busy thinking about what food they would serve, when he bumped straight into something solid.  
“Hey nerd, watch where you're going.”  
Myungjun reflexively tensed and looked up through his fringe to see the pig-like boy from before. He was flanked on either side by two other boys; one lanky and covered in acne, the other short and sly looking.  
Myungjun mumbled an apology and tried to go around them. He was pushed back.  
He wasn't stupid, he knew what this was. These were clearly the schools bullies and he, as the new kid, was their new target. Myungjun also knew that he couldn't do anything about it. He wasn't strong and he didn't know how to fight. All he could do was brace himself for what was to come.  
“Why are you wearing that ugly sweater?” The pig asked before spitting a homophobic slur at him.  
Myungjun rocked back on his heels, the word feeling like a punch in the gut. Never in his life had his sexuality been insulted before. 

His parents were the first to realise that Myungjun wasn't at all interested in girls, and when they'd asked him about it one night over dinner, Myungjuns reply had been one that made his parents laugh.  
“Girls are icky.” Little Myungjun had pouted, stabbing at his food. He grinned at the response he received. “I like Levi better. He's handsome.”  
Levi had been Myungjuns bestest friend. They had met at Myungjuns Thursday evening modern dance class and had become friends almost instantaneously.  
Whilst trying to execute one of the harder moves taught that day, Levi had accidentally kicked Myungjun straight in the shin. Myungjun had promptly burst into tears, and Levi had quickly followed suit out of sheer guilt. Their parents had found them at the end of the class, sitting on the floor in the corner of the room, leaning against each other whilst holding hands as they slept on unaware. It was safe to say they'd been inseparable after that.  
Myungjuns preference for the male gender didn't go unnoticed by those outside of his close friends and family either. Over time, everyone who lived in their little town learned the truth of his sexuality, and although there were some people who didn't accept it as openly as his parents did, they never once insulted him.

But apparently in this city, in this school at the very least, Myungjun was going to be treated a lot differently.  
The idea made him nauseous.  
But it also made him angry. Why should he be treated any differently? It wasn't wrong for him to like boys. And he wasn't hurting anybody by feeling this way. So why should he have to put up with such insults?  
_I won't let his words, or the words of anyone else in this horrible place, affect me. I won't let their bullying make me feel ashamed. And I won't ever pretend to be someone I'm not. This city doesn't need any more fakes._  
With that newfound determination, Myungjun pulled his shoulders back, standing at his full height.  
“Yes, I'm gay. Yes, I prefer soft sweaters over blazers. Is that not allowed?” He asked stiffly, daring them to say it wasn't.  
The pigs eyes widened in disbelief. “You little-”  
Out of nowhere another boy appeared, pushing the pig aside and slamming Myungjun up against the wall. The pain was sharp in Myungjuns head as it slammed back against the bricks and the motion made him drop the notebooks he was holding in his hands.  
Stars burst in his vision and a dull ringing began in his ears.  
“Of course its not allowed!” A new voice hissed inches from his face.  
Myungjun blinked a few times trying to right his disorientation.  
“Do you have a fucking death wish?” The boy continued to ask in disbelief.  
Myungjuns eyes finally focused on the face in front of him.  
The boy was undeniably handsome, around the same height as Myungjun himself, and ridiculously strong. The arms that pinned Myungjun against the wall were unforgiving. But something in his eyes made Myungjun pause.  
This boy looked terrified.  
It made no sense. _He_ was the one pinning Myungjun to the wall, not the other way around.  
And what confused Myungjun even more, were the fearful looks the boy was receiving from those watching the exchange.  
“Who are you?” Myungjun asked him quietly. “What are you so afraid of? And why is everyone afraid of you?”  
The mouth in front of him opened and closed. No sound came out. The terror in those brown eyes made way for confusion, suspicion and finally something unreadable. The grip on the front of Myungjuns sweater disappeared, leaving the soft material crumpled.  
Then the handsome boy was walking away, the students parting quickly to let him through.  
When Myungjun looked around a few seconds later, he saw that the pig and his friends had disappeared.

“How was school Jun? Did you have a good first day?”  
Myungjun smiled up at his father from his seat on his new bed and nodded. “School was good. I made lots of friends.”  
His father, who had been hovering nervously in the doorway to Myungjuns new bedroom as he asked his questions, sighed in poorly disguised relief.  
“That's good buddy. Me and your mother were worried it would be hard for you to fit in and adjust, especially halfway through the school year, but she'll be relieved to know it went well.”  
Myungjun covered up the immense guilt he felt for lying to his father with another forced smile. He didn't want to upset his parents with the truth. His first day had been undeniably terrible. First with the insults, then being slammed against a wall, and then having to watch as everyone avoided him like he had a terribly contagious disease. No-one wanted to associate themselves with the new kid. Especially not the new kid who was a gay nerd.  
Myungjuns insides burned as he thought about it.  
“...Jun?”  
Myungjun looked up quickly from his hands, not realising his father was still speaking to him. “Yes?”  
“I asked if you wanted me to drive you to your new dance class today?” His father asked again, his eyes narrowing. “Are you okay? You look pale. You're not getting sick are you? You know you can't afford to miss any more days of school.”  
“I'm fine. I'm not getting sick.” Myungjun rushed to reassure him. “And I'd appreciate a lift. I'll be down in ten.”  
His father studied him for a few more seconds before deeming him healthy enough and left, closing Myungjuns bedroom door behind himself.  
Myungjun sighed and flopped back against his pillows. His head throbbed at the impact and he winced, reaching behind it for the lump that had formed there from his head hitting the wall a few hours earlier. He'd been worried that the lump would be noticeable, and that his parents would have seen and asked a million questions, but luckily his hair covered it up.  
He'd already taken some painkillers after seeing the school nurse about it but the pain seemed to be slowly returning now.  
He didn't have time to worry about it though. He only had ten minutes to get ready for his first dance class in the big city.  
Dancing always helped to clear his mind and he was naturally excited to see how these classes would compare to his old ones.  
With fresh enthusiasm Myungjun rose out of bed to get changed into his preferred attire to move his body in; a pair of black cotton dance shorts and an oversized white tee.  
Usually he pulled all of the hair out of his face and tied it up at the top of his head with a hairband in a neat tiny topknot, but today he opted for a slim black plastic headband to sweep the hair back from his eyes instead.  
The door to his bedroom opened and a head of short, curly, chocolate coloured hair peeked in.  
“Oh good you're dressed.” His mother said. “Your fathers waiting in the car. Remember to put your contacts in. I don't want you breaking your glasses again.”  
Myungjun grimaced at the memory and rushed past her towards the bathroom to find his lenses.

“Ready to go?” His father asked a few minutes later as Myungjun slipped into the passenger seat, slamming the car door behind himself. He tucked his small duffel bag containing a fresh pair of clothes, a towel, a bottle of water, a protein bar and his glasses case, down by his feet before putting his seatbelt on.  
“Yes sir.” He mock saluted, earning himself a smile, and looked over at the GPS. “The studio is only fifteen minutes away? Maybe next time I'll just walk it.”  
“I don't mind driving you. Its always been our little routine.” His father replied happily. “What CD do you want me to put in this time? No. Wait. Let me guess. Tchaikovsky, but you want me to skip straight to swan lake; the waltz in B major?”  
Myungjun giggled. “Its A major actually.”  
The car purred to life and pulled out of the drive. “Of course it is. I was just testing you.”  
Myungjun rolled his eyes fondly at his fathers antics and relaxed as the music washed over him.

A hand nudged Myungjun out of his dozing state. “We're here buddy.”  
Myungjun stretched with a groan and looked out of the windshield to see his new dance studio. It was huge, at least three times the size of his old one and his eyes widened slightly.  
“Are you tired? We can always come back another time. It was your first day of school after all, I'm sure they won't mind.”  
Myungjun quickly shook his head, grabbed his duffel and leaned over to plant a quick kiss onto his fathers stubbly cheek before popping open the car door. “No I'm wide awake. Thank you for the lift.”  
“Do you want me to come in with you?” His father called after him as Myungjun scrambled out of the car. “You might need help finding your way!”  
Myungjun laughed. His father was such a worrier and was always trying to baby him.  
“No old man I can find my own way.” Myungjun teased before closing the car door and rushing away towards the studios main doors. He looked back over his shoulder and waved.  
His father waved back with a fond shake of his head and waited for Myungjun to get inside before driving away.  
Myungjun pushed open the doors and approached the front desk where a kind looking woman was sitting, typing rapidly on the keyboard in front of her.  
She looked up when Myungjun stopped in front of the desk and smiled.  
“Hello sweetheart, how can I help you?” She asked, a slight accent to her voice that Myungjun had come to associate with those who lived in this city.  
“I'm here for Mr Heo's class. Its my first day.” Myungjun explained, returning the smile.  
“Your name?”  
“Kim Myungjun.”  
She began to type on her computer again, muttering his name under her breath. “Oh yes. I'll sign you in.” She looked up at him before her eyes shifted to something over his shoulder. “Ah Minhyuk. Good timing. Can you take Mr Kim down to class with you?”  
Myungjun turned to see another boy with fluffy hair the colour of darkened ash and a tightly muscled dancers body. He grinned at Myungjun with all his teeth and held out his hand for him to shake.  
“I was told there was a new kid joining our class today. Nice to meet you, I'm Park Minhyuk.”  
Myungjun took his hand. “Kim Myungjun. Nice to meet you too.”  
After Minhyuk was signed in, they made their way down the well-lit white corridors that led them deeper into the building. Myungjun tried to focus on the route there but it was hard with Minhyuk chattering in his ear about how much Myungjun was going to love it here and how excited Minhyuk was to have a new classmate.  
“You're pretty.” Minhyuk observed thoughtfully after watching Myungjun laugh at one of his jokes.  
Myungjun blushed and quickly looked away.  
“Not used to compliments?” Minhyuk asked, nudging Myungjun in the ribs with another toothy grin.  
Myungjun laughed despite his embarrassment. “Not really. I usually keep my face covered by my hair so people never really comment on my looks.”  
“Why?” Minhyuk sounded genuinely confused. “If I had a face like yours I'd show it off at every opportunity I could get.”  
Myungjun shrugged. “I've just always been this way. I only ever really show my face when I'm dancing and even then, that's only because I like to see exactly what I'm doing.”  
Minhyuk looked like he was questioning Myungjuns sanity.  
“Our class is just up here, through those double doors.”  
The doors were already open and the sound of music, soft and slow, met Myungjuns ears. It soothed his nerves as they walked into the room.  
The room itself was large, all of the walls covered in mirrors with a bright white ceiling covered in lights and a wooden flooring that was so clean it shined.  
And standing in the middle of the room, watching them approach, was the scariest looking man Myungjun had ever seen.  
He was young, around twenty years old Myungjun guessed, and ridiculously tall. His coal black hair was pulled back into a pony tail and his sharp eyebrows gave him an almost mean appearance. Thick muscles rippled under his skin as he stretched. He looked more like a boxer than a dancer.  
“That's Mr Heo.” Minhyuk muttered under his breath as they approached him. “He looks scary but he's a dancing legend.” Minhyuk raised his voice. “Sir, this is Kim Myungjun, our new member.”  
It was only then that Myungjun noticed the distinct lack of people. They were the only three in the room.  
After getting their greetings out of the way, Myungjun decided to ask; “Where is everyone?”  
“This _is_ everyone.” Minhyuk replied happily.  
Mr Heo saw Myungjuns surprised expression and shrugged. “Street dance and hip hop is more popular these days. Also, people seem to take one look at me and run. I guess I can understand. I don't exactly fit the bill, looks-wise at least, of a contemporary dance teacher, but I promise you I know what I'm doing.”  
“He really is the best.” Minhyuk added with an excited squeal before turning to the man with hope shining in his eyes. “We should show Myungjun the choreo we've been working on for the Christmas Eve show! There's no better way of showing him how good of a teacher you are, and how much he will learn here.”  
“Okay. Go and dump your stuff by the benches over there and then we'll get started. Afterwards, I'd like to see what you can do already Myungjun. I heard from your parents that you've already won some awards for contemporary dance?”  
“Nothing big.” Myungjun mumbled, wishing his parents wouldn't brag about him so much. “Just a few small competitions.”  
“An award is still an award.” Minhyuk pointed out. “Anyway, enough talking. I want to show you our new routine.”

And show him they did.  
Myungjuns jaw dropped in shock as he watched them dance. Despite their teachers big, muscular stature, he moved gracefully to the music, which Myungjun was pleasantly surprised to hear was the soundtrack for the 'Dance of the sugar plum fairy'.  
“You're doing The Nutcracker for your Christmas Eve show?” Myungjun asked excitedly when the music came to an end. He knew Christmas was still months away but it was still an exciting thought. “I have my own choreography for it. You wanted to see what I was capable of right? Start it from the top Sir and I'll show you.”  
“I like your attitude kid.” Mr Heo smiled. “But lets drop the formalities. Just call me Donghan.”  
Myungjun stepped out barefoot into the centre of the room. He preferred dancing without shoes for no other reason than personal preference.  
Luckily, his new teacher didn't seem to mind his lack of footwear. He just started the music from the top and went to sit beside Minhyuk on the bench to watch.  
Myungjun closed his eyes and took a deep breath, relaxing his mind and body.  
He'd done this routine a thousand times before so it came naturally to him when the first few notes played through the speakers. His body seemed to move by itself and he was spurred on even further when he heard a gasp of awe from Minhyuk when his fluid movements picked up speed.  
The routine was simple but effective. It was the dance that had won him his first ever award and he tried just as hard now as he did back then.  
When the music finally came to an end Myungjuns body was tingling, alight with the euphoric feeling only dance could bring him.  
“Wow Myungjun that was amazing!” Minhyuk gushed, rushing over with Myungjuns water bottle.  
Myungjun accepted it gratefully and took a few sips before freezing when his eyes met Donghans.  
Donghan was staring at him, eyes narrowed and expression unreadable from his seat on the bench.  
“What did you think?” Myungjun asked him nervously.  
Donghan was quiet for a little while longer before standing up. “You have a lot of potential, and you dance with obvious passion. But some of your techniques need work and you need to learn to use the space around you more effectively. You learnt to dance in a smaller studio than this right?”  
Myungjun nodded feeling a bit disappointed at the criticism.  
Donghan saw the expression on his face and sighed.  
“Don't look so down. You did the best with what you had and that's admirable. Also, for a minute there, your dance even captivated _me_. And I'm hard to please. You did well. So chin up. We can spend the next twenty minutes going over the parts of your routine I found the weakest. Then you can try again. I'm sure you'll be able to see and appreciate the difference working with me can make.”

~

Friday afternoon. The last day of Myungjuns first month at school.  
It had been an unpleasant month to say the least.  
He hadn't wanted to get involved in any drama, and had only been wanting to focus on his studies and his dancing.  
Instead, he'd become the centre of attention. Declaring his sexuality had created the exact drama he'd been trying to avoid and because of that decision, he'd found himself as one of the outcasts.  
But he had also been learning how to survive in this new unfavourable environment. He found that his days went by easier if he sat as close as possible to the teachers during lessons so one, he could actually hear what they were saying and two, it deterred people from bullying him too much in class for fear of getting caught.  
Outside of the classroom Myungjun learnt to stick to the walls, keep his fringe down and if he could, wear his earphones at all times. That way, he could hear his favourite music instead of the insults thrown his way as he travelled around the school.  
At break and lunchtimes, Myungjun would eat a lunch he had made himself so that he didn't have to go anywhere near the cafeteria, and he always found somewhere to eat where no-one else would be able to find him.

Present day Myungjun was contemplating his options for today's lunch. Should he eat it in the library? In a school like this, not many people visited such a place, but he knew that if he was caught with food in there by the librarian, he was sure to be kicked out.  
Another option was for him to just eat in the classroom he was currently sitting in. The lesson was coming to an end and he knew that this specific teacher allowed her students to eat their lunch at these desks, as long as they cleaned up after themselves.  
But the downside to that option came in the form of a boy named Byungchul.  
He was, without a doubt, Myungjuns worst bully.  
The other students mainly just called Myungjun names or pretended like he didn't exist. But Byungchul, since their very first meeting, had gotten physical.  
Byungchul liked to push Myungjun in the halls and vandalise his locker with vulgar graffiti.  
One day he'd even stolen Myungjuns backpack and Myungjun had found it, hours later, tossed into one of the dumpsters behind the cafeteria covered in food. He hadn't realised until it was too late that Byungchul and some of his friends had been lying in wait for him there.  
That was the first time Myungjun had gone home hiding bruises from his parents. And it certainly wasn't to be the last.  
Byungchul made his life a misery on a daily basis and the thought of eating in the same room as him had Myungjun contemplating his third option more seriously, the option he used the most.  
The toilets were Myungjuns sanctuary. He could lock himself inside one of the stalls and be left in peace for the entire lunch hour to do whatever he pleased.  
Usually he ate before locking himself away in there, but sometimes, on the rare occasions that he had no other choice, he had to eat sitting on the toilet whilst trying to keep the volume of his munching to a minimum so that he wouldn't get caught.  
Soft foods were always the best foods on those days.

When the class was finally dismissed, Myungjun had made up his mind.  
He began packing his stuff away into his backpack as quickly as he possibly could in the hopes of exiting the room with the crowd so that there was less of a chance of Byungchul spotting him.  
Unfortunately, he wasn't fast enough.  
Myungjun cried out in despair when the notes he'd meticulously taken and decorated over the last hour were snatched right out of his hands.  
He looked to the teacher for help but she tactically ignored the exchange. Most teachers usually did when the exchange involved any of the members of Mortem.

Mortem; the Latin word for death.  
Myungjun thought it was ridiculous that such a thing as gangs existed outside of movies.  
Apparently though, in this school they not only existed, but they thrived too.  
It was clear to see who had the most power within these walls. Myungjun had been observing the strange dynamic ever since his first day and he'd come to a terrifying conclusion.  
Bullies ruled this place. The more brutal they were, the more power they held, over students and teachers alike. It was a hierarchy of control, with Mortem sitting menacingly at the top.  
Even though the thugs inside that gang never lay a direct hand on the teaching staff, the adults were still too worried about what else could happen if they provoked Mortem too far, so they usually just turned a blind eye to whatever they were doing, even if it was happening right under their noses.  
Myungjun thought they were cowards.  
At his old school bullying hadn't been tolerated in the slightest, and especially not bullying that involved physical violence. Coming here had been Myungjuns wake-up call that not everyone in this world shared the same beliefs and values as those in his small town had.  
It had been a depressing realisation.

The sound of tearing paper filled the air and Myungjun fought back his tears and his anger as he watched his notes flutter to the floor in pieces. He knew not to fight back. Byungchul was just trying to provoke him in order to justify the beating he was no doubt waiting to give him.  
“You didn't need those did you?” Byungchul asked innocently as he stepped on the pieces, soiling them beyond repair.  
Myungjuns hands shook at his sides. The injustice of it all angered him immensely.  
Why was Byungchul doing this to him? Not just tearing up his notes, but everything else as well. Myungjun had never done anything to the boy to deserve such harsh treatment.  
The more Myungjun thought about it the angrier he got. And within half a second he'd made a choice he would no doubt regret.  
“I want to see your leader. Take me to Park Jinwoo.” Myungjun demanded on the verge of tears.  
Byungchul paused in his destruction looking genuinely taken aback for a change. “What?”  
“I said,” Myungjun repeated less confidently this time. “take me to see Park Jinwoo.”  
Park Jinwoo was a name Myungjun had heard uttered countless times by voices always saturated in either fear or respect.  
Park Jinwoo was the name of Mortems most renowned member, their leader. Thankfully, Myungjun had never had the displeasure of meeting him. He wasn't surprised by this because from what he had overheard about Jinwoo, it sounded like he never got his hands dirty himself. If he wanted something doing, or someone beat up, he sent others like Byungchul to do it for him.  
People seemed to respect him for having that amount of control over his friends, especially those in the schools lower ranking gangs who aspired to be like Mortem, but Myungjun just thought that this made Jinwoo lazy and downright cocky.  
However, he'd also come to the realisation that if this was someone who could boss someone as terrifying as Byungchul around, then he must be equally as fear-inducing, if not more, and a part of him was suddenly grateful that this Jinwoo never sullied his own fists.  
Myungjun pictured him to be someone like Donghan. Tall and strong and fierce.

What he _wasn't_ expecting, was for Mortems leader to be none other than the one who had pushed him up against the wall on his first ever day at school, the one whose eyes had held nothing but pure, undeniable terror as he asked Myungjun if he had a death wish. But that's who he came face to face with as Byungchul led him into the lions den.  
Mortems favourite place to hangout was one of the old abandoned rooms in the schools gymnasium, which explained why everyone and their mother steered clear of it.  
Myungjun tried not to choke on his fright as he was led through the doors. He regretted requesting this now. There was no way he'd leave here alive if the rumours about this place were true.  
Jinwoos eyes widened slightly as he spotted Myungjun from across the room. One muscled arm steadied the punching bag he'd been boxing against when Myungjun had first walked inside. The other hand swept the sweaty hair off of his forehead, revealing the handsome face Myungjun had only ever seen once before.  
Myungjun had always wondered why he'd never run into that boy again, despite being at this school for nearly a whole month already. But now it all made sense.  
“Its you.” Myungjun squeaked out before he could stop himself.  
Jinwoo quickly looked away from him to scowl at Byungchul instead. “Why the fuck is he here? I asked you to bring me the other nerd, not him.” Jinwoo pushed away from the bag and walked to an old battered sofa to grab the towel that had been thrown carelessly over one of the arms. He grabbed it and began wiping away the sweat he'd built up.  
“I sent Bin after the other nerd. This one here wanted to see y- hey!”  
Myungjun walked straight past Byungchul, eyes on Jinwoo only. All the fear he had been feeling dissolved. “You're Mortems leader?” Myungjun asked as he stopped a foot away from him.  
Jinwoos eyes narrowed as they looked him over. “I am. And you're...” His eyes flickered to Byungchul over Myungjuns shoulder. When they returned to meet Myungjuns, there was a new hardness in them. “You're that fag.”  
Myungjun flushed. He heard Byungchul chuckling appreciatively behind him.  
For some reason, hearing that insult from Jinwoo angered him even more.  
“Just because I'm gay doesn't mean you have to be nasty.” Myungjun retaliated.  
A noise of pure rage sounded behind him and suddenly Myungjun was falling, a strong rough hand in his hair pulling him down to his knees.  
“Don't speak to our leader like that ever again you little bitch.” Byungchul spat venomously into his ear.  
Myungjun yelped as the hand tightened, ripping strands of his hair straight from his scalp.  
“Enough Chul.” Jinwoo commanded sounding angry.  
The hand immediately retracted from Myungjuns hair and he fell forwards onto his hands and knees with a gasp.  
“Why?” Byungchul challenged. “People need to know that they can't just disrespect you like that. Especially people like him.”  
Myungjun looked up from the floor in surprise at Jinwoos next words.  
“He retaliated because I disrespected him first. Can't blame him for trying.”  
“What the fuck?” Byungchul asked in quiet disbelief. “You going soft or something? Got a soft spot for homos now huh? Maybe its time Mortem looked for a new leader.”  
Silence.  
After a beat, Byungchul seemed to realise his mistake, but his apology was cut short when Jinwoos fist collided with his face. Byungchul staggered back with a grunt clutching his mouth.  
Jinwoo was breathing heavily, hands shaking. Myungjun could see it in Jinwoos eyes again. The fear. It was well covered up but Myungjun had a knack for reading people. Something definitely wasn't right here.  
“Of course I'm not going fucking soft.” Jinwoo spat. He looked down at Myungjun with something akin to hatred before yanking him to his feet. Myungjun stumbled into him at the momentum and Jinwoo shoved him back a step looking disgusted.  
“Whatever happens to you from now on is all your fault.” Jinwoo hissed quietly for only Myungjun to hear.  
Myungjun didn't see the blow coming.  
The backhand sent him sprawling over the sofa. His glasses clattered noisily to the floor where he was sure he heard them smash. His mother was going to kill him. There was a ringing in Myungjuns ears and he could taste metal. He tried to get up but another hit sent him back down.  
“Don't.” Jinwoo growled, his voice close.  
Don't what? Myungjun wanted to ask. Don't get back up? Don't fight it? Don't try to run? _Don't be gay?_  
Jinwoo whispered the word over and over again as he beat him. Every time the word slipped from his lips it sounded more pained until Myungjun was left wondering; who was the one really getting hurt here?

~

Covering up his bruises was easy. Myungjun found his old make-up bag, the one he used to use when getting ready for competitions, and he used what was inside to cover up the evidence of his bullying.  
When the make-up in his bag finally ran out, he went and bought more.  
If his parents ever saw his bruising, he told them he injured himself at dance practice.  
If Donghan or Minhyuk ever saw his bruising, he told them he injured himself whilst practising his routines at home.  
Myungjun told himself he was doing the right thing. He was lying to protect his friends and family from the truth. He didn't want them to get upset and angry on his behalf. He was nearly eighteen. He could handle it himself. He had managed to survive this long in his new school all alone in his problems after all.  
Only one more year to go. One more year and then he was free.

“So did you decide on what you wanted to do for your birthday?” Minhyuk asked as they left the dance studios showers. The lesson they'd just had had been tough on them both so they walked through the white corridors towards reception at a slower pace than usual to spare their aching muscles.  
Myungjun readjusted his duffel bag in his hands before answering. “Me and my parents have differing opinions. They keep saying that because its my eighteenth, I need to do something special. But all I really want to do is watch a movie and order take-out.” Myungjun pouted. “I haven't ever been inside a real-life movie theatre before. I've been to other theatres to watch plays and musical concerts, but I've never been to watch a movie. To me that's special enough for my birthday. My parents are just being difficult.”  
They waved goodbye to the receptionist as they passed her before stepping outside and stopping under one of the lit street lamps.  
It was late, coming up to ten o'clock, and was already dark.  
The cold air made Myungjun shiver.  
“If it really means that much to you we can go see a movie, but maybe you should change ordering take-out to eating somewhere more upmarket, that way your parents might agree.” Minhyuk suggested as he looked around the empty car park with a frown. “Why isn't he here yet?” He muttered to himself before turning to Myungjun. “Are you sure you don't want a lift home? I know you don't live that far but its really late.”  
Myungjun shook his head with a smile. “No thanks. I told my dad to stop picking me up from class because I want to be more independent, and I'm sure he'll be upset if he see's yours dropping me off. I'll be fine, promise. I'll even text you when I get home.”  
Minhyuk was temporarily distracted by the sleek, dark car that turned into the lot. “Make sure you do. See you.” He gave Myungjun a quick hug before dashing off.  
Myungjun smiled after him before setting himself up for the fifteen minute journey home.  
He put his earbuds in, turned his favourite playlist on and slipped his phone back into his pocket before turning towards home and setting off at a brisk pace. 

“Why did I decide to walk home?” Myungjun whined weakly to himself a while later as he looked over the scene in front of him.  
There had been a car crash, a bad one by the looks of it, and the whole road, walkways and all, were blocked off. It was the quickest and safest route home and now Myungjun couldn't take it.  
For a brief second he considered ringing his parents and asking one of them to pick him up, but he quickly shoved that thought away. Like he'd said to Minhyuk; he was trying to be more independent. All he had to do was find another way around.  
He pulled out his phone with a sigh and opened up a map. There were two other routes along main roads which could get him home, but they'd add an extra fifteen minutes to his journey and he was already running late. His parents were sure to work themselves up into a state of panic if he didn't get home in the next seven minutes, even knowing that their son was only a phone call away, so he decided to bite the bullet and take one of the shortcuts his app suggested. It run along the back of the businesses that lined the street he was standing on and even promised to get him home two minutes early.  
Myungjun was at the mouth of the alley before he could talk himself out of it.  
He took a shaky step down it, pulling his bag closer to his body and blinking hard behind his glasses as his eyes tried to adjust to the lack of illumination. It wasn't completely dark, but it was dark enough to make him nervous.  
One half of his brain was telling him to use his phone as a flash light, whilst the other half told him to keep his phone hidden from view, so that if he ran into any shady figures, they wouldn't be able to just snatch his phone straight from his hands. Myungjuns mother had already scolded him just yesterday for breaking his glasses again, although that wasn't Myungjuns fault, it was stupid Byungchuls and his meaty fists, and Myungjun didn't fancy incurring the wrath he would face if she had to replace his phone so soon as well.  
Myungjuns breaths came quick and sharp as he hurried down the darkened path and he wrinkled his nose at the smell. The scents of urine and fresh vomit were threatening to make his eyes water. The thought of breathing better air again made him move faster until he was jogging.  
“...kill him. Tell them to wait for me. I'll be right there.”  
Myungjun bumped straight into the talking figure that had come out of nowhere. He'd been too focused on getting out of the alley, and not stepping on anything unsavoury, that he hadn't seen who was directly in front of him.  
The voice sounded familiar but it was only when he stumbled back that he realised who the voice belonged to.  
Park Jinwoo.  
Jinwoo looked just as stunned as Myungjun to have bumped into another person so suddenly.  
“My bad. Didn't see you there. Sorry.” Jinwoo apologised before skirting around him and continuing his walk.  
Myungjun just blinked and watched him walk away feeling completely bewildered.  
One, Jinwoo had just spoken to him like a normal human being for once and not like something he had just found on the bottom of his shoe.  
Two, Jinwoo had actually just _apologised_ to him.  
But three, what had thrown Myungjun the most, was the complete lack of recognition in Jinwoos eyes as he looked upon him.  
Jinwoo hadn't recognised him at all.  
Sure, Myungjun was wearing new glasses, with different frames to his previous ones, and sure, Myungjun had his damp hair pulled back from his face, but he didn't think those simple changes to his appearance could have rendered him unrecognisable in Jinwoos eyes.  
_Its probably just because its dark. And he did look to be in a hurry._ Myungjun thought to himself as he started to move in the direction of home again.

Even as Myungjun lay in bed that night after making it back in one piece, his mind stayed in that grimy alley, replaying Jinwoos apology and thinking time and time again about how nice Jinwoos voice actually was when it wasn't full of fear or hatred.

~

“I'm really really sorry Myungjun.” Minhyuk spluttered out between chesty coughs.  
Myungjun could hear just how sick he was even through the crackle of his phones poor reception.  
Myungjun sighed. “Don't worry about it. You can't help being sick. Do you want me to cancel our plans? We could always just celebrate my birthday next weekend.”  
“No!” Minhyuk answered quickly. “You've been waiting for this day for over a month. Plus, this movie won't be in theatres next week. Just tell Donghan I said hi and that I was sorry for leaving him alone with you.”  
“Oi! What's that supposed to mean?” Myungjun asked offended as Minhyuk choked on an evil cackle before hanging up the phone.  
Myungjun scowled at the empty screen feeling tempted to call the little brat back. But then his phone rang again and this time it was his other close friend.  
“Hey midget. I'm outside so hurry your cute ass up.”  
Myungjun pouted as he collected his wallet and keys. “Why is everyone insulting me today? Its my birthday, you should be nicer to me!”  
“I called your ass cute didn't I?” Donghan asked teasingly. “But who else is insulting you?”  
“Hyuk.” Myungjun huffed as he opened the front door and stepped outside. He waved to Donghan who was parked across the street in his jeep but carried on talking to him over the phone as he crossed the road towards the vehicle. “He's sick. He said hi and that he was sorry for leaving you alone with me. I'm hurt.”  
Donghan leaned over to open the passenger side door from the inside before Myungjun could do it himself.  
Myungjun ended the call and hopped inside. “Thanks.”  
“You know I don't mind being alone with you.” Donghan stated simply before starting the engine. He waited for Myungjun to close the door and put on his seatbelt before he pulled away from the curb.  
The automated voice of the cars GPS faded into the background as they spoke.  
Myungjun felt completely comfortable around Donghan now. They'd gotten closer over the two years since they'd first met, and Myungjun sometimes felt closer to Donghan than he did to Minhyuk, in more ways than one, despite Donghan being their dance teacher.  
Outside of the studio, Donghan was just another close friend and Myungjun liked their dynamic.

Donghan found a parking spot in the theatres lot and killed the engine before turning to Myungjun with a grin.  
“Close your eyes birthday boy. I got you something.”  
Myungjun gasped excitedly and did as he was told, holding out his hands for good measure. Something light and rectangular was pressed into his palms.  
“Open your eyes.”  
Myungjun did and raised an eyebrow in question at the matte black business card staring up at him. It was embossed with bright red writing that Myungjun read aloud.  
“The Camellia?”  
“Turn it around.” Donghan instructed, a hint of impatience in his voice.  
The back of the card stated that Myungjun had an appointment for a job interview. The excitement was welling up in Myungjuns chest already. He'd complained time and time again about not having a job. He knew his parents were more than happy to support him monetarily but that wasn't exactly helping him to gain his independence.  
“The Camellia is an upper class club that my sister founded here in this city around a month ago now. Good old pa lent her the funds for it again, and despite our trepidations at the beginning, in thinking that this would just be another one of her failed business ideas, its actually doing really well. Her clientele are the rich and lonely and she's raking in profits daily. She's made so much money in fact, that she's already thinking of expanding and hiring dancers to give her clients one more thing to look at whilst they're there. She wanted me to be one of the dancers but I know I'd just scare people away instead of enticing them in. Which is why I thought of you.”  
Myungjun thought over his words for a second before asking cautiously; “Donghan what sort of club is this?”  
“An adult club.” Donghan answered bluntly. “Eighteens and overs only. Which is why I waited until your birthday to give this to you. It's perfectly legal...well, mainly.” Donghan laughed at the apprehensive look on Myungjuns face. “Look, don't worry about it too much now. My sister will explain more when you meet with her tomorrow. I'll even come with you. I recommended you as a dancer, nothing more. You don't even have to talk to any of the patrons there if you don't want to. You'll just get up on stage, like you're used to already, and dance. Then at the end of the night you'll walk away with money in your pockets.”  
Myungjun was biting nervously at his lip. It almost sounded too good to be true.  
Donghan sighed and reached out to pull Myungjuns bottom lip free. He let his hand linger, eyes darkening. Myungjun was used to that look by now and didn't even flinch when Donghan leaned over the centre console towards him.  
“Lets forget about this for now.” Donghan muttered, his warm, minty breath caressing Myungjuns lips, emptying Myungjuns mind of all his thoughts. “We have that movie to watch remember.”  
Maddeningly, before their lips could touch, Donghan pulled away and exited the car. He walked around to Myungjuns side and opened the door for him, offering him a hand to help him down with an arrogant smirk on his face.  
Myungjun scowled at him but accepted the help.  
“You're such a tease.” Myungjun huffed, checking he still had his wallet with the movie tickets safe inside. “You said you'd never kiss me again but you always pretend you will and its infuriating.”  
Donghan laughed and enveloped Myungjuns shoulders in his giant hands before steering him towards the theatres main doors.  
“Didn't you know you're supposed to kiss _during_ the movies and not before them?”  
Myungjun groaned in irritation, wanting nothing more than to just smack his stupid oversized movie date.  
It was at times like this where he always asked himself; 'how did our relationship end up like this?'  
But he knew perfectly well how it did.

~

When Myungjun had first laid eyes upon Donghan he had thought the older male was just plain scary. And then he'd seen him dance and that fear gave way to awe and admiration.  
It wasn't long before Myungjun realised he was developing a crush on his teacher, and the thought both excited and scared him. It made him all the more eager to get to his dance classes early but he also had to remind himself that Donghan was older than him, older than what was legal, and that there was no way in hell that Donghan would look upon someone like him with interest.  
So Myungjun was content for a long time with just sneaking peeks at him as they danced, admiring the way such a strong and manly body could move with such fluidity and grace.  
Until one day, Myungjun was sure he caught Donghan staring right back.  
Hope had bloomed inside of him. He was seventeen now, basically an adult, and he knew he was growing into his body well.  
Myungjun had wanted to know exactly what the look in Donghans eyes had meant whenever Myungjun caught him watching.  
So he started to dance with what he hoped was more sensuality, with the sole intent of provoking some sort of reaction from the other man. He'd watch in the mirror as Donghans eyes roamed his body as it moved, hips swaying more than necessary on this step, head thrown back that little bit further to bare even more of his throat on that step. Myungjun calculated all of his movements and had waited to see if Donghan would take the bait.  
The bite had come in the form of a flyer. A dance competition notice.  
“Wanna do this with me? Pairs choreo. The prize money isn't anything great but it would be good experience.” Donghan had asked him with careful eyes.  
Myungjun had accepted the flyer, letting his fingers brush against Donghans own. He'd made up his mind already.  
“Sure.” He'd answered, looking up at him from under his eyelashes. “The competition is only two weeks away though. Will we have enough time?”  
“We will if you stay after class.”  
Myungjun had felt like all of his Christmases and birthdays had come early. Staying late after class with the man he was crushing on to practice a _couples_ dance that would no doubt require them to touch and look at each other for unnecessary amounts of time?  
“Okay lets do it. But...why didn't you ask Minhyuk to dance with you instead?” Myungjun had asked trying to sound casual.  
“Me and you just have a better chemistry don't you think?” Donghan broke eye contact with him but his words had still managed to steal Myungjuns breath. “And anyway, Minhyuk is going away for a vacation with his family remember. You'll be the only one available.”  
No matter what excuses Donghan made about choosing Myungjun as his partner, Myungjun knew now for definite that he was interested too. And it was with great difficulty that Myungjun waited the whole twenty-four hours until they were alone in the studio again, without Minhyuk there to interrupt.  
Donghan had always been a hands on teacher with them both, helping to guide their bodies to form the right shapes and angles when they practised, but something about it was different when they were alone.  
“...after you've taken that step back, on the next beat you should turn, like this...” Donghans hands guided him, his touch lingering as their bodies stopped inches apart. Myungjun had looked up, feeling the heat rising in his cheeks. They were so close. If Donghan just leaned down...  
But then there was suddenly distance between them and Donghans jaw was clenched.  
“That's fine. Let start again. From the top.”  
The first week had been full of high tensioned encounters like that, that always left Myungjun breathless and Donghan seemingly conflicted.  
Then Minhyuk had left to go on vacation and suddenly Myungjun had Donghan alone for their regular lessons too.  
Myungjun had been getting impatient. He couldn't stand the tension between them any longer.  
So when Donghan backed him up against the mirrored wall not even five minutes into their first normal lesson alone, Myungjun had felt nothing but pure relief.  
Donghans palms rested against the mirror above Myungjuns head, making him feel the difference between their heights.  
“Why are you dancing like that?” Donghan had growled down at him. “I never taught you to move like that.”  
“I looked it up online.” Myungjun admitted shamelessly. “I needed to get your attention somehow.”  
“Get my attention? Myungjun I'm twenty-one and you're-”  
“An adult.” Myungjun interrupted firmly. “I'm not a child, and you need to stop treating me like one.”  
Myungjun then yanked Donghan down to kiss him before he could chicken out. He didn't know where that confidence had come from, he certainly wasn't like that in school, but being confident and assertive had finally gotten him what he had wanted.  
Their relationship changed after that. Myungjuns mouth got more of a workout than his body did during their lessons from then on but he wasn't complaining. Donghan was a good kisser and Myungjun enjoyed having someone to kiss.  
However, Donghan never allowed things to go further than that. Whenever Myungjuns hands wandered, or he felt brave enough to tug at Donghans clothes, he'd always find his hands restrained and have to face Donghans disapproving glare.  
Donghan wanted to wait until Myungjun was eighteen before going any further.  
Myungjun wanted him to just shut his stupid mouth and take his top off.  
They were at a stand still, neither of them wanting to give in.  
Until...  
“We need to talk.” Donghan muttered to him one day, cutting the music.  
Myungjun hadn't liked the look on his face and he liked the words that came out of Donghans mouth next even less.  
“What's going on between us needs to stop. I know you think you're in love with me, Minhyuk told me about the conversation you two had about it, so I'm ending things here before they go too far. I don't do relationships. I cant give you what you want Myungjun I'm sorry.”  
Myungjun had cried alone in his bed for weeks after that happened, the heartbreak never easing, until one day he just stopped.  
Why was he crying?  
Hadn't he promised himself when he first moved to this city that he was only going to focus on his studies and his dance?  
So why was he letting his feelings cloud his judgement now?  
Myungjun got out of bed that very same day and attended his dance class.  
Donghan and Minhyuk were both surprised to see him again but Myungjun just smiled at them both and told them he was ready to dance once more.  
Things were understandably difficult at first, but soon he and Donghan moved past whatever had been happening between them and resumed the role of teacher and student.  
Months passed by and Myungjun realised that they were only ever meant to be friends. And he was fine with that.

~

Myungjun groaned and stretched out his aching muscles as the ending credits started to roll. His first time watching a movie on the big screen had been a success. The movie had been great, with the right amount of action and adventure to keep him entertained.  
Donghan had eaten all the popcorn before the movie even started but Myungjun didn't mind much. Popcorn wasn't really his thing.  
“So birthday boy, what's next on your birthday bucket list?” Donghan asked, steering him towards the exit.  
“Well all I'd planned with Minhyuk was to watch a movie and then go out to eat. But now after seeing that movie, I want to go and do something crazy!”  
Donghan laughed at his enthusiasm and hummed thoughtfully as they stepped outside.  
“How about paintballing? I know a place we can go to that's relatively cheap. My brother works there so I'm sure we can get you a birthday discount.”  
Myungjun was quick to accept the idea.

But he was also quick to regret it.  
Paintballing sounded a lot more fun then it actually was.  
Myungjun spent the majority of the time running around screaming himself hoarse as Donghan chased him through the course looking like a giant, terrifying tank in his protective wear.  
Myungjun left covered in angry purpling bruises that spanned the entirety of his back and chest. He winced every time he moved until Donghan sighed and yanked Myungjuns top up to get a better look at the damage.  
Donghan whistled low between his teeth. “Wow. You really do bruise easily. These are some nasty...wait, what's this?”  
“I don't know, I can't see what you're looking at. What is it?”  
“Bruises. But old ones. You're still injuring yourself practising at home? I've told you a hundred times to stop that and to come to the studio if you want to practice!” Donghan scolded.  
Myungjun yanked his top back down feeling guilty all over again. Even now, two years later, he was still lying to everyone around him.  
“Sometimes I want to dance at times you're not at the studio though.” Myungjun knew the excuse was weak but it was all he could think of.  
“You know I'd open the studio out of hours for you if you really wanted. I'm only a phone call away. I'd even pick you up and take you there myself.”  
“You should stop being so nice to me. You know you'll just end up giving me the wrong idea.” Myungjun muttered as they climbed into Donghans car.  
That silenced the older man.  
“I'm hungry now.” Myungjun said, breaking the silence when it started to get suffocating. “Let's go to the restaurant now. Do you think they'll have ice-cream?”

Although Minhyuk hadn't been there to celebrate with them, Myungjun counted his eighteenth birthday as a success.  
Donghan went along with all of Myungjuns wishes, no matter how silly they were and even kissed him sweetly on the forehead before they parted ways at Myungjuns front door.  
“Remember you have a job interview tomorrow.” Donghan reminded him. “I'll pick you up and take you there myself. Wear something nice.”  
Myungjun promised he would and waved as Donghan climbed up into his jeep and sped off down the road.  
Myungjun went inside where he told his parents all about his day, blew out the candles on his second birthday cake he'd received that day, and went to sleep with a giant smile on his face.  
A success indeed.

~

“You look fine, great even.” Donghan reassured him as he watched Myungjun fixing his hair nervously for the third time in one of the jeeps wing mirrors. “Lets go inside.”  
Myungjun took a deep breath before following Donghan into his sisters club.  
Donghan had spent the last ten minutes reassuring Myungjun that the place wasn't as shady as it looked.  
Myungjun had been horrified at first when Donghan turned the car into the rougher part of the city, driving deeper and deeper until Myungjun was sure they were lost.  
And the outside of the business itself did nothing to sooth Myungjuns worries either.  
With only one door, no windows, and two suited men standing outside, the place looked dangerous, even in the daylight.  
Myungjuns job interview was at lunch time and Donghan assured him that the place would be empty.  
Myungjun wanted to ask why the bodyguards still needed to be there if that were the case but decided against it. 

The only solace Myungjun could find was the fact he'd already met Donghans siblings before and he liked his sister Aera a lot. She was funny and witty and was always bullying Donghan, despite his protests that she should respect her elders.  
Her reply was always the same; “We're triplets dumbass. Just because you were yanked out before me doesn't mean a damn thing and you know it. Gikwang was out first yet I don't see you respecting him on the daily.”  
Myungjun thought she had a point. But he never voiced that opinion of course. Donghan was the one he saw nearly every day after all.

The two suited men nodded in greeting to Donghan before opening the door for them.  
Donghan had been right. The place was empty. The only living soul inside being Myungjuns interviewer who was currently mopping the floor.  
Myungjun took a quick glance around.  
There was a well polished bar lining one wall, with bottles upon bottles of expensive looking liqueur lining the shelves behind it. Multiple stages were dotted around the room and Myungjun was mildly horrified to see some of them equipped with poles and cages.  
“I am NOT becoming a stripper.” Myungjun squeaked out earning himself two matching laughs. He looked up to see that Aera had approached them and flushed. “Hello Aera. Its nice to see you again.”  
“You too little one.” Aera replied fondly, ruffling Myungjuns perfectly styled hair into disarray.  
The nickname 'little one' had been given to him almost the second Aera had laid eyes upon him. Myungjun knew why. Usually he hated it when people commented on his height, but there was no denying that he was _tiny_ compared to her and her brothers. They always stood at least two heads taller than the tallest man in any room and Myungjun often found his neck aching if he was forced to stand and talk to them for too long.  
So Myungjun accepted the nickname. But only from her.  
“What do you think of the place?” Aera asked excitedly as she gestured around the room pointing things out. “The speakers cost me a fortune getting them rigged up correctly around the room and there's even individual speakers in all ten of the private booths over there that can play different music at the patrons request. There's a dance floor, six different stages, a bar, separate toilets for the patrons and the staff and even a changing room out back where you'll be able to get changed in and out of your work attire.”  
“And what _is_ my work attire?” Myungjun asked.  
“The only thing you're required to wear is a red silk robe that signifies your position as one of my staff. Whatever you want to wear underneath it is up to you. Although most people choose lingerie because that seems to make them the most money.”  
“He'll be dancing in his regular dancewear.” Donghan cut in. “He's not mature enough for anything else.”  
Myungjun couldn't help but feel offended. “I'm more mature than you!”  
“So you'll dance in lingerie then? Is that what you're saying?”  
Myungjun flushed and looked away. Of course he wasn't going to do that and Donghan knew it.  
“Well its like I said,” Aera spoke up. “you can dance in whatever you feel most comfortable in. It will be a visual performance only. You won't be touched, unless you want to be of course, and I'll even provide you with a personal bodyguard to ensure your safety. I pay minimum wage by the hour, double on weekends, but the bulk of your money will come from tips.”  
Aera explained the sort of tips he should be expecting per dance and Myungjuns jaw went slack with shock.  
“Wait seriously? That much? I could pay off my parents monthly rent in a few days work! I knew it would be a lot because of the way Donghan described your clientele but still...”  
Aera grinned. “Is that a yes then? Will you come and work for me? I'm looking for talented dancers and I trust in my brothers recommendation of you. You won't just find work and money here. You'll find a new family and friends too. I promise you'll like it here. Please say yes!”  
Myungjun wasn't sure who was interviewing who at this point, it wasn't very professional to begin with, with Aera still leaning against her mop giving him a sisterly smile, but he loved the quirkiness of it, and it was because of that that he answered with a;  
“Yes. I'll dance for you. But on one condition.” Myungjuns eyes flickered up to Donghan. No-one made him feel safer. “I want your brother as my bodyguard. He's my dance teacher, so he'll be able to tell me where my performances are lacking and I trust no-one more with my well-being...if you want to of course.” Myungjun added shyly.  
Donghan had looked like he was going to refuse at the beginning, but when Myungjun had finished talking there was a new softness to Donghans hard eyes.  
“Sure. We can tailor your shifts here around your classes at the studio. We'll make it work.”  
Aera shrieked excitedly before kicking over the bucket of soapy water in her attempt to get to Myungjun to give him a hug. Donghans shoes were drenched and he groaned aloud.  
“These were my new trainers!”

~

The Camellia at night was a lot different to how it was during the day. The bright white lights Aera used to clean under had turned a deep rouge and invisible smoke machines set off a haze in the air that smelled strongly of flowers.  
The music was soft, sensual, and Myungjun felt every beat of it under his skin as he made his way through the club towards the door at the back labelled **STAFF ONLY**.  
He used the key-card Aera had pressed into his hand at the end of the interview to open the door and stepped inside.  
The room wasn't as big as the club itself but it was still spacious with two rows of mirrored vanity tables covered in makeup and hair accessories running down the centre of the room. There were metal racks lining the walls at the left and the right of the room with various clothes and accessories hanging neatly in their dust covers.  
The back wall of the changing room was covered in mirrors where two of the other staff members were checking out their outfits that covered so little of their skin it made Myungjun blush.  
On each side of the door he had just walked through, there were hooks along the walls where blood-red, silk robes were hanging under the names of who they belonged too.  
Myungjun quickly found the one labelled **Kim Myungjun** and tried the robe on. It fit perfectly. Aera had been right when she said she had an eye for peoples measurements.  
“Hello!” A cheery voice made Myungjun turn, where he looked up at a young man whose beauty rivalled that of Donghans. “Myungjun right? My name is Dongmin its nice to meet you.”  
“Are you one of the dancers here too?” Myungjun asked, eyeing his red robe.  
Dongmin laughed and shook his head. “Definitely not. I'm still too young to work out front. I work in the back doing paperwork and stuff. I'll be the one you see to get paid your monthly wage. It's cash in hand. I just thought I'd come and introduce myself.”  
“How old are you?”  
“Seventeen. Aera took me on as an apprentice. I've already seen your paperwork so I don't have to ask how old you are.”  
Myungjun made a noise of understanding as he looked around the room. “There's a lot of people in here.” He said, noting that nearly all of the vanity tables were occupied, by young men and women alike.  
“We have six dancers now that you're here. Two bartenders. Eight companions, they're the ones who do the sexual favours for clients in the private booths and then everyone has their own personal security. You're all classed as 'camellias' here, and once every week, after everyone has declared their weekly earnings, the 'camellia scoreboard' is updated and those in the top three for earnings get a bonus to their monthly pay. Aera is a very generous boss. It think that's all I'm required to tell you, but Aera asked me to help you get introduced to everyone and to help you pick a suitable outfit for your first dance.”  
Myungjun frowned at that last part. “I already have my outfit, I don't need to pick one.”  
“Which is?”  
“My usual dance-wear. A white tee and-”  
Dongmin wrinkled his nose. “Myungjun this is going to be your debut. You can't debut in something that plain. You want people to remember you right? I'm sure your dancing will be memorable enough,” He added tactfully. “but in this type of business your looks are just as important as your dance. Understand?”  
“But Aera said-”  
“I know what Aera said. She told you that you could dance in whatever you were comfortable in and that still stands. But I can promise you that you'll do so much better dressed in something a little more striking. And no, I'm not necessarily talking about dancing in your underwear. I think that if what I read in your file is correct, about how you dance contemporary better, you'd be better off dressed in a nice flowy shirt, sheer if you're brave enough, and a pair of high waisted shorts to replace your usual cotton ones. That's my suggestion. Its not too different from what you're planning on wearing now, but it will definitely give your image a boost. Think about it at least. Bur first, lets go and meet your new co-workers.”

~

The applause that Myungjun received after his first dance on one of The Camellias stages wasn't something he was likely to forget.  
Every clap of his audiences hands told him that he'd done well, that he was beautiful, that he was worth more than his bullies ever made him out to be.  
The relief of it made Myungjuns head spin. He hadn't realised how much he had needed it and he approached the side of the stage on shaky legs.  
Donghan was there waiting for him with a wide smile and an offered hand. He looked ridiculously handsome in his suit and Myungjun knew that it was a sight he'd have a hard time getting used to.  
“You did well.” Donghan praised him as he handed him a towel to wipe away the sweat he had built up under the warm lights. “I'm glad you didn't wear your usual clothes. It definitely attracted more admirers this way. Wanna go say hello to them and collect your tips for the night?”  
Myungjun nodded feeling nervous but excited. He too was also glad he'd gone with Dongmins suggested outfit. He'd never performed on stage for an actual audience in just his practise clothes, so being in something more eye catching definitely made him feel more comfortable.

He'd hovered in front of the mirrored wall in the changing room, stuck between wearing one of the flowy shirts made of silk or one of the flowy shirts made of something sheer. Dongmin had told him to wear something sheer if he felt brave enough but he hadn't been sure.  
Then one of the other dancers had approached him with a smile and hyped him up until he felt confident enough to go with the sheer. He made a mental note to thank her when they crossed paths again.

Myungjun slipped on his red robe and stepped out from beside the stage and into the small crowd. All of the faces that greeted him were old enough to be his parents and the thought threatened to make him uncomfortable. But then a woman approached him with a kind smile and a compliment and he relaxed.  
He didn't know whether it was because of Donghans looming presence at his back, or if the clients here just had a genuine sense of respect, but no-one leered at him or made any suggestive comments about his body.  
Myungjun was tipped by five of the seven people who had watched him dance and he was shocked when the mini crowd finally dispersed and he was able to count the money he had in his hands.  
“Oh my god Donghan there's so much money! Is this really all mine?” Myungjun asked on the verge of tears.  
Donghan chuckled and tilted Myungjuns face up by the chin to look at him properly. His eyes sparkled. “Yes its all yours. You definitely worked hard for it.” He started to lead Myungjun towards the staff room. “Everything you earn in your first month is tax free. Then Aera will ask for five percent of whatever you earn every night you work. She needs to keep this place running somehow.”  
With the amount of money Myungjun had just earned, five percent sounded more than fair to him.

~

Myungjuns parents noticed the change in him after Myungjun started working regularly as one of the clubs camellias. They didn't know about his new job, and Myungjun asked Donghan to keep hold of all of the money he earned every night so that they wouldn't get suspicious.  
“Jun you look happier lately.” His father observed at breakfast one morning before school. “Something good happen?”  
“Not particularly.” Myungjun answered, trying to hide his smile behind his spoon.  
He _was_ happier now, and more confident in himself, and every day he saw improvements in his dancing which only boosted his mood even further.  
“Are you going to be out again tonight?” His mother asked, pouring him another glass of her home-made vitamin juice. It had a bitter taste but Myungjun drunk it all down to make her happy. “You've been out every night for the past few weeks.”  
“Yes. I'll be at the studio with Donghan and Minhyuk. We're working on a new routine so don't expect me back till late.”  
At least he was telling part of the truth. He _would_ be stopping by the studio after school to work on a new routine with the others, but he'd also be going straight to work after that too.  
Myungjun had been worried at first, wondering how he was going to balance his studies for school, dance classes AND work without one of them suffering, but a whole month had gone by already and he was still managing all three perfectly well.  
Or course he couldn't exactly describe his school life as anything other than hell on earth, but at least he was still managing to maintain his grades.  
Byungchul was just as nasty as ever, but then there was Park Jinwoo.  
Myungjun had spent enough time observing Jinwoo over the years and Park Jinwoo interested him in a way the other bullies didn't.  
One reason being that the intensity of Jinwoos bullying seemed to change depending on who he was with. If he was with Byungchul, Myungjun got hit and it was guaranteed that Jinwoo would insult his sexuality. If Jinwoo was with Bin however, the most he would do was shove Myungjun out of the way in the corridors or swipe his books out of his hands.  
And most interesting of all, if Jinwoo was alone, the only thing Myungjun would receive would be a glare and then Jinwoo would walk away.  
Myungjun had been confused by these changes in the beginning but now he'd come to a conclusion, and he was fairly certain that this conclusion was correct.  
_Park Jinwoo did not enjoy bullying him._  
Byungchul bullied Myungjun at every opportunity he could get, and even purposely created some of those opportunities himself, smiling and laughing for the entire duration and _enjoying_ the pain he caused.  
But Jinwoo never smiled and he never laughed. Sure, he smirked and sniggered, but Myungjun could tell that his heart was never really in it. And he only every bullied Myungjun when the others were around. As if his hand was forced, as if he _had_ to bully him to keep up his reputation as Mortems leader.  
It made Myungjun feel almost sorry for him.  
And the fact that Jinwoo behaved this way was enough of a reason for Myungjun to think that he was different.  
Did the occasional beatings still hurt Myungjun? Yes.  
But did he hate Jinwoo like he hated the others? Not at all.  
Jinwoos mouth and eyes always told different stories. His eyes were still full of fear and maybe even pain, even to this day, two years later. Myungjun didn't understand the look in his eyes at all but every encounter they had just made him all the more curious.  
Myungjun wished he could get just five minutes alone with him, away from school altogether, to sit down with him and ask him exactly who Park Jinwoo was.  
Sometimes Myungjun even walked down that dark alley at night, the one he had bumped into Jinwoo in on the night of the car crash, in the hopes of meeting him again. The Jinwoo he had met down there had been a completely different person. It was as if he were living a double life too.  
But Myungjun never held out any real hope that he would ever get those five minutes alone with him, to unravel the mystery that was his half-hearted bully.

Much like he didn't hold out too much hope for the upcoming school festival. Every year was the same. His fellow students would talk about it excitedly for weeks beforehand. The teachers always seemed excited too, excited that their students were finally getting motivated about something, but Myungjun knew that the real reason his classmates were excited was because of what happened _after_ the festival.  
Mortem always held a gathering in the nearby woods, where illicitly gained booze flowed freely and more than just cigarettes were smoked.  
Jinwoos parties were famous and as it was open invitation, everyone attended.  
Everyone except Myungjun.  
He wasn't stupid enough to think that the gang would treat him any differently under the influence of drugs or alcohol or both. He knew he'd still just end up as their punching bag.  
So he avoided the woods on the same nights every year like the other students avoided him in school every day; like the trees had the plague.  
Avoiding Jinwoos after party on the day of the schools festival was easy, so he was never dreading that part of the day. Instead, he dreaded what happened during the hours before lunch.  
The compulsory sports segment.  
Every student needed to participate in a sporting event and Myungjun was still traumatised by the wrist he broke when he was younger. The mere thought of anything sporty that involved balls made his wrist ache, and unfortunately the majority of the sporting events involved those spherical devils.  
So every year, Myungjun participated in one of the track events instead.  
The first year he did the one hundred metre sprint and came in third place.  
That achievement was the only thing that got him into his relay team the second year. Of course no one _really_ wanted to have him on their team, but knowing that he could run that fast made him an asset.  
But this year, Myungjun had already decided on his event beforehand and turned down every reluctant offer he received from the relay teams.  
Stamina. One of Myungjuns strong points. Stamina. Myungjun had a lot of it. Stamina. Exactly what the cross country race would need.  
In reality, he would just have to run around the school field six times and not actually cross the country, but he didn't mind. Dancing had granted him high stamina and he knew this was the event he'd be best suited for.  
So when the sheet was posted on the schools board, asking for people to sign up for the event, Myungjuns signature was printed prettily at the top.  
He checked the sheet everyday leading up to the event, hoping that no-one from his class would be participating, and luckily his wish was granted.  
But, on the last day, Myungjun was frowning as he read the last entry on the list.  
**Park Jinwoo**

Myungjun giggled quietly to himself in the schools changing room as he read the text that had just come through on his phone.

**From: DingDong(han) 9:55am**  
**Me and Hyuk are outside. I snuck Hyuk out of his school so that we could come to cheer you on. Don't disappoint me now. If you win I'll give you a kiss.**

Myungjun giggled again at the ridiculous amount of kissy emojis Donghan had ended the message with. He knew he wouldn't really receive anything more then a peck on the cheek, and he held no romantic feelings towards the older male now, but he still treasured Donghan close to his heart and the thought of seeing him and Minhyuk again gave him more motivation to try hard. 

**To: DingDong(han) 9:56am**  
**I'll try my best, but only if you cheer for me loudly!**

**To: WaitAMin(hyuk) 9:57am**  
**You shouldn't let strange men take you out of school. Even if they're tall, handsome and have nice cars. You better leave when my race is over or I'll tell your mother you ditched.**

Feeling satisfied with his replies, Myungjun stored his phone and the rest of his belongings inside his locker, making sure the door was definitely locked, before jogging out to the field.  
He spotted Donghan easily enough, he definitely stood out in a crowd, and he laughed when Donghan picked Minhyuk up off the floor so the shorter boy could wave to Myungjun over the heads of the people in front of them.  
Myungjun waved back before finding a space on the grass big enough for him to warm up.  
He could feel the adrenaline in his veins as they were called to get ready a minute later.  
By the time Myungjun reached the starting line there was only one lane left. The one right next to Jinwoo.  
Jinwoo didn't seem to notice him. He was too busy muttering under his breath as he inspected his knuckles that were covered in dried blood.  
Myungjun didn't know why he cared, but the sight of Jinwoos ruined hands made him sad. Had he wanted to bloody them today? Or had he been forced to again, to appease his friends?  
Jinwoo caught him staring. “What are you looking at nerd?”  
Myungjun shied away. “N-nothing.” He stuttered quietly. Talking to Jinwoo always made him nervous and his voice never really sounded like his own when they exchanged words.  
Jinwoo flexed his hands and flinched.  
“Do they hurt?” Myungjun asked before he could stop himself. “Your kn-knuckles I mean.”  
Jinwoo stared at him for a second, as if he couldn't quite believe Myungjun was trying to start a conversation, before looking away. “I guess.”  
Myungjun made a quiet noise of understanding. If there was one thing he understood, it was pain.  
“Why are you asking?”  
Myungjun swallowed and shrugged.  
**“On your marks!”**  
Myungjun faced forwards at the amplified voice of the race attendant.  
“Good luck.” Myungjun whispered, not expecting Jinwoo to even hear him.  
**“Get set!”**  
“You too.”  
**“Go!”**  
Myungjun was frozen, staring dumbly at Jinwoos back as he raced away. Had Jinwoo really just wished him luck? In school? Maybe he'd misheard.  
“OI MYUNGJUN MOVE YOUR ASS.” Donghans bellow drowned out everyone else's cheers and Myungjun snapped out of it and set off, exerting more energy at the beginning then he'd originally been intending to, to catch up to the other runners.  
Jinwoo was currently leading and soon enough Myungjun caught up to him. He tactically made sure to stay a few steps behind. He had the perfect view of Jinwoo this way too. Of his broad muscular shoulders that stretched against the confines of his branded white tee. Of the slim sliver of tan skin at Jinwoos waist that revealed itself with every pound of his running shoes against the grass. Of his chiselled calves that Myungjun had the strangest desire to run his fingers along, tracing all the dips and curves. They weren't the only things Myungjun wanted to touch when he laid eyes on them. Jinwoo had a nice ass. An extremely nice ass, that moved as he ran in a way that had Myungjun cracking open his water bottle before they'd even finished the first lap.  
It was a view that made something that had previously been lying dormant awaken inside of him.  
Myungjun had felt something similar to this before. With Donghan. He knew what it was.  
Attraction. He was attracted to Park Jinwoo. The realisation didn't make him happy, but it didn't upset him either.  
And he thought about why that was as they ran lap after lap.  
It wasn't until the rowdy applause pulled Myungjun out of his thoughts that he realised they were halfway around the last lap.  
Jinwoo was picking up speed, clearly aiming for first place.  
But so was Myungjun.  
Although he'd exerted extra energy at the beginning, he'd maintained a steady pace throughout and felt ready enough to use the last of his energy in one explosive burst.  
Jinwoo made a startled noise of surprise as Myungjun passed him.  
Then suddenly Myungjun was the one left surprised.  
Jinwoo had caught up to him quickly and Myungjun realised with a fresh jolt of energy that this was no longer a race between him and the rest of the students. Now it was just a race between him and Jinwoo.  
They were neck and neck on the final sprint and a happy laugh bubbled its way past Myungjuns lips when he noticed Minhyuk had upgraded to sitting on Donghans shoulders in the crowd. Their combined cheers of his name made his heart sing.  
A tie for first place didn't seem so bad now.  
“Sorry.” Jinwoo growled beside him. “But I can't lose to you.”  
Myungjun tripped. Or more specifically, he _was_ tripped.  
His impact with the hard ground a second later was painful and shredded at the skin on his hands, elbows and knees.  
Myungjun looked up in disbelief to see Jinwoo crossing the finish line before being swarmed by bodies congratulating and cheering for him.  
Myungjun struggled to his feet and staggered the rest of the way, being overtaken twice on the way there. He'd gone from first place to forth in a matter of seconds.  
The betrayal he felt was sharp in his chest.  
Maybe he wasn't that attracted to Park Jinwoo after all.

~

Myungjun was back to work within the week. Luckily the injuries he had sustained from the race had been minor and healed fast.  
He'd missed everyone at the club, his fellow dancers and Dongmin especially, but Donghan had insisted that he take the week off to rest and recover.  
As Myungjun walked through The Camellias doors he was immediately approached by a crowd of fans and other camellias alike who claimed to have missed him dearly.  
Myungjun just giggled and thanked them all for their concern as he assured them that he was okay.  
“I have a special surprise for my dance tonight.” Myungjun told them acting coy. “As an apology for being gone for so long. Will you come and watch me?” He gave them his best pout, knowing exactly how effective it was.  
“You won't be able to dance if you don't hurry up.” Donghan warned, manoeuvring his way through the crowd to get to Myungjuns side.  
Myungjun performed a little more fan service before allowing Donghan to lead him away.  
When they entered the changing room Donghan groaned loudly.  
“I swear you're a celebrity here now. And your hiatus has just made you even more popular. It's going to be even more of a pain being your bodyguard from now on.”  
Myungjun laughed and breezed across the floor towards one of the metal racks near the back of the room. He felt a lot more at home here now than he had on his first day.  
“So you're finally going to show us what's inside that bag you've been acting shady about?” Dongmin asked as he approached them with a smile.  
Myungjun grinned and nodded. “I finally found a use for all the money I've been making and I feel confident enough now to reveal my hard work.”  
“Please tell me its lingerie. You've been slowly decreasing the amount of coverage your outfits give you and we've all been desperate to see our baby camellia bloom.” Aera appeared at her brothers side, eyes shining with hope.  
Donghan grinned knowingly. He'd been allowing Myungjun to use his apartment as his base of operations so he already knew what was in the bag.  
“Let him get changed first.” Donghan said, pushing his sister aside to let Myungjun through.  
Myungjun took the opportunity whilst the siblings were arguing to find one of the empty curtained changing cubicles and slipped inside.  
His hands shook with excitement and nerves as he stripped down and he took a minute to inspect his naked body for imperfections before deeming it acceptable enough to be showcased.  
Aera was right, he had been working himself up to this moment, picking outfits that showed more skin as the weeks passed by. Not only was there an increase in the tips he received every night liked Dongmin had said there would be, but the more of his body he showed, the more confident he became in himself.  
He wasn't the bullied, gay nerd here. He was a respected, _sexy_ dancer and it was about time he embraced that fully.  
The lingerie he had crafted was a dainty black slip, with Camellias embroidered on the sheer material at his chest, one on each side, whose stems wound down towards the bottom of his ribs before disappearing around his sides. The waist of the slip was cinched and the material below was left to flow freely down to the tops of his thighs. It was ridiculously short but Myungjun knew his fans would love it.  
He wriggled into it, trying and succeeding in not tearing any of the delicate fabric before he reached into the bottom of the paper bag for the last item. He flushed when he looked down at the small bundle of black silk.  
Donghan had been the one to tell him he couldn't just wear regular underwear under his crafted slip. It was too pretty.  
Which is how Myungjun had ended up with his first ever pair of panties.  
Donghan had nodded in approval as Myungjun presented them with a fierce blush a few days later.  
Myungjun felt just as embarrassed now as he stepped into them. But he couldn't deny that they felt _amazing_ against his skin.  
“I'm ready!” Myungjun called out a minute later after checking himself over again. The lingerie fit perfectly and he gave himself a pat on the back for a job well done.  
He slipped on his blood red robe, letting it hang openly from his shoulders before throwing the curtain open and stepping outside.  
“Oh my god I'm gay.” Dongmin choked out as Myungjun gave them all a twirl.  
Myungjun giggled and smacked at his arm. “Shut up idiot. You were gay before this happened.”  
“Oh yeah...right.”  
“But are you sure that _you're_ gay?” Aera asked Myungjun with a whine.  
Myungjun shrieked out another giggle and covered himself up. “Stop it! Its not _that_ amazing.”  
“Oh it is” Donghan replied firmly. “I'm starting to rethink my commitment issues...”  
“Right. That's it!” Myungjun cried dramatically, throwing his hands up in the air. “I'm leaving! You're all a bunch of perverts and I have work to do. See you later.”  
Aera made a loud noise of protest before pulling Myungjun to a stop. “Hair and make-up first remember!”  
Myungjun couldn't believe he'd nearly forgotten and rushed to finish off his appearance.  
“Let me help.” Donghan took the brush from his hand and got to work on his hair, brushing it back into order and pinning it down away from his face with clips adorned with what looked like fresh flowers.  
“Where did you get these?” Myungjun asked in awe as he watched Donghan create a crown of them on his head.  
“I had them specially made to match your outfit. I knew you'd wear it today. Gut feeling.”  
Myungjun smiled at him through the mirror. “You're the best, have I ever told you that before?”  
Donghan snorted but kept quiet as he moved to work on Myungjuns face.  
When he was finished, Myungjun hardly recognised himself. Even he could shamelessly admit that he looked breathtaking and he suddenly felt the strangest urge to cry.  
“I swear to god if you start crying and ruin your makeup I'll kill you.” Donghan threatened.  
Myungjun sniffled and stood up to face him properly. “Thank you dingdong.”  
“How many times have I told you not to call me that?”  
“About a thousand times by now, but I'm never going to stop.”  
Donghan huffed and gave him a gentle shove towards the door leading out to the club. “Get that cute little butt of yours out there before I spank it.”  
“Ooh. Kinky.” Myungjun waggled his eyebrows suggestively before rushing away with a giggle.  
He didn't get very far before Donghan was by his side again, face serious as he resumed the role of Myungjuns protector.  
They left the staff room together and stepped out into the club. It was busy tonight and Myungjun let the flowery, red haze wash over him as he crossed the room, relishing in the way it made him feel.  
He kept his outfit covered, even as Donghan lifted him up onto the stage, even as he greeted the people who began to approach to watch his performance, and even as his performance begun.  
Myungjun had learnt a lot about the art of seduction here. He knew that all the teasing and the playing and the waiting that he would put his clients through would only lead to a bigger pay out at the end. And he needed more money if he wanted to buy more materials to make more pretty lingerie.  
So Myungjun danced, and he teased, and he playfully let the robe fall further from his shoulders inch by inch as men and women alike fell into his trap. And when he let the robe fall completely, he soaked up the gasps and basked in the euphoria those sounds made him feel.  
He was somebody here. Someone worth something. If only the bullies at school could see him now. If only they could see the way he captivated people as easily as he breathed air.  
Myungjun smiled out into the crowd feeling better than he'd ever felt before.  
And that's when he saw him.  
He was standing at the back, clutching a glass of something alcoholic no doubt, watching Myungjun with the same entranced look that everyone else in the room was giving him.  
Park Jinwoo.

Myungjun didn't know how he managed to finish his dance, or how he managed to get through the crowd of onlookers without a single break in his perfect facade, but suddenly he was standing in front of his half-hearted bully, who was looking, for all intents and purposes, completely speechless.  
Myungjun was already feeling euphoric, already feeling the adrenaline racing through him from his dance, so maybe that's what gave him the courage to ask;  
“Are you here to tip me too?”  
He expected Jinwoo to snap out of it, to tell him that no matter what he looked like, he was, and always would be, the four-eyed nerd he bullied.  
But then Jinwoo was pulling out his wallet, removing the last of his money, and stuffing the notes into Myungjuns already busy hands. And just like that night down the dark alley, there was no recognition in Jinwoos eyes whatsoever. The realisation gave Myungjun mixed emotions.  
But he pushed them aside and turned to Donghan wondering what he would find in his expression. Would Donghan remember Jinwoo from the day of the school festival? Would he remember that Jinwoo was the one who had tripped him to win the race?  
Apparently not.  
Donghan just looked down at Myungjun expectantly, waiting for his orders.  
After a beat, Myungjun gave them. “Thank you Donghan, that will be all.” Myungjun handed his money over. “I will be taking this gentleman to one of the private booths and do not wish to be disturbed.”  
_I'm what?_  
This wouldn't be the first time Myungjun had taken a client to one of the booths. But it was definitely the first time he was doing it of his own accord. Usually, the clients made appointments with Aera to see Myungjun privately and he usually went along with it knowing that a private dance could increase his days pay ten fold.  
Yet here he was, offering to take Jinwoo there himself, knowing full well he wouldn't be getting paid at all.  
No wonder the small crease formed in between Donghans brows. “Are you sure? You're just finishing up for the night, maybe you should head home.”  
_Am I sure?_  
Myungjun had made up his mind in half a second. He'd wanted an opportunity to be alone with Jinwoo for the longest time, to find out who he really was, and now that opportunity had landed right in front of him. He wasn't going to waste it.  
Especially when he was starting to get a feeling that Jinwoo wasn't exactly as straight as he claimed to be.  
_Jinwoo forgive me_.  
With a giggle, Myungjun moved to Jinwoos side, grabbing onto one of the hands that had caused him pain and pressed up against him completely.  
The attraction he had felt towards him on the day of the race came crashing back as he felt the hard lines of Jinwoos muscular body through his clothes.  
“I'm sure. I'll make sure he pays me over time.”  
“I don't have any mor-”  
Myungjun placed a hand over Jinwoos mouth to silence him. He didn't seem to be very good at taking hints, or at least he was extremely slow to.  
Myungjun smiled sweetly at Donghan, but his eyes clearly told Donghan to leave.  
“Fine. Come and find me when you're finished.” Donghan sighed.

Without his protection, Myungjun felt vulnerable, but he wouldn't dare show that to Jinwoo. Not here. Not in his place of work. Not in the place where he was supposed to be at his strongest, his most confident, his most seductive. In this moment Myungjun was in charge, and the feeling of power that it gave him made him feel like he could understand Jinwoo a little better already. The taste of power was addicting and he wanted more.  
So he led Jinwoo to one of the booths, using the expressive eyes he usually hid behind his fringe and glasses to pull Jinwoo further under his control. It seemed to be working as Jinwoo slumped down on one of the red leather sofas in the booth looking mesmerised all over again.  
Myungjun let his robe slip down to rest as his elbows. He heard a quiet groan from behind him and giggled, the same thought playing over and over again in his head.  
_Jinwoo is attracted to me._  
The frown forming on Jinwoos lips made those thoughts come to a grinding halt.  
_Don't panic._  
“You don't have to worry. I won't really make you pay overtime.” Myungjun groaned internally. “I saw that you handed me the last of your money. It was so sweet I couldn't help myself.”  
The frown started to disappear.  
_Nice save_.  
Myungjun decided the best way to save this was to dance. It was what he was good at. He let his hips move first, syncing up with the soft and sensual music playing out of the speakers.  
“Did you like my dancing?”  
A bead of sweat rolled down Jinwoos forehead. His jaw was clenched so tightly Myungjun was sure he could hear the grinding of his teeth.  
He was making THE Park Jinwoo sweat.  
“I can dance for you again if you like.” Myungjun purred, his confidence growing by the second as he watched Jinwoo watch him. “But you have to follow my rules. You can look but you can't touch.”  
In this club, in this booth, Myungjun was in charge. Jinwoo had always touched him whenever he wanted before. Now Jinwoo would have to wait for Myungjuns permission to lay his hands on him.  
Myungjun let the robe fall away completely, hyper aware of how exposed he was. The feeling only excited him more and the excitement grew as Jinwoo growled low in his throat.  
“Fuck get over here.”  
Jinwoo reached out to grab him.  
Instinctively, Myungjun flinched away, but covered the movement up smoothly a second later with a side step and a noise of disapproval. He wanted to scold Jinwoo with words but he knew it wasn't likely the other would listen.  
_Don't stop dancing_.  
Myungjun punished his behaviour with his body instead, teasing him with flashes of his pretty underwear until it looked like Jinwoo was likely to snap again.  
Myungjun crossed the booth to put some distance between them and climbed onto the other sofa. He rarely danced with props so he had no idea what to do but as his eyes flickered back to the the other sofa, he noticed the obvious tent at the front of Jinwoos jeans and his body began to move on its own.  
_Jinwoo is attracted to me. Jinwoo is sexually attracted to me._.  
Myungjun bit his lip and buried his face in his arms feeling hot liquid desire pool in his stomach. He wanted Jinwoo to move, to cross the room towards him, to reach out and slide his panties down his thighs, to-  
Myungjun whimpered quietly at the turn his thoughts had taken and it was only then that he realised the position his body had put him in. Face down, ass up. It was lewd and Myungjun was suddenly overcome with embarrassment.  
He lept of the sofa and covered himself, and the ache in between his own legs, with his robe. Myungjun giggled nervously as he looked over at his client.  
Because that's all Jinwoo was supposed to be right now. A client. And Myungjun had to play his part perfectly to the end.  
Jinwoo looked irritated.  
“Did you not like my dance this time?” Myungjun asked him, wondering if he'd taken things too far. Maybe he'd misread the whole situation. Maybe Jinwoo wasn't actually attracted to him after all.  
Jinwoo breathed out heavily through his nose. “I'm hard. Aren't you going to do anything about it?”  
_Aren't you going to do anything about it?_  
_Me? A guy?_  
_Park Jinwoo is attracted to me. Park Jinwoo isn't straight._  
The words Myungjun forced out of his mouth were barely audible to himself over the roaring of blood in his ears. His nerves were on fire.  
“I'm a dancer, nothing more. Plus, I gave you this dance for free remember. Be grateful.” Myungjun gave one last automatic shred of fan service before slipping outside of the booth and racing as fast as he could across the club to the staff room. He hammered on the door until someone opened up and he pushed his way inside, squeaking out an apology.  
“Myungjun?” Donghan sounded concerned as he went to stand up from his seat.  
Myungjun didn't let him. He just dived straight into his lap and whined loudly into Donghans muscled chest.  
“Why? Why is he attracted to me now? Why did I have those thoughts about him? Why is this so complicated?” Myungjuns words were muffled by the material of Donghans shirt but he seemed to understand well enough.  
“You have a crush on that client?”  
Myungjun whined impossibly louder. “I hate myself. And I hate my stupid dick.”  
Donghan stilled. “...Please don't tell me you have a boner right now.”  
“...I'm sorry.”

~

“You're back again.” Myungjun teased.  
Jinwoos eyes roamed his body up and down. “It appears I am.”  
The tension between them was so thick Myungjun was sure he could have cut it with a knife. It didn't help that Jinwoo looked _delicious_ today. The gang leader seemed to have made more of an effort with his appearance, and butterflies erupted in Myungjuns stomach at the thought that maybe Jinwoo had made the effort to impress _him_.  
“Aren't you going to ask for your tip?”  
“Usually I don't have to ask.” Myungjun answered. “People tip me when they enjoy my dancing enough to part with their hard earned cash on their own accord.”  
“I enjoyed your dancing.”  
“Are you waiting for me to ask?”  
Jinwoo smiled. He'd never smiled at Myungjun in such a way before. Like they were close enough to share a private joke. Were they?  
Jinwoo pulled his wallet out and opened it up. It was empty save for a few coupons. He pulled one out and handed it over.  
It was for a free coffee.  
Myungjun giggled at the absurdity of it. The fearsome leader of Mortem carried around coupons for free coffee.  
“Don't you like coffee?” Jinwoo asked.  
“I do.” Myungjun passed the little slip of paper back to Donghan. “Donghan you can take a break now. Don't use my coupon though or I'll kill you.”  
Donghan made a small noise of amusement before nodding politely and leaving them alone.  
Jinwoo was eyeing Myungjun curiously when he turned back around.  
“What is it?” Myungjun asked.  
“He's not just your bodyguard is he?”  
“What makes you say that?”  
“I don't know anyone else who would threaten their protection with death over a cup of caffeine.”  
Myungjun snorted out the ugliest laugh and gasped in shock, covering his mouth. That was _not_ how a camellia was supposed to act.  
“I'm sorry. That wasn't very professional of me.”  
“I don't mind. You have a nice laugh.”  
Myungjun was glad he was wearing heavier make-up than usual. His cheeks felt much too hot. But he composed himself quickly.  
“Are you flirting with me Mr Park?”  
“That depends. Are you- wait. How do you know my name?”  
Myungjun froze. Had Jinwoo not introduced himself yet? No. Of course not. They'd only just 'met' the previous night after all. He scolded himself for the slip up.  
“Did you ask about me or something?” Jinwoo asked with narrowed eyes full of suspicion.  
Myungjun grabbed onto the excuse with both hands.  
“Yes! I umm...asked the doormen about you. Because, you know, you have to show your ID.”  
_Be more professional you idiot._  
Myungjun smiled shyly and reached out to trail a finger down Jinwoos chest, feeling the hard ridges to his muscles beneath his shirt.  
“I wanted to know your name in case we ever met again. But I must admit, I didn't expect it to be so soon.”  
Jinwoos expression was unreadable. “Neither did I. But like I said, I liked your dancing.”  
Myungjun wanted to ask if that was all he liked, but something in the back of his mind was telling him that now wasn't the right time to flirt.  
A tap on Myungjuns shoulder made him jump and he looked round to see that Donghan was back. Donghan bent all the way down to whisper in his ear.  
“You have a client in booth eight in five minutes.”  
“Right now?” Myungjun hissed back. “I thought I didn't have any private dances booked for today!”  
“It was a last minute booking. The woman's paying double.”  
Myungjun sighed. He couldn't say no to that kind of money.  
So, with reluctance, he turned to Jinwoo smiling apologetically. “I'm afraid I have to go. Thank you for the tip. I'll definitely use it.”  
“Ahh...sure.” Jinwoo stuffed his hands into his pockets and left.  
Feeling slightly deflated, Myungjun went to get ready for his surprise client.  
He wasn't sure he'd ever see Jinwoo here again now. Jinwoo hadn't looked at all convinced with Myungjuns stammered excuse about the knowing of his name and he hadn't looked at all happy either as he stalked away from them.

But despite Myungjuns concerns, Jinwoo did come back. He came back every single night to watch Myungjun dance, sometimes tipping in cash and other times tipping in more coupons that were always for a free coffee. Jinwoo was Myungjuns only client who paid in such a way but Myungjun didn't mind. He really did like coffee and stopped for it often after school.  
He never thought too much about it until one of the baristas asked him; “Why do you have so many coupons? The magazines you got them from cost more than a cup of our coffee you know. So unless you're an avid reader you're wasting your money.”  
The next time Jinwoo handed over a coupon Myungjun decided to ask about it.  
“Do you like reading magazines?”  
Jinwoo looked up confused from his seat on one of the red leather sofas in private booth three. “What?”  
Myungjun repeated what the barista had said to him and was surprised to see Jinwoo looking embarrassed.  
“Aren't you going to dance?” Jinwoo asked sharply instead of answering. “I didn't come here to talk about shitty coupons.”  
Myungjun frowned. There was no way in hell he was going to let Jinwoos bad attitude slide here. In this booth, in this club, Myungjun was in charge.  
For the first time ever, Myungjun kept his robe firmly on his body.  
“I'm sorry.” Myungjun said, smiling sweetly at him. “But I only dance for clients who treat me with respect.” Myungjun turned on his heel and left.

The next night, Jinwoo came in looking almost ashamed.  
Myungjun ignored him for the entirety of his performance. He'd made a special effort with his lingerie this time around, because if Jinwoo were to turn up, Myungjun had wanted to make him regret his terrible attitude even more.  
It seemed to be working.  
As Myungjuns performance came to an end, he bowed and scanned the crowd, throwing winks and blowing kisses where he felt it appropriate until his eyes fell on Jinwoo.  
There was a greed on Jinwoos face as he looked over Myungjuns red and black flowery corset, and clear desire as his eyes moved down to the black suspenders holding up Myungjuns fishnet thigh highs.  
Myungjun held back his smirk as he walked over to the side of the stage, making sure to give Jinwoo specifically a clear view of his backside. Donghan engulfed Myungjuns waist in his giant hands and helped him down.  
Donghan helped to fix his hair and make-up and handed him his robe as he spoke.  
“As expected, the corset restrained some of your movements but the new routine we came up with helped to minimise the drawbacks of that. You missed a couple of steps too but overall you did well.”  
Myungjun breathed out in relief. “Good. I was worried that I was moving too stiffly. But I really did want to wear this today. Its pretty.”  
“Everyone else thinks you look pretty too. Even Mr Lover Boy over there is drooling into his glass.”  
Myungjun elbowed Donghan in the ribs as they made their way towards the crowd. “Stop calling him that! His name is Jinwoo.” Myungjun hissed under his breath before allowing his camellia persona to take over.  
“You look absolutely stunning today.”  
“Who tailors your outfits? You _must_ tell me.”  
“Here. I didn't get to tip you last week so I'll give you a little extra.”  
“A beautiful routine, as expected.”  
Myungjun soaked up the compliments and graciously excepted all of his tips with thanks. He gave a little more fan service to his regular clients and the ones who paid the most before excusing himself and approaching Jinwoo.  
However, Myungjun didn't stop walking. He wanted to show Jinwoo that he wasn't easily disrespected so when Jinwoo opened his mouth to speak, Myungjun breezed right past him and carried on towards the staff room.  
Five seconds later...  
“Wait!”  
Myungjun paused, wiping the victorious smile from his face and replacing it with a cool, almost icy, mask before turning to face him.  
Donghan held out a protective hand when Jinwoo came too close, forcing the other to a stop.  
“Mr Park.” Myungjun greeted him with a polite nod of his head. “Did you come to tip me?”  
Jinwoo swallowed. He looked nervous.  
“No- I mean _yes_ , but I didn't come here just for that.”  
Myungjun raised an eyebrow in his direction and waited.  
Jinwoo swallowed again before looking away. He scratched awkwardly at the back of his neck. His words came out mumbled.  
“Look, I'm sorry for being a dick okay? I shouldn't...I shouldn't have spoken to you like that. It was wrong.”  
Myungjun had been hoping for an apology. But an apology of this magnitude? He was stunned. The surprise must have been clear on his face because when Jinwoo looked back at him he grimaced.  
“Is it really that surprising that I apologised? Your expectations of me must be pretty low.”  
_I guess you could say that._ Myungjun cleared his throat. “Not at all.” He finally allowed himself to smile. “Well? Are you going to tip me or not? I'm a busy person you know.”  
Jinwoos face fell. “You don't have time for me today?”  
Myungjun had plenty of time. He pretended to think about it.  
“I'll pay overtime.” Jinwoo blurted out. “What's the rate for that anyway? Double? Triple? I just got paid today so I can afford it.”  
The way he fidgeted under Myungjuns gaze made Myungjuns stomach flip. He realised that Jinwoo could actually be rather cute.  
He pretended to consult with Donghan about his schedule before turning to Jinwoo with a small sigh. “I suppose I can squeeze you in. But you'll have to pay me triple.”  
Myungjun had made more than enough money tonight, and he still had two private dances later on that would pay even more, but he wanted to test Jinwoos sincerity.  
“That's fine.” Jinwoo said looking relieved. “Are you free now or...?”  
_Just a little longer._  
“I'll be free in ten minutes. Feel free to grab yourself another drink at the bar. I heard there's a special offer today on cocktails.”  
“Can I buy you a drink?” Jinwoo asked hurriedly. “What do you like?”  
Myungjun pouted. “I can't drink alcohol when I'm working. But I'll take a virgin sex on the beach if you're offering.”  
Jinwoos jaw went slack.  
Myungjun giggled. “Its a cocktail Jinwoo. Get your mind out of the gutter.”  
“I knew that.” Jinwoo spluttered defiantly before turning on his heel and storming away towards the bar.  
“You're evil you know that right?” Donghan laughed as they entered the staff room. “I've never seen this side of you before. It's quite the turn on actually.”  
Myungjun giggled and skipped over to his bag. “Its fun to tease. Try not to fall in love with me dingdong.”  
“I could never fall in love with someone as irritating as you.”  
Myungjun grabbed his wash-bag and blew Donghan a kiss before skipping to the toilets to refresh his image. Jinwoos apology plus the thought of how much money he was going to walk away with tonight had boosted Myungjuns mood to new heights.  
He was humming happily as he washed the sweat from his body. He was humming happily as he applied a fresh layer of floral lotion to his skin. He was humming happily as he opened the box that contained his new branded perfume.  
The perfume had been expensive, something Myungjun would have never considered buying before he started working at the Camellia, but now that he had the money he'd decided he could splurge a little.  
The perfume smelled like sunshine in a bottle. If sunshine had a smell that is.  
Myungjun used it sparingly before packing it away and finding his toothbrush. He had a separate toothbrush and a tiny tube of minty toothpaste that he brought to work in a little travel case to make sure that his mouth was always clean. He knew that there was nothing worse than coming face to face with someone whose breath had a bad odour.  
When he was finished, Myungjun went back out to retouch his hair and makeup.  
The clock told him he was five minutes late to see Jinwoo.  
Perfect.  
“Dingdong lets go.” Myungjun sung happily, pulling his robe back on and dancing to the door.  
Donghan grumbled something unsavoury under his breath but followed him out all the same.  
Jinwoo had been watching the staff room door but quickly turned away when Myungjun stepped out.  
_He's so cute._ Myungjun squealed inside. _I can't believe Park Jinwoo can be cute. I'm learning more about him every day._  
Myungjun looked up at Donghan. “Go and send Mr Park to booth five.”  
Donghan bowed, accepting the order and strode over to the bar.  
Myungjun made his way to the booth first. He wanted to pick the music before Jinwoo got there. Part of him wanted to push this further, to make Jinwoo suffer just that little bit more. The devil on his shoulder told him to pick something sensual. The saint on the opposing shoulder told him that he'd teased Jinwoo enough.  
Myungjun sighed and picked up the tablet as he entered the booth, swiping through the playlists for something classical.  
The soft piano notes started to spill out of the sleek, dark speaker in the corner of the booth and all of the muscles in Myungjuns body immediately relaxed. He placed the tablet back down on the table just as Jinwoo slipped inside.  
Jinwoo was carrying two identical drinks in their cocktail glasses and held one out for Myungjun to take.  
Myungjun accepted it with a smile and sipped at the fruity liquid. “So you wanted sex on the beach too?”  
Jinwoo choked on his drink.  
Myungjun giggled and gestured for him to take a seat.  
When Jinwoo was seated, Myungjun moved to sit on the red leather sofa opposite him but Jinwoo made a small noise of protest. “Come and sit on this sofa with me. I don't like it when you sit so far away.” Jinwoo shuffled all the way up to the end, leaving a wide gap for Myungjun to sit down.  
Myungjun got comfortable at the other end, body angled towards his client with his feet tucked under him and his drink in hand.  
“I don't often get to rest at work like this.” Myungjun sighed happily.  
“Do you like working here?”  
“Very much. My boss is very kind and generous, I get along with all of my co-workers and I get to wear what I want, when I want.”  
Jinwoos eyes roamed Myungjuns body again, pausing at the sliver of thigh that was peeking out of the folds of Myungjuns robe.  
“You look really good today.” Jinwoos voice came out husky.  
Myungjun held back a shiver at the sound. Jinwoos voice was already deep enough to drown in, so whenever it took on a huskier tone it was almost impossible to resist.  
Myungjun liked to imagine the things Jinwoo could say to him with a voice like that.  
_Kiss me Myungjun._  
_Take off your clothes._  
_Let me see what's under those pretty little panties of yours._  
It was easy to get carried away. Especially laying in bed at night after spending time with Jinwoo just hours before, dancing for him as the dizzying scent of Jinwoos cologne filled the booth, being subjected to the intoxicating sounds of Jinwoos groans of restrained pleasure every time Myungjun did something more risky with his body.  
Myungjun had never allowed Jinwoo to touch him when he was dancing, but he always imagined that he could feel Jinwoos touches upon him as his body moved.  
The sound of Jinwoos voice, the scent of Jinwoos skin, the thoughts of Jinwoos rough hands on his body; the combination made it impossible for Myungjun to sleep if he thought about them too much and on more than one occasion he'd had to turn to self-pleasure to silence his mind.  
It was those particular nights when Myungjun realised that he'd never been more attracted to a person in his life, not even Donghan, and that left a bittersweet taste in his mouth.  
“Thank you.” Myungjun replied to Jinwoos compliment with a shy smile. He took another sip of his drink. His throat felt dry. “You always look good every time I see you Mr Park.”  
“You don't have to call me that you know. Jinwoo is just fine.”  
“Okay...Jinwoo.”  
Jinwoo looked satisfied. “And what about you? Won't you tell me your name?”  
“Its against the clubs rules for its members to give out personal information.” Myungjun had never felt more grateful towards The Camellias rules. He knew that if Jinwoo ever found out who he really was, he would most likely run for the hills and never come back.  
Jinwoo didn't look happy. “You can tell me. I won't go running to your boss and get you into trouble.”  
“I believe you.” Myungjun replied, feeling pleasantly surprised that he meant those words. “However, I'm a good boy that plays by the rules.”  
“Rules are nothing more than a bunch of words strung together. Those words are dubbed 'rules' in an attempt to constrain you to the creators desired wishes and I, for one, refuse to be forced into submission.”  
Myungjuns eyebrows raised. “That's a very strong statement. Is that your way of telling me that you're a bad boy Park Jinwoo?”  
Jinwoo smirked. “Perhaps. But then again, we all have a bad side. And I'm sure that you're no exception.”  
Myungjun was startled to realise the space between them on the sofa had decreased. Who had moved first? He didn't know.  
He just cleared his throat, breaking the growing tension between them and moved back. Jinwoo seemed just as surprised to realise the change in their positions.  
“I'm an angel, one hundred percent.” Myungjun joked lightly. “So I have no bad side I'm afraid. I follow the rules and as the rules say I can't tell you my name, you should pick one for me instead.”  
“Flower.” Jinwoo answered immediately. “Because you always wear flowers in your hair...and flower cuffs on your ears...and flowers on your lingerie.”  
Myungjuns heart skipped a beat in his chest. “Flower?”  
“Do you not like it?” Jinwoo asked.  
“No. I...I love it.” Myungjun answered quietly. “It suits me perfectly. Will you call me that from now on?”  
Jinwoos smile made his eyes disappear into crescents. Myungjun couldn't help but smile back.  
“I'll call you that until the day you tell me your real name.”  
Myungjun forced his smile to stay on his face. “I've finished my drink. Would you like to watch me dance now? Remember you're paying me triple.”  
“Only if you take off that robe.”  
Myungjun giggled as he climbed to his feet. “As you wish Mr Pa- Jinwoo.”  
Jinwoo sat back, throwing his arms over the back of the sofa looking the picture of ease. His eyes darkened as Myungjun let the robe fall.

~

“Maybe you should stay home tonight. You need to study for your upcoming exams.” Myungjuns mother suggested as she spooned more food onto his plate.  
Myungjun whined unhappily as he looked down at the portion she had given him. “Mama I can't eat all this, I'll get fat!”  
His father laughed. “You dance too much to get fat. We hardly see you any more as you're always at the studio! You need all the food you can get to keep your energy up.”  
Myungjun pouted as he ate. He'd been working on a couple of special outfits at Donghans apartment over the last fortnight, and he knew he had to maintain his current figure to fit into them. All of these calories was putting his hard work in danger.  
He wished they had a pet dog, so that he could secretly feed it his food under the table when his parents weren't looking like Minhyuk did whenever Myungjun went to his house for dinner and his father was cooking. That man's cooking left a lot to be desired but their big, fluffy dog seemed to enjoy it enough.  
Myungjun ate half of what was on his plate before pushing it away.  
“I'm sorry Mama but I really am full.”  
She sighed fussily and shooed him away, shouting after him on his way out of the front door that he needed to study when he came home from school.  
Myungjun shut the door behind himself and hurried to catch his bus.  
All the long days and nights he'd been doing had finally started to catch up with him and he could no longer get up early enough in the morning to make his journey to school on foot.  
The bus was now his new best friend, even if it was always crowded.  
When he finally reached his stop, he rushed through the school gates and into the school to find his locker. He never knew what classes he had on any given day as his mind was too preoccupied with other things to memorize his timetable. He prayed everyday that he had good classes and most days his prayers were answered but the second he opened his locker, and his eyes landed on the piece of paper taped to the inside of the door, he groaned unhappily.  
Today was the day of the week where he had two hours of sports first thing in the morning. A literal waking nightmare. Myungjun grabbed the duffel full of his gym wear from the bottom of his locker and slammed the door shut.  
He had a fifteen minute registration period with his class to mentally prepare himself for the hell that was about to ensue.  
Those fifteen minutes were never enough.  
When the teacher called his name from the register, Myungjun answered half-heartedly and flushed when he heard Byungchul mocking him from across the room.  
He hurried out of the class the second they were dismissed and raced down to the boys changing rooms in the hopes of being changed and gone before Byungchul arrived.  
If there was one thing worse than being in the same room as Byungchul, it was being in the same room as him in nothing but his underwear.  
It was never a pleasant experience.  
Luck was on his side today. No-one else seemed to be as eager as him to get to class early, so he was able to get changed and find a suitable locker to store his school uniform in.  
The gym teacher, a stern looking ex-military, looked surprised to see him, especially when it was obvious that Myungjun loathed the subject, but made no comment about it and just sent him outside to warm up on the track.  
Myungjun wished he could just run laps for the entire two hours. That would be easier than literally anything else the coach could come up with.  
“Oh, by the way, we're going to be joined by another class today.” The man called out to Myungjuns retreating back.  
Myungjun cursed under his breath. Another class held the possibility of more of his bullies. It was bad enough dealing with Byungchul and the two others from his class.  
Worst case scenario; the other class was home to other members of Mortem. They seemed to grow in power and ferocity when they were together and even adding one more of them into the mix would spell almost certain doom for him.  
Myungjun was already feeling short of breath by the time he made it outside but he pushed the panic away and set off around the field at a light jog.  
He was on his second lap when more bodies filled the tracks and he peered closely through his fringe at them, trying to figure out which class they belonged to.  
One girl in particular made Myungjuns breath catch in his throat.  
He knew her. He'd seen her before. He knew which class she belonged to.  
“Jinwoo!” She cried happily, racing towards the figure who appeared at the edge of the track, looking just as handsome as ever in his gym wear.  
Jinwoo acknowledged her before setting off. She looked disappointed and confused at the reaction and Myungjun couldn't blame her.  
Just the day before she had been hanging off of Jinwoos arm, and Myungjun had watched as Jinwoo climbed into her car at the end of school amidst cat calls and whistles from the other members of his gang who were present.  
And now, just the day after, Jinwoo was giving her the cold shoulder.  
But then Myungjun knew she should have expected that outcome because Jinwoo had a reputation for doing that sort of thing.  
Once every few months, Jinwoo would pick a new girl to disappear with for the night, they'd hook up and then he'd ditch them the next day. And even though the girls knew what he was like, they never said no when Jinwoo approached them. Whether that was because of the fact they hoped that things would be different for them, or because of the rumour that Jinwoo was great in bed, Myungjun didn't know.  
Either way he didn't care. Or at least he never _used_ to care.

At first, Myungjun had looked the other way when he saw Jinwoo cozying up to the schools females, just writing it off as behaviour he could expect from Mortems gang leader, who should surely be surrounded by a harem of them given his reputation.  
But now it just made him feel uncomfortable. Myungjun had watched him get into that girls car yesterday, and had then seen Jinwoo again that very same night when he'd turned up at his usual time at The Camellia. Myungjun had nearly asked him why he needed to visit the club when he had girls to entertain him but caught himself just in time. He knew it was childish, and that he had no right to an input on Jinwoos love life, but it still upset him whether he liked it or not.  
This routine of Jinwoos, of hooking up with random girls every so often, was the only thing that kept Myungjuns delusions of Jinwoo maybe liking him at bay.  
When they were alone in those booths at the club, it was easy to convince himself that Jinwoo was interested in more than just his body. The way Jinwoo looked at him, the way he spoke to him, the way that he was the real, authentic Jinwoo around him, always managed to make Myungjun consider the possibility that Jinwoo regarded him as something more than just a dancer he threw money at for fun.  
But then back at school, back in the harsh reality of the real world, Myungjun was reminded every so often of the fact that Jinwoo slept around, and never more than once with the same person.  
It was another reason why Myungjun never let Jinwoo touch him when they were alone. He knew the attraction they felt towards each others bodies could only lead to one thing, and Myungjun had a nasty feeling in the pit of his stomach that he wouldn't be an exception to Jinwoos one night stands. It was a risk he wasn't willing to take.

Myungjuns mind was preoccupied with those depressing thoughts for the rest of the two hour period.  
On the bright side, he was barely even mindfully present for the horrific torture the gym teacher put them through, more commonly known as basketball. He just stayed back, moving every so often so the teacher couldn't call him out for not doing anything, knowing full well that no-one in his team would pass him the ball anyway.  
But, unfortunately, what did get his undivided attention was a certain basketball god who was the main cause of his distracted state in the first place.  
Jinwoo scored point after point as if the task were as easy as breathing. The excited screams of his female admirers and the hooting cheers of Mortem seemed to spur him on and he tore up the court, switching between expressions of laughter and seriousness.  
The exertion his body went through made him sweat and that was _not_ helping Myungjun in the slightest.  
Sweat, fundamentally, was disgusting. Myungjun was always rushing to shower after his dance classes with Minhyuk and Donghan and he always made sure to be extra clean and sweat free at work.  
But sweat on Park Jinwoo? Something else entirely. _Especially_ when it was making his shirt cling to his muscular back, and when it forced him to sweep his damp hair back from his forehead time and time again, revealing his handsome, glistening face in all of its glory.  
But worst of all was when the game finally finished, and the sweat forced Jinwoos top from his body, leaving his chiselled torso exposed for everyone to swoon over.  
Myungjun couldn't stop staring. And he was also finding it hard to breathe. He'd never seen Jinwoo topless before. There was no reason why he should have either. He didn't ever have gym class with Jinwoo. In fact, he was pretty sure that this was the first time their classes had ever merged like this.  
Even during sporting events Jinwoo never removed his shirt.  
Did Myungjun understand why he had suddenly decided to remove it today? No.  
But was Myungjun complaining?...Also no.  
When the class was dismissed, Myungjun followed behind Jinwoo and his friends in a daze of sorts. He was mindful enough to keep a fair distance between them, but he was still close enough to watch all the ways Jinwoos muscles rippled under his skin as he moved and messed around with his gang.  
Myungjun couldn't even tear his eyes away as he got changed after his quick shower. Jinwoo came out of the showers a few minutes after him with a towel wrapped around his waist and another in his hand that he was using to dry his hair into a state of damp fluffiness.  
Myungjun wanted to run his fingers through it.  
He also wanted to run his fingers along all of the dips in Jinwoos beautifully crafted abdominal muscles.  
Suddenly Jinwoo looked up, directly at him, as if he'd felt Myungjun staring. Myungjuns body flooded with embarrassment at getting caught and he quickly looked down at the white shirt he had been absent-mindedly buttoning up all wrong.  
“...staring at that fag for?”  
Myungjun tensed at Byungchuls venomous voice.  
“I wasn't.” Jinwoo growled back. “He was staring at me.”  
_Oh no. Oh no no no._  
Myungjun started to stuff the rest of his school uniform into his bag. He could always finish getting changed elsewhere. He just needed to get out of here _now_ before Byungchul started. Because when Byungchul started, Jinwoo started. And Myungjun hated seeing the fear and hatred in Jinwoos eyes during those times.  
Especially when those eyes would look at Myungjun in a completely different way later on in the day when Jinwoo came to watch him dance.  
Myungjuns bag was ripped from his hands and he yelped as he was turned and slammed back into the lockers.  
Byungchul was looking down at him, nostrils flaring in his anger.  
“They shouldn't let freaks like you get changed in here with us!”  
The entire changing room fell silent and Myungjun felt his eyes fill with tears as the shame and embarrassment at what he'd done threatened to choke him.  
“I-I'm sorry. I didn't-”  
Byungchul spat straight in his face.  
Myungjun had never been spat on before. This was a new low.  
“Fuck, Chul, don't be so disgusting.”  
Jinwoos voice just made Myungjun tremble even more.  
Byungchul let Myungjun go and turned to face his leader with a scowl.  
“He's the disgusting one! Fucking perving on you whilst you're getting dressed. Wouldn't be surprised if the little bitch got a hard on with the eyeful he was getting.” Byungchul spun back to look at Myungjun with a manic look in his eyes. “Lets see shall we?”  
Rough hands shot down towards Myungjuns trousers and he cried out in fear, smacking the hands away. It was purely reflexive. But it was also the biggest wrong move Myungjun could have made. He should have just let Byungchul yank his trousers down for everyone to see, because the situation was far too scary to be sexy, so any sort of arousal he'd been feeling whilst looking at Jinwoos exposed body before had disappeared completely now.  
Instead, Myungjun had struck the one person he knew that held no sort of remorse when inflicting pain on others.  
So when the fist swung for his face, Myungjun just closed his eyes and tried to brace himself. It didn't help much. The blow hit him on the cheekbone, knocking him sideways into the open door of his locker. Something hard hit him in the chest and he fell backwards for a second into nothingness. The impact with the walls of metal was jarring.  
“Perverts like you get locked in cells.” Byungchul hissed. “Unfortunately all we have are these lockers, but it should give you a taste of what you'll get if we ever catch you staring at one of us again.”  
The door slammed shut, plunging Myungjun into darkness. When the sound of a key turning in the lock reached Myungjuns ears he panicked. But the protest that slipped out of his lips was weak. The wind had been completely knocked out of his lungs and for the second time that day he was finding it hard to breathe.

Myungjun didn't know how long he spent crying in the grimy, dusty locker, but the sobs immediately ceased when he heard movement from outside.  
He sniffled. “Hello? Can you get the teacher for me please? I'm stuck.”  
The three bars of light filtering through the slits in the top of the metal door blackened, as if someone were standing outside. Metal scraped against metal as the key searched for the lock. The sound of it turning flooded Myungjun with relief.  
The footsteps receded as Myungjun struggled to his feet, and they were gone completely when he pushed open the door.  
But the smell of cologne lingered in his rescuers wake.  
“ _Jinwoo_?”

~

It was inevitable really, after all the mental pressure he had been under, that Myungjun would just one day snap.  
He never expected it to be so soon though.  
It had felt like only yesterday when he'd first seen Jinwoo at the Camellia, who had been staring at him with eyes full of wonder and desire as Myungjun danced in his first real set of lingerie.  
The nights that followed that one had sent Myungjuns life barrelling down a new course at a speed unimaginable.  
Suddenly Park Jinwoo wasn't just a half-hearted bully shrouded in mystery. He was a funny, flirty, _interesting_ man whose laughter and sometimes unsure behaviour made the word 'cute' pop up in Myungjuns mind unannounced. The absurdity of the word, when aimed toward someone of Jinwoos image, never failed to make Myungjun laugh. But that was Jinwoo. That and more.  
Park Jinwoo was the person who pushed through to the front of the crowd to watch him dance, but always lingered at the back to steal all of Myungjuns attention at the end. He was the person who greeted Myungjun the exact same way every night he was working; 'Hello my beautiful flower. Aren't you going to ask for your tip?', their very own inside joke. He was the person who then paid Myungjuns tip in those ridiculous free coffee coupons he cut out of magazines from god knows where because Myungjun had once told him that he liked the caffeinated beverage. He was the person whose desire saturated gaze and quiet groans of satisfaction, as Myungjun danced for him and him alone, made Myungjuns body and confidence blaze. He was the person whose presence alone made the blood sing in Myungjuns veins and whose voice, scent and stature made Myungjuns head spin.  
He was the person who had stolen Myungjuns heart without him even knowing it.  
Park Jinwoo was all of the people and more. A lot more.

So why did Park Jinwoo have to do this to him? Why did _he_ have to be the one to push Myungjun over the edge?  
Maybe he was the only one who really had the power to do so. The only one with enough control over Myungjuns heart and mind to render him completely and utterly broken.  
Myungjun didn't know for sure.  
All he knew was that the deep gash staring back at him in the mirror on the bridge of his nose was the final straw.  
How long had it been since he'd started living this double life, allowing Jinwoo to steal his heart during the late hours of the night and thinking that it made up for the pain he and his gang caused him during the day?  
The thought made him sick.  
He had to do something. He couldn't live in this lie any longer. It was too painful, too suffocating, _too much_.  
He thought he could handle it. He thought that there was enough of a distinction between the fake Jinwoo at school and the real Jinwoo inside their private booths. But there wasn't. Jinwoo only allowed himself to be real inside of that tiny space because outside of it was a world he was struggling to fit into too. And where Myungjun chose to live the hard life in order to be who he truly was, Jinwoo chose the easy way out and hid behind his fists.  
Even if it meant hurting the one person in school who was most likely to accept and understand him.  
And Myungjun was so, so tired of being that person.  
It was time to end this once and for all before he really did break into irreparable pieces.

~

“What the fuck happened to your nose?” Donghan asked horrified as Myungjun entered the staff room. He rushed over to cradle Myungjuns face in his hands.  
The tears were slipping out of Myungjuns eyes before he could stop them.  
“I want to take a break from work for a while.” Myungjun whispered. “But please help me one last time. Make me look pretty. Just don't touch my face. It needs to stay exactly how it looks right now.”  
“But you can't get up on stage like this!” Donghan protested.  
“I won't be going up on stage. I'm going straight to the booths. I only plan on seeing Jinwoo tonight so you don't have to worry about me scaring away the clientele. Please Donghan, no more questions. My head hurts. Just let me do this. I-I have to do this.”  
Donghan looked conflicted but finally agreed with a sharp nod of his head.  
Myungjun felt a tiny flutter of relief. “Let me get changed first. I want to wear the first ever set of lingerie I ever made, the dress with the flowers. Can you bring it to the changing cubicle for me?”

Myungjun sat in the dark of the booth. He'd turned off all of the lights at the thought of the look on Jinwoos face when he finally revealed the truth. He didn't want to see the expression Jinwoos face would twist into. The betrayal, the hatred, the disgust. Myungjun was terrified.  
It was strange though, because the second the heavy curtain started to flutter, and Jinwoo stepped inside, all Myungjun felt was relief. Relief that he was here.  
“Jinwoo.” Myungjun breathed out shakily.  
“Why is it so dark in here?”  
Myungjun had already prepared a candle and a box of matches. He knew he couldn't avoid the light altogether. Jinwoo had no idea what was to come of course; he was only expecting to see him. So Myungjun knew he wouldn't be happy with an exchange made in the dark.  
_Even now I'm still thinking of him first_.  
The match was struck, the candle lit and it took exactly four seconds for Jinwoo to gasp and race to his side.  
Myungjuns heart gave a painful thump in his chest as Jinwoos hands copied Donghans gentle cradling from before.  
Jinwoo wasn't allowed to touch him in the booths. The contact burned.  
“What happened?” Jinwoo asked angrily. “Who did this to you? One of your customers? Someone in your dance class? Tell me now.”  
Hearing the anger and the concern in Jinwoos voice was too much. It just served to make Myungjun incredibly sad. The tears were falling again.  
Without warning, Myungjun was enveloped in a gentle embrace, the very hands that caused him pain just hours before stroked tenderly at his back, offering comfort and the promise of safety.  
Myungjuns tears turned to sobs and he reached between their bodies to clutch tightly at the front of Jinwoos shirt.  
_I can't do this._  
_I can't do this any more._  
_It hurts._  
“Please tell me who did this, which scumbag lay his hands on you.” Jinwoos whisper was desperate.  
Myungjun cried harder.  
“Please!” Jinwoo was begging now, his arms pulling Myungjun closer. “I can handle it for you. I'll make sure he never hurts you again I promise.”  
Myungjun had the strangest urge to laugh.  
“Let me protect you. Let me keep you safe. Let me-”  
Myungjun pulled away. The promise of protection and safety finally pushing him to act. Jinwoo couldn't protect him, and he couldn't keep him safe. Especially from himself.  
The words were like acid in Myungjuns mouth. “It was you.”  
_This is it. There's no going back now._  
Myungjun wrapped his arms around his chest, trying to keep himself in one piece as he started to break. “Jinwoo it was you.”  
Confusion. It was written all over Jinwoos face. “What? Of course it wasn't me. I'd never hurt you.”  
When Jinwoos hands reached for him Myungjun flinched away. Jinwoo was hurting him now more than ever with words alone. He couldn't let him touch him.  
“I thought I could do this. I thought I could carry on living this way but I can't.” Myungjun took a deep breath before uttering the words that would no doubt spell their end.  
“Jinwoo its me. It's Myungjun. Kim Myungjun.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you made it to the end of these 25k+ words...congrats.


	3. Myungjun The Flower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warning;  
> ~Smut~  
> I wrote actual sex for the first time and want to die.

Jinwoos jaw dropped.  
This was the first time in weeks he was seeing Myungjun at The Camellia, and it was safe to say he wasn't disappointed by Myungjuns comeback in the slightest.  
Jinwoo wasn't the only person who had missed the dancers hypnotic presence.  
A sea of the clubs patrons flocked around Myungjuns preferred stage, and tonight, to honour his return, it was the only stage occupied. The other dancers were mingling with the crowd instead, offering fan-service on the floor whilst Myungjun danced above them.  
The music he was dancing to was more upbeat than usual, and faster paced, so much so that he was working up a slight sweat with his sharper, stronger movements.  
But he never lost a shred of his sensuality.  
Jinwoo didn't know how Myungjun did it, but he always managed to capture the eyes, the heart and the desire of everyone in the room, man and woman.  
_He was born to be on stage_. Jinwoo thought to himself.

Not only was it his sensual dancing that caused Jinwoos mouth to hang open as if he were waiting to be fed a bite to eat from his lover, but it was Myungjuns attire too.  
Earlier that day, Jinwoo had seen Myungjun at school in a skirt and a pair of red, silk panties with flowers embroidered at his hips and had found that breathtaking enough. But now he feasted upon a sight even more alluring.  
Myungjuns hair was pulled back as usual to show his pretty face, with a crown of white roses nestled between the soft brown strands. Wisps of his hair had fallen loose and settled artfully against his forehead, bouncing gently as he danced.  
His lips and jewels were blood red, his fingernails and toenails painted blood red too as he danced barefoot. The red was a nice contrast to the rest of his outfit which was pure white like snow, matching with his roses.  
The first part of his outfit that had caught Jinwoos eyes were his shorts. They clung to him like a second skin, showcasing the mouthwatering curves that were barely hidden beneath. When Myungjun spun around, Jinwoo could see that they tied up at the back, patches of his beautiful skin peeking through the ties. With delicate frills around his thighs, the shorts gave something almost cute to Myungjuns appearance. The tiny halter top Myungjun was wearing, that ended just below his chest, leaving the rest of his torso completely exposed, matched perfectly with the shorts. The little crop also tied up at the back, with dainty frills running along the bottom, brushing against his ribcage.  
Draped over the top of his outfit was a completely sheer, white lingerie robe that hung off his shoulders and tied up with a strip of ribbon at his chest. Even though Jinwoo could see straight through it, it still gave the illusion of coverage.  
In short, Myungjun looked incredible and Jinwoo couldn't tear his eyes away even if he tried.

Jinwoo was standing more towards the back of the crowd this time around, after arriving late because of gang related business he had needed to attend to first, but every so often, even at this distance, their eyes would meet, Myungjuns dark gaze sending shivers down Jinwoos spine.  
The first time their eyes had met that night, Myungjuns step had faltered slightly in his dance, but he had regained his composure quickly like a true professional. Jinwoo guessed that Myungjun probably hadn't been expecting him to actually turn up tonight. Jinwoo wouldn't have missed it for anything though. He tried to convince himself that he felt that way only because he was worried about Myungjun after seeing him getting cornered in the toilets earlier that day, but he knew the real reason was something else entirely.  
Every time their eyes met after the first, Jinwoo was met with a gaze he was more used to seeing. It felt as if he were looking straight into the eyes of his flower again, seductive and confident.

All too soon Myungjuns dance came to an end. He bowed deeply and covered his face with his hands looking shy at the wild applause he received.  
Usually Myungjun was helped down from the stage immediately, but this time around he took his time making himself presentable again.  
His guard, Donghan, handed him a towel to wipe away the sweat he had built up and helped him to fix his make-up and his clothes.  
Jinwoo wasn't sure it was a guards job to fix their dancers appearance, but he'd already been led to believe that Myungjuns relationship with his personal security went deeper than the average working relationship.  
It didn't take long for Myungjun to look perfect again and Donghan took his hand to help him down from the stage and stuck more closely to him than usual as Myungjun headed into the sea of his fans.  
Jinwoo didn't want to wait around as he knew Myungjun would be kept busy by his other admirers for a while. He also knew that Myungjun would come to find him when he was finished.  
So Jinwoo went over to the bar to order a drink instead.

As he sipped at his overpriced beverage, away from Myungjuns hypnotising dancing and body, he was able to finally think somewhat clearly again.  
That wasn't necessarily a good thing.  
He was reminded of the fact that this was the first time he was seeing Myungjun at The Camellia knowing _exactly_ who he was, knowing that he was Myungjun the nerd, knowing that he was the guy Jinwoo had spent the last two years pushing around and making his life a misery.  
Jinwoo drank for the guilt, drank for the shame and drank for the regret. He was just thankful that he could hold his liquor because there was certainly a lot of each.  
With an angry growl, Jinwoo slammed his glass down and got up from his seat. There was no point wallowing in misery. It wouldn't change anything.  
_I need Myungjun. He'll distract me._

Jinwoo turned, getting ready to go on a hunt to find him, but came face to face with him straight away instead.  
Myungjun giggled at his surprised expression before backing away across the room, eyes flirty and full of mischief. He gestured for Jinwoo to follow him with a quirk of his finger and Jinwoo obeyed without question.  
Jinwoos mind was distracted instantaneously and completely, as he knew it would be.  
The person that danced away in front of him was no longer Myungjun the nerd, he was Jinwoos confident, sexy flower and Jinwoo had definitely missed him a lot.  
Instead of slipping straight inside one of the private booths like they usually did, Myungjun blocked Jinwoos path inside and clung to the thick, blood red curtain covering the entrance to the booth, mesmerising eyes sparkling in Jinwoos direction.  
“Aren't you going to tip me for my dance today?” Myungjun asked innocently, his bottom lip jutted out. “You seemed to be enjoying it but I guess not...”  
Jinwoo voluntarily fell into his trap. He wasn't one to admit when he found things cute, but the pout on the dancers lips was lethal, and he said as much as he emptied his wallet out.  
Myungjun giggled happily, accepting the money and tucking the notes into the top of his shorts. Jinwoo saw a flash of red and groaned. Myungjun was still wearing those damn panties.  
Jinwoo knew he wouldn't be able to control himself today but followed Myungjun into the booth all the same.

Myungjun stopped in the centre of the space, keeping his back to Jinwoo. Jinwoo approached him slowly, sensing something different about the atmosphere this time around. There was more tension than before and Jinwoo didn't know whether it was a good tension or not yet.  
So he decided to test it.  
His arms wound around Myungjuns slim waist from behind. When Myungjun didn't reject the advance, Jinwoo took it a step further, pressing up against Myungjuns back, letting Myungjun feel just how much he excited him, and buried his face into the soft skin of Myungjuns neck. A deep inhalation filled Jinwoos lungs with flowers and his hands wandered, slipping under the robe to find the soft, warm skin of Myungjuns stomach.  
Myungjun shivered and whimpered quietly.  
“This hurts me more than your punches ever did.” Myungjun whispered, turning around in Jinwoos arms to look at him properly. His eyes shone with vulnerability. His warm, minty breath tickled Jinwoos lips.  
Without warning, Myungjun surged forwards to kiss him, cutting off any reply that Jinwoo had been trying to form in his mind and stealing Jinwoos breath right out of his flowery lungs.  
Their first kiss. The first kiss Jinwoo had had in a long time.  
Jinwoo was too stunned to kiss him back straight away, but when his brain finally caught up with his body, something desperate and animalistic ignited inside of him. He pressed forwards and kissed Myungjun fiercely, their lips sliding together in another sensual dance, this time a dance of taste and sensation. As Jinwoos hand tangled in Myungjuns hair, the other pulled their hips together. Myungjun tasted better than Jinwoo could have ever possibly imagined and he forced his tongue past Myungjuns lips to taste him more deeply.  
Myungjuns hands tightened their grip on the front of Jinwoos shirt and he whimpered Jinwoos name. It was maddening.  
Jinwoo only broke the kiss when he could no longer breathe. His head was spinning and their heavy panting and gasps for air filled the booth, drowning out the sensual music pouring out of the stylish speaker standing in the corner.  
“Why? Why are you kissing me?” Jinwoo asked quietly when they'd both calmed down. “I treated you like shit. I've _hurt_ you and I've enjoyed it. So why? Why would you even want to? Don't you hate me?”  
Myungjun reached up hesitantly to place a hand on Jinwoos cheeks. The contact burned.  
“Did you know that you always looked so scared when you bullied me? You kept it well hidden but the emotion was there, in your eyes.”  
Jinwoo froze.  
“I always wondered why you were bullying me, and why you looked so frightened when doing so. And I think that question was answered when you first walked through these doors. I was startled to see you and even more startled when you picked me. You didn’t recognise me luckily, but most importantly you picked a _guy_. And that’s when I knew. You bully me because you’re just like me, except you’re not free to be yourself like I am. You’re trapped by this image you have to uphold in order to be feared and respected and you lash out because of it. And honestly...I feel sorry for you.”  
Jinwoo wanted to get angry at the psychoanalysis. He didn’t need anyone’s pity, and he _certainly_ did not want Myungjun of all people to pity him. But for some reason he couldn't explain, the anger just wouldn't materialise.  
“You want to know if I hate you?” Myungjun asked quietly.  
Jinwoo hesitated for a second. If Myungjun really did hate him, which he had every right to of course, then Jinwoo knew that everything would change between them. He wouldn't be able to come back here knowing he was despised.  
But if Myungjun didn't...  
Jinwoo nodded slowly.  
“Do you remember the first time we met? You got angry with me because I admitted I was gay in front of those bullies. You slammed me up against the wall and I got hurt. I was so angry and upset with you for interfering but then I saw your face...Jinwoo you looked terrified. Whether you were terrified for me or yourself I didn't know but I thought about your expression a lot after that. Then you started to bully me too. At the beginning I think maybe I did hate you, but as time went on I noticed something that made that feeling falter. The way you bullied me was different to the way the others did. I don't really know how to explain it but its like you weren't...as cruel as they were. Even compared to the rest of your gang you were different. Maybe you didn't realise it at the time, but you never hurt me as much as they did, most of the time you didn't even touch me, you just knocked my books from my hands. You never insulted my sexuality either, unless the others were with you, and even then, I had a feeling that you didn't like what you were saying. When you came here though, everything finally made sense. Instead of avoiding you when I worked, like I probably should have done, I decided to get close to you instead, to find out more about you and why you treated me that way at school. I've always been too curious like that. And the more time I spent with you, the more my feelings about you changed. It was easy to see that when you're here you're more relaxed, more unfiltered, more _genuine_. You're the real Jinwoo here in this booth with me and the real you looks upon me in a way no-one else ever has before. I'm used to looks of lust and desire but I've seen other things in your eyes too. Genuine concern every time you spotted a new bruise, happiness whenever I called your name and then something else entirely when you called me your flower. I found the bullying easier to handle after that, knowing that it wasn't really you. Did you still leave bruises on me though? Yes. Did your behaviour still upset me? Definitely. But were there moments I hated you so beyond measure that I'd wished I'd never met you? Never. Maybe its because I'm too kind for my own good, or always trying to find the best in others, but I've always seen that you were different Jinwoo. I just hoped that that difference would be something worth all of the pain in the end. And I'm beginning to think that it was.”  
Jinwoo was surprised to see his vision blurring as Myungjuns speech came to an end.  
“What the fuck?” He choked out, not understanding why he couldn't see any more.  
“Tears.” Myungjun observed softly, swiping them away with his thumb. “So you do feel pain about this too. That's good.” He kissed Jinwoo gently on the lips.  
“I'm sorry. Fuck, I'm so sorry for everything Myungjun I-”  
Myungjun shushed him. “I know. I know you're sorry. You've been sorry for a long time. But we both know that nothing is going to change. You're still Mortems leader. You're still going to be pressured into bullying me. You're still going to hurt me.”  
Jinwoos heart ached. He knew deep down that Myungjun was right. Mortem wasn't something he could just walk away from. For multiple reasons. But the main reason, the reason that made him sick to his stomach as he looked into Myungjuns beautiful eyes, was the fact that he, selfishly, didn't _want_ to turn his back on everything he had now. He liked the power he had. He liked the way people looked at him with respect and envy and fear. And he liked the fact he could get everything he wanted at the snap of his fingers.  
Everything except the beautiful flower in front of him.  
“When I told you who I really was, I thought you'd hate me, I thought you'd be disgusted knowing that I was really Kim Myungjun all along. And then...and then I ran away, took time off work and skipped days of school because I was scared to see the way you'd look at me. But it was so _hard_.” Myungjuns voice cracked, exposing his raw emotion for Jinwoo to see. “I was so used to seeing you everyday, to talking to you everyday, and without you...” he whimpered. “I missed you. I missed you so much. Its stupid I know. Why should I have missed you? But I did and it was suffocating. When I heard from Donghan that you'd been coming here every night trying to find me I decided that I had to see you again, to hear whatever it was that you had to say. I was prepared for the worst...but here we are. A part of me knows that this will never be enough. The fact you're only the real you in this tiny booth. I know deep down that the time I spend here with you will never make up for the way you have to treat me outside. But I'm done with thinking. I'm sick and tired of worrying. I know what I want now. Something that overrides that tiny part of me that's telling me this is a bad idea.” Myungjun took a shaky breath before smiling.  
“I want you to show me who you really are Park Jinwoo. Don't hold back. And don't be afraid. You're safe here with me.”  
Jinwoos replied groan sounded pained but all he felt was an immense relief, as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. In front of him was someone who understood him, someone who urged him to be himself and accepted him with open arms despite everything he'd done.  
He'd never had this before. This safe haven. And even if he didn't deserve it, he wanted to hold onto it selfishly with both hands and never let go.

All of the negative emotions that Jinwoo had been feeling were removed when his top came off. His mind and body were instead filled with a raw need and desire so acute it hurt. Myungjun tossed Jinwoos top aside before pulling back to look at Jinwoos exposed torso.  
Myungjuns pupils dilated with lust and Jinwoo smirked.  
He was proud of his muscular body, especially his chest, and he was glad to see it was having the desired effect on Myungjun too.  
“Can I...can I touch?” Myungjun asked sounding unsure, as if he were expecting Jinwoo to say no. It was laughably ridiculous.  
“Go ahead.”  
Myungjuns hands trembled as they crossed the distance between their bodies and they both breathed out heavily when his fingers made contact with Jinwoos skin.  
Jinwoo held still, watching every tiny change in Myungjuns awed expression as he explored Jinwoos chest, stomach and arms with his touch.  
Myungjun bit his lip. “You're really sexy.”  
Jinwoo grinned and made quick work of removing Myungjuns white lingerie robe, being more gentle with how he discarded it than Myungjun had been with his top.  
He caught Myungjun watching him with a small smile.  
“What?” Jinwoo asked. “Its really thin, I didn't want it to get caught on something and tear.”  
Myungjun giggled, his eyes sparkling with amusement. “Thank you. It took me a long time to make that one.”  
Jinwoo paused in his movements of unbuckling his belt and he looked up temporarily feeling genuinely surprised. “Wait you actually made that?”  
Myungjun nodded happily. “I make all of the outfits I wear here. Haven't you ever wondered how everything fits me so well, despite having a feminine look? I can't dress in shop bought lingerie because it never fits right on my body. Its not made for men after all. So I make my own instead.”  
“That's...amazing. You're amazing.” Jinwoo muttered before he could stop himself.  
To cover up his embarrassment, Jinwoo stopped working on undoing his belt and focused on getting Myungjuns tiny top off.  
He struggled with the ties at the back for so long he grew frustrated, only to watch as Myungjun reached behind himself and pulled it loose with ease.  
“Asshole.”  
Myungjun just grinned at the insult before his gaze suddenly turned sultry, rendering Jinwoo immobile.  
In one slow, teasing movement, Myungjun lifted the delicate material up and over his head.  
Jinwoo didn't ask for permission. His hands were all over Myungjuns beautiful skin, kneading and caressing him all over, tying to find all of the places where he was the most sensitive.  
Myungjuns breathy sighs weren't helping the ache in between Jinwoos legs but he positively lost it when Myungjun tipped his head back with a throaty moan as Jinwoos fingers glided over the base of his soft stomach.  
“Fuck that was sexy.” Jinwoo growled, leaning down to nip and suck at the bared expanse of Myungjuns throat.  
Myungjuns hands fumbled at Jinwoos belt, undoing it and pushing his trousers off his hips.  
Jinwoo stepped out of them, sighing in relief with how much better if felt with them off, and he kicked them aside.  
Myungjuns shorts came off next, the money he had tucked into the waistband fluttered to the floor around them.  
“Oh my god I really am a stripper.” Myungjun laughed weakly.  
Jinwoo wasn't listening. He was much too distracted by the silky red material of Myungjuns panties, and the way they were struggling to cover Myungjuns arousal.  
“You have no idea how hard it was for me today, seeing you like that in school. That damn skirt.”  
“I thought you'd like it, That was another reason why I decided to help the girls with their protest.” Myungjun revealed before tilting Jinwoos face back up and kissing him hungrily.  
Jinwoo pulled their bodies together, groaning at the feeling of Myungjuns soft thighs rubbing against his own. He was so turned on it was painful.  
Myungjun gasped into his mouth when Jinwoo started to grind their hips together, desperate for the friction.  
“It's not enough.” Myungjun whimpered after a few seconds. “Please Jinwoo take them off.”  
Jinwoo was sad to see the panties go but he couldn't deny the fact that Myungjun looked even better without them. His naked body was gorgeous, curves and sharp lines, softness and strong muscle, all in the right places.  
Jinwoos mouth watered.  
Myungjun pushed him backwards and down onto one of the sofas before climbing onto Jinwoos lap and immediately devouring his lips again. His eagerness was such a turn on and Jinwoo didn't know how much longer he'd be able to last.  
Myungjun pulled back and reached over to pull an ornately decorated wooden box from underneath the low-rise coffee table.  
Opening the lid revealed the contents within. It was full to the brim with different coloured sachets of lube and various types of condoms.  
“Lucky dip?” Myungjun asked cutely.  
Jinwoo wanted to kiss him.  
So he did, reaching into the box blindly as their lips met.  
“I want to do it.” Myungjun grabbed the condom packet from Jinwoos hand and tore it open with his teeth.  
“Done this before?” Jinwoo asked as Myungjun rolled it onto him with ease.  
Myungjun didn't answer, he just opened the lube and coated his fingers with it before reaching behind himself.  
“What are you doing?” Jinwoo asked. “That's my job.”  
“I know how to prep myself Jinwoo. Just kiss me.”  
Jinwoo couldn't help but feel a little disappointed. He'd wanted to watch as Myungjun writhed on his fingers. But he could always save that for next time.  
_Next time._  
Would Myungjun even want to do this again?  
As if he'd read his mind Myungjun smiled. “I'll let you prep me next time so stop sulking.”  
The confirmation of there being a next time filled Jinwoo with relief and he smiled back before giving Myungjun what he wanted.  
It didn't take long at all before Myungjun broke the kiss with a moan that sounded almost pained.  
“Found it.”  
Jinwoo attacked Myungjuns neck with his tongue and teeth, silently urging him to hurry up. The soft groans and gasps spilling out of his flowers lips as he worked himself open was almost too much to handle.  
After what seemed like an eternity Myungjun finally said; “I'm ready.” He reached down with his wet hand in between Jinwoos legs. “I was worried you would have gone soft because I took so long.” He admitted sounding embarrassed.  
“Myungjun you just fingered yourself on my lap.” Jinwoo said deadpan. “There's no way I'd have anything less than a raging boner right now.”  
Myungjun giggled and readjusted himself on Jinwoos thighs, lining their bodies up.  
“Are you ready?”  
Jinwoo nodded and grit his teeth as Myungjun lowered himself. There was a single second of utter calm before their bodies connected and then Jinwoos head fell back against the sofa as he was engulfed in heat. The sound ripped out of his throat was guttural and he heard Myungjun whimper above him.  
“Jinwoo look at me.”  
Jinwoo forced his head back up and looked into Myungjuns eyes. Myungjun sunk down on him a little more and they both groaned in pleasure.  
It was hard to look away from Myungjuns dark gaze. It seemed to pull Jinwoo in more deeply as Myungjuns hips finally finished moving.  
Myungjun fell forwards onto Jinwoos chest, burying his face into Jinwoos neck. Jinwoo rubbed a gentle hand up his spine, waiting for Myungjun to adjust as he fought the urge to thrust up into him. He didn't want to hurt Myungjun again, and definitely not like this when he was at his most vulnerable.  
“I'm sorry.”  
Jinwoo was horrified to hear Myungjuns tiny sniffle.  
“Are you crying?” He asked.  
Myungjun laughed weakly and pulled back to look at him with watery eyes, wrapping his arms around Jinwoos shoulders. “A little. This is just a lot to take in. And I'm not just talking about your dick.”  
Jinwoo snorted in amusement before reaching up to swipe Myungjuns eyes dry with his thumbs. “Don't apologise. You're doing so well. Just take your time, I can wait.”  
Myungjun shook his head. “I don't need any more time.”  
That was the only warning Jinwoo was permitted before Myungjuns hips started to move, erasing all thoughts from Jinwoos mind.  
Myungjun started off slow, the tempo of his movements seeming to naturally sync up with the soft sensual music filling the booth. The pleasure lapped at Jinwoos skin, slowly dragging him down into an unfamiliar sea of mindless pleasure.  
They'd only just started, yet Jinwoo was already convinced that this was the best sex he'd ever had.  
That conviction was further strengthened as Myungjun started to lift his hips, dropping them back down again, plunging Jinwoo deeper inside of him time and time again.  
“Fuck that feels good.” Jinwoo choked, wrapping his hands around Myungjuns waist.  
“You can move now too. Please move.”  
Hearing that he had permission made Jinwoos dangerously weak self control snap. He thrust up hard, using the hands around Myungjuns waist to pull the dancer down at the same time.  
Myungjuns cry of pleasure was shockingly loud in Jinwoos ears and he cursed at how sexy the sound was.  
“Is this booth soundproof?” Jinwoo asked breathlessly after pulling a few more cries out of Myungjuns rosy lips.  
“Mostly. I-I'll try to be quiet.”  
Myungjun covered his mouth, his eyes screwed shut as he tried hard to contain himself.  
His eyes snapped open in shock when Jinwoo yanked the hand away.  
“No.” Jinwoo growled. “Let me hear how good I'm making you feel. Let _them_ hear.”  
Myungjun bit his lip and nodded.  
Jinwoo grunted his approval before continuing his desperate thrusts.  
Sweat dripped down his forehead as the booth heated up from their panted breaths.  
Myungjuns legs started to tremble and Jinwoo could see it in his beautiful face, and hear it in his dizzying moans, that were only getting higher in pitch, that he was close to his release.  
Their bodies moved faster, almost out of sync now as they neared the end.  
The sound of skin on skin was harsh but the smell of flowers was harsher. The scent seemed to be oozing out of Myungjuns pores.  
Jinwoo buried his face in Myungjuns chest as his climax hit him like a tonne of bricks, stealing his breath and forcing stars to burst like fireworks in his vision.  
He felt Myungjuns release paint his stomach a few seconds later as the dancer shuddered in his lap, stifling a scream into Jinwoos hair.  
Yes. Definitely the best sex Jinwoo had ever had.

Jinwoo watched as Myungjun dressed a while later.  
Myungjun looked a different kind of beautiful post-fuck and Jinwoo felt his heart constrict when Myungjun turned to smile at him as he pulled on his robe, lips swollen and slick.  
Jinwoo had always caught himself daydreaming about kissing his flowers pretty lips. Now that those thoughts had finally become reality Jinwoo was more than satisfied.  
He could still taste Myungjun in his mouth and it threatened to harden him again.  
_God, he's killing me._  
Myungjun approached him looking shy and perched delicately on the edge of the sofa.  
Jinwoo smirked when he realised Myungjun was trying hard not to look at his body. Jinwoo hadn't bothered getting dressed in more than his underwear, too busy watching Myungjun, and seeing that Myungjun couldn't trust himself not to get distracted by Jinwoos bare chest made Jinwoos ego swell.  
Myungjun cleared his throat quietly looking shy.  
“I know I mentioned about there being a next time for...this to happen between us again, but I don't want you to take that seriously. I know you probably don't want to-”  
“I want to.” Jinwoo cut in, pulling Myungjun across the sofa towards him with a frown. “Of course I want to. There's going to be a next time. Hopefully _a lot_ of next times. How do you expect me to want anything less now?”  
Myungjuns lips parted in surprise and a blush began to gather in his cheeks. The colour was distorted by his smeared makeup and Jinwoos frown deepened as he reached up to wipe the makeup away, revealing the pretty colour beneath.  
“I don't like it when you wear this makeup.” Jinwoo muttered. “It covers up too much.”  
Myungjun pulled away from him and stood, smiling tightly in his direction.  
“Tell Byungchul to stop hitting me in the face then and maybe I won't have to wear it.”  
Myungjun left, leaving Jinwoo to stew in nothing but pure guilt.  
Now that he'd fallen from his high, Jinwoo was beginning to realise the cold, hard truth. The truth Myungjun had no doubt realised by now too.  
The sex might have been great, and the promise of more definitely exciting, but they'd be back in school tomorrow and would have to act like nothing had happened.

For the briefest of seconds he wished he was no longer Park Jinwoo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Hiding* I can't believe I wrote actual sex. I'm so sorry.


	4. Do Flowers Sleep?

Jinwoo was tired. So tired.  
He'd spent the entire night tossing and turning in bed. One minute he was thinking about the mind-blowing sex he and Myungjun had had, and then the next minute he was worrying about what that meant, and how he was supposed to act in school the next day.  
The only way he'd been able to get any sleep at all, was to convince himself that the sex meant nothing and that nothing had to change when they bumped into each other in the halls.

However, even giving himself peace of mind like that only allowed for an hour of sleep before he had to get up. He was exhausted and grumpy and snapped at anyone who looked at him the wrong way when he entered the schools grounds.  
He went straight to Mortems main hang in the gymnasium and dumped himself down on the old, battered couch that they'd robbed from the teachers lounge a couple of years ago.  
Bin was using the boxing bag in the corner of the room, his fists on the leather creating a violent lullaby that made Jinwoo sink back further into the cushions.  
_Since when did the sound of violence begin to sooth me instead of scare me?_  
Just as he was slipping into unconsciousness, thinking only of getting another hours sleep, the doors burst open.  
Jinwoo didn't even have the strength to open his eyes, he just grunted in acknowledgement as Byungchul called his name.  
It was the pained whimper that made Jinwoo sit up fast, his eyes snapping open.  
Byungchul had a tight grip on the back of Myungjuns sweater as he dragged him across the room.  
Jinwoos heart was racing a mile a minute as he scanned what little of Myungjuns skin he could see, looking for any damage.  
“What the fuck is this?” Jinwoo asked, trying hard to contain his anger.  
Byungchul tossed something down at Jinwoos feet. It was a bundle of coupons for free coffees. All of the coupons had been stamped to show that they had been used.  
_He kept all of the coupons I gave him?_  
“This freak was loitering outside your locker holding these.” Byungchul spat. “Used coupons for a _free coffee_? Is he trying to be funny or something?”  
Byungchuls shoe came down on the bundle of paper, soiling them with its muddy sole.  
The anger rose in Jinwoo like a sickness, burning in his gut and making its way up to his throat, constricting his airways painfully as he watched the first of Myungjuns tears roll down his cheek.  
The coupons. Myungjun had saved them all. Kept them all together like some sort of damn memento.  
Before Jinwoo could lose his temper, Greys voice floated across the room. He sounded bored.  
“Byung do you have a crush on him or something? I swear your day revolves around harassing the kid. Get a new fucking hobby we're all tired of this shit.”  
Everyone looked over at Grey in surprise. He'd never said anything against Byungchul before. Jinwoo knew it was because Grey was probably too scared to, as he had once been one of Byungchuls victims too. That was until Grey had proven his worth by getting Mortem out of a tight spot with the police. Jinwoo had offered him a place in recompense and even though it had been awkward at first, Grey had become one of them over time, mainly due to his ability to overlook Byungchuls shitty attitude.  
But today it seemed like he'd had enough. It couldn't be easy watching your former bully constantly beat on another person, especially when it probably reminded him of what Byungchul had done to him in the past.  
Byungchul spluttered at the accusation. “A crush? On this fag? Not a fucking chance.”  
As if to further prove his point, he yanked Myungjuns down to his knees and kicked him forwards.  
Myungjun didn't make any moves to get up and Jinwoo was suddenly struck with an idea.  
“Look.” Jinwoo growled. “He's not even retaliating any more. He's already broken.” Jinwoo stood up from the couch, purposefully making his movements slow and making sure Byungchul was definitely watching him now. Jinwoo knew he was wearing the correct expression when Byungchul froze. “How many fucking times have I told you, Myungjun is my personal toy to fuck with? You know how much I hate him, yet you're constantly going for him. And now he's useless to me, doesn't even give me a satisfactory reaction.” Jinwoo bent down to clap his hands right in Myungjuns face, a harsh slap of skin on skin that would have made anyone jump in surprise. Myungjun didn't even flinch. Jinwoo was proud of him. Jinwoo straightened up and walked over until he was standing toe-to-toe with the young man who was supposed to be his best friend. He looked up at him, jaw clenched. Even though Byungchul was taller then him, he didn't look it right then. He cowered under Jinwoos gaze. “Maybe Greys right. Maybe you do have a crush. Remember what we were taught in the old dragons class? Being around someone for extended periods of time could lead to you copying their mannerisms and becoming more like them. Maybe the gays rubbing off on you too.”  
A small snicker of appreciation rung around the room from the other members of Mortem who had gathered to watch their leader take their most cockiest down a peg or two.  
Byungchul was red in the face, mouth soundlessly opening and closing. Ridiculously, something akin to fear rose in his eyes, as if he really believed Jinwoos shoddy excuse for a distraction. Jinwoo wasn't even sure he'd remembered the old dragons lesson correctly, but it seemed he'd been convincing enough.  
“I...I'm not gay.” Byungchul choked. “I have a girlfriend!”  
“Well you sure spend more time with him then her.” Jinwoo spat.  
Byungchul looked horrified and took a giant step back, regarding Myungjuns slumped figure on the floor as if he were a poisonous bug.  
“So,” Jinwoo continued dangerously. “I suggest you stay the fuck away from him, and keep him the fuck out of our space. No-one else here wants to be infected by him.” Jinwoo turned to look down at Myungjun. “You. Get up, get out and never come back here again...and stay the fuck away from my locker.”  
Myungjun climbed to his feet, clutching the soiled coupons in one hand. Jinwoo hadn't noticed him collecting them. The thought made his stomach clench uncomfortably.  
Myungjun fled from the room but absurdly remembered to close the doors behind himself on the way out.  
Jinwoo slumped back down on the sofa with a sigh, feeling a strong sense of relief after successfully avoiding any violence, and closed his eyes.  
“I'm taking a nap. Anyone who disturbs me will get gutted.”  
~

“He's in booth five.” Myungjuns bodyguard said, after approaching Jinwoo the second he'd walked into The Camellia.  
Jinwoo nodded and walked across the dimly-lit room, breathing in the flowery haze and greeting everyone he walked past.  
He'd barely opened the curtain to the fifth booth before he was engulfed in a hug from a small, warm body that fit perfectly into his arms. Jinwoo couldn't help but laugh as he carried Myungjun further inside.  
He knew is wasn't professional of Myungjun to show too much favouritism towards a specific client, so he made sure the curtain was pulled shut behind them.  
When he was finally able to look at the flower in his arms, he saw that Myungjuns eyes were teary. The dancer had the widest smile on his face and he tightened his arms around Jinwoos neck, his words coming out rushed.  
“I had the best day ever!” Myungjun cried. “Byungchul ran away every time he saw me! You're a genius!”  
Jinwoo smirked proudly. “I know. It was all thanks to you though. You knew when to be quiet and let me take over.”  
“I'm so happy I could kiss you!” Myungjun gushed before realising what he'd just said and flushing. “I mean-”  
Jinwoo kissed him before Myungjun could come up with an excuse. He wasn't gentle about it either. Their teeth knocked together but Jinwoo savoured the pain. He pulled at Myungjuns hair, digging the fingers of his other hand into Myungjun soft waist.  
Myungjun groaned, giving Jinwoo access to his mouth.  
The kiss was deep and passionate and messy.  
Jinwoo loved it.  
But when Myungjun started to work on getting Jinwoos belt off, Jinwoo surprised even himself by stopping him.  
“Not tonight.” He muttered against Myungjuns lips.  
“You don't want to have sex with me?” Myungjun asked quietly with poorly hidden insecurity.  
“No I do. Fuck I really do.” Jinwoo could feel his body reacting at the mere thought alone. “I'm just too tired tonight.”  
Myungjun stared at him as if he were speaking in an alien language. “You're too tired...to have sex?”  
Jinwoo scowled. “Stop making it sound weird. I've had like two hours sleep in the last two days. I feel like shit so cut me some slack.”  
Myungjuns face softened. “Sorry. Its not weird. If you're too tired then that's okay.”  
Myungjun pulled away from him and went to sit at the end of one of the booths red leather sofas. He patted his lap.  
“Come and lie down.”  
“But-”  
“Don't make this weird Park Jinwoo.” Myungjun teased lightly. “I'll still be here when you wake up.”  
After a moments hesitation Jinwoos tired bones won. He collapsed on the sofa, resting his head on Myungjuns soft thighs, trying not to think about how this was what couples did in those gross, sappy romance movies.  
Jinwoos body turned to jelly as Myungjuns fingers started to card through his hair in soothing, methodical strokes.  
Myungjun started to hum quietly under his breath. Jinwoo recognised it as a classical piece he'd heard when he was a child. He stood no chance of staying awake and was asleep before Myungjun had even really begun.  
~

Jinwoo was warm and comfortable and the fingers were still running through his hair when he woke. He opened his heavy eyelids to see Myungjun smiling down at him.  
“Hey sleepy.” Myungjun said softly. “Feel better?”  
Jinwoo replied with a tired whine and rolled over, burying his face in Myungjuns stomach.  
Myungjun giggled. “You're very cute Mr Park.”  
“Don't call me cute.” Jinwoo grumbled, voice thick and scratchy. “How long have I been asleep?”  
“About forty minutes.” Myungjun answered sounding amused.  
“You sat here for forty minutes?”  
“Of course I did. I told you I'd be here when you woke, so I couldn't just leave you, could I?”  
Jinwoo was hit with the realisation that Myungjun had just spent all of that time watching him sleep and he hid his embarrassment behind a scowl as he sat up.  
_God, I hope I didn't snore._  
“Your phone is on the table.” Myungjun pointed to it. “It kept ringing so I took it out of your pocket and put it on silent so that it wouldn't disturb you.”  
Jinwoo picked it up. The front screen flashed with three missed calls and six new messages, all from Byungchul offering apologies for his behaviour today and asking if Jinwoo wanted to meet up for a smoke.  
Jinwoo ignored the messages and slipped his phone back into his pocket.  
“Think it's safe to say you'll never have to deal with Byungchul again.” Jinwoo muttered. “Can't believe he fell for that bullshit about catching the gay disease.”  
“It's not a disease.” Myungjun replied quietly. “Its nothing to be ashamed of either.”  
“Why were you outside my locker today?” Jinwoo asked, ignoring Myungjuns comment.  
Before Myungjun could answer his question, the curtain to the booth rustled and his bodyguard looked inside.  
“Myungjun you have a client booked for this booth in five minutes. Aera wants to see you afterwards as well. One of the dancers called in sick and she wants you to cover her clients tonight too.”  
Myungjun pouted. “How late?”  
“Last client is at 4:30am.”  
Myungjun dismissed him and slumped back ungraciously with a groan.  
“Thank god it's Friday.”  
“You have to work until 4:30?” Jinwoo asked with a frown. Myungjun usually got off work at 1am at the latest.  
“No. I'll be working beyond that. The dancer who called in sick works until the club closes at 5am...Crap. I need to text my parents to let them know I won't be coming home.”  
“Where will you go when the club closes?”  
“Donghans apartment probably. He always lets me stay over when I have late nights. Its like my second home now. Its far out but I don't mind sleeping a little in the car.”  
The thought of Myungjun going home with Donghan made something ugly twist in Jinwoos stomach and he frowned.  
_I'm not jealous._  
Before he could stop himself he was saying;  
“You could always stay with me.”  
Myungjuns eyes widened. “What?”  
Jinwoo regretted the offer immediately, but he knew he couldn't back out now.  
“Stay with me tonight.” He repeated awkwardly. “Its closer than Donghans place.”  
Myungjuns eyes dropped down to his hands. He spent a few silent seconds smoothing out his red work robe. “Umm...sure. I'd like that. But wouldn't your parents mind though?”  
“They're used to me bringing girls home.” Jinwoo answered dismissively. He didn't miss the uncomfortable look that settle on Myungjuns face. “Not that I'm saying you're-”  
“I know. You should go. My client will be here soon.”  
Jinwoo nodded before standing up. He hesitated.  
What should he do now? Say goodbye? Thank Myungjun for letting him get some sleep?  
Myungjun looked up at him and frowned. “Go Jinwoo.”  
Jinwoo left feeling like an idiot. He knew he probably shouldn't have compared Myungjun to the girls he had one night stands with, but in reality, it made no difference.  
It was all just sex after all.  
Sex with the girls to maintain his image. Sex with Myungjun for fun.  
Nothing more and nothing less.  
He sighed as he approached the bar.  
After ordering his usual, he unlocked his phone and sent a quick message.

 **To: Chul. 00:37am**  
**Meet at our usual spot. Bring something good to smoke and I might forgive you. Got plenty of time to kill.**  
~  
Jinwoo was back at the club at exactly five in the morning. The last of the patrons were filing out but they let Jinwoo through.  
The rouge lighting was being switched off and replaced with something brighter, turning the club from its seductive paradise of the night, to its less impressive daytime counterpart.  
The dancers greeted Jinwoo with looks of mild confusion as they walked past but he just smiled and looked around for the one dancer he was waiting for.  
He spotted him at the door leading to the staff room, talking to Donghan and a woman who looked exactly like him.  
_Donghan has a sister?_  
Myungjun waved goodbye to the siblings, blowing them kisses which made them laugh before he turned away and spotted Jinwoo.  
Jinwoo received a tired smile.  
Myungjun was dressed in casual clothes and had his glasses on. He definitely looked a lot different now.  
“Hey.” Myungjun said almost shyly. “Are we walking?”  
“No. I called us a cab. Its already outside.”  
Myungjun breathed out heavily in relief, making Jinwoo laugh.  
“Anyone would think you've just done a hard days work.” Jinwoo tutted.  
“Stop teasing me Park Jinwoo. I do more than you!”  
Jinwoo gasped in mock offence as they left the club. It was still dark outside.  
“I do a lot of work thank you very much.”  
“Like what?”  
“Like...oh! I've been out with Byungchul all night and made a bit of money.”  
Myungjun eyed him suspiciously as they approached the taxi. “And how did you make money? Actually, don't tell me. It's probably from doing something illegal.”  
Jinwoo grinned mischievously and opened the door for him, letting him into the car first before sliding in beside him and giving the driver his address.  
Jinwoo closed his eyes, allowing the quiet hum of the engine to soothe him.  
He was just starting to relax when something heavy landed on his shoulder.  
He looked over to see that Myungjun had fallen asleep, using Jinwoos shoulder as a pillow.  
He tried to ignore the way his heart squeezed in his chest as he looked over Myungjuns serene and peaceful expression. Myungjun looked a different kind of beautiful with a bare face free of makeup and Jinwoo had a hard time looking away.  
When the driver stopped the car and asked for the fare, Jinwoo handed it over and shook Myungjun gently to wake him.  
“Hey sleepy.” Jinwoo said, mocking Myungjuns voice from before. “We're here.”  
Myungjun mocked Jinwoos sleepy whine from before in return and smiled sleepily when Jinwoo huffed.  
They exited the car and Jinwoo took Myungjuns bag as they headed up the path to his front door.  
“Wow I didn't expect you to live in such a nice home.” Myungjun said, looking around at the clean exterior and neatly pruned front garden.  
“What _were_ you expecting?”  
Myungjun hummed thoughtfully. “A rundown apartment block with lots of graffiti and broken windows. With a mother addicted to cocaine and an abusive father. You know, like those angsty boys in movies that turn into bullies because they've got daddy issues.”  
Jinwoo stared at Myungjun with his mouth agape. “You think I have _daddy issues_?”  
Myungjun shrugged and didn't answer.  
That didn't make Jinwoo feel any better.  
He just opened the front door using his key and led Myungjun into the kitchen to get a glass of water.  
There was a covered plate sitting on the dining table and Jinwoo sighed. He was always telling his mother not to cook him anything but she never listened.  
“Oh my god that looks delicious.” Myungjun whined, looking over Jinwoos shoulder as Jinwoo uncovered the plate to see one of his mothers favourite dishes.  
A loud grumble sounded from Myungjuns stomach and he coughed awkwardly to cover it up.  
“I'm sorry. I forgot to eat on my break.”  
Jinwoo didn't bother asking if he wanted it, he just took the plate over to the microwave.  
It was either reheat it and let Myungjun eat it, or dispose of it and let all the food go to waste.  
Reheating it seemed to be the right choice. Myungjun groaned appreciatively as he ate and had shovelled down half the plate before speaking.  
“This is amazing.” He spoke around a mouthful of food.  
Jinwoo watched him eat. It set off a strange feeling inside of him, witnessing Myungjun eating his mothers food.  
When Myungjun was finished, he insisted on cleaning up after himself, and it wasn't until 5:45am that they made it upstairs to Jinwoos room. Jinwoo made sure that they were quiet enough not to wake his parents.  
They might not be the type of parents Myungjun had described at the front door, but they still weren't the type he'd let Myungjun see.  
“Can I borrow something to sleep in?” Myungjun asked as he set his bag down.  
Jinwoos mind was suddenly filled with images of Myungjun in his clothes and he was handing over his favourite oversized tee and shorts a second later.  
Myungjun thanked him and told him to close his eyes so that he could get changed.  
Jinwoo thought it was ridiculous as he'd already seen Myungjun naked, but he let him have his way and only turned back around when Myungjun said he was done.  
Jinwoo looked Myungjun up and down. He looked adorable and devastatingly small in Jinwoos big shirt. The glasses on his face suddenly looked a lot better on him than before. Strange.  
“Do I look weird?” Myungjun asked, biting nervously at his lip and wringing the material of the shirt between his slim fingers.  
Jinwoo cleared his throat, looking away. “No you look...comfy.”  
He mentally facepalmed.  
“They're very comfy, thank you. I'll wash them and return them to you the next time I see you at the club.”  
“Don't bother. Just keep them.” Jinwoo replied trying to sound nonchalant. He gestured to his bed. “You can sleep on my bed. I've got some spare bedding I can use.”  
“You're not sleeping on the floor.” Myungjun replied tiredly as he crawled under Jinwoos covers. “Just come and sleep with me. There's plenty of space.”  
The domesticity of it made Jinwoo wrinkle his nose. He'd already slept with his head on Myungjuns lap, allowed Myungjun to sleep against him in the car, AND lent Myungjun his clothes. That was enough for one day.  
“No its fine. You've worked ha-”  
A soft snore cut him off and Jinwoo looked over to see that Myungjun had already fallen asleep. Unbelievable.  
He walked over to the bed, removed the glasses from Myungjuns face and tucked the covers around him more tightly.  
“You look cute when you sleep...its annoying.” Jinwoo mumbled grumpily before moving away to make a bed on the floor.  
He was asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.  
~  
**Myungjuns POV**

The creaking of a door woke Myungjun up.  
He was confused at first when he opened his eyes and his hands reached around blindly for his glasses. This didn't feel like his bed and it didn't smell like his room either.  
When he located his glasses, he put them on and relaxed as his vision improved.  
_Oh yeah. I'm in Jinwoos room._  
Myungjun looked around for him and spotted the bundle of blankets on the floor that were gently rising and falling with Jinwoo rhythmic breaths.  
_He really slept on the floor?_  
“Oh I'm sorry dear. Go back to sleep. I didn't mean to wake you. I was just checking to see if Jinwoo came home.”  
A woman smiled as she peered around the door at him. She had the same cute eye smile as Jinwoo and Myungjun couldn't help but smile back.  
He was tempted to just roll over and go back to sleep, as he was sure he'd only been out for a couple of hours, but now he was much too curious about Jinwoos family.  
He climbed carefully from the bed and stepped over Jinwoo on the way to the door.  
Jinwoos mother had already disappeared but Myungjun just followed the voices he heard and found himself down in the kitchen again.  
The man who could have only been Jinwoos father was seated at the table, in the same seat Myungjun had occupied just hours before, with his eyes glued to the newspaper in front of him.  
His resemblance to Jinwoo made Myungjuns skin tingle. Were all of the men in this family this handsome?  
“...never lets anyone sleep in his bed! Do you think he's finally coming back to his senses?” Jinwoos mother gossiped in a whisper.  
Jinwoos father looked up to answer her but paused when he spotted Myungjun eavesdropping at the door.  
Myungjun swallowed nervously and stepped further into the room.  
“Umm hello. Sorry, I didn't mean to intrude.” Myungjun said quickly.  
Jinwoos mother was out of her seat like a jack-in-the-box, ushering Myungjun towards the table and pressing a glass of water into his hands before he could even verbally accept it.  
“No need to apologise dear. You're not intruding at all.” The woman brushed off his apology with a dismissive wave of her hand. “We're just glad to see someone...well...” She looked Myungjun over.  
Myungjun fiddled nervously with his glasses, making sure they were sitting properly on his nose.  
“...respectable.” The woman finished with a twist of her lips.  
Myungjun cringed inside. He could only imagine the type of girls Jinwoos parents had to see being snuck up to their sons bedroom.  
But from the sounds of things, Jinwoo never let them stay the night afterwards, and that thought alone was enough to make Myungjun happy.  
“Are you one of Jinwoos gang members?” Jinwoos father asked, unable to keep the distaste from his voice as he set his newspaper down.  
“Oh no. Definitely not. We're just...friends.” Myungjun finished awkwardly.  
Were they friends? Myungjun didn't know.  
He wasn't even sure if Jinwoo wanted anything outside of their dancer/patron relationship. They only interacted properly at the club and this was the first time Myungjun had gone anywhere outside of it with him. This was turning out to be a weird morning indeed.  
The man across the table relaxed and offered Myungjun an apologetic smile.  
“I didn't mean to jump to conclusions. Jinwoo just doesn't bring boys home anymore unless they're a part of his gang.”  
“Anymore?” Myungjun asked curiously as he sipped at his water.  
“We know that our son is gay.” His father said bluntly. “Or at least interested in both women AND men. But ever since he started getting into fights and hanging around with that Byungchul boy and the others, he hasn't been himself. When he was young, he used to talk about getting married and having a family of his own, where his children would have so much fun because they'd have two dads instead of one.”  
“He was always a daddies boy.” Jinwoos mother cut in with a fond sigh. “Never wanted to cuddle up to _me_. I'd wake up every morning to find that Jinwoo had snuck into our bed during the night and latched onto his fathers chest. If I tried to move him, he'd whine and sulk until I put him back.”  
Myungjun giggled at the endearing thought. Jinwoo had definitely been a cute child.  
The deep, rumbling laughter coming from Jinwoos father soon died down to an expression of sadness.  
“He's different now though. Out at all hours of the night, sneaking girls in, getting in trouble with the police. He's not my little boy anymore.”  
_If my parents knew about all the secrets I'm keeping from them, would they feel the same way about me? Would I not be their little boy anymore either?_  
“But Jinwoo has been acting differently lately.” His mother said, peering critically at Myungjun as if she'd find the answers to her sons changed behaviour in Myungjuns pores. “Have you been friends with Jinwoo for long? He let you sleep in his bed. He doesn't even let his closest friends sleep in his bed. They're his clothes that you're wearing as well right?” She suddenly gasped. “Are you his boyfriend? Oh my god this is wonderful!”  
“I'm not-”  
“He's not my fucking boyfriend.”  
They all turned to see Jinwoo standing in the doorway looking furious. His hair was sticking up in all directions and his face was still puffy from sleep. He looked tired but his eyes were ablaze as they looked down at Myungjuns hands that had somehow become entangled with his mothers on the tabletop.  
“Have fun gossiping about me did you? About your screw up of a son who can't do anything right?” Jinwoo spat, balling his fists up at his sides.  
Myungjun was stunned at the venomous tone in Jinwoos voice. How could he speak to his parents like that? They were lovely and clearly cared about him a lot.  
“Honey you know we-”  
“Don't fucking _honey_ me.” Jinwoo cut his mother off and stormed over to the table to pull Myungjun to his feet.  
The warmth of the woman's hands disappeared from Myungjuns own and he stumbled as Jinwoo yanked him towards the door. His grip on Myungjuns arm was like iron.  
“Park Jinwoo get back here right now! Don't you dare take that tone with your mother!” His father raged, slamming his fist down on the tabletop making the breakfast dishes clatter.  
Jinwoo paused, giving Myungjun hope for a second. But the hope was dashed at the look on Jinwoos face that he aimed towards the man.  
“Stop sticking your noses into my business. And stop hoping for the old me to come back. He's gone. I've changed. And its pathetic watching you cling onto him.”  
Myungjun didn't even have time to say his farewells before he was being pushed up the stairs.  
“Go get your shit and leave.” Jinwoo growled angrily behind him. “This was a fucking mistake.”  
Myungjun spun around to glare down at him. “I don't think it was a mistake. I think you're just being an asshole. You have parents who love and care for you despite the hell you put them through! So what if they're waiting for the old you to reappear? The old you sounds a lot better than whatever you are now. It's not their fault you changed so much because of your stupid gang!”  
Myungjuns back hit the wall as Jinwoo shoved him. The grip on Myungjuns shoulders was painful.  
“You don't know anything about me, about why Mortem is important to me, and neither do my so-called parents! Don't act like you understand me or _them_ for that matter. I only invited you here because I felt sorry for you. And I see now that you only accepted so that you could spy on me!”  
Myungjun couldn't stop the laugh of disbelief that bubbled up from his chest.  
“ _Spy on you_? Are you crazy? I hate to break it to you Jinwoo but the whole world doesn't revolve around you and your planet-sized ego! I accepted your invitation to sleep here because I wanted to spend more time with you. Time that wasn't spent in a booth, or spent on my knees at your feet in your gangs stupid hideout!” Tears pricked at Myungjuns eyes but he blinked them away. “But if you only invited me here out of pity then I'll gladly take my leave.”  
Jinwoos jaw clenched and unclenched a few times. His grip loosened and disappeared from Myungjuns shoulders and Jinwoo stepped back, running a hand through his hair, mussing it up further in his frustration.  
“Shit. I'm sorry. I'm being a dick. I shouldn't have taken my anger out on you. But I won't take back what I said. You don't know me, or my reasoning behind Mortem, so don't just go blindly rallying to my parents side. It pisses me off.”  
“The fact that you think there's sides at all is ridiculous.” Myungjun sniffed. “But tell me. Tell me why Mortem is important to you. Help me to understand you Jinwoo.” Myungjun didn't want to beg. But his voice took on a begging quality towards the end as he reached out to hold one of Jinwoos shaking hands.  
Jinwoo gave Myungjuns fingers a gentle, comforting squeeze before letting him go.  
“No one knows the reasoning besides me, and I plan on keeping it that way.”  
_You're no different from the rest Myungjun._ Myungjun heard behind Jinwoos words. _I have no reason to confide in you. We're not that close._  
Myungjuns heart gave a horrible lurch in his chest. He didn't say anything in response, he just went upstairs to get out of Jinwoos clothes and sent a quick text.

**To: DingDong(han), WaitAMin(hyuk) 8:37am**  
**Let's have a boys day out. I need it. I also need picking up from [attached address].**

**From: DingDong(han) 8:38am**  
**Omw. If you're crying when I get there I'll rip his dick off.**

**From: WaitAMin(hyuk) 8:45am**  
**It's too early. Try me again at lunch time. But don't you dare do anything fun without me!**  
~  
“You're not crying so I guess he gets to keep his dick for another day.” Donghan joked as Myungjun climbed up into the passenger seat of his jeep.  
Donghan sounded tired and looked it too, and Myungjun immediately felt guilty.  
“Have you even slept?  
Donghan smiled at him. “Sleep? What's that?” He laughed at Myungjuns resulting expression. “Don't worry about me. I'm not the one who had to dance all night. You look like shit by the way. You should have slept more. Why didn't you?”  
“I met Jinwoos parents.”  
“And how'd that go?”  
“They're nice. They care about him a lot. His mother is an _amazing_ cook, and his father is really handsome.”  
“So you're into older guys now huh? I thought I was too old for you but this...”  
Myungjun squealed indignantly and smacked at Donghans muscular arm. It was as thick as a tree trunk and caused Myungjun more damage than it was worth.  
He cradled his throbbing hand close to his chest with a pout.  
“Stop teasing me!”  
Donghan grinned and thankfully changed the subject. “So why did you leave so early anyway?”  
Myungjun sighed unhappily. “Jinwoo doesn't see me as anything more than a Camellia. He made that pretty clear.”  
“Okay so maybe he doesn't need his dick after all.” Donghan moved to open his door but Myungjun quickly leaned over to stop him.  
“Leave his manhood alone. I prefer it attached to his body thank you very much.”  
Donghan pretended to gag. “Please don't start talking about the sex you had again. I know you're excited because he took your virginity and all that but I really don't need all the details.”  
Myungjun stuck his tongue out at him childishly before pointing to the road.  
“Let's go. I need your help on brainstorming ideas to make Jinwoo notice me as something _other_ than a dancer.”  
Donghan groaned as the car pulled away from the curb.  
“My brain isn't capable of thought right now. Let's just go back to my place and take a nap. I'll even let you be the little spoon.”  
“I'm always the little spoon.” Myungjun pointed out. “But I accept. Nap then brainstorm. I invited Hyuk out too, so I'll send your address to him and he can meet us there. Three brains are better than one.”  
“Yay.” Donghan replied emotionlessly.  
Myungjun ignored him and looked up at Jinwoos house as they passed it. He was sure he saw Jinwoos bedroom curtains twitch and smiled to himself.  
“DingDong I have the perfect idea.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jinwoo:  
> "I hate that Myungjun saved all those coupons."  
> "I hate that Myungjun let me sleep on his lap."  
> "I hate that Myungjun fell asleep against me in the taxi."  
> "I hate that Myungjun ate my mothers home-cooked food."  
> "I hate that Myungjun looks adorable in my clothes."  
> "I hate that Myungjun looks even more adorable sleeping in my bed."  
> "I have sex with Myungjun for fun. Nothing more an nothing less."  
> ...  
> Have you ever heard so much denial in your life? _._
> 
> BYUNGCHUL THINKING HE'S GOING TO CATCH 'THE GAY' LIKE A CHILD THINKING THEY'LL CATCH COOTIES FROM PLAYING KISS CHASE IN THE PLAYGROUND IM SO DEAD.


	5. What's Wrong With My Flower?

Something was wrong with Myungjun. Jinwoo was sure of it.  
Jinwoo visited him almost every night at the Camellia like usual, where he watched Myungjun dance on the main stage in his lingerie, before Jinwoo was dragging him towards one of the booths for his private dance and something more.  
Jinwoo had lost count of the amount of times they'd had sex now, but each time seemed to be better than the last.  
Jinwoo was addicted to their time alone in the hazy booths like it were some kind of drug. He experienced withdrawals on the nights that Myungjun was too busy with other bookings to see him, and he spent those nights wreaking havoc with Mortem in the city, in an attempt to distract himself, or fell into bed with yet another girl he wasn't at all interested in, in an attempt to feel _something_ again.  
Being with Myungjun made Jinwoo feel alive and he was starting to realise that that was a problem within itself.

However, the _bigger_ problem was the way Myungjun had been acting recently.  
He still greeted Jinwoo with smiles, and giggled happily whenever Jinwoo called him his flower, and still stripped Jinwoo with a hunger that rivalled Jinwoos own.   
But it was after the sex that things got weird.  
Myungjun always seemed to be in a hurry to leave now, even when Jinwoo knew for a fact he had no other clients to see.   
At first, Jinwoo tried to ignore it. But he found he couldn't quite ignore it any more when Myungjun wouldn't even let Jinwoo kiss him when they were finished.  
It was driving Jinwoo insane the more he tried to think about why Myungjun was treating him differently now. It didn't make sense. If anything, Jinwoo thought they would have become closer now, especially now that Mortem wasn't terrorising Myungjun at school anymore.  
He needed to find out what had caused this change in behaviour before it got any worse.  
~

Jinwoo watched with a frown as Myungjun crossed the booth to collect the lingerie Jinwoo had torn off of him an hour before.  
Trying to ignore the beautiful view of Myungjuns naked backside, Jinwoo cleared his throat to talk.  
“Where are you going? You always leave so fast.”  
“I have no reason to stay do I?” Myungjun asked with a shrug as he got dressed.   
Jinwoos anger flared but he bit it back. “What if I said I wanted to talk to you?”  
“Can it wait?”  
“No it can't. I know you have no more bookings today. Donghan hasn't come in to collect you so I know you have time.”  
Myungjun pulled his blood red work robe around himself and turned to Jinwoo with a smile that looked too forced to be genuine.  
“I do actually have a booking soon. I've started working as a companion.”  
Jinwoos entire stomach dropped and the booth suddenly felt much too small and airless.  
“You're what?” Jinwoo asked in disbelief. “You're having sex with other people? For money?”  
Myungjun just shrugged again.   
Jinwoo was on his feet and in front of Myungjun before he even knew what he was doing. His eyes searched Myungjuns face for any sign of this being a joke. He couldn't find a trace of amusement on his face at all. Just faint disinterest.   
Jinwoo felt sick.  
“Do you need money? Is that it?” Jinwoo asked trying to make sense of the situation.  
“No.”  
“Well then why?”  
“Because I want to. I have a lot of attractive clients, a lot of regulars, who I've come to know and trust. I wouldn't have to dance as much this way.”  
“But you like dancing.”  
Myungjun looked away from him.  
After a few seconds it became clear he wasn't going to answer.  
Jinwoo tried a different approach; “You shouldn't sell yourself like this.”  
“I sell myself to you.” Myungjun replied sharply. “I fuck you for a free cup of coffee don't I? At least my other clients will pay me properly for my time.”  
Jinwoo felt as if he'd been punched in the gut. He almost doubled over from the pain of it.   
Instead, he let out an angry huff of air and turned away to find his clothes and get dressed. He would gladly pay Myungjun properly for his time, but he enjoyed the giggles he received whenever Myungjun received his coupon. It was their joke, or at least Jinwoo had _thought_ that it was.  
“Fine. Fuck whoever you want. Its not like we're exclusive or anything.”  
A tense silence fell.

“Aren't you going to tip me?” Myungjun asked quietly a minute later.  
Whenever Jinwoo had heard that line before, it had made him laugh. But now...  
He slung his leather jacket over his shoulder and turned to the dancer.  
He approached him again, pulling his wallet out of the back pocket of his jeans and opened it up. His hand automatically went for the coupon he'd cut specifically for tonight but he paused and switched direction instead, pulling a thick wad of notes free and handing them over.  
Myungjuns eyebrows raised. “This is a lot of money.”  
“You were worth it. Just make sure you're worth it for the others too.”  
Jinwoo left the booth first, not even bothering to check Myungjuns reaction.   
He wanted to leave, to get out of this erotic place and clear his head, but his feet took him towards the bar instead.

Four drinks later and Jinwoo watched, feeling sick to his stomach, as Donghan led Myungjuns patron towards the both. A balding man who looked old enough to be his father.  
Myungjun appeared at the booths entrance with a bright smile on his face, as if he were genuinely pleased to see the client and he reached out to take the man's hand, leaning in to whisper something into his ear that made the older male grin.   
Jinwoo bit down hard on his tongue when the man reached around Myungjuns body to grab a handful of his ass. Jinwoo knew exactly how that ass felt and watching someone else have the pleasure of touching it was torture.  
Myungjun danced away from the man, face playful, as he lured him into the booth where the curtain was closed behind them, blocking them from view.  
Jinwoo only looked away when he caught Myungjuns bodyguard watching him.

Jinwoo didn't know how many drinks he'd consumed by the time the balding man finally stepped out of the booth looking more than satisfied, but all Jinwoo knew was that the world was starting to look a bit funny around the edges.  
Myungjun stepped out after him, readjusting his robe and standing on his tiptoes to give the man a quick kiss on his stubbly cheek.  
After the man handed over what looked like a white envelope to Myungjuns guard, he stroked Myungjuns cheek with a heavily ringed hand before stepping away and leaving the club.  
Jinwoo looked back over, after shooting daggers at the man's suited back, to see Donghan crouched down, peering into Myungjuns face. He had Myungjuns face cradled in his giant hands and they seemed to be conversing intensely. Myungjun nodded a lot until Donghans shoulders sagged with relief. They exchanged a few more words before they headed towards the staff room.

Jinwoo almost tripped on his way after them. The room was swaying unnaturally around him and he bumped into a few people, muttering apologies as he went.  
When he looked back up, he saw the door to the staff room closing and cursed. He approached it anyway and knocked loudly.  
The door swung open a few seconds later and Jinwoo came face to face with the clubs trainee clerk. Dongmin. Jinwoo was momentarily distracted by his gorgeous face before he shook his head clear and fixed his most intimidating expression into place.  
“I need to see Myungjun.”  
“You're Jinwoo right? I'm sorry but clients aren't allowed past this point. Myungjuns not here. But I'll gladly pass him a message.”  
“Bullshit!” Jinwoo growled. “I'm not fucking blind. I just saw him walk through this door!”  
Dongmin sighed. “I know. But he really isn't here. This isn't the only door in this room.”  
“Where the fuck is he then?”  
“He left out the back.”

That was all Jinwoo needed to hear. He raced out of the clubs main door and gasped as the cold air hit him in the face, sobering him almost immediately.   
There was an alleyway that led around to the back of the club and Jinwoo took off down it.  
He didn't know why he was chasing after Myungjun, to see if he was okay maybe, but all he knew was that he couldn't go home without seeing him one last time.  
 _Maybe I should apologise. I was being a dick again back there._  
With a new objective in mind, Jinwoo turned the last corner by the dumpsters and skidded to a stop at the sight he was met with.

Myungjun hadn't bothered getting changed. He was still in his lingerie, his fishnet clad legs wrapped around Donghans waist with his back pressed up against the wall.  
They were kissing as Myungjuns silky robe fluttered around them in the light breeze.   
Donghans hands were all over him, caressing him until Myungjun started to whimper and moan. His sounds of pleasure were shockingly loud in the quietness of the night and mixed with Donghans own grunts and groans as he started grinding him into the wall.  
When Myungjun started to fumble with the buttons of Donghans crisp, white dress shirt, Jinwoo turned and ran. He didn't get far before he bent over and threw up, the alcohol burning on the way back out of his body.

It suddenly all made sense. All of the times Myungjun had left immediately after he and Jinwoo had finished having sex, even when he had no other clients.   
He was fucking his bodyguard as well.   
Jinwoos head spun.   
How many people was Myungjun having sex with every night now? He was already onto his third and the night was only just getting started.   
Was that even safe?  
Why was Myungjun jumping from person to person like this?  
Was he addicted to sex? Is that why he'd started working as a companion?  
Too many questions bounced around in his skull as he wiped the vomit from the corners of his mouth with the back of his hand.  
“Shit.” Jinwoo groaned, straightening up and turning around yet again.  
No matter what sight he was met with, he needed to go back and stop them. Myungjun couldn't do this. It wasn't right. He was going to get hurt.

Jinwoo turned the corner, bracing himself for what he was about to see, only to find the alleyway empty.  
He stared down it dumbly for a few seconds.  
Had they already left?  
The shrill sound of a phone ringing made Jinwoo jump. He pulled his mobile from his pocket and looked down at the caller ID.  
 **Grey**  
Jinwoo answered it immediately. Grey never called unless it was an emergency.  
“What's up?”  
The longer Grey spoke, the angrier Jinwoo became, until Myungjun was pushed completely from his mind and he was running out of the alley as fast as his legs could carry him.  
~

Jinwoo looked around Mortems hideout, or what was left of it at least.  
The old couch was still smoking from where Grey had tried to put the fire out. The boxing bag hanging from the ceiling had been slashed by a knife and was still leaking sand. The pool table, that Jinwoo had acquired only weeks before, had been smashed into a heap of splinters and decorated with a smattering of glass from the shattered window above it. The air reeked of urine and Jinwoo was sure that the pile of faeces in the corner was human.

He knew exactly who the culprits were. They'd spray painted over Mortems signature tags along the walls with tags of their own. And the fact that they'd tagged the place at all told Jinwoo that they didn't care about getting caught. This was a blatant move of disrespect and it was a move that Jinwoo wouldn't tolerate.  
He didn't particularly care about any of the material items that had been trashed in the room, those were replaceable. But what he _did_ care about was what they had done to Grey.

“Why were you even here?” Jinwoo asked as he picked the lock to the nurses office and led Grey inside, making him sit down on one of the beds.  
“My parents kicked me out last month.” Grey mumbled, his voice almost unrecognisable. “I've been sleeping here ever since.”  
Jinwoo raided the cupboards for medical supplies and got to work patching up the cuts on Greys face. “Why the fuck didn't you tell me? We could have sorted something out. Even if you had to crash at mine for a while.”  
Grey winced as the antiseptic was brushed over the worst of his gashes.  
“This gang is the whole reason my parents kicked me out. I used to be a good boy remember? Eating all my greens, doing all my homework and aceing all my tests.” Grey replied sarcastically. “My parents found the marijuana I was holding for you and kicked me to the curb. Didn't even give me a chance to explain.”  
 _Great. Yet another thing for me to feel guilty about._  
“Let me guess. You didn't tell me because you knew I'd offer to help, and you didn't want my help because you're pissed at me?” Jinwoo asked bluntly as he pulled back to look at the swelling on Greys eyebrow. “Shit they got you good. Maybe you should go to the hospital.”  
“No hospitals.” Grey groaned as he reached for the hem of his shirt. “Don't freak out but I'm about to get half naked. I need you to look at my back.”  
“You didn't answer my question.” Jinwoo pointed out as Grey removed his shirt.   
“Do I really need to answer it?”  
Jinwoo snorted. “Guess not. I know it doesn't mean shit now, but I'm sorry. I only asked you to hold it for me because I didn't want to give my parents another reason to hate me. But instead, I got you into trouble with yours. I'll sort it for you, I promise.”

A silence enveloped them as Jinwoo worked on Greys battered body. The damage made Jinwoo angry. Grey was probably the weakest of Mortems members, more brains than muscle, so he had stood no chance at all against the vandals.  
“It was three separate gangs. You saw the tags. They're banding together to work against us.” Grey spoke up, breaking the silence as he pulled his shirt back on a while later.  
“I knew this would happen.” Jinwoo sighed, flopping down on one of the other beds. “Byungchul is our main muscle, my second-in-command, and with him away on a trip with his parents...shit. Of course the lower-ranking gangs would get brave now. They're probably planning to overthrow us and take over before Chul gets back.”  
“What are we going to do?” Grey already looked ready to give in.  
But Jinwoo couldn't. Not now. Not when he'd tried so hard to build and maintain Mortems formidable reputation. He'd sacrificed too much to let it all go to waste now.  
“I think its about time I reminded everyone why I'm Mortems leader, don't you think?”  
~

Jinwoos cheek burned.  
He had to give the woman credit; there was a lot of power behind that slap.  
But Jinwoo just stood there, on her doorstep, with the summer sun beating down on his leather-clad back, and took the blow without so much as a bat of an eyelash.  
He knew he deserved it.   
Grey tried to protest but Jinwoo held up a hand to silence him. That only served to make the woman angrier.

“You have my son trained like a dog! You should be ashamed of yourself! First you lure him into your gang and get him addicted to drugs, and now you've manipulated him into obeying your commands like he's some kind of pet?! Its young men like you who give this city a bad name!”  
Jinwoo sighed internally but kept the expression on his face calm and polite.  
“Ma'am, your son isn't addicted to drugs. He's never once used, not in my presence at least, and I highly doubt that he ever will. You know, as well as I do, that he's smarter than that. The marijuana you found in his room was mine. I asked him to hold onto it for me so that my parents wouldn't find out that I was smoking it. That was wrong of me.”  
“WRONG OF YOU?” The woman erupted.  
Grey stepped between them. “Stop shouting! The neighbours will hear.”  
They all instinctively looked around. An old couple walking past stared and muttered to each other under their breaths.  
Greys mother was flushed by the time Jinwoo turned back to her; her cheeks ablaze with the embarrassment of possibly tarnishing her reputation with her neighbours.   
She spoke angrily again, almost in a whisper.  
“Of course it was wrong of you to use my son as a storage for your filthy drugs! I should call your parents. No. I should call the _police_!”  
Grey groaned and pulled his mother back to the door when she tried to go back inside, probably to find a phone.  
“Calling the police will only give people more reason to gossip about you.” Jinwoo said evenly, sensing her weakness.  
She seemed to be struggling for words. The look on her face was thunderous.  
“Fine! Call your parents. I'd like to speak to them about this. If you don't, I really will have no choice but to call the police.”  
Jinwoo was sure she didn't really want to do that, but he was also sure he didn't want to involve his parents in this mess even more.  
The woman saw something in Jinwoos face that made her smirk. She had Jinwoo cornered and they both knew it.

If Jinwoo didn't call his parents then he'd face the police. Again. He was already treading on thin ice where the law was concerned. He was sure he'd run out of cautions a long time ago.  
What had that policeman told him last time?  
 _One more crime Jinwoo and you'll be banged up _?  
Yeah. Something like that. One more crime and he'd be going straight to the cells.  
That idea didn't appeal to him at all. All Jinwoo could think about was if he was locked up, he wouldn't be able to visit the Camellia anymore. He wouldn't be able to see Myungjun.  
His insides twisted uncomfortably. Why was Myungjun always his first thought?__

__Jinwoo made up his mind and pulled out his phone, dialling the first number on his speed dial.  
“Yeah it's me...”  
~_ _

__With a pounding headache, Jinwoo slid into the back seat of his parents car. He was tempted to just ignore their orders of him going straight home with them, and instead making his own way through the city to give himself some time to recover from the hell of a mess that that encounter had been, but he chose to do the right thing for once. If he rebelled against his parents now he was sure they'd never forgive him._ _

__The cars engine revved to life as his father pulled away from the curb with more force than what was necessary, momentarily pressing Jinwoo backwards into his seat.  
The journey home was silent and uncomfortable at best.  
Jinwoos mother opened the car door for him when they finally pulled up in the driveway and gave him a wavering smile as he stepped out.   
She sure had a knack for making Jinwoo feel worse.  
He trudged into the house behind his father and the second the door was closed behind them Jinwoo braced himself.  
This was it. This was where his parents finally lost it with him, finally stopped being so calm and understanding about everything he did wrong. This was where they finally told him they could no longer deal with their screw up of a son now that he was a drug user too._ _

__Except all his parents did was lead him into the kitchen and sit down at the table looking drained.  
His mothers nervous eyes flitted between the two males at the table. Jinwoo had his head in is hands, the pain in his skull turning into a throbbing ache that crept down his neck.  
“Jinwoo...” His fathers voice was definitely strained. “Why? Why are you doing this to us? We've done everything for you. Given you everything you ever wanted and more. Accepted every single part of you wholeheartedly and encouraged you in all of your endeavours whenever you needed the support. You've got a roof over your head, hot meals in your stomach and a comfy bed to sleep in. You have everything. So why? Why are you acting out like this? Getting involved in gangs, violence, vandalism and now drugs? Explain it to us son. Tell us where we went wrong.”_ _

__Tears stung at Jinwoos eyes as he heard his fathers voice crack and he buried his face further into his hands to hide them.  
“There's nothing to explain.” He forced the words out, trying to keep his voice steady. “You didn't do anything wrong.”  
A warm hand landed on Jinwoos back. He immediately recognised it as his mothers. It was strange. She hadn't touched him in such a comforting way in a long time. He hadn't let her. But right now he found the words telling her to get off of him stuck in his throat.  
“If we didn't do anything wrong then tell us why you've changed, what's pushed you towards this life. Was it peer pressure? Did your friends push you into this?”  
Jinwoo could have laughed if the situation wasn't so serious.  
The frustration rose inside of him. Something as trivial as peer pressure didn't push him into the gang life.  
 _He_ was the one who created Mortem. _He_ was the one who recruited his friends to its ranks.  
“No-one pushed me into this. I _chose_ this life.” Jinwoo pulled his hands away from his face. His parents were staring at him with concern in their eyes.  
“Honey don't cry.” His mothers hand travelled up and down his back in what she probably thought was a soothing gesture. “What do you mean you chose it? You chose to be in a gang? Why? Were you being bullied?”_ _

__That was the final straw. He was receiving comfort he didn't deserve and he was getting too close to opening up and revealing what he'd tried to keep hidden for too long._ _

__Jinwoo stood up fast, sending his chair scraping backwards along the tiled floor. He scrubbed angrily at his eyes. He hadn't cried in front of his parents in years. It was embarrassing.  
“It doesn't matter why I chose it! The fact is; I'm a thug, Mortems leader, a criminal, a drug addict, _a fucking screw up_! I'm a bad son, I know I am, and you both know I am too! So just STOP. Stop comforting me, stop accepting all of the bad shit I do, stop covering for me with the police when they come knocking, stop being nice to me, making me meals every night, checking on me to make sure I've come home safe, texting me those stupid fucking encouraging quotes whenever I have shitty exams. JUST STOP.” Jinwoos chest was heaving and he was sure he looked crazy. “Why can't you just scream at me? Tell me I'm a horrible person? Tell me you hate me?”_ _

__“Its because you're our son that we could never hate you.” His father spoke up quietly, still looking infuriatingly understanding, as if it were okay for Jinwoo to be losing his temper like this. “We're your parents Jinwoo. We'll love you no matter what you do, no matter who you are. You know that. Screaming at you isn't going to make you listen to us. And you're not a horrible person either. You could never be a horrible person.”  
Jinwoo did laugh this time. A self-deprecating sound.  
“You really don't know me at all do you? Remember the boy who stayed over? Myungjun? I bullied him for years. _Years_. I hurt him, called him a dirty fag, humiliated him in front of the entire school time and time again. _I am a horrible person._ ”  
His mother had gone pale. His fathers jaw squared.  
It was silent for a few seconds before his mother finally animated again.  
“But he came here Jinwoo. With you. He spoke to us about you, was _interested_ in you. He wouldn't have done that if he believed you were a horrible person. And that alone tells us you're not. He clearly forgives you for what you've done to him...so why can't you do the same?”  
Jinwoo didn't have an answer for that. His mouth opened and closed soundlessly. She was telling him to forgive himself? How had the conversation even reached this point?  
“I'm tired.” Jinwoo rubbed at his temples. “And I have a headache. I'm going to bed.”  
He turned to leave but his father called him back.  
“Park Jinwoo we're not finished. We need to talk about the reason we were called out to get you today. The marijuana.”  
Jinwoo grimaced. “I won't do it again.” _I won't ever get caught doing it again_.   
Jinwoo had no intentions of giving up one of his crutches. Getting high was one of his escapes. When he was high he was relaxed, stress-free, completely incapable of worrying about anything. And he certainly had a lot of things to worry about. It was borderline crippling most days and sometimes a smoke was the only thing that kept him from being crushed under the weight._ _

__He was finally dismissed from the conversation after making a bunch of promises he knew he wouldn't keep and he dragged himself to his room where he collapsed on the bed, not even bothering to remove his shoes.  
A text came through on his phone and he pulled it free to check who it was._ _

__**From: Grey. 20:15PM**   
**My parents are letting me move back in, but I had to promise to leave Mortem. Sorry. Thanks for everything you've done for me.** _ _

__Jinwoo cursed and launched his phone across the room.  
His main muscle was away on holiday and now his brains had just left. This couldn't have come at a worse time.   
The schools lower-ranking gangs were revolting against him and Myungjun was treating him like he was just another random fuck.  
“What am I going to do?” Jinwoo groaned into his pillow, feeling the weight of the world pressing him down against the mattress.  
He only had a weekend to figure it out._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Myungjun last chap: "I have an idea to make Jinwoo notice me."  
> Myungjun this chapter: …???  
> Is he trying to make Jinwoo realise how good Jinwoo had it when Myungjun was his flower and his flower only?  
> Or is he straight up trying to make Jinwoo jealous?  
> Or has he realised Jinwoo and him can't happen so he's trying to move on before he just gets hurt again?  
> EVEN I DON'T KNOW YET AHHHHSKSJIDNFN  
> Me=a chaotic writer. I have no idea what's happening tbh.


	6. Coffee and Flowers.

“That one over there. In front of the locker” Grey muttered, pointing to a boy with sand coloured hair. “He's the one that...you know.” Grey wrinkled his nose in disgust. “I've gotta go Jin. I really can't be seen with you anymore. If my parents find out...”  
Jinwoo shot him a smile. “I get it. You've done more then enough for me anyway. Me and Bin will take it from here. Good luck on your test.”  
Grey smiled back before opening up his study notes and rushing off.  
Jinwoo had to admire his dedication. Grey had been studying hard the last few days to win back his parents trust and Jinwoo had full faith that he'd pass this test with flying colours.  
When he realised he was smiling at the thought he quickly erased the expression from his lips.  
_When the fuck did I start becoming so soft?_

Jinwoo cracked his knuckles and rolled his neck, turning his mind back to the matter at hand and gestured for Bin to follow him.  
The other students quickly moved out of his path and he made sure to bump shoulders with some of the slower ones, sending them stumbling and feeling relieved when no-one challenged him in return. That was a good sign. It meant that the revolutionist attitude hadn't yet spread from the three gangs who trashed Mortems hangout.  
And speaking of the gangs...

As soon as the sandy haired boy saw Jinwoo coming, he tried to run.  
Bin caught him by the collar of his blazer and swung him around into Jinwoos waiting hands.  
Jinwoo slammed him up against the lockers and paid particular attention to the gasps and chatter around him. 

He needed people to watch this display, almost as much as he needed to execute it. He needed people to see that Mortem couldn't, and wouldn't, tolerate being messed with.  
Just because Byungchul was absent, didn't mean that Jinwoo couldn't handle things alone.  
Jinwoo knew that he'd brought this upon himself. He'd spent too long sending other people to do his dirty work for him and it had clearly made people doubt his power.  
It was about time he reminded people why he was crowned Mortems leader in the first place.

The boy struggled in Jinwoos grasp, almost breaking free, so Jinwoo slammed him back up against the locker with a forearm across his throat this time, choking him momentarily as a warning for him to stop.  
The boy spluttered and choked but stopped fighting.  
Jinwoo relieved some of the pressure on his airway.  
“I have a message for you and the rest of the scumbags who tried to trash our place.” Jinwoo growled straight into his terrified face. He delivered a sharp, solid punch to his gut, winding the guy and making him gasp in pain. “If you want to continue breathing properly, you better keep off of our turf. And if you, or any of the others, so much as look Grey's way, I'll rip your fucking lungs straight out of your chest and give you a real reason to struggle for air. Understand?”  
A quick, sharp nod.  
“Good. Spread the message; if anyone fucks with Mortem, they're dead.”  
Jinwoo pretended to let him go, before grabbing him again and dropping his voice to a deadly whisper.  
“And if I ever catch you shitting anywhere other than a toilet again I'll pin you down and make you eat it. Filthy fucking bastard.”  
He really did let him go this time and watched, satisfied, as the sandy head of hair disappeared round the nearest corner.

“Hopefully a quick scare like that is enough to keep the others at bay.” Jinwoo sighed as he entered the gymnasium with Bin ten minutes later.  
They entered Mortems hideout and looked around. The broken window had been bordered up, the burnt couch dragged outside and discarded near the dumpsters, and all of the other furniture that had been trashed had been removed.  
The tags were still on the walls and there was still the faint scent of urine, but it looked a lot better now.  
“Go and round up the others, you know, the ones who hang with Chul. Take them to raid the cleaners supplies. We'll need a bucket and mop, bleach, hot water and some cloths. After we've cleaned up this place, and sprayed over these tags, we'll raid the teachers lounge again for a new couch.”  
Bin accepted his orders and rushed away.  
Jinwoo waited until he heard the gymnasiums main door slam shut before he slumped backwards against the nearest wall with a sigh.  
One problem down, a thousand more to go.  
~

Jinwoo grinned down at the shiny new drivers license in his hand.  
He'd been driving illegally for a while now so the tests were beyond easy and he'd passed both theory and practical first time with flying colours.  
This license meant that there would be no more furtive glances in the wing mirrors, worrying about getting caught by the police for driving without one.  
That was another weight off of his shoulders.

The honk of a horn made Jinwoo look up and he grinned bright and wide when he saw Byungchul stepping out.  
It had been a long week without him.  
“What do you think?” Byungchul asked with a grin of his own as he patted the cars matte black roof.  
“Its nice.” Nice was an understatement. It was gorgeous. Sleek and stylish, exactly Jinwoos style. “Where'd you get it?”  
Byungchuls grin turned wicked and Jinwoo immediately knew that he'd stolen it.  
“Don't worry, a fresh paint job and some new plates has made this baby unrecognisable and also...” Byungchul tossed the keys at him. Jinwoo caught them in one hand and stared at him in disbelief. Byungchul laughed. “Congrats on passing. My gift.”  
“And THIS is why you're my best friend. You just get me.” Jinwoo rushed round to slip into the drivers seat, relishing in the smell of new leather and the hint of cherries from the cars air freshener.  
Byungchul was laughing as he climbed into the passenger seat. “It's good to be back. My parents were doing my head in. What did I miss?”  
“What didn't you miss?” Jinwoo groaned. “Let's go for a drink. I'll tell you all about it on the way.”  
~

After looking around to make sure no-one else was nearby, Jinwoo ran after the boy in the sweater and pulled him behind the nearest tree.  
Myungjun squealed in surprise and swept the hair off of his glasses. His eyes widened.  
“Jinwoo? What the-”  
Jinwoo shushed him and peered around the tree when he heard voices. People were still spilling out of the school on their way home and Jinwoo knew he had to make this quick.  
He looked back at Myungjun and held back a shiver as their eyes met.  
“Are you working tonight?”  
“No. Why?”  
Jinwoo had known already that Myungjun wasn't working, he'd memorized Myungjuns schedule a long time ago, but it was still relieving to hear his confirmation.  
“Good. Meet me at the bus stop over there in two hours. Wear your hair up and ditch the glasses.”  
“Wait, what? Why? Jinwoo I-”  
Jinwoo silenced him with a quick kiss, feeling his heart beating a mile a minute. He hadn't kissed Myungjun outside of the club before. It was beyond risky to do it out in the open like this. That somehow made it even more exciting.  
Myungjun was blushing when Jinwoo pulled away.  
“Please come.” Jinwoos eyes begged him before he turned away and hurried off, throwing his hood up and over his head.  
~

“You can drive?” Myungjun asked in surprise as Jinwoo pulled up in front of the bus stop exactly two hours later.  
Jinwoo just nodded and gestured for him to get in.  
Myungjun looked adorable in a fluffy, baby-blue jumper and white jeans. He'd done what Jinwoo asked and pulled his hair back away from his face and replaced his frames with his contacts. Myungjun the nerd was no longer recognisable.  
“Where are we going?” Myungjun asked as Jinwoo sped off up the road, swerving past cars. “And can you stop driving like a maniac? I want to live another day thanks.”  
Jinwoo laughed, feeling the adrenaline coursing through his veins as he took another corner at speed.  
“I'm a good driver. You're safe with me. Promise.”  
It didn't take long before they were past city limits and flying past rolling hills and wide expanses of green.  
“Jinwoo where are we going?” Myungjun asked again, sounding worried now.  
Jinwoo looked over to see that he was clinging to his seatbelt with white knuckles.  
“Coffee.”  
Myungjun looked over at him and blinked. “Coffee?”  
“Coffee.” Jinwoo repeated. “You like coffee, so I'm taking you for coffee. Problem?”  
“Well...no.” Myungjun mumbled, settling back into his seat again.  
Jinwoo grinned and looked back at the road in front of them, overtaking a car that was driving too slow.  
A few minutes of silence later and Myungjun was speaking again, sounding adorably confused still.  
“Why are we leaving the city if we're going for coffee? There's plenty of coffee shops back there.”  
“No-one will recognise us in the next city over.” Jinwoo answered with a shrug.  
Jinwoo risked another glance in Myungjuns direction and saw that he was frowning, his eyes fixed firmly ahead.  
“What's wrong?” Jinwoo asked, slowing the car down a little.  
“Nothing.” Myungjun answered, pursing his lips.  
“There's obviously something wrong. Tell me.”  
Myungjun sighed irritably and turned to face him. There was a fire brewing behind those dark eyes.  
“You asked me to change my appearance so that no-one would recognise me. And you're taking me out of the city so that no-one sees us together.”  
“Well...obviously.” Jinwoo replied, not understanding what the problem was.  
Myungjun huffed and turned to look back out of the window again. “Forget it. Let's just make this quick. I promised Donghan I'd meet up with him tonight too.”  
Jinwoos hands tightened on the wheel and his teeth felt ready to crack with how hard his jaw had just clenched.

Donghan again.  
Had Myungjun dressed this cutely for Donghans sake and not Jinwoos?  
Was Myungjun going there to have sex with him again?  
That was one of the reasons Jinwoo had wanted to ask him out for coffee; to talk to him about what he saw the other night down the alley.  
Choosing a coffee shop in a different city meant that Myungjun couldn't run away from him, he couldn't ignore Jinwoos questions.  
Jinwoo was determined to get answers today. He'd spent too many nights tossing and turning, wondering why the hell Myungjun had started sleeping around.  
His main worry was that Myungjun wasn't satisfied enough when they had sex, so he went to find it elsewhere.  
And Donghan was apparently that elsewhere.

Something about the older male didn't sit right with Jinwoo. What sort of bodyguard tried to get into the pants of the person they were supposed to be protecting? He was basically taking advantage of Myungjun.  
Donghan was tall, built like a ox and dangerously handsome with his sharp but strong features and perfect hair. The perfect predator.  
Jinwoo hated him.

The rest of the journey was made in a silence that crackled with an obvious tension.  
After finding somewhere to park his car, Jinwoo walked around to the passenger side to open the door and helped Myungjun out.  
Myungjun thanked him quietly and they made their way into the coffee shop where Jinwoo asked him to find a seat whilst he got their drinks.  
He was surprised to hear that Myungjun wanted a black coffee with no sugar. Myungjun seemed like the type of person to want something complicated and sugary.  
Jinwoo relayed their orders to a boy who looked much too young to be a barista and carried them over to the table by the window that Myungjun had chosen.  
Myungjun thanked him again when he accepted his drink and raised an eyebrow at Jinwoos.  
“What?” Jinwoo asked with a scowl.  
“You seem like a black coffee type of guy.” Myungjun answered with a shrug and a small smile. It was the first smile he had shown since he'd first climbed into Jinwoos car and the small quirk of his lips was enough to make Jinwoo relax.  
“I like sweet things.” Jinwoo replied, watching Myungjun as he took a sip. The perfect amount of sugar to keep him alert.  
“I suppose that's why you like me then. I'm a sweetheart.” Myungjun teased, a proper smile on his face now.  
Jinwoo just snorted.  
The silence enveloped them again but this time it was a comfortable one.  
Jinwoo was halfway through his drink, and lost in his thoughts as he watched the different types of people pass by the window outside when Myungjuns voice brought him back to reality.  
“Why did you ask me out for coffee?”  
Jinwoo took another sip of his drink.  
“Did you really mean what you said? That you sell yourself to me, fucking me for a free cup of coffee and that it wasn't a good enough payment for your time?”  
Myungjun looked embarrassed. “I guess...sort of? You do pay me in coupons instead of cash. But I think I might have given you the wrong idea about that. I look forward to payment time _because_ you give me a coupon. Its so ridiculous and unlike any of my other clients. It's like...our thing.” Myungjun looked up at him shyly.  
_Our thing_. Jinwoos skin tingled. So it hadn't just been him thinking that.  
“Why are you smiling like that?” Myungjun asked, cutting Jinwoos thoughts short.  
“No reason. I have another question.”  
“Which is?”  
“What's going on between you and Donghan?”  
Jinwoo watched Myungjun closely, noting the way Myungjun almost choked on his drink, the way the tips of his ears turned red and the way his eyes darted to his phone and back to his cup again.  
“He's my bodyguard and my dance teacher.”  
“Wait, he's your dance teacher too?”  
Myungjun nodded, looking up at Jinwoo with a frown. “Didn't I already tell you that?”  
Jinwoo tried to think back but drew a blank. “If you did I forgot.”  
“Well now you know. He's also my best friend, my personal driver and I use his apartment to make my lingerie. Although I won't need to be doing that there anymore soon. So yes. That's what's going on between me and Donghan.”  
Jinwoo could just tell that Myungjun was hiding something and decided to push a little further.  
“And romantically?”  
Myungjun started to chew on his bottom lip, eyes dropping down to his cup again.  
“I used to like him. A long time ago now. And at one point it looked like things might actually happen between us but then...it just didn't. Donghan will always been special to me, someone I go to when I'm in trouble or need comforting, but that's all it will ever be. He's made sure of that.”  
Myungjun sounded so sincere, but it didn't coincide with what Jinwoo had seen down the alleyway that night. Was Donghans version of comforting him grinding him into the wall behind a sex club? Would Myungjun let him do that because of the way he used to feel about him?  
“I think Donghans taking advantage of you.” Jinwoo growled, feeling his anger rising.  
Myungjun looked at him seeming genuinely surprised.  
“Taking advantage of me? Why would you say that? If anything, I'm the one taking advantage of him. He does so much for me and I hardly do anything for him in return.”  
Oh. So that was it. Because Donghan did so much, Myungjun thought he had to let him use his body. The fact that Myungjun always handed over his money to Donghan after he saw a client was also suspicious.  
A thought suddenly struck him and Jinwoo gasped before reaching across the table to take Myungjuns hand.  
“Is Donghan the reason you became a companion? He wanted you to make him more money in repayment for everything he does for you? Myungjun that's manipulation!”  
Myungjun just looked even more confused now and opened his mouth to reply but was interrupted by the arrival of the boyish barista from before.

“Hello!” He whispered excitedly, looking down at their entwined fingers. “You two make a really cute couple. I'm so jealous.” He pouted but brightened up when he noticed the plate in his hand. He placed it down between them. “This is for you! On the house. I rarely get to see gay couples in here and it always makes me happy.”  
“We're not-”  
“This looks delicious!” Myungjun gushed, cutting Jinwoo off and looking at the cake like it was the most incredible thing he'd ever seen. “Can we really have this?”  
“Of course! I made this myself!”  
Myungjun looked up at the boy and smiled. “Wow that's really impressive. What's your name?”  
“It's right...where'd my name tag go?” The boy whined, patting his plain apron. “Oh no, the boss is going to kill me!” He sighed and looked back at Myungjun with a smile. “My name is Sanha. Yoon Sanha.”  
“I'm Kim Myungjun, and this is Jinwoo. Its nice to meet you Sanha. Thank you for the cake. I'm sure we'll enjoy it.” he said kindly.  
Jinwoo looked between them feeling something hot boil in his stomach.  
_I'm not jealous_.  
“Oh! Can I get a picture with you?” Myungjun blurted out his question as Sanha turned to leave.  
Sanha looked a bit puzzled by the request but agreed and posed cutely beside him as Myungjun snapped the picture.  
The boiling in Jinwoos stomach only got worse.

When Sanha was gone, Myungjun spent the next couple of minutes looking down at his phone and giggling to himself as he tapped rapidly on the screen.  
Jinwoo could no longer hold it in.  
“Why are you interested in a scrawny dork like that?” He spat.  
Myungjun froze, his giggles ceasing. Jinwoo immediately wanted to take it back.  
When Myungjuns eyes met Jinwoos they were ice cold.  
“In case you've forgotten; _I'm_ a dork too. Remember? You certainly didn't let me forget it before. And if you must know, I'm not interested in him like that, but I know a guy who would be. I asked for the picture so that I could send it to him.”  
Jinwoo breathed out feeling relieved. “I'm sorry. I don't know why I called him that. He seems like a decent kid. Although he certainly has the wrong idea about us.”  
Jinwoo laughed awkwardly, trying to lighten the atmosphere. He received nothing but a tight smile in return.  
~

It wasn't until Jinwoo pulled up outside of Myungjuns house that he realised he'd never gotten his answer about what he'd seen that night in the alleyway.  
Myungjun was making no moves to get out of his car so Jinwoo decided to try again. He turned to face the dancer properly, trying not to get distracted by his fluffy sweater paws.  
“Just because Donghan does a lot for you, doesn't mean you need to let him use you like this. You're worth more than that.”  
Myungjuns eyebrows knitted together.  
“Jinwoo I still have no idea what you're talking about.”  
Jinwoo sighed in frustration. He didn't know whether Myungjun was purposefully playing dumb, or if he was just too naïve to see what Donghan was doing to him.  
“Its not right for him to take all of your money, to force you to become a companion, to use your body for his own pleasure whenever he feels like you owe it to him.”  
Myungjuns mouth dropped open.  
“I'm sorry what? Use my body? Take my money? Where the hell did you get those ideas from? Didn't you listen to me earlier? I said that Donghan was the reason me and him never ended up together. He was the one to stop it before things got serious. He thinks he's too old for me. Even now. He'd never take advantage of me like that. And I only give him my money because I can't take it home without my parents getting suspicious, and I can't take sums like that straight to the bank or _they'd_ get suspicious. He only holds it for me. He never takes any for himself.”  
Jinwoo decided to just ask his question outright. This was just getting confusing.  
“I saw you, with Donghan, the night you became a companion. I saw you down the alleyway.”  
Jinwoo had expected Myungjun to get flustered, to try to deny it immediately, or maybe even get angry at being spied on.  
What Jinwoo _hadn't_ expected was for Myungjun to be looking at him like he was crazy.  
“I never went down any alleyways with Donghan. He drove me home at the usual time. We didn't walk.”  
“I'm not talking about after your shift. I'm talking about during. You had your first client, then left out the back of the staffroom. So I went around the side of the building and saw you and Donghan kissing.”  
Myungjuns eyes widened. “Kissing? Jinwoo you must have seen someone else. Donghan would never kiss me. And anyway, after my first client I went to the staff room to get changed and then came out to dance on the main stage again. You can ask anyone.”  
“But...Dongmin told me you'd gone out the back!”  
Myungjun suddenly smiled sheepishly. “I told him to say that if you came looking for me. Donghan told me you'd been drinking a lot that night and honestly, I didn't know how you were going to act towards me.” Myungjuns smile slowly disappeared. “Just how much did you drink anyway?”  
Jinwoo knew what he was thinking, because Jinwoo was now thinking it too.  
Had he drunk so much that he'd hallucinated seeing them down the alleyway? It would explain how they'd managed to disappear so quickly. He wouldn't have entertained that thought at all if it had only been drink he'd taken that night. But he'd smoked marijuana too. He remembered it clearly.  
“So you really didn't kiss him?” Jinwoo asked after a few more minutes of silence.  
Myungjun shook his head. “I swear it.”  
Jinwoo groaned aloud and slumped back against the leather seat.  
“I must have been fucked out of my face.”  
“Why did you drink so much anyway?” Myungjun asked, eyeing him curiously. “Were you annoyed at me for becoming a companion?”  
Jinwoo scowled. He'd never admit that. “No. I just wanted to drink, that's all. And why the fuck did you become a companion anyway? And don't give me the same bullshit excuses you gave me in the booth. Tell me the truth. Are you addicted to sex? Is that why? Or are you just not satisfied having sex with me?”  
Myungjun spluttered out a laugh. “You think I'm addicted to sex? I suppose that's an acceptable guess. Although you thinking that you don't satisfy me, isn't.”  
“So I do? Satisfy you I mean.” Jinwoo asked, trying to keep the hopeful tone from his voice.  
Myungjun giggled. “Definitely. I can't believe you were worried about that. You're really insecure aren't you?”  
Jinwoo scowled and leaned over to undo Myungjuns belt. “You can leave now...Wait. You can go after you've told me why you became a companion.”  
“If you won't tell me the real reason you got drunk at the club, I won't tell you the real reason I broadened my horizons.” Myungjun winked at him before scrambling out of the car and rushing up the path to his house.  
He turned back to wave at Jinwoo before disappearing inside.  
Jinwoo just stared at the closed door for a few seconds. “Asshole...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally introduced all of Astro uwu  
> Jinwoo=Leader of Mortem  
> Myungjun=Nerdy Camellia  
> Minhyuk=Myungjuns bestie/dance class partner  
> Dongmin= Trainee clerk in The Camellia  
> Moonbin=Member of Mortem  
> Sanha=Cutesy barista who treats boys on dates with free cake.


	7. Ren The Budding Transfer Student.

Jinwoo slammed the car door shut and leaned forwards to rest his forehead against the steering wheel.  
That had been beyond embarrassing.  
When he felt ready, which wasn't for at least another five minutes, he looked down at the leaflet in his hand.  
**Recovery skills and Tools of recovery.**  
Speaking to his doctor about his addiction to marijuana hadn't been something Jinwoo would have ever thought he would have done.  
But after realising he'd hallucinated the whole encounter with Myungjun and Donghan down the alleyway, Jinwoo had realised that his unhealthy habits had to stop.  
He'd never wanted to get involved in drugs and drink in the first place but it had seemed to come with the territory of being gang leader.

So when Jinwoo received the text;

**From: Chul. 10:31am**  
**You coming back to school? Had to get my fists bloody again and need a smoke. Will wait for you if you want in.**

he just grimaced and typed a quick confirmation of his return to school, but also a refusal for the offered drug-induced gathering.  
Hearing that the schools other gangs were still revolting against them, despite Byungchuls terrifying presence being back now, was beginning to stress Jinwoo beyond measure.  
All the gangs knew what it meant to be on top. It wasn't just power and notoriety, it was responsibility and danger, sacrifice and hard work.  
No-one else would be able to handle it like Jinwoo did, he was sure of it. The previous gang on top certainly hadn't. Which is why Jinwoo had had to overthrow them in the first place. They'd had an important job to do, which they hadn't been doing properly, so Jinwoo had stepped in to take over, sacrificing more then he would have liked and dealing with those losses through the abuse of drink and drugs.  
So maybe Jinwoo wasn't handling it as well as he'd like to think, but at least things were different now, at least there was some sort of order.  
An order that the idiots of his school were threatening to dismantle.  
They surely knew the consequences of such disorder, so why were they doing this?

Jinwoo growled angrily and smacked at the steering wheel before reversing out of the lot and speeding off towards the school.  
~

The unrest at school only seemed to worsen as the weeks progressed.  
Bold attempts to attack Jinwoo directly were becoming more common but were also always dissolved immediately. Jinwoo was strong and more than capable of defending himself, all whilst reminding everyone that he was still the top dog.  
He reminded them time and time again of his strength and was constantly putting people back in their places.

So much so, that on one particular morning, Jinwoo was called to the heads office.  
He sat across the desk from the older man, with his arms crossed and a scowl on his face.  
“Why am I here?” Jinwoo asked, knowing exactly why.  
“There were three separate reports this morning of cars being vandalised in the schools lot. Naturally the students who own said cars are rather upset. They claim to have seen you, Mr Moon and a few others at the scene.” The headteacher was watching him closely, his fingers steepled. “We both know you have a history of criminal damage here Jinwoo.”  
“If you're looking for a confession, you won't get one.” Jinwoo shrugged. “It wasn't us. If we were 'caught on the scene', it was merely coincidence. I drive to school, so I was there to park my car, nothing more. Do you even have any proof? CCTV?”  
Jinwoo knew that there was no CCTV in the lot and smirked inwardly.  
The man across from him sighed. “We do not. It's simply their word against yours. I will be asking the students if they wish to involve the police in this matter, so if you really had nothing to do with it, then you have nothing to worry about. You may go.”  
Jinwoo left, already concocting a plan to silence everyone involved.

He was so lost in thought that he didn't see the figure coming towards him until they bumped straight into each other.  
Out of reflex, Jinwoo immediately went on the defensive.  
“What the fu-”  
“S-Sorry.” Myungjun whimpered, voice sounding pained.  
He shook Jinwoos hands off, clutched his books closer to his chest and quickly hurried away.  
Jinwoo watched him go, his eyes narrowing slightly at the way Myungjuns steps looked slightly out of balance. Was Myungjun limping?  
Jinwoo looked around to make sure no-one was nearby before chasing after him.  
Like this, Myungjun was the perfect prey and only one thing came to Jinwoos mind; he had to protect him.

When Jinwoo reached him, he pulled Myungjun into an empty classroom, clamping a hand down over Myungjuns mouth to stop his shout of surprise.  
“It's just me.” Jinwoo reassured him, closing the door behind them.  
When Jinwoo looked back at Myungjun, his heart squeezed tightly in his chest.  
Myungjun was trembling and closed in on himself, trying to make himself look as small as possible.  
“Hey. Look at me.” Jinwoo urged softly, unable to hide the concern in his voice.  
Myungjun looked up, giving Jinwoo a clear view of his face and Jinwoo gasped in horror.  
There was no doubt about it, Myungjun had just been attacked, violently by the looks of it and the damage didn't end at his face. It was over the hands he was holding his books with, and his leg was clearly causing him some trouble as he was trying not to put too much weight on it.  
Jinwoo was in shock, his brain whirring.  
“Who did this?” Jinwoo asked. His voice sounded surprisingly calm to his ears.  
But inside, he was far from it.  
Myungjun broke down, the names he gave punctuated by choked sobs.  
“...t-they said that they wanted a t-taste of your old...old _hobby_.” Myungjun sniffled. “Bullying me is a game to them. It's been getting worse recently.” Myungjun suddenly stepped forwards, one of his shaking hands grabbing the front of Jinwoos shirt. The eyes behind his glasses shone with desperation. “Please go back to the way things were.” He begged. “If you bully me then they'll leave me alone! I'd rather _you_ struck me. Your bullying was never this cruel. It hurts Jinwoo.”  
A fresh wave of tears overcame him and Myungjun stumbled away to sit down at one of the empty desks, burying his face in his hands.  
Jinwoo couldn't believe what he was hearing.  
“How long has this been happening?” He asked, distracting himself from the pure fury brewing inside of him by searching around in his bag for the first aid kit he'd learnt to carry.  
“A w-while.”  
“You should have told me. I'm going to fucking kill them. All of them.” Jinwoos hands were shaking as he placed the small box on the desk and it took a few tries to open it.  
Myungjun didn't say anything. He just continued to cry silently as Jinwoo patched him up.

The last of the bandages went on Myungjuns damaged wrist. Jinwoos heart ached at Myungjuns quiet whimper of relief when it was finally over.  
“I'll never hurt you again. So don't you dare ask me to start bullying you now. I refuse.” Jinwoo whispered. He reached out to brush his fingertips gently down Myungjuns cheek. “I'll handle it. Take the day off school tomorrow. You won't want to be here.”  
“What are you going to do?” Myungjun asked quietly, his eyes full of worry.  
Jinwoo gave him a small smile. “I'll do what I do best. You should leave early today too. At the end of this corridor there's an emergency exit. Go down those stairs, take the first left you see and you'll be out in the car park. Get someone to pick you up from there.”  
He helped Myungjun to the door and watched him go.  
~

Jinwoo knew the second his eyes met the teachers that he was suspended.  
He probably shouldn't have started the fight in the cafeteria of all places, but as soon as he'd seen Myungjuns new bullies, queueing for their food and laughing as if they had no other care in the world, Jinwoo had lost it.  
The first one went down after Jinwoo hit him over the head with one of the metal lunch trays and Jinwoo dived at the second with a feral growl, the anger coursing through him like fire, fuelling his need to draw blood.  
There were too many of them for Jinwoo to realistically take on alone, but he didn't care.  
Eventually the fight had been broken up and Jinwoo was escorted away.

He accepted his suspension but then proceeded to spend the next week worrying about how Myungjun was doing in school now. Had the bullies left him alone? Jinwoo had certainly made it clear to them that they needed to stay away from his toy.  
Myungjun hadn't shown up at work the entire week and Jinwoo didn't have his number so he couldn't call or text him to ask how he was.  
He didn't want to just turn up unannounced at his house either, especially when he knew that Myungjun lived in an area Jinwoo would easily be recognised in. He couldn't risk it.

When the next Monday finally rolled around, Jinwoo was pulling up in the school parking lot early and leaned against the bonnet of his car, eyes fixed solely on the schools main gates as he waited for Myungjun to arrive.  
More and more students turned up, spilling into school grounds in a black and white sea of bodies, neither of them wearing Myungjuns signature sweater.  
Byungchul pulled up in his car next to Jinwoo a while later and Jinwoo was dragged away. He had no valid reason to be hanging around out there now that Byungchul had arrived. No reason he could admit to anyway.

It wasn't until Jinwoo was making his way to the last lesson of the day that he saw Myungjun.  
Jinwoo stumbled to a stop in the middle of the corridor and had to rub his eyes to make sure he wasn't seeing things.  
That was definitely Myungjun, but his nerdy image was nowhere to be seen.  
His hair was pulled back away from his face with a shiny black headband and his glasses and sweater had been replaced with lenses and a blazer.  
Myungjun had never shown his face in school before, and he'd also never worn the schools blazer. He looked incredible, like he'd just stepped straight out of a magazine and apparently everyone else was thinking the same thing.  
For the first time since Myungjun had started this school, he was surrounded by people who smiled at him, who laughed at his jokes, who looked upon him with something other then disgust.  
Jinwoo was stunned. Had he just walked into an alternate universe where Myungjun was actually _popular_?  
Myungjuns eyes met Jinwoos briefly and he winked before turning away and giggling at something the girl hanging off of his arm had said.  
The fact that people were actually _touching_ Myungjun made Jinwoos body thaw out of its frozen state.  
It took only a few seconds for Jinwoo to push through to Myungjuns side. He grabbed the back of Myungjuns blazer and pulled him away.  
“Bye-bye!” Myungjun called out happily, waving at the people who were watching them in disbelief. Jinwoo could hear people muttering but he didn't care.

He didn't let Myungjun go until they were outside. Even then it was only for a brief second before Jinwoo was slamming Myungjun up against the wall.  
“What the hell is this?” Jinwoo asked, looking him over.  
All Jinwoo could picture in his mind was Myungjun in his lingerie and it wasn't doing anything good for him right now.  
Myungjun giggled, eyes sparkling. “I thought you liked me this way?” When he saw that Jinwoo wasn’t amused, he looked down and admitted, “You were suspended. I knew I wouldn’t survive without you so I changed my appearance so that the bullies wouldn’t recognise me. They’ve never paid as much attention to who I really am then you did. They were easy to fool and I found a way around answering my name aloud during registration. They think I'm a transfer student named Ren. I even convinced the teachers to play along.”  
Jinwoo didn’t know what to say.  
_I knew I wouldn't survive without you._  
_Without you._  
Myungjun needed him. Myungjun _needed_ him.  
Feeling overwhelmed, Jinwoo tilted Myungjuns face up and kissed him.  
“I’m glad you’re safe.” Jinwoo muttered, pressing their foreheads together. “But you can go back to your other look now that I’m back.”  
“Why? Are you jealous that other people pay me attention now?” Myungjun teased.  
Jinwoo growled and pushed away from him. “No of course not! I-”  
“Jinwoo is jealous~” Myungjun singsonged.  
“I'm not!”  
Myungjun rolled his eyes not looking convinced. “Whatever you say. Don't worry, Ren is transferring schools again next week because his mother is a famous movie star who has just been called to Hollywood for a new film. Ren will be going to an English school so he's been practising English.”  
Myungjun proceeded to speak in broken English until Jinwoo was laughing and telling him to stop.  
“You're terrible. I can't believe those idiots believed you.”  
“People only see what they want to see.” Myungjun shrugged. “And they also like looking at pretty things.” Myungjun fluttered his eyelashes and struck an over-exaggerated movie star pose.  
Jinwoo could hardly breathe from the laughter he was trying to stifle behind his hand. He'd never heard or seen anything so ridiculous. Ren the transfer student? Hollywood? The pose?  
“You have a nice laugh.” Myungjun said quietly, smiling at Jinwoo when he'd finally calmed down. “You should laugh more often.”  
“I don't think I've laughed that much in a long time.” Jinwoo admitted, checking the time on his phone. “Well shit. We're late for class. Wanna skip?”  
“Where will we go?” Myungjun asked with an excited gleam in his eyes.  
“Follow me.”  
~

Jinwoo lept over the gap between the buildings roofs. The drop between them was fifty feet and ended with concrete. He'd done this jump enough times to be unwaveringly confident that he'd make it.  
Myungjun, however, didn't look confident in the slightest.  
He clung to the brick wall looking terrified. “Jinwoo I can't do this. That drop is massive! I'll die!”  
“You _can_ do this. I promise. The jump isn't far at all.” Jinwoo extended his arms towards him. “I'll catch you. I won't let you die. You can trust me.”  
Myungjun mumbled something under his breath that Jinwoo pointedly ignored.  
The dancer shrieked as he jumped, clearing the gap easily and crashed straight into Jinwoos chest.  
Jinwoo stumbled back from the force of it but somehow managed to stay on his feet. He laughed and patted Myungjuns back.  
“See. I told you I'd catch you. You did good.”  
Myungjun peeked up at him with a pout. “That was scary. I'm never doing that again.”  
“How else will we get back though?” Jinwoo asked with a quirked eyebrow.  
Myungjun processed his words before whining loudly. He buried his face back into Jinwoos shoulder. “I can't believe you made me do this. When you said we were going to skip class I thought we'd do something fun. Not something dangerous! I should have known better.” He pulled out of Jinwoos arms with a huff.  
Jinwoo just grinned and gestured for him to follow.  
He chose his steps carefully, advising Myungjun on the places that would provide a more stable footing.

A minute later and the view opened up.  
They were on the schools roof, a hidden section of it that only Jinwoo knew about. He was sure he was the only one because everything he had transported up here, the chair, the books, the jar of his favourite sweets, all remained untouched under the tarpaulin shelter he had built.  
Myungjun gasped as his eyes scanned the horizon. “It's beautiful up here! You can see the whole city!”  
“Its my favourite place in this shithole of a school. I discovered it a few months ago. No-one else knows this place exists. Probably too scared to make the journey.”  
“You haven't even told your friends? Not even Byungchul?” Myungjun asked, turning back to look at him.  
Jinwoo laughed. “Byungchul? That wimp is scared of heights.”  
Myungjun gasped. “Byungchul actually has a fear? Wow. He seems more human now.”  
“He has more then one.” Jinwoo moved to sit on his chair before realising Myungjun would have nowhere to sit and offered it to him instead.  
Myungjun just shook his head, pushed Jinwoo down onto it and sat down on Jinwoos lap, giggling at the look on Jinwoos face.  
“This way we both get a seat.”  
Myungjun was close like this. Too close. Jinwoo couldn't think of anything else other than the warmth and weight of his body and the mixture of scents from his hair, skin and whatever detergent he washed his uniform with. Flowers. It was always flowers.  
Jinwoo wanted to kiss him, to undress him, to drown in him.  
But Myungjun made no moves to get any closer. 

Instead, Myungjun looked back out over the city and sighed.  
“This is peaceful. I wish I'd been the one to discover this place. That way, no-one would have been able to find me. I would have been able to eat my lunch somewhere other than the toilet.”  
Jinwoo wrinkled his nose. “You ate your food in the toilet? That's gross.”  
“I had no other choice. It was the only place that really guaranteed my safety.”  
“Well you have a choice now. I'm formally giving you permission to eat your lunch up here from now on.”  
Myungjun turned to him pretending to be shocked. “Wow. Park Jinwoo are you feeling well? You've been awfully nice to me lately. Beating up all my bullies, treating all my injuries and now offering me your secret spot? You're definitely unwell.”  
Jinwoo laughed in disbelief and tickled Myungjuns sides. “Oi! I'm not sick you idiot.”  
Myungjun wriggled off of Jinwoos lap with a squeal to escape his fingers and danced away across the rooftop.  
“What else is Byungchul afraid of? You know, for research purposes.”  
Jinwoo leaned back in his seat. “Spiders, slugs and horror movies.”  
Myungjuns laughter was loud and bright. “Slugs?! That's ridiculous! Are you lying to me right now Park Jinwoo?”  
“I'm being serious. I've teased him plenty of times with them. I broke into his locker once and put a couple of them in there. He screamed like a little girl when he opened it, it was so funny.”  
“You're evil.”  
“Sometimes.”  
Myungjun sat back down on Jinwoos lap. “Do you have any fears?”  
Jinwoo forced a smirk. “Of course not. I'm Mortems fearless leader remember?”  
“You're Park Jinwoo before that though.” Myungjun pointed out. “You've always been Jinwoo, but you haven't always been Mortems leader. So tell me what _Jinwoo_ is afraid of.”  
Jinwoo looked away from him to stare up at the sky. The clouds formed shapes he didn't bother trying to decipher. “What am I afraid of? Clowns. And those people who dress up in those big suits to promote things.”  
“You mean mascots?” Myungjun asked, sounding like he was holding back a laugh.  
“Yeah, mascots. You have no idea who could be under those suits. They could be perverts!”  
“Probably clowns.” Myungjun whispered. He was definitely laughing now.  
Jinwoo looked back down at him, horrified at the thought. “Clowns in mascot suits? Calm down Satan.”  
Myungjun shrieked out a laugh and dove forwards to bury his face in Jinwoos neck.  
Jinwoos arms wound around him, pulling him closer without much thought behind it. It felt natural.  
Myungjun hummed happily and cuddled into him.

Maybe it was the relaxing atmosphere, or the fact that it felt like they were in a world of their own up here, but suddenly Jinwoo couldn't stop talking.  
“I'm scared of a lot of things.” Jinwoo revealed, tightening his arms around Myungjun to make sure Myungjun couldn't pull away to look at him. If Myungjun looked at him, Jinwoo was sure he wouldn't be able to continue.  
“I'm scared of failing my final exams, of being held back a year and having to do all of this again. I'm scared of how my parents will react if that happens, of being even more of a disappointment to them. I'm scared of being a failure for Mortem too, of what that would mean. I'm scared of everything I've done, every illegal thing, coming back to bite me in the ass. I'm one crime away from a prison sentence and that terrifies me. I never wanted my life to reach this point. I never wanted to become a criminal yet here I am.” He breathed out heavily. “I once got asked, 'Jinwoo, if you died tomorrow would you have any regrets?'...I didn't even have to think about it. I have too many regrets, more than I can count. Whenever I really think about it, when I think hard about what I've achieved, it makes me realise that I haven't really achieved anything at all. Sure, Mortem means everything to me now, its the most important thing in my eyes, but what about when schools over? Is Mortem still going to be important to me then? Maybe.” Jinwoo sighed. “When I first joined this school I had one goal in mind. Get the grades and move onto a university where I could fulfil my passion for music. Making music used to be the most important thing to me. But then I turned into a walking, talking cliché. Park Jinwoo, gang leader, violent thug, womanizer, drug addict and criminal. The only music I listen to now is whatever is playing in the Camellia when I come to watch you dance. Maybe that's why I'm so drawn to the place. I can't listen to music anywhere else or it reminds me of what I had to give up, what I had to sacrifice to make Mortem work.”  
“Why is Mortem more important to you than your music?” Myungjun finally spoke, his voice muffled.  
Jinwoo rested his cheek atop Myungjuns head, closing his eyes and breathing in the fresh scent of Myungjuns hair.  
“That's not something I want to involve you in. The less you know, the better.”  
“The better for who? You or me?”  
Jinwoo didn't answer. He didn't know how to.

They were quiet for a long time after that, and Jinwoo was sure they fell asleep at some point, because the next time he opened his eyes the sun was setting.  
The reason he had woken became obvious almost immediately.  
He no longer felt Myungjuns comforting weight on his lap and shivered at the chill the loss of Myungjuns body heat induced.  
Then he heard it. The music. It was soft, classical, and Jinwoo lifted his head from the back of his chair to see a dark silhouette outlined against the sky.  
Jinwoos eyes took a few seconds to adjust to the change in the light.  
Myungjun was dancing. His phone, the source of the music, was lit up on the floor by his feet.  
Jinwoos heart stuttered in his chest when he saw the look on Myungjuns face.  
He was smiling, eyes closed, radiating serenity and peace.  
Myungjuns dancing was like music to Jinwoo. As long as Myungjun was dancing and Jinwoo could witness it, then Jinwoo would always be happy.

When Myungjun opened his eyes, they found Jinwoos and his smile widened.  
“You're awake.”  
Myungjuns voice, the voice Jinwoo had been hearing for months now suddenly sounded different, his smile that brightened his face now suddenly looked different, everything about him was suddenly different.  
And all it took was for Myungjun to take Jinwoos hand to pull him to his feet for Jinwoo to understand why.  
It was undeniable. The way Jinwoos heart beat faster in his chest when their skin touched. The overwhelming desire Jinwoo felt to keep that smile fixed permanently on Myungjuns face. The need he felt rise up inside of him to never see Myungjun hurt again, so that Myungjun could always dance for him, could always reach out to touch him.  
It was so undeniably obvious in that very moment.  
_I'm in love with him. I'm in love with Myungjun._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Sigh*
> 
> I hope everyone is well, stay safe out there lovelies<3


	8. Let's wilt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER WARNING:  
> Smutty smut smut *wink wonk*

_I'm in love with him. I'm in love with Myungjun._  
That thought plagued Jinwoos every waking moment.  
Love was supposed to be something amazing and life-changing, something that changed the world around you, bringing colour to even the darkest of corners and filling you with immeasurable amounts of joy.  
At least that's how the movies make it out to be.  
But for Jinwoo...  
Love sucked. Love sucked balls.  
Maybe it was because the interest of Jinwoos affection and himself were too different. They might as well have been from two different worlds. Two different species.  
How was Jinwoo, gang leader and resident delinquent, supposed to handle the realisation of the feelings he'd grown for the nerd he'd bullied for years? Was he even _allowed_ to feel this way for him, after everything he'd put Myungjun through?  
How cliché. The situation was so cliché it made Jinwoo want to choke the harder he thought about it. Like something out of a damn manhwa.  
But it was one thing to read such an overused trope, and another thing to actually live it.

Everywhere Jinwoo went he was reminded of Myungjun.  
That wall over there? That's the one he slammed Myungjun up against the first time he ever laid eyes on him.  
Those lockers? Jinwoo had watched Myungjun pass by them every day since.  
A cup of damn coffee? Jinwoo couldn't bear to look at it without seeing those stupid coupons.  
Myungjun was suddenly everywhere, whether he was physically present or not.

Jinwoo would toss and turn in bed at night, remembering the bright sound of Myungjuns laughter, the pretty tilt of his lips when he smiled, the captivating language of his body when he danced amidst the floral scented haze, or the warmth of his body when he was trapped in Jinwoos embrace.  
It was infuriating. Jinwoo lost sleep.  
How was he supposed to settle when all he wanted to do was be with Myungjun, to experience all of this just one more time?  
Just once more, he told himself, once more and I'll be satisfied.

But he never was.  
Jinwoo started to visit The Camellia every single night that Myungjun worked, regardless of whether he had the money for it or not. Myungjun never turned him away anyway.  
Jinwoo drank in the sight of him, clothed and unclothed, getting drunk on the scent of his skin alone and spiralling faster and faster into the depths of no return.  
When Jinwoo was with Myungjun he didn't need alcohol. He didn't need drugs. He didn't need those old crutches to lean on.  
Because Myungjun was enough. Suddenly, undeniably, enough.

“You're so perfect.” Jinwoo whispered against the soft skin of Myungjuns bare chest.  
Myungjuns legs trembled as they both neared completion in the privacy of their favourite booth.  
Myungjun didn't hear what Jinwoo had said, too caught up in the pleasure Jinwoos body was providing him, but Jinwoo didn't mind.  
He soaked up Myungjuns dizzying gasps and pants for breath like he was soaking up the rays from the sun.  
Myungjun never heard the sweet nothings Jinwoo whispered against his skin like a prayer and Jinwoo was glad. The words slipped out uninvited when he and Myungjun fucked.  
As far as Jinwoo was concerned, revealing his innermost thoughts and feelings was something unthinkable. Something dangerous. But he would completely lose the filter on his mouth when he was buried deep inside of the pretty dancer, feeling the heat of his body and the flex of his muscles as he came undone in Jinwoos lap.

These days Jinwoo was hungry. Hungry for Myungjun in more ways than one. A hunger that was insatiable.  
Jinwoo couldn't leave the booth until he'd fucked at least three orgasms out of his flower and even then, he found himself wanting more.  
Myungjun would never complain. No matter how tired he was. No matter how many times Jinwoo pushed him to his limit.  
But he did question the obvious change in Jinwoos behaviour eventually.  
Jinwoo just shrugged and answered; “Maybe I'm addicted to sex. Got a problem with that?”  
Myungjun watched him carefully for a few seconds, as if he were trying to see past Jinwoos words, but in the end he just gave a small smile.  
“Not at all.”

Jinwoo knew this wasn't healthy.  
Not only were his thoughts filled with Myungjun, but the constant, mind-blowing sex they were having was affecting his body too.  
His skin thrummed and his breath quickened whenever he saw the dancer, _wherever_ he saw the dancer.  
Jinwoo had to exercise a god-like level of self restraint when Myungjun passed him in the schools corridors. Which meant he was quick to snap when something displeased him elsewhere.

After a particularly difficult morning of watching Myungjun running around the schools field in his sportswear, Jinwoo finally lost control.  
He stood up abruptly from his seat by the window looking out over the field. His chair slammed back into the desk behind him and the entire classroom fell silent. Even the female teacher, teaching at the front of the class, stuttered to a stop, her eyes widening slightly as she took in Jinwoos appearance.  
From an outsiders perspective, Jinwoo looked furious. His hands were balled up into fists at his sides. His jaw clenched. His chest rose and fell sharply.  
Jinwoo shoved his hands into the pockets of his trousers and shoved his way out of the classroom, not bothering to explain his leave.  
Who would dare question Mortems leaders actions anyway?

He'd waited for the precise moment Myungjuns class had been dismissed before making his way outside.  
This was reckless. And risky. And downright stupid.  
But Jinwoo couldn't stop his body from moving.  
He only paused and hid from view when Byungchul and the others walked past. It irritated Jinwoo beyond measure that Byungchul had the honour of being in Myungjuns class and not him.  
_I wonder if I can change classes_ , Jinwoo momentarily thought before remembering why that wasn't possible. The school had purposefully split the main members of Mortem up, not wanting them to be together during classes so that less chaos was caused.  
The rational side of Jinwoo could understand that.  
The irrational part was pissed that this meant he couldn't be near his flower.

And a clear reason _why_ he needed to be near his flower at all times presented itself at that very moment.  
“Hey fag. Move.” A nasty sneer escaped from a tall, muscle-headed youths mouth.  
Jinwoo knew who he was. He was the leader of the only other gang in the school that had as many members as Mortem.  
But right then Jinwoo was more than happy to decrease those numbers.  
He stepped out from his hiding spot, after making sure Byungchul and the others had disappeared, in time to see the brute slam into Myungjuns shoulder, sending the delicate dancer stumbling.  
Myungjun whimpered at the pain but kept his head down so he could hide behind his fringe.

The sound of undeserved pain ripped straight through Jinwoos heart and he saw red.  
He didn't give the guy a chance to turn around before slamming straight into him and tackling him to the ground.  
Jinwoo heard Myungjuns gasp of surprise but he couldn't pay much attention to anything other than getting his fists bloody with this assholes face.  
“What the fuck!” The dark-haired asshole raged as he struggled to get out from underneath Jinwoos hold.  
Jinwoo didn't let him move. All of the hours he put into working out everyday paid off yet again. He managed to hold the guy down despite being a whole head shorter.  
Jinwoo pulled back his fist before bringing it back down with all of his might.  
A loud crack rang through the air as his knuckles collided with a stubbly jaw.  
Jinwoo did it again. And again. And again. Relishing in the cries of pain the insect below him was emitting.  
The blood was roaring in Jinwoos ears as he let the rage consume him, drowning out everything around him.

Until suddenly a high-pitched, frantic voice cut through it like a knife.  
“Jinwoo! Jinwoo stop!” Myungjun shrieked, pulling at Jinwoos arms to no avail. “Jinwoo please! You'll kill him!”  
Jinwoos attacks slowed down to a stop as he finally saw the damage he had done.  
The boy below him was black and blue, his split lip stretching over the bloodied gap of a missing tooth. Thick, red blood oozed out of the cuts on his cheek and eyebrow and the eyes behind his sparse lashes were full of terror.

Jinwoo panted on top of him, trying to calm the adrenaline still racing through his veins.  
“Don't ever...fuck with...him again.” Jinwoo growled through his laboured breaths. “How many times...do I have to tell...you fucking assholes...that he's _mine_?”  
“You're crazy. You crazy fucker let me go!”  
Jinwoo climbed to his feet, kicking him once more in the ribs for good measure before grabbing Myungjuns wrist and pulling him towards the toilets.  
“J-Jinwoo?”  
Jinwoo booted open the bathroom door. Everyone inside was quick to leave when Jinwoo roared the order to them.  
They didn't want to witness whatever torture the nerd Jinwoo was dragging around would suffer.

When the toilets were all cleared out Jinwoo blocked the door before pressing Myungjun up against the nearest mirror.  
Jinwoos body was moving on its own. Myungjuns scent was driving him crazy. The high from successfully protecting what was his pushed him forwards until their lips crashed together.  
Myungjun was startled, trying to push Jinwoo away.  
Jinwoo just kissed him more fiercely, forcing Myungjuns mouth open so he could taste him.  
Myungjun tasted like the bitter coffee he'd drunk that morning and Jinwoo lapped up the taste, trying to get deeper to the taste that he really wanted.  
Myungjuns entire body began to tremble.  
With a few movements of Jinwoos hands, Myungjuns shorts hit the floor. He grabbed at the ample flesh of Myungjuns ass and easily subdued any and all of Myungjuns weak attempts of getting away.  
The taste in Myungjuns mouth started to change, revealing Myungjuns true sweetness beneath.  
Jinwoo groaned as Myungjun overtook his senses, drowning him once more.  
Not being able to wait even one second longer, Jinwoo broke the kiss with a gasp for air and spun Myungjun around, pressing his front against the mirror as he yanked Myungjuns underwear down.  
“J-J-Jinwoo. Jinwoo slow down.” Myungjun whimpered. His glasses were digging into the bridge of his nose as his warm breath fogged up the mirror in front of him. “Jinwoo we're at school! someone might come in. Please stop.”  
“I don't care.” Jinwoo growled, making easy work of dropping his own trousers. “I need you Myungjun. Right now. I can't wait any longer.”  
After forcing Myungjuns legs apart Jinwoo pushed two of his fingers past Myungjuns lips.  
“Suck on them. I don't want to go in dry and hurt you.”  
For a second Jinwoo didn't think Myungjun was going to do it, but then Myungjuns mouth closed around them and he started to suck on them weakly.  
Jinwoos fingers hit the back of Myungjuns throat.  
“ _Harder_.”  
Myungjun obeyed and sucked harder. The feel of his warm tongue lapping at Jinwoos skin made Jinwoos head spin. He pulled his fingers out and pressed a trail of kisses up Myungjuns neck.  
“D-Don't kiss me there. I'm sweaty.”  
To prove that he didn't care in the slightest, Jinwoo licked a long line up to Myungjuns ear to nip roughly at the lobe. Myungjun shuddered and didn't complain about being sweaty again.  
“Be quiet now.” Jinwoo warned before reaching down to press a slick finger inside of him. He pushed past the brief resistance Myungjuns body put up and hummed appreciatively at how warm it felt inside of him.  
When Jinwoo pushed a second finger inside of him, Myungjun choked on a sob.  
Jinwoo pulled Myungjuns face around to kiss him and stifle the noise as he scissored him open.  
Myungjun writhed against the mirror, almost as if he were trying to get away but Jinwoo wouldn't let him go. It was too late to stop now.  
Desire clouded Jinwoos mind until his sense of reason dissipated.  
Usually he spent a lot longer prepping Myungjun to make sure there was zero chance of him feeling any discomfort, but this time the need to be inside of him was too strong.  
He yanked Myungjuns hips back until his back arched and lined himself up before pushing inside in one thrust.  
Myungjuns cry was smothered as Jinwoo covered his mouth.  
“Quiet.” He warned again, giving Myungjun a brief moment to adjust to the sudden stretch before he began to slam into him.  
Jinwoo bit down on Myungjuns shoulder through his shirt to smother the noises coming out of his own mouth as his hips snapped forwards desperately again and again.  
He'd needed this. Seeing Myungjun work up a sweat on the field, his ass jiggling deliciously under his shorts as he moved, had worked up a primal appetite inside of Jinwoo that he couldn't ignore.  
Who could resist a bite of a snack as mouth-watering as Myungjun?  
The dancers hands slipped over the surface of the mirror as he tried to find something to hold onto.  
Jinwoo could see the unshed tears shining behind Myungjuns glasses, and the pretty pink mound of his tongue just beyond his lips, whose corners were gathering drool. He looked thoroughly fucked already and a shiver of pride raced up Jinwoos spine.  
Only Jinwoo could make Myungjun feel this way. He was sure of it. All of the other clients Myungjun serviced as one of the Camellias companions surely couldn't bring out this type of expression on his pretty, flushed face.  
The unsavoury thought of Myungjun fucking other people made Jinwoo growl possessively. The jealousy boiled up inside of him.  
“You're mine.” Jinwoo grabbed a hold of Myungjuns face in a one handed grip. “Mine. Tell me Myungjun. Tell me that you're mine. Tell me that you won't let anyone else fuck you like this.”  
The tears spilled over behind Myungjuns glasses. “I w-won't let anyone else touch me.”  
“ _And_?” Jinwoo demanded harshly, tightening his grip on Myungjuns face as he angled his hips to plunge deeper inside.  
Myungjuns gasp was like music to his ears. “I'm yours. Jinwoo I'm yours. Just...please.”  
“Please what?”  
“Hurry.”  
Jinwoo let go of Myungjuns face and reached down to the front of Myungjuns hips. He wrapped a firm hand around him and flicked his wrist up and down at an unforgiving pace.  
The lewd sounds spilling out of Myungjuns mouth rose in volume until Jinwoo cut him off by kissing him again. When Myungjuns tongue brushed against his own Jinwoo wrapped his lips around it and sucked harshly.  
One more flick of his wrist and Myungjuns entire body tensed as he came.  
Jinwoo thrusted into him twice more, feeling the way Myungjun clenched around him before he finished too, buried deep inside of Myungjuns warmth.

As Jinwoo came back to his senses the harsh reality of what he'd just done began to settle in.  
He'd just fucked Myungjun...in school. And he wasn't entirely sure if he'd been given permission to do so by the dancer or not.  
The panic started to build inside of him.  
“Myungjun?” His voice wavered.  
Myungjun was panting heavily against the mirror as his legs wobbled. His fringe was damp with sweat and stuck in clumps on his forehead. Tears were still streaking down his cheeks, each one a testament to what Jinwoo had just put him through.  
Jinwoo pulled out of him immediately and grabbed him under the arms when Myungjuns legs gave out.  
“Myungjun say something.” Jinwoo urged desperately, turning him around to look at his face properly.  
The only sound that came out of Myungjuns mouth was weak and pitiful.  
Jinwoo looked quickly at the door. To his horror he'd only blocked it with a bin. A bin that was half full and could have easily been pushed aside by anyone who wanted to enter.  
They were lucky that no-one had tried.  
Jinwoos angry curse echoed back at him as he helped Myungjun to one of the toilet stalls. He grabbed a handful of tissues and tried to clean Myungjun up as best as he could.  
Then he took a deep breath and dropped down on one knee to check the damage. He hadn't prepped Myungjun anywhere near enough so he was afraid he'd hurt him terribly.  
When he didn't see anything that indicated any serious problems he let out a breath laden with relief before standing back up and pulling Myungjuns underwear and shorts up with him.  
“I'm sorry. Shit I'm so sorry Myungjun.”  
Seeing Myungjun shivering in front of him left a bitter taste in Jinwoos mouth.  
“I scared you didn't I? I...I forced you right? FUCK.”  
Myungjuns bottom lip trembled.  
Then, unexpectedly, he took a step forward and leaned into Jinwoos chest. He wasn't angrily lashing out and accusing Jinwoo of forcing himself upon him like Jinwoo had been expecting.  
Instead, Myungjun sagged against Jinwoo before bursting into tears.  
Jinwoo seemed to have forgotten how to move as he watched Myungjuns tears soak into his shirt.  
“Y-y-y-you did sc-scare me.” Myungjun stuttered, wrapping his arms around Jinwoos waist.  
The guilt smashed into Jinwoo nearly knocking him off his feet. The only thing that kept him standing was Myungjuns embrace. He wrapped his arms around his flowers slim, delicate shoulders in return and hugged him tight.  
“I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry. I'll never do that again.” Jinwoo choked out, burying his face into Myungjuns damp hair. “I can't believe...I don't know...”  
Jinwoo didn't bother to finish any of those sentences. If he did, he'd only be lying.  
He _could_ believe that he would do something like this. Jinwoo was a bad person. Everyone knew it. He was the type to take whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted it. So it wasn't at all surprising that he'd done this in reality, right?  
Myungjun mumbled something against Jinwoos chest that was so unbelievable that Jinwoo was yanked out of his self-deprecating thoughts. He had to ask Myungjun to repeat himself.  
“I said even though I was scared...I'm happy.” Myungjun repeated. “And I wasn't scared because you forced me to have sex with you either. If I didn't want it, I would have told you to get off of me.”  
“...Why were you scared then?”  
Myungjun pulled away to look at Jinwoo dead in the eyes. “You just beat someone black and blue in front of me Jinwoo. I've seen you beat people up before, but I've never seen you look so...” He swallowed and shivered again. “I thought you were going to kill him. You went too far Jinwoo. You know that, right?”  
_I don't think I went far enough._ Jinwoo thought darkly.  
He didn't want to lie to Myungjun so he answered with another question.  
“If I scared you that much, how can you say that you're happy?”  
Colour slowly rose in Myungjuns cheeks.  
“Because you saved me...again. And you kissed me and held me even though we're in school. It was dangerous and scary but,” Myungjuns face was bright red now and he looked down at his hands as he played with his fingers. “I liked it.” He admitted quietly.  
Jinwoo blinked. “You liked it?”  
A small nod.  
“Have you got a kink for being manhandled or something?” Jinwoo asked without thinking.  
Myungjuns reaction oozed embarrassment as he smacked at Jinwoos chest.  
Jinwoo grinned and grabbed his wrist to stop him, using it to yank Myungjun back into his arms.  
“I'm not one to kink shame or anything...” Jinwoo continued to tease.  
Myungjun tried to wriggle free. He was denying it so firmly Jinwoo was worried he'd start crying again so he quickly apologised and brushed the sweaty hair off of Myungjuns forehead.  
“Can you walk?”  
Myungjun nodded but still winced as they stepped back out of the stall.  
“Jinwoo can I ask you something?”  
“Anything.”  
“Do you like me?”  
Jinwoo froze.  
“What...what made you ask that?”  
Myungjun cleared his throat. “You act like you do. And what you asked me to say earlier-”  
Jinwoo cringed.  
_Tell me Myungjun. Tell me that you're mine. Tell me that you won't let anyone else fuck you like this._  
He'd let his jealousy get the better of him and blurted out something embarrassing.  
“Just forget what I said.” Jinwoo grumbled, pretending to inspect his split and bruising knuckles. They were littered with old and new scars now.  
“What if I don't want to?”  
“What?”  
“What if I don't want to forget what you said?”  
On the outside Jinwoo wore a frown, but on the inside his heart was racing. If Myungjun meant what Jinwoo thought he meant...

Unfortunately, before Jinwoo could find out, the sound of raised voices drifted through the door. Jinwoo recognised one of those voices immediately and tensed. It was Bin. It sounded like he was arguing with someone and they were getting closer and closer to the toilets.  
Jinwoo looked around frantically. What the fuck were they supposed to do? Hide? But news of Jinwoo dragging Myungjun to the toilets to beat him up must have spread by now, so even if they did try to hide they'd be caught and it would be too suspicious.  
He groaned, realising exactly the situation he'd put himself in. All for a quick fuck? No. Myungjun wasn't just a quick fuck anymore. It went beyond that. Jinwoo had _needed_ to be inside of him. And that need is exactly what had put them in danger of being caught in the first place.  
If they were caught, Myungjun wouldn't suffer too much. Everyone already knew he was gay.  
But if Jinwoo was caught...  
Anxiety clawed at Jinwoos throat, making it hard to breathe. The fear of watching Mortem crumble was paralysing.  
If Mortem fell, the line of defence Jinwoo had painstakingly built over the years would fall. No-one would be safe.  
_We shouldn't be doing this. Not just in school but anywhere at all. I can't be selfish like this._  
Bile rose up in the back of Jinwoos throat as he thought about what he needed to say. He'd made up his mind and this was going to hurt like a bitch.  
“Myungjun.”  
Myungjun looked fearful at the sound of Bins approach. He was probably waiting for Jinwoo to come up with a plan. A flicker of hope appeared in the warm brown depths of his eyes.  
Jinwoo tried to swallow. His throat clicked drily.  
“To answer your question; no. I don't like you. I never have and I never will. Lets end things here.”  
Jinwoo watched the hope die in Myungjuns eyes. They filled with confusion, then pain, then anger in replacement.  
“What the hell are you saying? Wait...” Something akin to understanding crossed Myungjuns face and he almost smiled. “Are we going to pretend to fight to get out of here?”  
Jinwoos heart throbbed as he took a step back.  
“No. I'm being serious Myungjun. Whatever is going on between us, I'm calling it quits. I'm done.”  
“Why?” Myungjun demanded as his anger flared again. “You were fine getting off inside of me just a second ago!”  
Myungjuns choice of words made Jinwoo flinch. Jinwoo felt like the worlds biggest asshole. But if he didn't do this then things would only be worse for Myungjun. They would only be worse for everyone.  
Myungjun stepped towards him and reached out to take Jinwoos hand. His skin was clammy but his touch burned.  
“Did I do something wrong? Is it because I asked if you liked me? You don't have to answer if you don't want to. It doesn't matter to me anyway. Please Jinwoo just don't do this to me. I don't want us to fall out again. I don't want to be alone again. _Please_.”  
Jinwoo had never felt a pain like this before in his life. Even the worst fights he had ever been in, where he'd been hospitalized and bed ridden for days, didn't hold a candle to this pain in comparison. His heart was being ripped out of his chest, he was sure of it. Ripped out with his own two hands.  
“I'm sorry.”  
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE SORRY?!” Myungjun yanked his hand away and shoved Jinwoo back a step. “YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE!”  
The voices outside in the corridor quietened down.  
Jinwoo needed to shut Myungjun up. Right now.  
Luckily Myungjun still seemed rational enough to understand the situation they were in and he lowered his voice.  
“You're bored of me now aren't you? Just like all the other girls you've slept with.” He laughed bitterly. “I should have known. You're not as different as I thought you were after all.”  
Myungjun shoved past him and opened the door. Only to come face to face with the people they'd been trying to avoid.  
Jinwoo saw Myungjuns angry demeanour crumble in an instant under the eyes of the predators.  
“It looks like the boss let you off too lightly.” Byungchul sneered as he looked down at Myungjuns dishevelled state. Bin stood expressionless beside him. “I'll just have to finish the job.” Byungchul cracked his knuckles.  
Myungjun moved to cover his face defensively. Not that it would help much.  
“Let him go.” Jinwoo ordered sharply. “I can't stand the sight of him.”  
Jinwoo was sure he heard a small sob as the dancer fled.  
_I was right. Love sucks. Love sucks balls._


	9. Childhood Blooms.

Meaningless days rushed by Jinwoo in a blur until there were only a handful of months left until finals season began.  
When the notices were posted around the school about their upcoming exams Jinwoo started to worry.  
He couldn't graduate if he failed any of these exams and he hadn't been paying attention in any of his classes for the longest time, too hung up in the problems outside of his academic life.  
The thought of failing and being held back a year, and having to explain that to his parents filled Jinwoo with dread.  
Simply being a failure filled Jinwoo with dread.

That dread was the exact emotion that forced Jinwoo to act. He went to the one person he knew who would help him without making a huge fuss.

Grey spread out all of his textbooks and notes over Jinwoos bedroom floor and grinned at the horrified twist of Jinwoos lips.  
“This is only the first half of the material you'll need to study if you want to pass.”  
Jinwoo groaned and slumped back against the wall. “Forget it. This is too much. Just kill me now.”  
Grey laughed and handed Jinwoo an empty notebook and a pen. “If we aim to study for at least three hours a day-”  
“For how many days?”  
“Everyday until exams start.”  
“Are you trying to torture me? Is this payback for the marijuana incident?” Jinwoo asked, taking the writing tools and doodling his name on the front of the book.  
“If I was going to torture you it wouldn't be by making you do homework.” Grey pointed out. “Now stop moaning and let's get started.”  
~  
**Grey**  
The alarm on Greys phone sounded signifying another break.  
Jinwoos dramatic sigh of relief made Grey chuckle. He was really seeing a new side of Jinwoo that he had never seen before today and he found himself liking it a lot.  
“I'll go and get us some snacks from the store down the street.” Jinwoo offered as he jumped up to his feet looking all too eager to get away.  
“Don't take too long. Our break is only for twenty minutes.” Grey reminded him.  
He watched Jinwoo race out of the room and unlocked his phone as he sat back against the wall.  
Three missed calls from his mother.  
He hadn't told her he was coming to help Jinwoo study. He knew she'd only throw a fit otherwise. The impression Jinwoo had left on her was terrible at best; corrupting her perfect son.  
Grey scoffed and tossed his phone aside, not bothering to ring her back.

The sound of a door opening downstairs reached his ears.  
“Jinwoo honey? We're home.”  
Jinwoos parents were back?  
A minute later and Jinwoos father peeked around the bedroom door. His eyes widened slightly when Grey shot up to his feet to greet him.  
“Mr Park.” Grey inclined his head politely. “Its nice to see you again.”  
Jinwoos father seemed to have forgotten how to speak as he looked in disbelief at the study materials haphazardly spread over the floor.  
“What's going on?” The man eventually asked. “Is he...”  
“Studying.” Grey confirmed. “Finals start in a few months and he asked me for my help.”  
Mr Park looked mind-blown. “Well...I suppose we'll leave you to it then.” He let out a breath of air. “Thank you Grey. Please help our son. We don't want Jinwoo to fail. He's already carrying around enough guilt as it is. We just want him to be happy.”  
“I'll do my best.” Grey didn't really know how else to reply. He didn't exactly understand what the man was talking about but he seemed sincere. It was a wonder how Jinwoo seemed to dislike his parents when they clearly only had his best interests at heart. But then again Grey knew all about how parents could be when they wanted the best for their children.  
“We'll go back out. Jinwoo won't want to study with us in the house. When do you think you'll be done?”  
“By six at the latest.”  
They said their goodbyes and Grey watched the man leave. He could see where Jinwoo got his good looks from.

*

**Jinwoo**

Jinwoo had been keeping his distance from Myungjun after he finished things with him, but he couldn't help but continue to watch out for him at school.  
Anyone who he caught bullying Myungjun was sorted out in secret. Jinwoo would pay them back ten-fold for what they put the dancer through and then Jinwoo would find a way to threaten them into a submissive silence.  
Jinwoo knew he couldn't keep this up forever. It was only a matter of time before someone blabbed about what he was doing. Threats would only keep them quiet for so long.  
Jinwoo had already received a few fleeting comments here and there about his change in attitude lately, especially towards Myungjun whom he appeared to be ignoring completely now. He was just hoping and praying to whatever damn god would listen that he could hold out until finals were over.

*

One day there was a commotion at the school gates.  
Immediately fearing the worst, Jinwoo rushed over to see what was happening.  
A guy he had never seen before was standing just outside the school grounds seemingly waiting for someone.  
A group of girls standing within earshot of Jinwoo were looking at the newcomer and giggling amongst themselves.  
“Oh my god he's so handsome!”  
“Do you think he's new here?”  
“Should we go and say hello?”  
“You have a boyfriend!”  
“So? It's not like I'm trying to date the guy or anything!”  
“You're blushing.”  
“He's handsome. Sue me.”

Jinwoo wasn't used to hearing the girls of his school swoon over anyone that wasn't him and it rubbed him the wrong way. Jinwoo wrinkled his nose in distaste and gave the guy another once over.  
_There's nothing that interesting about him. Sure he's decent looking but he's too sullen. Would it kill him to smile?_ Jinwoo thought huffily.  
Jinwoo turned to leave but froze as he finally heard the guy speak. His voice was deep and smooth.  
“Excuse me, could you tell me if a Kim Myungjun goes to school here? I'm sure he said it was this one.”  
He'd asked the group of girls Jinwoo had just been eavesdropping on and they jumped at the chance to speak to him.  
“Yes! He's a student here.”  
“Myungjun is so lovely honestly.”  
“He once helped us campaign for the right to wear skirts again!”  
“Are you a friend of his?”  
A muscle twitched in Jinwoos jaw. Two-faced bitches. They happily accepted Myungjuns kindness when he put his pride on the line and came to school in a skirt despite knowing the backlash he would get, yet when it was all over they had just turned their backs on him and he'd gone back to being a social pariah. Myungjun hadn't acted bothered by their change of attitude at the time but Jinwoo knew how much that had hurt him inside.  
And now these same bitches were pretending to be all chummy with him. It made Jinwoo sick.  
“Oh really? That sounds like Junnie.” The newcomers voice was full of affection.  
_Junnie?_ A nickname? That meant they were close. Jinwoo didn't like that either. Myungjun had never mentioned being that close with anyone else besides Minhyuk and Donghan before.  
“Do you know when his class finishes?”  
“He's in my class. He should be...oh, here he is now! Myungjun!”  
Jinwoos head whipped around. Myungjun looked startled at suddenly being addressed in school but his eyes widened further when he saw the guy who suddenly wasn't looking so sullen anymore.  
Myungjun gasped aloud before running to him, not caring who he pushed aside.  
“LEVI!” He shrieked excitedly. Myungjun jumped straight into his arms, wrapping his arms and legs around him and hugging him tight. “Levi I can't believe you're here! You're actually here! I missed you so much!”  
Murmurs from the crowd that had gathered reached Jinwoos ears as he stood there frozen, watching his flower be touched affectionately by some stranger.  
“I wonder who he is. He's not wearing our uniform.”  
“Oh my god do you think that's Myungjuns boyfriend? He's gay right?”  
“Look at the way they're acting. They're all over each other.”  
“Ew, you're right. Let's go.”

The familiar feel of gut-rotting jealousy pooled in Jinwoos stomach as he unconsciously crushed the can he was holding in his hand. Droplets of his drink dripped down to the floor by his feet but he paid it no attention.  
All he wanted to do was correct those around him, telling them that there was no way that guy was Myungjuns boyfriend. No way at all.  
_But wouldn't that rumour spreading actually be a good thing? It would take the heat off of me completely if people thought they were a couple._

The approach of Byungchul and the rest of Mortem yanked Jinwoo out of his thoughts and put him on the defensive.  
The look in Byungchuls eyes as he took in the scene in front of him spelled nothing good.  
Myungjun hadn't noticed him yet. Levi had put him down but they were talking animatedly together with an almost non-existent space between them.  
“Who's your new friend Myungjun?” Byungchul asked boldly, throwing a heavy arm over Myungjuns shoulders and pulling him back a step. The gesture was almost friendly.  
The crowd around them slowly dispersed. Everyone knew by now how this would end and they didn't want to get caught at the scene when the teachers showed up.  
Levi, the blissfully ignorant idiot, just smiled. “I'm Levi. Are you one of Myungjuns friends?”  
Byungchul grinned with all of his teeth. “Sure. Isn't that right Myungjun?”  
Jinwoo noticed the way Byungchuls arm tightened, but he stayed back for now. No-one had noticed his presence yet and he hoped he'd be able to keep it that way.  
“Y-Yes. We're...friends.” Myungjun answered quietly.  
Levis emerald eyes were full of a sudden suspicion as they scanned Myungjuns face. Myungjun was a good liar, yet Levi had seen right through it.  
“Let him go.” Levi spoke coldly.  
Byungchul let him go with a smirk and Myungjun rushed to hide behind Levis back.  
“How cute. Myungjun has a knight in shining armour at last. Tell me _Levi_ , does he fuck you or do you fuck him?”  
Appreciative chuckles arose around them.  
Levi didn't miss a beat, his voice icy. “Why so curious? Do you need some advice from one bottom to another?”  
All of the colour drained out of Byungchuls face. Jinwoo almost wanted to laugh.  
“What the...I'm not...” Byungchul clearly wasn't used to receiving such bold, insinuating comebacks. He was at a loss for words.  
Levi didn't stop there. “Or maybe you're interested in joining us? Don't worry, considering you're Myungjuns _friend_ I'm sure he'll go easy on you. Unless you'd prefer it rough. I can guarantee from first hand experience that you won't be able to walk straight after he's done with you. Still interested?”  
Myungjun was hiding his face behind his hands. The skin visible between his fingers was bright red. His shoulders were shaking in silent laughter as Byungchul struggled to reply.  
“I'm not...I'm not gay.” Byungchul eventually spat. He was trembling with rage but strangely enough he wasn't lashing out.  
A look of exaggerated relief settled on Levis face. “Oh thank god. I was finding it hard to imagine having a threesome with someone with a face like yours. I don't think we have a paper bag big enough to cover such a mug.” He turned his attention to Myungjun behind him. “Come on Junnie. Let's go and find someone handsome to fuck.”  
They left unharmed and everyone who still remained to witness the exchange was left in a state of shock. Had Byungchul really just been shut down so savagely by that stranger? And without the need for violence too?

The impression Levi had left behind was clear.  
From that day forth the rumour of Myungjuns new boyfriend spread around the school like wildfire.  
Everywhere Jinwoo went people spoke of how cool Levi was. He saw more people than ever before trying to get close to Myungjun to find out more about the mysterious green-eyed man who had single-handedly managed to get out of a confrontation with Mortem unscathed.  
Byungchul seemed to have been deeply affected by the exchange too and wouldn't look at Jinwoo in the eye for over a week. He was clearly embarrassed that he'd let Mortem down so shamefully. Jinwoo didn't need to pretend to be pissed at the situation.  
But he wasn't pissed because of the damage Byungchul had done to his reputation. No, he was pissed at the way a complete stranger had come swooping in and plucked up his flower from right under his nose.

Jinwoo saw Myungjun and Levi together around the city often after that. Myungjun always looked so happy it made Jinwoo angry.  
Was Jinwoo really the only one who was still upset about their parting ways that day in the toilets a few months ago? Had Myungjun already gotten over it and moved on that quickly? And what was the true nature of Myungjuns and Levis relationship? They certainly seemed closer than just friends.  
_Well if Myungjun can move on, then so can I._ Jinwoo thought stubbornly as his eyes scanned the schools parking lot one day after school.  
His eyes fell on a pair of girls walking his way.  
Jinwoo plastered a cocky looking smirk on his face as he leaned back against the hood of his car.  
“What's up ladies?”  
They giggled and began whispering furiously to one another, trying to force each other to speak first.  
Jinwoo waited patiently. This was all a game to him. A game he'd played countless times before.  
The redhead spoke up first. Her voice was light and pleasant to Jinwoos ears. It matched her face full of gentle features.  
“Do you have any plans after school?”  
“I do now.” Jinwoo answered smoothly. He gestured lazily to his car. “Get in. Both of you.”  
Before Jinwoo could climb into the drivers seat after them he saw a familiar looking figure standing under the canopy of a leafy green tree.  
They stared wordlessly at each other for a second before Myungjun turned on his heel and left, clutching his books tightly against his chest.  
For some reason Jinwoo felt ashamed, like he'd been caught doing something he shouldn't have been doing.  
It was only when he noticed Levi waving happily from just beyond the school gates, like he did every day when he picked Myungjun up from school, that Jinwoo felt less ashamed and more indignant.  
If Myungjun could go and fool around with his new boyfriend then why couldn't Jinwoo hook up with all the girls he wanted?  
He slammed the car door shut with more force than necessary.  
“Are you okay?” The brunette in the back asked cautiously.  
Jinwoo grunted his confirmation and burnt rubber as he gunned it out of the lot.

Whenever Jinwoo needed to fortify his womanizer reputation he'd pick a random girl and take her home where he'd sneak her up to his room, show her exactly why he was rumoured to be great in bed and then send her packing before she could get comfortable.  
Jinwoo had never allowed a girl to stay the night before and that was still true to this day.  
However, his entire attitude towards taking a girl back to his room had changed completely since Myungjun had spent the night in his bed. All Myungjun had done in his bed was sleep, yet Jinwoo couldn't bear the thought of having anyone else amongst those sheets.  
Which is how he found himself entwined with two naked bodies beneath the sheets of a double bed in a motel suite. Now that Jinwoo had stopped seeing Myungjun at the Camellia, and stopped drinking and taking drugs, he suddenly had a lot of money he didn't know what to do with.  
So he'd splashed some cash on a nice room and felt relieved that the girls seemed to appreciate it too.  
They were both sleeping soundly when Jinwoo snuck out of the bed to find his clothes. One of the girls stirred but just cuddled up to her friend before falling asleep again. Jinwoo couldn't remember either of their names and felt a bit guilty about that so he left a note for them, telling them to get home safe, and left them both some money for a cab before stepping out into the cold night air.

Jinwoo wandered the familiar streets feeling lost. He didn't want to go home just yet but he didn't want to call out any of Mortems members either.  
Deep down he knew what he wanted, and he knew who he wanted to see but he didn't dare admit it to himself.

He'd been wandering for well over an hour and finally found himself within the cities main entertainment district. Maybe he could find something to do to pass the time here.  
The most tempting thought was going to watch a movie. It would be warm inside the theatre, he wouldn't have to talk to anyone and maybe he would even enjoy what was playing on the screen. It could be a good distraction.  
As he approached the sizeable building covered in advertising for the movies playing inside, he wished he'd picked something else.  
Because standing right outside was Levi, Myungjun and the boy Jinwoo had seen in some of the pictures on Myungjuns phone; Minhyuk.  
Jinwoos eyes refused to leave Myungjuns face. He'd shed the ugly glasses and was wearing his hair artfully styled. His outfit had an almost feminine flair and reminded Jinwoo all too much of the Myungjun who danced at the Camellia.  
Jinwoo swallowed down the lump threatening to form in his throat. He hadn't seen Myungjun looking so breathtaking in a long long time.

All of a sudden something warm bumped straight into Jinwoos shoulder from behind.  
“Oh no I'm so sorry! I wasn't looking where I was going. Are you okay?”  
Jinwoo had to look up to see who had spoken and realised with a start that it was the boyish barista, Sanha, that he and Myungjun had met before in the coffee shop in the next city over. What was he doing here?  
“Oh!” Sanha exclaimed. “It's you! Umm...Jinwoo right?”  
Jinwoo nodded.  
“I knew it! You're Myungjuns boyfriend. I wondered why Myungjun had invited the other guy but it makes sense that you'd be here too. Lets go!”  
Before Jinwoo could protest, Sanha grabbed a hold of his hand and pulled him across the street, calling out for Myungjuns attention.  
“Myungjun! I bumped into your boyfriend!”  
Jinwoo kept his expression passive as they came to a stop in front of the surprised trio.  
This was beyond awkward. All Jinwoo could think of was Myungjuns face when he had seen Jinwoo getting into the car with the two girls just hours earlier.  
Levi was the first to recover. “I didn't know you already had a boyfriend Junnie.”  
“I don't.” Myungjun answered too quickly, looking down at the floor.  
“Myungjun wouldn't be here with you if he did.” Minhyuk added.  
Myungjun elbowed Minhyuk in the ribs. Minhyuk just grinned.  
“You're not dating?” Sanha asked clearly surprised. “But what about when you came to the coffee shop?” He suddenly looked horrified. “Wait did you break up? Did I just make this awkward?”  
“We didn't break up because he never liked me in the first place. Isn't that right Jinwoo?”  
Jinwoo almost took a step back. The tone of Myungjuns voice was one Jinwoo had never heard before. He didn't like it.  
“I'll leave you guys to it.” Jinwoo mumbled as he turned to leave.  
Sanha made a noise of protest and held him back. “Wait! You were coming to watch a movie anyway weren't you? Don't let us stop you. Let's go!”  
Jinwoo was dragged into the theatre by the energetic boy who even paid for Jinwoos ticket too.  
“I bumped into you on purpose earlier.” Sanha confessed in a whisper. “I saw the way you were looking at Myungjun. He's wrong isn't he, about you not liking him?”  
Jinwoos eyebrows raised.  
“Don't worry. I'll make sure you get a good seat.” Sanha winked and hurried away to talk to Minhyuk.

True to his word, Sanha somehow managed to get Jinwoo seated beside Myungjun. Levi sat on Myungjuns other side looking perfectly at ease.  
Jinwoo was regretting this already. Being this close to Myungjun for the first time in months wasn't doing anything good for him.  
The lights dimmed until they were left in the dark and Jinwoos ears picked up the small intake of breath from beside him. He knew Myungjun wasn't too fond of the dark and automatically reached out to comfort him but managed to stop his hand right before it made contact. Jinwoo quickly pulled his hand back and tucked it into his lap as the giant screen in front of them came to life.  
The music of the opening credits poured out of the speakers around them.  
It was only then that Jinwoo realised he hadn't even asked what movie it was that they were watching.  
He realised with a sinking feeling that it was probably a romance as this was clearly a double date he had just crashed.

Ten minutes in and the main actor and actress were kissing. Jinwoo wanted to die. He tried to run through everything Grey had helped him revise the day before in his head to distract himself but it wasn't helping. Jinwoo was sure he could hear Sanha and Minhyuk making out on the other side of him too but he couldn't bring himself to confirm that suspicion. He just kept his eyes trained firmly on the headrest of the seat in front of him.  
Myungjun shifted in his chair and the scent of flowers tickled Jinwoos nose.  
Jinwoo tried to ignore it. He clenched his hands into fists and leaned away from him. But leaning away meant getting closer to the two kissing beside him.  
The actor and actress on the screen fell into bed together.  
When the woman moaned Jinwoo shot up from his seat, finally unable to take it anymore. He stepped over Sanhas and Minhyuks legs and left, hearing a small commotion behind him.  
When he reached the doors the actress screamed and Jinwoo turned to see her severed head roll across the carpet. Oh. So it wasn't a romance after all.  
Nothing could make Jinwoo stay here though.  
He shouldered his way out of the building and pulled his phone free from his pocket.  
_I should call Chul. I can break the rules just this once and get a drink with him._  
“Jinwoo.”  
Jinwoo froze with his thumb hovering over the call icon.  
Myungjun stepped in front of him, panting slightly like he'd just run after him.  
“What's up?” Jinwoo forced out, trying to remember how to breathe.  
“Why are you here?”  
“...I didn't like the movie so I left.”  
Myungjun frowned. “No. I don't mean why are you out here, I meant why are you here at all?”  
“Like Sanha said, I came to watch a movie. Why are you out here with me when you should be in there with your boyfriend?”  
“I-”  
“Junnie? Why did you leave? The movies just getting good.”  
A frustrated huff of air escaped Jinwoos lips before he could stop it as Mr Green Eyes arrived.  
“I'm leaving.” Jinwoo turned away and let the call to Byungchul ring through. He picked up on the first ring. “Chul? Lets go get a drink.”  
They made the arrangements and Jinwoo put the phone down.  
“You're drinking again?” Myungjun asked quietly.  
Jinwoo didn't turn back. “Enjoy your date.”  
He shoved his hands into his jacket and walked away.

*

Seeing Myungjun again, being near him, hearing his voice and smelling the scent of his skin had ripped open the hole in Jinwoos heart that he'd been trying to patch up ever since he called it quits.  
He knew it had been the right thing to do. The selfless thing to do. By keeping his sexuality hidden he was able to create the environment in the school that the students needed. They needed Mortems terrifying presence, they needed Jinwoo and the rest of his gang to watch over their every move, they needed it whether they knew it or not, whether they appreciated it or not.  
Jinwoo had already sacrificed so much for Mortem. So why was it so hard to sacrifice just one more thing? Why was it so hard to sacrifice the bond he'd built with Myungjun when it was for the sake of the masses?  
It was the right thing to do. It had to be.  
Jinwoo told himself that multiple times a day until he was sure the letters were now permanently etched into his brain.  
_You're doing the right thing._  
_You're doing the right thing._  
_You're doing the right thing._

If it was the right thing then why was he so unhappy? Was this karma finally paying him back in full for every sin he'd ever committed? Was this what he truly deserved after all; this chronic, debilitating pain?  
The hole Myungjuns absence left in Jinwoos heart throbbed unpleasantly around the edges at all hours of the day and it took all of Jinwoos willpower not to let that pain show on the surface.  
He'd always been good at hiding things, at wearing a mask, at being someone else.  
He'd been doing this for so long he wasn't even sure who he really was anymore.  
Perhaps he'd always been like this. The disappointment of a son, the bad friend, the terrible bully. Perhaps he'd been this person all along. It sure felt like it.

Jinwoo sighed for the thousandth time that day as he waited for the car in front of him to pull out of the schools lot. He tapped at his steering wheel impatiently just wanting to get home already. Grey was coming again today to help him study but he wanted to have some time alone first. He needed it.  
As Jinwoos car crawled forward a bit more he looked over at the schools gates out of habit.  
Sure enough, a familiar head of black hair could be seen waiting for the boy in the sweater.  
Myungjun appeared as if summoned by Jinwoos thoughts. He skipped over to Levi and Levi took his bags without being prompted too.  
Jinwoos knuckles turned white as he tore his eyes away.  
At first he'd been adamant that Myungjun and Levi weren't dating. He'd told himself that there was no way. Maybe even deluded himself into thinking that Myungjun wouldn't date anyone that wasn't him.  
But then he'd reminded himself that Myungjun had no problem becoming one of the Camellias companions and sleeping with clients for money even before he and Jinwoo had parted ways.  
The double date Jinwoo had crashed had opened his eyes. Maybe they really were together. Maybe that's why Myungjun looked so much happier with Levi then he had ever looked with Jinwoo. Jinwoo couldn't offer him anything more than sex. Whereas this Levi guy seemed to have the capabilities to offer him everything and more. For one, he could actually be seen in public with Myungjun without having to worry about the consequences.  
But where had he even come from?  
Myungjun had never once mentioned his name to Jinwoo before. Not that Jinwoo could remember anyway.  
Levi had just shown up out of the blue two weeks ago and thrown Jinwoos feelings into complete disarray.  
Jinwoo growled angrily and slammed the heel of his palm against the horn of his car. It blared loudly making all of the students nearby jump.  
The car in front of him was suddenly moving a lot faster, probably recognising the car behind them and not wanting to incur any more of Jinwoos wrath.  
Jinwoo slammed his foot down on the accelerator and turned the corner in front of the school gates at speed, feeling mildly satisfied at the sound of his tyres squealing in protest.  
Out of his wing mirror Jinwoo saw Myungjuns head turn in his direction.  
_I need to find out what their relationship is. I need to find out today no matter what._

*

Jinwoo dropped Grey off a street away from his actual house.  
“Thanks for the lift.” Grey smiled and climbed out of the car before leaning back in to grab his bag.  
“Thanks for tutoring me. See you tomorrow.”  
Jinwoo waited until he saw Greys head of silver hair disappear around the corner before turning the car around and setting off towards the shadier part of the inner city.  
He hadn't been down here in months and his heart was threatening to beat its way straight out of his ribcage from the anticipation.  
After parking the car and double checking that it was locked he jogged towards the ornately carved door.  
The neon flower above the door hummed gently and winked at him as he flashed his ID to the two bodyguards standing watch outside.  
They were different from the bodyguards Jinwoo had gotten used to seeing there before. The change made Jinwoo feel uneasy. He didn't like change.  
Fortunately enough, the inside of the Camellia looked, sounded and smelt exactly the same as he remembered. No noticeable changes there. He was glad.  
The pretty woman with the ocean blue eyes was the first to greet Jinwoo, as she always was, and she took his jacket with a smile.  
“Mr Park its been a while. I've missed seeing your handsome face.”  
Jinwoo laughed easily, already feeling himself relax. “How are things going? What's up with the change in door staff?”  
The woman's smile wavered slightly but she recovered so quickly that Jinwoo began to question whether he'd actually seen the expression falter.  
“Everything is well. The boss just wanted a change.”  
She was lying. Jinwoo didn't know how he knew, but something in his gut was telling him that the words coming out of her mouth weren't the truth.  
But he couldn't allow himself to worry too much and get distracted from the task at hand.  
“I see. I'm glad to hear things are still going well. But you know who I'm here for.”  
“He's with a client right now. Feel free to wait by the bar. Although you're not the only one waiting for him.”  
A bad feeling rose inside of Jinwoo and was confirmed when he saw a pair of eyes like emeralds shift his way from across the room.  
Maybe it was better this way. Maybe asking the man himself about his relationship with Myungjun would get Jinwoo more answers. It also meant he wouldn't have to see Myungjun if his suspicions were correct. He didn't know how he'd be able to look at Myungjun again if he really was in a relationship now.

Levi greeted Jinwoo with a polite nod before going back to the conversation he was having with Myungjuns security.  
Jinwoo took a seat on an empty stool at the bar and placed his usual order, paying upfront.  
Levi and Donghan were too far away for Jinwoo to hear what they were talking about over the music and laughter that choked the hazy air. But their body language told Jinwoo that the conversation was a friendly one.  
That alone left a bitter taste in Jinwoos mouth and he quickly downed in one shot the drink that was slid towards him across the polished surface of the bar. He himself hadn't been able to get to that level of friendliness with Myungjuns bodyguard in all the months he had been here.  
_I clearly don't fit into Myungjuns world as well as this guy does._

Before he could fall too far into that depressing thought, Myungjun appeared. The dancer looked beautiful as usual clad in his blood-red kimono with his hair and makeup styled to perfection.  
Jinwoo couldn't help but wonder what he was wearing underneath. He'd come too late into Myungjuns shift and missed his dance on the main stage so he guessed he wouldn't be finding out.  
Levi smiled at Myungjun and leaned in to whisper in his ear, one hand resting under Myungjuns elbow.  
Even the slightest of touches made Jinwoos blood boil but he reminded himself why he was here tonight and turned away from them to order another drink.  
It wasn't long before he felt a presence beside him.  
“Hello Jinwoo. We meet again.”  
Jinwoo took a long sip of his drink and rested the glass down on the bar before turning to face the handsome man beside him.  
His smile didn't look forced.  
But Jinwoo couldn't smile back. “Hey. What's your relationship with Myungjun?”  
The direct approach was all Jinwoo had the patience for right now.  
Levi seemed to ponder it for a while before answering amicably; “I don't think that's any of your business, is it?”  
The corners of Jinwoos lips turned up. This was the same guy who had trumped Byungchul with words alone. If Jinwoo wasn't careful he'd end up a victim of that sharp tongue too and Jinwoo knew he wouldn't be able to hold back from knocking the guy out cold if that happened.  
“You're the one that ended things with Myungjun in the first place, right?”  
“He told you about that?” For some reason that irritated Jinwoo. But that irritation was quickly overtaken by curiosity. He wondered what else Myungjun had told this guy about him. He was quick to grimace when he realised that it probably wouldn't have been anything good.  
“He's told me a lot of things.” Levi answered with a shrug. “We're close like that.”  
Jinwoo took a deliberate, calming breath in. He couldn't get angry now. He still hadn't been given the answer he needed.  
“What else has Myungjun told you about me?”  
“Enough for me to know that you don't have any right to go around asking questions.” Levis eyes condemned Jinwoo where he sat.  
_Myungjun must have told him that I used to bully him._  
The way Levi was treating him was enough proof that Myungjun hadn't had any good things to say about Jinwoo. Although he knew deep down that he deserved nothing less, Jinwoo couldn't help but get angry.  
That small spark of anger sparked and ignited everything Jinwoo had been bottling up inside. He didn't want to lash out with his fists in here. It was the only place he'd shown no violent sides and he wanted to keep it that way. The last thing he wanted was to end up getting banned.  
So he lashed out with his words instead, thinking about the worst thing he could possibly say to hurt Myungjuns new boyfriend.

“Did you know that Myungjun is a sex worker? He doesn't just dance here like he's probably told you. How does it feel to know that your boyfriend is a prostitute?”  
The second the words were out of his mouth Jinwoo regretted them.  
Anger flashed in Levis eyes but he just laughed. “You're as thick-headed as you look. I almost feel sorry for you considering how gullible you are.”  
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Jinwoo seethed.  
“Well considering the fact you two aren't seeing each other anymore, I guess I can tell you. Plus, I never want to hear you calling him a prostitute again.”  
Jinwoo waited impatiently for him to continue. If another condescending word came out of this bastards mouth Jinwoo was going to make him regret it. If he got kicked out then he got kicked out. At least he would have taught this guy a lesson for daring to look down on him.  
“Junnie made it all up. He doesn't work here as a companion.”  
Jinwoo scoffed. “I'm not gullible, you're just in denial. You think your boyfriend is a saint but he's not. I've seen Myungjun going into booths with multiple people to service them, and Donghan was always saying he had special clients.”  
“Donghan and Junnie are close. Of course Donghan would go along with whatever foolish plan my Junnie came up with.”  
'My Junnie' should have made Jinwoo angry and jealous but he was feeling too confused to even register those emotions. “What plan?”  
“It's not my place to say, but I think its obvious that he was trying to make you jealous at least.”  
“Why would he do that?”  
“Are you an idiot or something? Its because he likes you, you moron.” Levi didn't wait around any longer and finished his drink before getting up to leave. “A word of advice; sort yourself out. Junnie has never liked violence and I'm worried that you'll end up dragging him down with you.”  
“Wait...so you're not Myungjuns boyfriend?”  
Levi just rolled his eyes and left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things that hurt:  
> 1\. Jinwoos dad not wanting Jinwoo to have to feel guilty about failing and only wanting Jinwoo to be happy  
> 2\. Myungjun watching the girls getting into Jinwoos car. Poor guy knew what was going to happen.  
> 3\. Jinwoo reaching out in the dark to comfort Myungjun, only to realise at the last second that he's not allowed to do things like that anymore. I'm crying.  
> 4\. "You're drinking again?" "...Enjoy your date."  
> 5\. 'Was this what he truly deserved after all; this chronic, debilitating pain?' JINWOO SWEETIE
> 
> Things that restored my faith in humanity:  
> 1\. Levi rendering Byungchul a stuttering mess whilst hyping up Myungjuns prowess in bed *wheeze* (for those who don't remember, Jinwoo took Mjs V card so Levi was obviously just messing with Chul)  
> 2\. Sanha being the greatest wingman then jumping on his own man the second the movie starts.  
> 3\. Jinwoo being the sweetest and leaving the girls a note telling them to be safe and giving them money to get home.  
> 4\. Jinwoo reciting Greys teachings during a sex scene to distract himself.  
> 5\. Jinwoo being dense and having to confirm just once more that Levi and Myungjun weren't boyfriends despite just being told Myungjun likes him...Jinwoo baby please, you're killing me


	10. Soiled Petals.

_Myungjun likes me._  
_Myungjun likes me._  
_Myungjun likes me._  
Jinwoo gave an unmanly squeal as he rolled over in his bed, kicking his feet excitedly. Myungjun liked him, Myungjun wasn't dating Levi, and if the rumours were true; Levi would be going back to his home town today.  
Of course Jinwoo didn't know exactly how trustworthy Levis words were. Just because he had said that Myungjun had feelings for Jinwoo, didn't necessarily make it true. And even if it was true, would it even change anything? Not really. They still couldn't be together. It would only serve to make Jinwoo feel better about himself and the shitty situation he was in.  
But regardless of what would happen afterwards, Jinwoo still needed to confirm Levis words himself. He needed to hear those words coming out of Myungjuns mouth with his own ears.  
_Jinwoo I like you._  
Jinwoo buried his face in his pillow and screamed. The troubles in his heart and mind had lessened slightly after the conversation he had had with Levi the night before and he knew it would only lessen even more when he saw the dancers pretty face.

Jinwoo jumped out of bed and rushed to get dressed. The weather was supposed to be hot today so he threw on a tank and a pair of shorts and grabbed his favourite snapback. He jogged down the stairs with his shoes, wallet and phone and rushed to grab breakfast.  
“Good morning son.” His father greeted him cautiously from over the top of his newspaper.  
Jinwoo grabbed an apple and bit through the ripe, sweet skin. Juice rolled down his chin and he wiped it away as he stepped into his shoes.  
“Morning.”  
His parents exchanged a look behind Jinwoos back. Jinwoo never usually greeted them in return, opting to just act like they didn't exist instead.  
“Would you like something proper to eat? I'll cook you some rice.” His mother offered hopefully.  
“Nah, I'm good. See ya.” Jinwoo tossed the apple core in the bin on his way out of the door.  
“Grey is having a good effect on him I see.” Jinwoos father spoke up. “Maybe we should invite him round for dinner one day. Jinwoo might actually eat with us if we do that.”  
“Good idea. Although I was rooting for that Myungjun boy. But if Grey makes Jinwoo happy...” She sighed. “Jinwoo forgot his car keys again.”  
As if on cue, Jinwoo came barrelling back into the room. He snatched the keys off the table. “Shit. I keep forgetting.”  
“Language Jinwoo.”  
“Sorry!” Jinwoo called on his way back out.  
His parents shook their heads in disbelief. “He's even apologising now...”

Jinwoo was a nervous ball of energy all day at school. It was a free revision day, hence his lack of uniform, and although Byungchul and the others had bailed on the optional attendance, Jinwoo had turned up with more than one goal in mind.  
Firstly, Grey had offered to help Jinwoo study on school grounds so that he wouldn't have to turn up at Jinwoos house later that day. Jinwoo was grateful because it was tiresome trying to hide his revision sessions from his parents all the time.  
Its not that he was embarrassed about studying, he just didn't want his parents to see and get their hopes up in case he really did fail. That would only make their disappointment even more unbearable.  
The second reason Jinwoo had decided to show up was to see Myungjun. Surely there would be an empty classroom somewhere that he could drag the dancer into, so that he could extract the confession of his feelings from his pretty lips.

Myungjun was a nerd that loved to study and was at the top of all his classes, so Jinwoo had been sure that he would have turned up today.  
But lunch had already passed now and Myungjun still hadn't shown his face at any of his usual studying spots.  
It was only when Jinwoo was climbing into his car hours later feeling dejected that he remembered that today was Levis last day in the city. Of course Myungjun wouldn't show up for an optional day of studying when he could be spending his last few hours with his friend.  
Jinwoo cursed himself for overlooking that fact but he couldn't bring himself to think that the day had been a complete waste. He was finally beginning to understand some of the trickier material Grey had been teaching him and it had filled him with pride when he'd gotten a couple of the answers right.  
He really did owe Grey a lot.

Fortunately for Jinwoo, the rumours spreading about Levis departure from the city also included the name of his home town.  
Jinwoo was able to look up the train times and was relieved to see that he didn't have to wait long for the last train to depart.  
Myungjun would surely go back home straight after so Jinwoo was planning to catch him there.  
But first he needed to make sure no members of Mortem were in the area. He didn't need anyone recognising him or his car there as it would only raise a boat-load of unwanted questions.  
Jinwoo pulled up Mortems group chat and sent a message.

**To MORTEM: 6:33pm**  
**Meeting at [Attached location]. 7pm. Don't be late.**

The underlying threat was there and Jinwoo knew that no-one would disobey his orders without good reason.  
He still had time to come up with a reason for this impromptu meeting. And even if he couldn't think of something important, all he'd need to do was turn up with a crate of beers and everything would be good.

*

Beers it was.  
Jinwoo watched the friends who had become his second family get steadily more wasted around him, feeling only slightly guilty for the ulterior motive he was harbouring.  
The more sober of the bunch had gone out to buy more liquor and come back with bottles filled with alcohol a lot stronger than just beer.  
When the drugs started to circulate it was easy for Jinwoo to sneak away. Even if someone did notice his absence, they'd be too fucked out of their faces to look for him.  
Jinwoo had drunk his fair share of their stash but he wasn't worried about getting behind the wheel. He handled his liquor well and had no problem navigating the dark streets to Myungjuns house.  
He'd dropped Myungjun off there once before and had remembered the address. 

After parking his car a street away just to be safe, Jinwoo approached Myungjuns house feeling the butterflies dancing in his stomach.  
_Jinwoo I like you._  
If he heard those words tonight he was sure he'd be able to die happy.  
Jinwoo rapped his knuckles against the wood before realising there was a doorbell and ringing that too.  
The door opened thirty seconds later to reveal Myungjuns mother. She was as beautiful as her son and it took Jinwoo a second to recover from the visual attack.  
“Is Myungjun home?” Jinwoo asked.  
“Myungjun doesn't live here anymore I'm afraid. He moved out a couple of weeks ago. Why don't you give him a ring instead?”  
“I don't have his number.” Jinwoo admitted. “Can you tell me his address?”  
“He told us not to tell anyone who might come knocking for him.” She answered with an apologetic smile. “I'm sorry dear, I really can't help you.”  
Jinwoo sighed inside but thanked her anyway and left feeling disheartened. 

Then he was struck with an idea. A stupid idea but an idea nonetheless.

*

The office door opened with a pop and Jinwoo stuck the wire he had picked the lock with back into his pocket before looking left and right and sneaking inside.  
The main area of the school would be open until ten, but the office where students files were kept was already closed for the night.  
Using the flash-light on his phone, Jinwoo went straight for the filing cabinet labelled 'K' and flipped through until he found the Kim's. There were only five students in the entire school with the surname Kim so Myungjuns file was easy to locate.  
Jinwoo pulled it free and opened it up. He grinned at the face looking up at him. The picture was from when Myungjun had first joined the school. He looked so young despite it only being a couple of years ago now.  
Myungjuns file was thick with all of the accomplishments and rewards he had received and it make Jinwoo snort when he thought about how his own file would compare. He was sure that his would be thicker than Myungjuns, but instead of being filled with his academic achievements, Jinwoos would be filled with all of his wrongdoings and misdeeds.  
After taking a picture of the page that contained Myungjuns contact information, Jinwoos stuffed the file back into the cabinet and made his escape.  
He'd broken into plenty of places before so he knew how to cover his tracks so he wouldn't get caught and was back in his car in no time at all.  
He entered the address into the cars GPS and set off.

The closer Jinwoo got to his target location the more worried he became. The GPS was taking him to probably the roughest part of the city that actually existed, where crime was sky high and women stood on almost every street corner. Jinwoo drove down streets covered in tasteless graffiti and cracked windows and trash that skittered noisily along the pavements and crunched under the tyres of his car. The smells outside left a lot to be desired.  
He eventually parked up outside of a run-down looking apartment block.  
_There's no way Myungjun lives here. His parents wouldn't allow that._  
Jinwoo debated on whether or not to get out of his car but a movement by the door leading into the block made him duck down in his seat.  
“Why the fuck am I hiding?” Jinwoo whispered to himself as he peeked up to look out of the window.  
The only solitary blinking light above the main door illuminated the figure beneath it. Even though he was dressed all in black with a hood thrown up to cover his face, Jinwoo could recognise Myungjuns figure anywhere.  
_So he really does live here..._  
Another figure came out of the shadows and walked towards Myungjun. They conversed for a minute, the taller figure handed something to Myungjun and then they left together.  
Something twisted uncomfortably in Jinwoos stomach. It wasn't jealousy, or anger, but pure, cold dread.  
This wasn't right. Myungjun moving out, the shady neighbourhood, the run down apartment, the suspicious exchange. Jinwoo had made a lot of drug deals in his life and the exchange he had just witnessed had looked exactly like that.  
He didn't need to think about it before he was putting the switchblade he kept in the dashboard of his car for emergencies into the pocket of his shorts and jumping out into the cool night air to chase after them.

Jinwoo followed them for a while through the empty streets, keeping his distance so that he wouldn't get caught, before Myungjun abruptly stopped and pointed down the alleyway beside them.  
Broken parts of their conversation drifted to meet Jinwoos ears.  
“...here.”  
“...your place...cold...knees.”  
Myungjuns scoff was audible. “...gentleman...money...over with.”  
The taller guy shrugged and led the way. Myungjun seemed to hesitate momentarily and Jinwoo saw the way his hands trembled before he stepped into the alleyway after him.  
Jinwoo had frozen in place. He knew exactly what this was now but his brain couldn't accept that this was actually real. There was no way in hell Myungjun would seriously consider doing this.  
Jinwoo tried to swallow but his mouth was too dry. He stumbled forwards a step, and then another, and another until he was at the mouth of the alleyway.  
Sure enough he could see the two figures ahead of him. They'd stopped with the taller pressed back against the wall. He leaned down but Myungjun stopped him with a hand on his chest. Myungjuns voice was a lot louder in the confines of the smaller space.  
“You're not allowed to kiss me.”  
“Why not?”  
“I don't like it. I also don't want you to touch me.”  
“This isn't going to be any fun.”  
“Are you going to keep complaining or are you going to let me do what you paid me for?” Myungjun asked sounding impatient. “I haven't got all night.”  
“...Do you want me to put my jacket down? The ground is hard.”  
“Why are you talking so much?” Myungjun suddenly reached out for the other man's trousers and Jinwoo heard the sound of a zipper being pulled down.  
He was running towards them before he could stop himself.

The sound of his footsteps echoed loudly and both figures in front of Jinwoo looked around in alarm.  
“Jinwoo? What the-”  
Jinwoo yanked Myungjun away. But he didn't get the chance to do much more before something solid hit him in the side of the head.  
Jinwoo stumbled as his ears began to ring, drowning out the sound of Myungjuns panicked scream. Jinwoo dodged the next hit and kicked out as hard as he could. Perks of being short, Jinwoo kicked the guy straight in the crotch and watched with satisfaction as he crumpled to the floor.  
Knowing that he wouldn't be able to win this fight after seeing the guys fast reflexes, Jinwoo grabbed Myungjun and ran.  
As they neared Myungjuns apartment block, Myungjun finally started to struggle and fight back to get out of Jinwoos hold. Myungjun had never fought back before.  
“Let go of me Jinwoo! Why are you even here? Were you following me?”  
Jinwoo let Myungjun go and glared at him until Myungjun shrunk back in defeat.  
“That's not the question that needs answering right now. What the fuck were you doing back there?”  
“That's none of your business.” Myungjuns iciness matched Levis and it just served to make Jinwoo angrier.  
“Answer me Myungjun.”  
“I don't have to answer you! You don't really care anyway.”  
“Of course I care!”  
“You’re the one that pushed me away remember. You’re the one who chose your reputation as a homophobic asshole over me!”  
Jinwoo felt that like a slap to the face. They looked at each other in shock for a few seconds before Myungjun timidly backed down again and apologised. Jinwoo hated that even more.  
“Don’t apologise. It’s the truth. FUCK.” Jinwoo kicked out angrily at a stray can and watched it sail away. When it landed with a metallic clunk on the other side of the street Jinwoo turned back around to look at Myungjun again. “Just...please answer my question. Why are you doing this?”  
Myungjun burst into tears. “I didn’t have any other choice! I couldn't look at our stupid booth for one more day so I handed in my resignation yesterday and quit working as a Camellia. I spent all day with Levi looking for a new job because I can't afford not to have one but my grades at school have been dropping recently so no one else would hire me.”  
“So you think selling yourself to some random sleazebag is the answer?” Jinwoo asked angrily. “You’re not a whore Myungjun you’re a-”  
“A what?” Myungjun retaliated. “A nerd? Or a toy that only you can play with?”  
“A flower. I was going to say that you’re a flower.” Jinwoo whispered, reaching out hesitantly to brush Myungjuns hair out of his eyes. Touching Myungjun was dangerous for Jinwoos heart but he couldn't stop himself now that Myungjun was standing right here in front of him. “Delicate and pretty. You shouldn’t soil your beautiful petals with the hands of strange men.”  
Myungjun only leaned against his touch for a second before backing away. “Don't call me that. I'm not your flower anymore Jinwoo. You made that clear. I don't know why you're here right now, and I don't care. I just want you to leave. Don't show up here again.”  
“Wait!” Jinwoo stopped Myungjun from leaving by stepping into his path. “Let me help you. With money. Its the least I can do.”  
“I don't want your help Jinwoo. I'm not some charity case.”  
“Please Myungjun I-”  
“Don't you understand?!” Myungjun interrupted him on the verge of tears again. “I quit my job because I can't bear to look at the things that remind me of you. It was already hard enough seeing you at school and bumping into you all over the city and now you show up here of all places?” He was crying properly again now. “Stop saving me. Stop protecting me. Stop trying to help me. You're clearly just doing this out of guilt now and I hate it.”  
“Myungjun I'm not doing this out of guilt.”  
“Why then? Are you doing this because you suddenly care about me now? Does this mean we can go back to the way things were? I can go back to working as a Camellia so I don't have to worry about money and I'll see you there tomorrow at the usual time?”  
They both knew that wasn't going to happen.  
“Exactly.” Myungjun whispered sounding defeated. “Please Jinwoo just leave me alone. This is too much. I can't handle it anymore. Even now, after everything you've put me through, all I want is for you to hold me and make me feel better. I hate myself for still wanting that. Haven't you done enough?”  
The hole in Jinwoos heart throbbed more painfully than ever before as Myungjun pushed him aside before disappearing inside his apartment block.

_That's exactly why I have to help you with this. Because I've made you suffer so much._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jinwoo rolling around in bed squealing about his crush in the beginning makes me scream. He's so CUTE WAHHHHH
> 
> 'Even now, after everything you've put me through, all I want is for you to hold me and make me feel better.'  
> ME: JINWOO MY SON IF THIS ISN'T LOWKEY A CONFESSION I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS. *Praying for him not to be dense about this*  
> JW: *Blinks* Oh so he wants me to pay him back with comfort for what I've done? That doesn't necessarily mean he likes me though...  
> Literally everyone: *screaming internally*


	11. A Thorny Truth.

Jinwoo had never worked so hard in his life. He'd needed to earn the money through his own hard labour to repay Myungjun properly for all the pain Jinwoo had caused him. The odd jobs he completed were mainly illegal but paid well because of it and soon enough he had a healthy wad of cash saved up.  
Despite being told not to turn up at Myungjuns apartment again, Jinwoo found himself outside of the run-down block a week later.  
He rung the buzzer of Myungjuns neighbour, knowing that Myungjun wasn't likely to let him inside of the block himself.  
Luckily Myungjuns neighbour was home and opened the door for him.  
Jinwoo had to climb two sets of stairs to get to the floor Myungjun lived on and he knocked loudly on his front door.  
An entire minute later and the door opened. Myungjun had clearly just been dragged out of bed. If his rumpled, sleepy appearance was any indication. Jinwoo could understand why. It was six in the morning after all.  
“Jinwoo what the hell are you doing here?”  
Jinwoo thrust the envelope full of cash towards him. Myungjun took one look at it and sighed before stepping aside and gesturing for Jinwoo to come in.  
Jinwoo hadn't expected to actually be invited inside but he wasn't going to turn down the opportunity to see Myungjuns new home.

The inside was clean and cozy; a nice contrast to the world just outside and Myungjun told Jinwoo to take a seat whilst he made them a drink.  
Jinwoo sat down on the small but plush sofa and checked the latest messages in Mortems group chat as he waited. There was nothing exciting. A few memes and a link to an interesting looking website that Jinwoo bookmarked to look at later.  
A cup of steaming tea was handed to him and Jinwoo took it with thanks before moving over to make room on the sofa for Myungjun to sit down too.  
Myungjun slumped back against the cushions and closed his eyes. He looked drained. “What's in the envelope?”  
“Money.”  
“I told you I didn't want it.”  
“And I told you it was the least I could do. Just think of it as payment for all the times you danced for me at the Camellia when I couldn't pay.”  
Myungjun brought his cup to his lips. “How much money?”  
“Two and a half million won.”  
Myungjun choked on his drink and quickly put the cup down before turning to Jinwoo with wide eyes.  
“You didn't rob a bank or anything did you?”  
Jinwoo snorted in amusement. “That would have been one badass story to tell.” He grinned at Myungjuns look of disapproval. “I’m only joking. It doesn’t matter what I did, the fact is; I have the money and I'm giving it to you. Like I said, its my long overdue payment to you. So take it. Please.”  
“If I take it will you leave?”  
“Only if you tell me why you moved here in the first place. Do you live alone?”  
“Yes, I live alone.” Myungjun answered with a small frown. “I moved out because I wanted to be more independent. My parents trusted me enough to let me move out on the condition that I improved my grades in school and kept up to date with my rent.”  
“Do they know you live here in this neighbourhood?”  
“...No. They think I live somewhere else.”  
“I would ask how you managed that one but I have a feeling you won't tell me.”  
“That feeling is correct. Can you leave now?”  
Realising he had overstayed his welcome, Jinwoo nodded and placed the envelope of money on the stumpy coffee table in front of them. He didn't want to waste the drink Myungjun had made him so he drunk it all down in one shot. The hot liquid scalded on the way down but the tea was nice.  
Jinwoo carried his own cup out into the small kitchen and placed it in the sink.  
A notepad propped up nearby caught Jinwoos attention. The writing on it was too messy to be Myungjuns.

**Stay strong Junnie. Although things are hard now they won't be hard forever. Even flowers have to grow through dirt. You can do this. I be-leaf in you :) I'm only a phone call away, Levvie xo**

The message clearly meant a lot to Myungjun as he'd propped it up where he could see it. Jinwoo hadn't known that Myungjun liked these kinds of things. It reminded Jinwoo of the inspirational quotes his parents always sent him before his exams.  
“What are you doing just standing in here?” Myungjuns voice startled him and the truth slipped out before he could stop it.  
“Reading the note Levi left you. He came here?”  
“Of course he did. Where else would he sleep?”  
Jinwoo had only thought about Levi visiting during the day. He hadn't imagined that the guy would have actually stayed over. Did he stay over the entire time he'd been in the city? Where had he slept? This place couldn't have more than one bedroom as it was too small. But the sofa didn't look big enough for him to sleep on either.  
“Did you sleep together?” Jinwoo asked through gritted teeth.  
“What? Levis my best friend. Of course I wouldn't have sex with him.”  
That hadn't been what Jinwoo was implying but it was a relief to know anyway. He nodded once in approval before walking back through the apartment to put on his shoes.  
“Giving me that money hasn't changed anything Jinwoo. I still don't want you to come back here.”  
Jinwoo finished tying his laces and stood up straight to look at Myungjun properly. He'd been meaning to ask this question a week ago and he could sense that this was his last chance to do so.  
“Myungjun do you like me?”  
Myungjun didn't miss a beat. “Does my answer even matter anymore?”  
“It matters to me.”  
“And what if I don't want to give you an answer right now?”  
_Right now._ Did that mean Jinwoo could get an answer at a later time?  
“I can wait.” Jinwoo quickly backtracked. “But not for long.”  
“How long?”  
Jinwoo wanted to say something cheesy and romantic like 'I'd wait forever as long as you told me you liked me in the end.' But he was Park Jinwoo and this wasn't a damn romance movie so he answered with what his patience could realistically handle.  
“A week tops.”  
Myungjun stared at him for a few seconds. “I didn't expect you to give me an actual time limit. I really don't understand you Jinwoo. One minute you're telling me that you don't like me and that we shouldn't see each other anymore, and then the next minute you're turning up at my house, giving me money and asking whether I like you or not. If you don't like me then why do you care so much about what I think of you? Is this just you needing validation from yet another one of your conquests?”  
Jinwoo frowned. “You were never just a conquest Myungjun.”  
“I wasn't?” Myungjun closed the distance between them. His expression remained cold. “Then how were you able to just toss me aside so easily? You tossed me aside exactly how you toss all the other girls you sleep with aside. You fuck them once, get bored and then never speak to them again. Should I be grateful that you slept with me more than once, is that it?”  
Having Myungjun so close, his warm breath tickling Jinwoos lips, made Jinwoos head spin. He was finding it hard to concentrate. “Myungjun you've got it all wrong.” He managed to choke out.  
“Oh really? Then could you prove to me that you're not bored of me? That you've not tossed me aside?” The challenge was clear in Myungjuns voice but there was something almost desperate lurking in the depths of his warm brown eyes.  
Jinwoos entire body ached with the need to touch Myungjun again. But if he did, if he gave in to his feelings now, then all of the months they'd been apart would have been for nothing, a waste. If he was really willing to risk it all for Myungjun, he wouldn't have called it quits back then.  
“I want to.” Jinwoo admitted quietly. He owed Myungjun this truth at least. “But I can't.”  
“Why? Why can't you? This is about Mortem isn't it? About why its so important to you. Jinwoo please just explain it to me. You told me before that it was better if I didn't know the reason behind it, but how could this possibly be better? Weren't you happier when you were coming to see me at the Camellia every night? When we were actually talking? So please, just help me to understand why this has to happen to us!”  
Hearing Myungjun beg him so earnestly almost made Jinwoo spill his guts about the truth right there and then.  
Surely if he told Myungjun the truth then Myungjun would understand and maybe...just maybe...

“I'll tell you the truth, about why Mortem is important to me, when you tell me if you like me or not.”  
It was petty, Jinwoo knew it was. He didn't have to try and strike a deal like this when he could just tell Myungjun the truth without having an answer to his own question. But this was his last line of defence. He'd never wanted to reveal the truth behind Mortems creation. Only he and Byungchul knew and he'd wanted to keep it that way.  
“So you'll tell me right now?” Myungjun asked.  
Jinwoo nodded after a brief hesitation. “If you answer my question first.”  
Looking sceptical, Myungjun opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by the shrill sound of his phone ringing. Myungjun cursed and rushed back through the apartment to grab it.  
He returned to shoo Jinwoo away. “Its my dad. I have to answer it. Can we meet later?”  
“Sure. I'll text you.” 

When Jinwoo was back in his car, he slumped back against the leather seat feeling a strange sense of relief. Part of him was still scared to hear Myungjuns answer. Because there was still a very high chance that Myungjun didn't like him in that way at all. He could like having sex with Jinwoo, and like his company, but that didn't mean the feelings he harboured were in any way romantic.  
Jinwoo was also relieved that he could keep his own secret about Mortem for a little while longer.

*

Jinwoo watched as Byungchul performed a series of impressive tricks on his skateboard.  
They'd met up at the local skate-park to talk but Jinwoo knew that Byungchul wouldn't settle down until he'd shown off everything he had learnt since Jinwoo had last been here. He was like a little kid like that, seeking Jinwoos approval, and the thought made Jinwoo grin.  
As expected, when Byungchul was finished, he kicked up his skate board and rushed over to Jinwoo looking excited.  
“Did you see that? I totally owned that new trick! Did you like it?”  
Jinwoo leaned back on his palms. Little stones that littered the concrete dug into his skin. “It was cool. You looked good too. The girls over there were watching you.”  
Despite his bad reputation, Byungchul was a loyal guy. He scoffed. “If my girlfriend ain't among them, I don't care. But do you want me to teach you that trick? There must be a girl you're interested in and want to impress.”  
“Nah. None of the girls here are my type.” The only person Jinwoo could see in his mind was Myungjun, and he didn't think Myungjun was the type to be impressed by a few tricks. It made him wonder whether Myungjun had ever skated before.  
“There is a girl though isn't there?” Byungchul asked as he took a seat beside him. “I can tell. You've been acting different for a while now. Moody, quiet... _lovesick_.” The last word was said to tease.  
Jinwoo snorted and bumped shoulders with him. “Not a chance. If I was lovesick I wouldn't have gone off to that motel, would I?”  
It was easy to divert Byungchuls attention elsewhere. He took the bait and spent the next five minutes praising Jinwoo for managing to charm not one but two girls into his bed. Jinwoo let the words wash over him as he watched the group of girls nearby watch him. Out of habit he winked their way and snorted inside at their over-the-top reactions.

“Oi, stop flirting and listen to me when I'm talking!” Byungchul all but whined.  
Jinwoo turned back to look at him with a grin. “Sorry. What were you saying?”  
Suddenly looking serious, Byungchul repeated himself. “Its not just me whose noticed that your heads not really been in the right place lately. There's a lot at stake here Jinwoo, you need to sort yourself out.”  
“I don't need you to remind me.” Jinwoo sighed. “But haven't you noticed that the amount of challenges for our position from the gangs below us in school have been decreasing recently?”  
“That's true, but I'm not talking about the gangs in our school.”  
Jinwoos mood immediately darkened. “Did something happen?”  
“I caught three dogs from the academy sniffing around yesterday. Me and Bin sent them packing but its only a matter of time.”  
Jinwoo cursed and climbed to his feet to pace. The academy was the only private school in the city, full of snobby rich kids who had more money than sense. But to think that they had no actual strength behind them was a mistake. Money could buy a lot after all. And if they really were making a move now...  
“We don't have long do we?” Jinwoo asked. “They're not the type to wait around. I wouldn't be surprised if they moved as early as today. Shit this isn't good.”  
Byungchul stood up after him, looking the picture of reliability as he spoke. “Wanna go chill at school? I'm bored of the skate-park now anyway.”

*

**To My Flower: 1:12pm**  
**Its Jinwoo. Don't ask how I got your number. Something came up so I can't meet with you today.**

**From My Flower: 1:15pm**  
**I hope you didn't do anything illegal to get it. You could have just asked. Is everything okay? Mortem stuff?**

**To My Flower: 1:27pm**  
**Yeah, Mortem stuff. Don't come to school.**

**From My Flower: 1:30pm**  
**I'm already at school. Even though attendance was optional I still need to study.**

**To My Flower: 1:31pm**  
**Meet me at our spot on the roof.**

Myungjun was already on the roof surrounded by his study notes when Jinwoo arrived. Myungjun rushed over to him.  
“Jinwoo what's going on? Why didn't you want me to be at school? I've been watching people leave the school all morning. Was that your doing?”  
Jinwoo nodded and braced himself for the conversation to come. “I've been exerting my powers of...persuasion to get people to leave.”  
“Meaning you've beat people up?”  
“Only those who wouldn't listen to me.”  
Myungjuns frown deepened. “And why do we all need to listen to you? There better be a good reason. We're not just puppets you can order around whenever you want Jinwoo.”  
Running a hand through his hair Jinwoo sighed. “I know that. I'll tell you what's happening but first I need you to promise me something. Promise me you'll leave and go home when I've finished talking. Get Donghan to pick you up. Don't leave the school grounds alone. I'd drive you home myself but I really can't leave.”  
The colour had slowly been draining out of Myungjuns face as Jinwoo spoke. “Jinwoo what's go-”  
“ _Promise me._ ” Jinwoo ordered firmly, reaching out to clutch at Myungjuns arms. “Say it.”  
“I...I promise.”  
Jinwoo relaxed and let him go. “Good. I need to explain a few things before I tell you what's going on. I need to tell you about why Mortem is important to me, and why it should be important to you too.”  
He couldn't blame Myungjun for looking confused. Mortem had caused him nothing but suffering so why should it hold any importance in his life?  
“But you told me I had to answer your question first.” said Myungjun.  
Jinwoo just shook his head. “It doesn't matter right now. I don't have time. Just listen to me Myungjun.”  
Myungjun watched him silently after realising the seriousness of the situation and Jinwoo took a deep breath before continuing.

“What do I look like to you? Don’t answer that it’s rhetorical. I know I look like a thug, the leader of the toughest gang in our school. You think I bully people for the sake of it, for fun and for mindless violence and to an extent that’s true. I _do_ enjoy it. I do enjoy taking my rage and anger out on others because it makes people fear and respect me. But there’s a side of the story you don’t know. There’s another reason I do it. Our school isn’t the only school with gangs. There’s a whole other hierarchy out there that’s hidden to those of you outside of gang life.”  
“Are you saying that all of the schools in this city are competing against each other?” Myungjuns forehead was wrinkled in confusion as he tried to make sense of what he was being told.  
Jinwoo nodded. “Exactly. It’s been a constant struggle for power between our schools for as long as anyone can remember. If you have power, you have safety. The weaker schools get targeted more often. Other schools invade their turf, beating and mugging anyone they come across, knowing that there’ll be no repercussions because their gangs are too weak to fight back. The weak get dominated and their lives made a misery. I experienced it first-hand during my first year here. I was on my way home and got cornered by a gang from another school. They stole something important from me and beat me black and blue. I was weak back then and couldn’t do anything about it. And when I looked over their shoulders I saw them standing there watching; the so-called ‘top gang’ at our school. I called out to them for help and they did nothing. I was beyond angry and decided things needed to change. I got strong, worked my way to the top and overthrew the leader. After that I built up a reputation for myself and the school and eventually got my revenge. From then on, no other schools trespassed on our grounds and the reported number of skirmishes died down. I thought it would be okay after that but then my position as leader was challenged and I had to defend it, because I knew that no-one else would be able to do what I had done. No one else had the guts. And to rule you need to extract a certain amount of fear. Beating up a few of my fellow students here and there to save the masses? I thought I was doing the right thing. Every punch I gave was another 10 people saved. I was delusional...and then I met you.” Jinwoos tensed shoulders softened. “Quiet and timid, the exact sort of person I wanted to protect from harm at the hands of others. And then you admitted in front of us all that you were gay when you were confronted. I thought that that took a lot of guts too. You were strong despite being so weak and I became jealous. Jealous at how you were stronger than me mentally. You could embrace your sexuality even though it meant your doom. As you know, when I get jealous I tend to lash out and I started lashing out at you. It was cowardly of me. I just wanted to break you, to prove that I was stronger no matter what because of my insecurities. You made me question if I was really the right man for the job of Mortems leader, if everything I had worked for was really the right thing to do.” Jinwoo stopped to shush Myungjun softly. He’d been watching the tears fall down Myungjuns face for the past minute but Myungjun had begun to whimper now and the sound tore away chunks of Jinwoos soul. “Shhh don't cry.” Jinwoo wiped at Myungjuns face with his thumbs.

Myungjuns fingers dug into the front of Jinwoos shirt, holding on tight. “You should have told me sooner! Told everyone sooner! You’re doing this to protect us all but we’ve all had the wrong image of you in our-“  
“No.” Jinwoo interrupted firmly. “You have the right image of me. I’m a bad person who does bad things. Just because I’m trying to protect our school doesn’t mean my actions have been acceptable. Like you said, I’ve been acting like a homophobic asshole and I’ve caused so much damage, especially to you.” Jinwoos voice cracked but he persevered, looking Myungjun straight in the eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for everything I did to you. I called you my flower yet I trampled on you time and time again. I don’t deserve the feelings I have for you, or any feelings you may have for me in return, if they exist. I've been so obsessed with finding out if you like me or not but I realise now that...oh for fucks sake.”

Jinwoos phone had been buzzing insistently in his pocket for the last minute. He'd been trying to ignore it but he knew it must be important if it wasn't stopping. And the only reason he could think of that he'd be needed so desperately right now had him whipping his phone out and answering it immediately.  
The whole world seemed to tip on its axis as Jinwoo listened to Byungchuls panicked speech. It was only then that he heard it, a sound in the distance. The sound of fire alarms getting louder as the blaze spread through the school.  
Even Myungjun had stopped crying to listen to the noise, his eyes wide.  
However, the last words that came through the crackling speaker of Jinwoos phone threatened to knock him off his feet. He reached out with his free hand to grab Myungjun to steady himself.  
“What do you mean they have Bin?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...well.  
> In this chapter:  
> 1\. Jinwoo became Myungjuns sugar daddy  
> 2\. Levi's 'I be-leaf in you :) Levvie xo' CUTIE  
> 3\. Byungchul being an excitable child, a loyal boyfriend and a reliable friend all in one go...what?  
> 4\. The truth behind Mortems creation, that only Jinwoo and Byungchul knew about, was revealed DUN DUN DUUUUUUN  
> 5\. Jinwoo yet again getting poetic about his feelings. (I guess its safe to say the books Jinwoo hoarded in his little den on top of the schools roof were books on poetry, a secret hobby? He admitted he wanted to make music remember, maybe that includes lyric writing too and he's practicing on his man hmmm >.> Did Jinwoo just manage to get even cuter?? Yes. The answer is yes.)  
> 6\. GANG FIGHT. FIRE. BINNIE?!
> 
> Okay I'm done. I don't know why I always feel the need to recap things.


	12. A Fight Blooms.

“What do you mean they have Bin?” Jinwoos breaths came short and sharp.  
He had sent Bin off school grounds himself to pick up reinforcements so that they had more bodies to protect the school with.  
But now the school was burning under his feet and Bin had been snatched out from right under his nose.  
Jinwoo knew those bastards from the academy would move fast, but he didn't think that they would move as fast as this. Byungchul had only just chased them away with Bin the day before for christ's sake.  
And why were they targetting Mortems turf now? Was it because of what Byungchul had said about people noticing Jinwoos distracted state?  
The more Jinwoo thought about it, the more he realised just how careless he had been. He'd spent so many nights wandering around the city aimlessly, lost in his thoughts about Myungjun. It wouldn't have been surprising if someone from the academy had recognised him and noticed how Mortems leader looked distracted and more vulnerable than usual. And wasn't that always the best time to strike?  
“They gave you an address? Send it to me. I'll go and get Bin back myself.”  
Jinwoo put the phone down, picked up the solitary chair he had dragged up to the roof when making his private den up here, and launched it with a shout of fury. It shattered into pieces against a wall, the splinters raining down.

“Jinwoo?” Myungjun called out to him timidly.  
Jinwoo felt a flash of guilt for scaring him. “Sorry. SHIT, I'm so angry. I have to go Myungjun. Remember what you promised me; call Donghan and go home. Ask Donghan to stay with you if he can and if not then lock the door and don't come out for anyone that isn't me.”  
The paranoia was settling in. If Jinwoo had been seen wandering the streets then what else had he been caught doing? What if he'd been followed to the Camellia before? That would put Myungjun in danger too.  
“Jinwoo where are you going? Did Bin get kidnapped? Are you- oh my god is that a knife?!” Myungjun stared, horrified, at the switchblade Jinwoo had pulled out of his pocket. “Jinwoo that's illegal!”  
Jinwoo almost wanted to laugh. He didn't know why Myungjun was so shocked to see him carrying a weapon. He should know the type of person Jinwoo was by now.  
Jinwoo flicked the blade open to make sure it was still well-oiled enough to use at a moments notice and after deeming it acceptable he put it back into his pocket and sent a quick text before pocketing his phone too.

He faced Myungjun. He didn't want to go. He didn't want to leave Myungjun behind unprotected but he just had to hope that Donghan would do a good enough job.  
Jinwoo pulled Myungjun in for a hug, hugging him tight and breathing in the scent of him one last time. Flowers. Why did he always smell of flowers?  
Jinwoo pulled back, only enough to look at Myungjun properly, keeping his arms around him. He saw something troubling in Myungjuns eyes.  
“Don’t follow me.” Jinwoo commanded firmly, reading Myungjun like a book. “You can’t get involved in this.”  
“Well what is _this_? Tell me why you need to carry around a knife Jinwoo! Is Bins life really in danger?” He sounded panicked and it hurt Jinwoos heart to think that Myungjun had to feel this way.  
“He’s a hostage, of course his life is in danger. And as gang leader I need to be the one to save him. He’s a good guy, he doesn’t deserve the shit they’re probably doing to him just so that they can provoke me and lure me out. But don’t worry,” Jinwoo stroked Myungjuns cheek gently and smiled. “I’ll come back no matter what. I promise.”

When Jinwoo tried to pull away Myungjun just held on tight. “Can't we just ring the police?”  
“If it was that simple I would have rung them already. The guys who have taken Bin all belong to powerful families in this city. They could twist the narrative in an instant and make us out to be the bad guys and...I can't get in trouble with the police again Myungjun. If I do I'm getting locked up.”  
Myungjuns bottom lip trembled. “Are you really doing this?”  
“I have to. But like I promised; I'll come back. Have some faith in me. I'm not one to be so easily defeated.” Jinwoo peeled Myungjuns hands from his shirt and lifted them to press a gentle kiss against his knuckles. “Remember the emergency exit I showed you before? Get off the roof that way. The fire started on the other side of the school so you still have some time. I can't stay any longer. I'll text you.”  
Jinwoo dropped Myungjuns hands and left as fast as his feet could carry him.

 **Myungjun**  
Myungjun stared at Jinwoos retreating back feeling a mixture of shock and horror. Everything Jinwoo had just revealed to him, about Mortem and the situation unfolding at that very moment, was almost too much for him to comprehend.  
Thinking back to the first impression he'd ever been given of Jinwoo, he couldn't help but shake his head.  
Jinwoo wasn’t at all who Myungjun had thought he was.  
Myungjun had known all along that Jinwoo wasn’t the same as his other bullies but he hadn’t been expecting this.  
Jinwoo had always had a different look in his eyes when he'd hit him and now Myungjun knew why.  
Not only was Jinwoo feeling trapped and unable to be himself, but he was also trying to save every single one of them from the torment they would be facing every single day at the mercy of others.  
The exact others he was going to face now, armed with a knife and a twisted sense of justice.  
Myungjun was terrified for him. 

He knew Jinwoo said not to follow him and Myungjun knew why; as usual Jinwoo just wanted to protect him, to keep him safe.  
But Jinwoo also needed protecting.  
He was walking into a lions den to rescue one of his own.  
Myungjun couldn’t just idly sit by and do nothing. He knew he couldn’t fight, he wasn’t strong enough or skilled enough for that, but he was smart and sometimes brains was more important than brawn.

*

**Jinwoo**

When Jinwoo arrived at the address Byungchul had sent him, he came face-to-face with the last person on the planet he would have expected to be there.  
Standing off to the side, and wearing the same immaculately presented private school uniform as the other thugs filling up the warehouse, was none other than the Camellias trainee clerk. Dongmin.  
Dongmins eyes widened slightly when he recognised Jinwoo, but he shook his head infinitesimally as Jinwoo started to approach him.  
Jinwoo paused. Dongmin was right, they probably should be acting like they didn't know each other.  
But what the hell was Dongmin doing here in the first place? He didn't seem like the type to be involved in a gang.  
Jinwoos eyes scanned the space, taking note of all the big names present and trying to spot who the leader was.

It became apparent immediately by the body language of those around him. That guy clearly held the most authority.  
“Instead of hiding at the back, why don't you step forward and tell me what the fuck you want.” Jinwoo called out to him with a forced air of calm.  
Bin was no-where to be seen. Had he just walked right into a trap?  
The young man that stepped forwards laughed. “Wow I'm impressed you were able to pick me out of a crowd. Your reputation precedes you.”  
“I'm not here to talk. Where's Bin?”  
The leader tutted as if he were disappointed. “Patience it a virtue Jinwoo. You'll see him again soon, but don't you think introductions are needed first?”  
“You clearly already know all about me, and judging from your appearance I can take an educated guess as to who you are too.”  
With his model-esque air and perfectly maintained, camera-ready appearance, this douche in front of him could only be the son of one man.  
“Your dad is the chairman of that big modelling agency right? Which makes you a Lee something or other.”  
A perfectly manicured eyebrow twitched in irritation. “It's Lee Beomsu.”  
“Okay Bumsu, introductions over. Now let Bin go and I'll be kind enough to forget all about this.”  
“Its _Beomsu_.” The blonde brat seethed.  
Jinwoo knew perfectly well how to pronounce his name, but in a situation like this, this war of words, whoever lost their cool first would lose.  
Beomsu clearly knew this too as he was quick to feign indifference as he gestured to Dongmin.  
Dongmin inclined his head respectfully before walking to a door and opening it up. Two burly men in suits dragged a body inside and sat him down in the empty seat provided.

Jinwoo shook with rage at the sight in front of him.  
Bins wrists were tied with a length of rough rope that had chaffed the skin underneath raw. He was gagged and unconscious, his head lulling against his chest. His face was littered in cuts and bruises and a pool of blood was slowly forming at his feet from an unseen wound.  
“What the fuck have you done?!” Jinwoo hissed angrily. “Do you have a fucking death wish?”  
Beomsu laughed, grabbing a handful of Bins hair and yanking his head up. Bin groaned around the cloth stuffed into his mouth but didn’t open his eyes.  
“It’s you who has a death wish. You came here knowing full well how many of us there would be and brought only...” he counted the people standing ready behind Jinwoo. “Four other people? There's five of you and twenty of us. You’re either trying to play the hero or you’re just downright stupid.”  
Jinwoo bristled. He knew he was severely outnumbered, but he also knew he didn’t need even numbers to win a fight, he just had to be smart about it.  
“Five is all we need to kick your ass.” Jinwoo spat.

**Myungjun**

Myungjun hid nervously behind the warehouse door.  
He’d followed Jinwoo at a safe distance and had been led to one of the old abandoned warehouses on the outskirts of the city.  
The second he’d seen the severe disadvantage Jinwoo was at, and the state Bin was in, Myungjun had panicked and nearly blown his cover immediately.  
But he’d stopped himself just in time.  
Jinwoo didn’t need him running out screaming and complicating things further. Instead, Myungjuns hands shook as he dialled the number for the police.  
But then he paused.  
Calling the police would only get Jinwoo in trouble too and he was holding a knife of all things. Jinwoo would be in just as much trouble as the rest of them and he'd already warned Myungjun of the consequences he'd face if the police were to get involved.  
Myungjun locked his phone and stuffed it back into his pocket, gnawing nervously on his lower lip as he peeked around the door again to eavesdrop.  
Why was Dongmin here? What did these people want? What could Myungjun do to help?  
_Think Myungjun, think._  
All thoughts came to a grinding halt and his blood ran cold as he watched Jinwoos hand sneaking into his pocket.

**Jinwoo**

“How’s about we do this one-on-one?” Jinwoo asked the other leader with a tilt of his head. “There won’t be much to brag about if you have to use all your man power to take the five of us down. It would be pretty embarrassing for you actually. So why don’t we go head-to-head? Let’s see which leader is stronger.”  
Beomsu's eyes narrowed. “Do you think I’m stupid? You’re just scared because you’re outnumbered. A one-on-one fight would prove nothing.” He gestured for the two closest to him and they rushed at Jinwoo like bulls. “We can finish this talk after you've been beaten down a peg or two. That cocky smirk on your face won't be sitting there for much longer.”  
Jinwoo grinned. This idiot was falling right into his trap. The fact he'd sent out only two meant he was testing Jinwoos strength. As long as Jinwoo didn’t falter, and put on a good enough display, he’d win this without any real trouble.  
Then after he'd proven who the better leader actually was, he'd be able to get some real answers. Like why they'd dragged Bin here in the first place and what they were really aiming for.  
After telling Byungchul and the others behind him not to get involved, Jinwoo dodged the first fist aimed his way and let the grip he had on his switchblade go. It settled back down in his pocket. He wouldn’t need it just yet.  
The second punch he blocked with his arms before sending back one of his own. It collided and sent one of the lackeys sprawling.  
Jinwoo charged at the second guy, bowling him over.

A scream tore through the air. The sound was so familiar it froze the blood in Jinwoos veins. His head whipped around.  
Myungjun was being dragged into the warehouse by his hair, desperately struggling to get away.  
For half a second their gazes met.  
Then a fist collided with Jinwoos jaw.  
The pain was sharp and threw him off balance.  
The guy beneath him rolled them over easily and Jinwoo tried his best to block the oncoming punches raining down from above.  
“What the fuck is that fag doing here?” Byungchul asked, jumping into the fight at last and kicking the man off of Jinwoo before pulling Jinwoo to his feet.  
Jinwoo growled angrily at the slur but let it slide.  
The worst thing to do in this situation was reveal his and Myungjuns close relationship. Jinwoo would lose all his support in the blink of an eye and he and Myungjun would be in even more danger.  
“It doesn’t matter what Myungjun is right now. He’s still a student at our school and we don’t let anyone mess with our own right? Remember the reason we started Mortem, Chul.”  
The hesitant but proud nod he received in return was enough and Jinwoo turned to look for Myungjun again.

**Myungjun**

The pain in Myungjuns head increased as he was pulled to a stop.  
The hand in his hair let him go and pushed him down to the floor at the leaders feet.  
“What are you doing here little mouse?” The leader purred, nudging Myungjuns face up by the chin with the toe of his perfectly polished shoe. “You were caught spying. Are you here on their side?”  
“I...I called the police.” Myungjun stammered, thinking about the phone he had hidden under some empty boxes outside. Not long now...  
“So you’re a dirty fag AND a snitch?” The guy asked with a sneer of disgust. He leaned down and yanked Myungjun up to his feet by the collar of his shirt.  
“NO!” They both turned at the sound of Jinwoos roar. “GET YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF OF HIM!”  
“Shut him up.” The leader instructed sharply.

Jinwoo and his friends fought hard but the number they faced was just too overwhelming.  
A flash of metal and Jinwoo was suddenly holding his knife in a backwards grip, with both his arms held up in a defensive stance. The feral look on his face was terrifying.  
Beomsu tensed above Myungjun for a second before calling for the two men guarding Bin.  
The sound of two pistols being cocked stopped the fight in an instant. It was as if everyone in the room had been frozen.  
Myungjuns heart lept into his throat when he realised the men guarding Bin had their guns pointed straight at Jinwoos head. Even Jinwoo looked stunned.  
“Drop it.” One of the men ordered.  
Jinwoo hesitated. The man took a step forwards and slipped his finger over the trigger.  
Myungjuns body reacted. He started to squirm and lashed out against Beomsu's hold, trying to get to Jinwoo, to stand in front of him to protect him if he had to.  
It was only when one of the pistols was pointed in Myungjuns direction that Jinwoo dropped the knife. It clattered noisily to the floor.  
The fight in Jinwoos eyes died as he was descended upon.

All Myungjun could do was watch as Jinwoo was beaten down in front of him. The threat of the pistols kept the rest of Mortem at bay.  
Byungchuls eyes were full of unshed tears.  
Grunts of exertion and pain filled the air but Jinwoo never once cried out or begged them to stop. He accepted everything he was given in silence.  
“Please don’t do this!” Myungjun whimpered when Jinwoo was eventually dragged towards them.  
There was blood running down Jinwoos face from his hairline and his eyebrow was split but he otherwise looked okay. Just terribly angry.  
Myungjun knew the worst of Jinwoos injuries would be to his body. He was struggling to stay on his feet.  
“Myungjun.” Jinwoo sounded tired. “Are you hurt?”  
Myungjun wanted to cry. Even in a situation like this, Jinwoo was only thinking about other people.  
The grip around Myungjuns arms tightened and the leader made a noise of understanding. “I see. So he’s the guy you’ve been fucking. How disgusting.”  
Myungjun flushed. The looks he and Jinwoo were receiving, from friend and foe alike, spelled nothing good. He had to do something. 

“What are you saying? I'm not having s-sex with him.” Myungjun blurted out. He didn’t miss the look of relief that crossed Jinwoos face and something inside of Myungjuns gut burned horribly. He pushed the feeling away and continued. “I...I like Jinwoo. I wanted to confess to him today but he rejected me, calling me horrible names. I was...I was h-hurt by it and followed him here.” Myungjun stood up straighter, his voice becoming stronger in his desperation to pull off this successful lie to protect the one he loved. “I wanted to hurt him in return. I was going to ruin his reputation in front of his friends.”  
“Like we’d ever believe a word that comes out of your filthy mouth.” Byungchul spat.  
Myungjun didn’t feel hurt by the insult, he just felt relieved. At least someone was buying into the lie.  
“Jinwoo would never go anywhere near someone like you. Isn’t that right boss?”  
Something akin to pain crossed Jinwoos features but it was gone in an instant. A cold, unreadable mask was left behind.  
“Of course not. The only relationship we’ll ever have is as classmates. And even that is unsavoury enough.” Jinwoos tone was clipped, distant, somewhat angry.  
Myungjun knew he didn’t really mean it, but the words and the look he received still felt as painful as a bullet to his heart.

**Jinwoo**

Jinwoo felt nothing but sickness as he spoke. He saw the obvious hurt in Myungjuns eyes as Jinwoo yet again rejected and insulted him, and Jinwoo wanted nothing more than to take it back.  
But he also didn’t want to put Myungjuns hard work to waste.  
Myungjun had yet again sacrificed his pride and his reputation, making himself out to be a scornful creep to spare Jinwoo anymore trouble.  
Jinwoo didn't deserve him.

The look in Beomsu's eyes made Jinwoo freeze. It was a look of mistrust.  
_He didn’t believe them._  
“So you wouldn’t mind if I kissed him right?” The guy asked with a smirk, turning Myungjuns head around to face him again. “I would rather lick the bottom of my own shoe then kiss this creature but something is telling me you’re lying. So let’s see.”  
Jinwoo watched as Myungjuns eyes squeezed shut, his body stiffening.  
Jinwoos anger peaked as their lips got closer.  
He couldn’t let this scumbag kiss his flower. He couldn’t. No matter what trouble it would cause Jinwoo, he couldn’t let someone else kiss him. Ever. 

Jinwoo opened his mouth to stop them but the sound of sirens suddenly pierced through the air. The grip on Jinwoos arms disappeared immediately and he dropped to the floor as his two captors scattered.  
It was chaos.  
Everyone ran for the exits, including Bin who was conscious now and cut out of his bindings by Byungchuls knife.  
But Jinwoo only ran for Myungjun. The sudden shot of adrenaline making him forget all about his injuries.  
Myungjun had been pushed away and when Jinwoo reached him he helped Myungjun back up to his feet.  
“We have to go. Now.” Jinwoo said firmly as the sirens got closer.  
Myungjun giggled weakly. “That's my phone. I didn’t really call the police. I set an alarm and hid my phone under some boxes before I was caught. It took long enough.”  
Jinwoo blinked a couple of times, hardly believing what he was being told before laughing out loud.  
The dancer in front of him had been able to cause this much mayhem with a phone alarm alone. How ridiculous. 

A quick look around the warehouse told him they were alone now, and he knew everyone would be rushing to get away without looking back so he risked it and pulled Myungjun up against his chest. Myungjun felt so small in his arms.  
“I guess this is a perk of you being a nerd. You use your brains instead of your fists.”  
Myungjuns grin lasted for a few seconds before his expression fell.  
“Myungjun? What’s wrong?” Jinwoo asked worriedly. “Are you hurt anywhere? Should we go to the hospital?”  
Myungjun choked on a sob and buried his face in the crook of Jinwoos neck. “You dummy, you stupid idiotic idiot! You came charging in here knowing you’d be outnumbered and you nearly got yourself killed because of it! You’re bleeding and limping and all you care about is _my_ injuries? You asshole!” Myungjun pulled away to glare at him. “How dare you put me first all the time!”  
Jinwoo stared at him feeling utterly perplexed. “But-”  
“No buts! We’re going to the hospital right now, but we’re going for you!”  
Jinwoo was yanked towards the exit before he could protest.

Neither Jinwoo nor Myungjun noticed the figure standing in the shadows, watching every moment of their more than friendly exchange.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'You dummy, you stupid idiotic idiot!' Myungjuns insults scream baby boy :'] Must protecc
> 
> But Dongminnie my dude, what the frickle frack were you doing there?


	13. Not All Flowers Are Beautiful.

Jinwoo was discharged from the hospital the next day. He'd been made to stay overnight for a suspected concussion on top of the unfortunate injury of a busted ankle.  
It was unfortunate because it meant using a pair of crutches until the swelling went down and Jinwoo felt like a complete invalid hobbling around on them.  
His parents were horrified when they were called by Jinwoos doctor and came rushing down to see him.  
However, Jinwoo wasn't willing to disclose the real reason he'd ended up in the hospital. He didn't need them being any more disappointed in him by finding out he'd been involved in a gang fight of all things.  
So instead, Jinwoo claimed he'd been injured falling down the stairs whilst fleeing the blaze that had destroyed an entire quarter of the schools property before it was finally extinguished.   
The incident had been so traumatic to many of the students that Mortem hadn't been able to evacuate in time so Jinwoos claim wasn't questioned and he only felt a little guilty for lying.  
Fortunately, no-one had been seriously injured and apparently the school had no idea how the fire had even started in the first place. There wasn't a single trace of evidence left behind that pointed to it being a crime of arson, so it was just chalked up to having been an accident.  
Jinwoo had his own suspicions though and before leaving the hospital he made a visit to the one person who might hold all of the answers to the questions swirling around in his head.

Bin had been beaten badly and was told to stay in hospital for the time being. The most worrying of his injuries being the deep gash on his hip that he couldn't even remember receiving.   
Jinwoo set his crutches aside as he dumped himself down in the chair beside Bins crisp white bed.  
It made him so angry to see the state of his friend covered in bandages and wires.  
“It looks a lot worse than it actually is. Half of this is just precautionary.” Bin reassured him after seeing the expression on Jinwoos face. Bin tried to smile but winced. “Damn. They really got me good huh?”  
Jinwoo swallowed down his anger. “The doctor said you don't remember much. Is that true?”  
“Its not a complete lie. I just couldn't tell them what I do remember.”  
Jinwoo could understand that and he was grateful to Bin for keeping quiet.   
“So what do you remember? Did they say anything to you about why they'd taken you in the first place and what they wanted?”  
“Not really, but they mentioned a flower once or twice. A camellia. Does that mean anything to you?”

_A camellia._  
 _The Camellia._  
 _They know about the club._  
Had they been talking about it because they knew of Dongmins occupation? Did Bin just catch them having a casual conversation? Or did they know Jinwoo frequented the club? Did that mean they knew about Myungjun?  
“I need to speak to Dongmin.” Jinwoo muttered to himself.  
Bin cleared his throat to get Jinwoos attention. “I want to go with you. To speak to Dongmin.”  
“You know who Dongmin is?”  
“He was the one who lured me to the warehouse. I guess I have some things I want to say to him.”  
Jinwoo stared pointedly at Bins battered body. “You're in no condition to be coming with me.”  
“Boss I can-”  
“No.” Jinwoo interrupted him firmly. “You need to rest. I don't care whether your injuries are not as bad as they look. If you really need to speak to him, I'll arrange a meeting for you when you feel better. But for now I need to go alone.”  
After a moment of tense silence Bin nodded and relaxed back against the pillows with a sigh. “Okay. But boss...no, Jinwoo, can I ask you something?”  
“Anything.”  
“Do you really not trust us to stay by your side if we learnt the truth?”  
Jinwoo frowned. “What are you talking about? I don't understand.”  
Bins gaze was steady as he looked Jinwoo straight in the eye.  
“The truth about Myungjun. You're together right?”

Jinwoo was glad he was sitting down.   
“I...I don't know what you're talking about.” he whispered.  
The panic and the anxiety of finally being caught overwhelmed him without warning.   
This couldn't be happening. Not now. The grip he had on the arms of his chair tightened as he tried to keep himself grounded.  
“There's nothing going on between me and Myungjun. Together? Don't make me laugh. He's a nerd. He's not my type...no. I don't like guys. I'm not gay.” Jinwoo shot up from his seat when he noticed Bin was watching him with nothing but pity in his eyes. “I'm not! I'm not gay! You've seen all of the girls I've slept with. If I was gay I wouldn't have been able to sleep with them, would I? I don't know where you got that ridiculous idea from but get rid of it. You're wrong.” Jinwoo reached for his crutches as the pain in his chest increased, but he was blinded by panic and missed.  
Bin leaned over and caught hold of Jinwoos arm as he stumbled.  
“Jinwoo calm down. I'm not going to-”  
“I'm calm!” Jinwoo yelled, yanking his arm away. “It's you who needs to calm down! Do you realise what you've even just said? Do you realise what that could do to Mortem if someone heard you saying that? I get it, you don't really understand, you were one of the last to join us, but its dangerous to go around accusing me of being a...a...a dirty fag.” Jinwoo choked on the word. 

He knew he was losing it and that he needed to get back in control of his emotions, but Bin was still looking at him like he pitied him, like he was sad for him.  
Like he truly believed in what he'd just said...  
“Jinwoo I've seen you.” Bin replied quietly. “More than once. You and Myungjun. If I wanted to rat you out don't you think I would have done so already?”  
Jinwoo couldn't believe what he was hearing. There was no way Bin was telling the truth.   
“The first thing I noticed was the coupons for the coffee. You always carried them around in your wallet and then Myungjun was caught outside of your locker holding them. I'm not as dumb as you think I am. I managed to put those clues together at least.”  
Jinwoo couldn't breathe.   
The day Bin spoke of was also the day Myungjun had slept over at Jinwoos house, months and months ago.   
“I also saw you the day you took Myungjun out of the city. It was hard to recognise him with his hair out of his face at first. He's also Ren isn't he? The fake transfer?”  
Jinwoos legs gave out and he slumped back down in his chair unable to do anything but stare at Bin in horror.

“You've been protecting Myungjun this entire time, beating up anyone who said anything nasty or bullied him. You got suspended for starting that fight in the cafeteria because of him. That's why Myungjun pretended to be someone else the entire time you were suspended. Because he was worried about being alone, right?”  
“Why didn't you tell everyone that Ren was Myungjun?” Jinwoo managed to ask.  
Bin shrugged. “It was none of my business. I knew he must have had a reason, and like I said, I guessed the reason was you being gone. Why would I expose Myungjun when I knew what that would mean for him?”  
“I don't...I still don't understand. Why would you care enough to protect his identity?”  
“Because you care about him and you're my friend.”

Tears stung at Jinwoos eyes and he had to look away.   
“Just because I didn't want people to bully him anymore doesn't mean I like him in that way. Maybe I just felt guilty for bullying him myself and was trying to make up for that.”  
“Then how do you explain fucking him in the toilets?”   
The question was asked so directly, so shamelessly, it stunned Jinwoo into silence.  
“I saw you drag Myungjun in there and order everyone else out. You weren't exactly quiet about it either. I tried to stop Byungchul walking in on you but then we heard Myungjun shouting and I couldn't stop him.”  
 _That's why we heard Bin and Byungchul arguing outside._  
Jinwoo buried his burning face in his hands. There was no way he could find a believable enough excuse to get out of this one. He knew he'd been too obvious. Especially when Myungjun had left the toilets looking so dishevelled.  
Jinwoo was sure the toilets had probably reeked of sex anyway.  
 _I'm such an idiot._

The realisation he'd been caught drained the fight out of Jinwoo completely.  
It was over. Everything was over. Everything he'd worked for was ruined. All of the effort he'd put into hiding his and Myungjuns relationship had been a waste.  
“What do you want?” Jinwoo asked tiredly.  
Bin looked confused. “What do you mean what do I want?”  
“You must want something for calling me out, right? Like something to keep you silent? Or are you just planning on exposing me to the rest of Mortem anyway?”  
Anger flashed across Bins face. “You think I want something from you? Haven't you even been listening to anything I've just said? Wouldn't I have approached you to bribe you much sooner than this if that were true? And why would I do it when I'm bedridden and at a clear disadvantage anyway? If you decided to silence me on the matter I couldn't fight back right now, could I? Like I said Jinwoo; you're my friend. Friends don't do that shit to each other.”  
“But I'm gay.” Jinwoo shot back. “Or bisexual or whatever. Aren't you disgusted?”  
“Anyone who'd be disgusted by that is a fucking idiot.” Bin answered bluntly. “You're not Jinwoo because of who you like to fuck. You're Jinwoo because of who you are as a person. And who you are as a person is exactly why I'm your friend. Stop acting like your sexuality defines you. It doesn't. I know that, you know that, hell, I bet even _Byungchul_ knows that. Although he probably wouldn't admit it aloud.”  
“But Byungchul-”  
“Byungchul is a homophobic idiot because his brother is a gay idiot. You know that. That stupid sibling rivalry they've got going on is the only reason Byungchuls an asshole about this sort of shit. But you and him have no rivalry between you, do you? So why do you think Byungchul would treat you the same way? I swear the way Byungchul acts towards you is lowkey gay anyway.” Bin joked.  
Jinwoo snorted in amusement feeling the tension seep out of his muscles. “Don't let him hear you saying that though.”   
The fact that Bin was still willing to crack jokes with him and still willing to offer him words of comfort, despite knowing what he did, finally made Jinwoo realise that he had nothing to worry about. Bin wasn't going to expose him.   
It was completely unexpected but not at all unwelcome.

Suddenly looking exhausted, Bin leaned back against the pillows of the hospital bed and closed his eyes. “You're smiling again. That's good. I meant it Jinwoo; I don't want anything from you. I'm not going to tell anyone about this either. Its your life, not mine. I might have had a problem with it if you'd fallen for an idiot, but Myungjuns a decent guy. Anyone with two good eyes can see that.”  
“...Thanks Bin.”  
“Whatever. You can leave now. I need to sleep.”  
Jinwoo grabbed his crutches and climbed to his feet. He paused on his way to the door.  
“Can I ask you one last thing?”  
Bin grunted a confirmation.  
“How did Dongmin lure you to the warehouse?”

*

The boy yelped as Jinwoo slammed him up against the dumpster behind the Camellia. The street lamp flickered ominously above them and Jinwoo could see the fear shining bright in the boys eyes.  
“Jinwoo I-”  
“Just because I'm a fucking cripple now doesn't mean I can't still ram my foot so far up your ass that you choke on it.” Jinwoo seethed. “Tell me what your relationship with Beomsu is. Why were you there at the warehouse? What have you told him about me and Myungjun? ANSWER ME!”  
Jinwoos voice echoed through the alleyway. The soft pulse of the Camellias music playing just beyond the clubs back door could be heard again when the echo died out. Jinwoos grip tightened around a slim throat.   
“Beomsu he's...he's my cousin.” Dongmin choked, hands clawing at his neck as he tried to break free. “Please Jinwoo I had no choice! Let me go so I can explain!”  
With an angry growl Jinwoo shoved him away. “Talk before I change my mind.”  
Dongmin shook as he gasped for air. It was cold out tonight.  
A dog began to bark in the distance.  
“Beomsu's my cousin. He's older than me and his dad is the boss of my dad so I have to do everything Beomsu says.”

Jinwoo scoffed at the lame excuse. “Even if that meant selling out your friends and luring out an innocent guy to get beaten up so badly he ended up in hospital? Bin did nothing to you, or to your cousin for that matter, and yet he's bedridden for the foreseeable future because of what you've done! Don't you even feel guilty about that?”  
“Of course I do!” Dongmin cried. His eyes glistened. “That's why I tried to stop them before they went too far. They were going to kill him!”  
“Oh, so I should be grateful that you saved his life? He wouldn't have been in that situation to begin with if it wasn't for you! You took advantage of his loyalty towards me, telling him you'd expose me and Myungjun if he didn't cooperate. That's sick.” Jinwoo cracked his knuckles. “How did you know that Bin knew about us in the first place? Tell me!”  
“H-He's been to the Camellia before, asking questions about you. He must have followed you. I was followed too, not by Bin, but by one of Beomsu's friends. My family aren't aware of the fact I work at the Camellia and I guess Beomsu just got too suspicious and sent someone to tail me. You visited the Camellia every night so it would have been easy for the person tailing me to spot you. That's the only reason I can think of that Beomsu started to take an interest in you.”

“And why has he taken such an interest in me anyway?”  
“I don't know.” Dongmin admitted. “But you're not the only person he's interested in. He's been targetting a lot of gangs recently, trying to break them apart. My cousin has always done things without good reason, and sometimes without any reason at all other than boredom. He has everything he could ever want and just likes to stir up trouble.”  
Rage took over Jinwoos body. “He's doing this because he's _bored_? You're telling me he nearly killed my friend out of _boredom_? Do you really expect me to believe that?”  
This guy clearly wasn't taking Jinwoo seriously enough.  
Jinwoo punched Dongmin straight in the face. He felt something crunch.  
The boy in front of him crumpled to the floor and tried to shield himself from further damage with his arms.  
“I'm telling you the truth!” Dongmins voice sounded thick and nasally. “He's never told me anything about why he's doing this! I mean nothing to him. I may as well not even be family to him. I'm beneath him so I'm basically scum in his eyes!”  
“Well that's something me and your cousin can agree on.” Jinwoo spat, booting Dongmin in the ribs.

He'd used the wrong foot. Pain bloomed in his busted ankle fast and sharp.   
Jinwoo swore aloud and slumped back against the wall behind him.  
“Your cousin seemed to know a lot about me. He even knew that I was sleeping with a guy. That's information he wouldn't have gotten from anyone else but you.”  
“I'm sorry.” Dongmin sobbed, curling up against the dumpster. He looked so pathetic Jinwoo almost felt sorry for him. “I had to give him information about you. He threatened my dads position at the company. He threatened to tell my family that I'm working at the Camellia too. You know what sort of place this is. I'll lose everything if they find out!”

A laugh of disbelief erupted from Jinwoos chest. He laughed until he was breathless.   
“You rich kids are all the same. You think your material possessions, your fancy lifestyles and your damn money come before everything else. Why do you work at the Camellia? I'll tell you why. Its not for the money that's for sure. Its because you're bored just like your asshole of a cousin. And because you don't want your precious hobby to be taken away you'd put Bins life in danger, my life in danger, _Myungjuns_ life in danger. I'll never forgive you for this. You crossed the line when you put Myungjun at risk. That broken nose is the least you deserve.”   
Jinwoo pushed away from the wall and yanked Dongmin back up to his feet by the front of his blood-red work robe.   
He brought their faces close together and lowered his voice to a threatening timbre.  
“This is my one and only warning to you. Fuck with me or my friends again and I'll kill you. Show up in front of Myungjun again and I'll kill you. If I even catch so much as a whiff of you or your cousin again I'll personally destroy your life myself. I'll leave you wishing your cousin had gotten to you first. So, if you know what's good for you, you'll find a way to keep your cousin off my back. I'm sure you can do that much at least.”

Jinwoo threw him back down against the dumpster. It was where the trash belonged after all.

*

The door opened almost as soon as Jinwoo had finished knocking.  
Myungjuns bright smile greeted him. The dancer looked cute in his pyjamas.  
Jinwoo held up the bag full of snacks he was carrying. “I made a stop along the way. Its not that I don't trust you to have good food or anything. I'm just craving all these.”  
The look Jinwoo received was one full of disapproval.  
“Jinwoo you shouldn't be carrying anything when your body still hasn't finished recovering! I would have gone to get the snacks myself had I known you wanted them.” Myungjun stepped aside to let Jinwoo in, taking the bag from him as he passed.  
“I'm fine. I've had plenty of time to recover.” Jinwoo reassured him. “I drove here didn't I? I don't even have to use those stupid crutches anymore.”  
The shiny, new TV mounted on Myungjuns wall was already displaying the title of the movie they planned to watch.   
They took their seats on the small, plush sofa and Jinwoo watched as Myungjun set up the snacks. He finally felt relaxed.  
“How did your final exam go?” Myungjun asked conversationally as he poured Jinwoo a glass of water from the iced pitcher on the coffee table.  
Jinwoo took the glass. He wanted to complain about it being water instead of beer but he knew Myungjun would only chastise him for trying to drink alcohol when he was still taking the painkillers the hospital had prescribed.  
“It was easy.” Jinwoo replied. “All of that studying I did with Grey paid off.”

When Myungjun didn't answer, Jinwoo looked over at him to see him pouting.  
Jinwoo reached out to poke his lips. They were squishy.  
“Why are you pouting?”  
“You only asked Grey to help you study. You didn't ask me.” Myungjun huffed, pushing Jinwoos hand away. “I missed out on witnessing such a rare sight. THE Park Jinwoo actually opened up a textbook? I was robbed.”  
Jinwoo put his glass down and dived on Myungjun to tickle him. A fitting punishment for his teasing.  
Myungjun shrieked and giggled, squirming underneath him as he tried to get away.  
“Stop Jinwoo! I'll strike you in the ribs!”  
Jinwoo gasped feeling genuinely shocked. “You wouldn't dare!”  
They both knew that Jinwoos ribs were still badly bruised. It would surely hurt a lot.  
“...okay I wouldn't dare but that's not the point. Get off of me. We have a movie we need to watch remember.”  
Jinwoo reluctantly moved back over to his side of the sofa.  
The movie started to play and Jinwoo was quickly absorbed.

Halfway through the movie and Myungjuns hand crept into Jinwoos.  
Smiling to himself, Jinwoo threaded their fingers together and held on tight.

An hour later and the credits started rolling.  
The movie had been the perfect pick. Enough action and gore to keep Jinwoo entertained.  
His palm was sweaty after being pressed up against Myungjuns for so long but he didn't mind.  
At some point Myungjuns head had dropped down onto Jinwoos shoulder, and it was only when Jinwoo looked now that he realised Myungjun had fallen asleep.  
 _How the hell do you fall asleep during an action movie_? Jinwoo asked himself.

Feeling mischievous, Jinwoo suddenly cried out in pain.  
Myungjun shot up with wide eyes. “Oh my god, Jinwoo are you okay? Did I press against your ribs? I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to, I think I fell asleep. Does it hurt really bad? Do you need some ice? Do you...Jinwoo why are you laughing?”  
Jinwoo had been trying to hold his amusement in but Myungjun just looked so cute being flustered and worrying over him.  
“I'm okay.”  
“...Jinwoo did you just play a trick on me?” Myungjun sounded very suspicious.  
“...maybe.”

Jinwoo yelped for real as Myungjun smacked him. He doubled over from the pain, clutching at his ribs feeling like all the air had been knocked out of his lungs.  
“You deserved that!” Myungjun shot up from the sofa. “I'm going to clean up now and wash the dishes and when I come back you better be gone.”  
Even though he still wasn't over the pain just yet, Jinwoo reached out to grab hold of the angry dancer and pulled him back down.   
But this time onto his lap instead of the sofa.  
Myungjun hadn't straddled his lap like this in a long time and the sight made Jinwoos skin tingle.  
“I'm sorry. You're right; I did deserve that for scaring you. Just please don't be angry. I don't want to leave knowing you're mad at me.”  
Myungjun huffed. His cheeks were pink.  
“I hate how easily you make me want to forgive you. It's irritating.”  
Jinwoo grinned and wrapped a hand around the back of Myungjuns neck, pulling him in until Myungjuns head was settled gently against Jinwoos chest.  
“I'm happy I'm forgiven.” Jinwoo buried his face in Myungjuns fluffy hair and run a soothing hand up and down Myungjuns spine. “I'll help you clean up but let's just stay like this for a bit first.”  
“...okay.” Myungjun relaxed against him. “But Jinwoo?”  
“Mn.”  
“I know I said you needed to leave but I didn't mean it. Can you stay instead?”  
“On one condition. No trying to seduce me. We have to get up early for the school trip tomorrow and if you get me going now I won't be able to stop and we won't be getting any sleep.”  
Myungjun squealed in embarrassment and hid his face against Jinwoos chest.  
“I wasn't planning on seducing you! Don't flatter yourself Park Jinwoo.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Binnie being the bestest friend.  
> Minnie being the worstest friend.  
> Junnie being a flustered little bub.  
> Jinnie being a tease.
> 
> That is all<3


	14. My Flower...I Love You.

The string of school coaches came to a stop at the outskirts of a vibrant green forest.   
It was the height of summer and the sun blazed brightly over the leafy canopy.  
The students filing out of the coaches couldn't help but complain about the humidity. It left shirts sticking to backs and filled the air with the sound of water bottles being opened and drained.  
Jinwoo was one of the last to step out into the heat, followed closely behind by Bin and Byungchul, the latter of which had been awfully quiet, not just for the journey here, but for the past couple of weeks too.  
At first Jinwoo had been worried about Byungchuls subdued behaviour, but no matter how many times he asked his best friend what was wrong, he never received an answer.  
 _He'll tell me when he's ready to._

Jinwoo stood up on his tiptoes to look through the crowd of students, searching for one in particular.  
He felt strangely relieved when he spotted him standing off to the side, just under the shade of the trees.  
Myungjun was alone, as he always was, but he looked relaxed as his eyes lazily scanned the crowd.  
When their eyes met, Myungjuns lips quirked up almost unnoticeably.  
Jinwoo was the first to look away. 

All he could think about was the way Myungjun had looked this morning, curled up in Jinwoos arms as he slept on, peacefully unaware of Jinwoos mesmerized gaze upon him.  
Jinwoo didn't know what he enjoyed watching more; Myungjuns dancing or Myungjun sleeping.  
He knew it was lowkey creepy watching Myungjun when he was asleep, but he hadn't been able to stop himself.  
He'd traced the pretty curves and lines of Myungjuns face with the gentle caress of his fingertips until Myungjun had stirred with a soft whine that had threatened to make Jinwoos heart explode.  
Jinwoo had quickly pretended to be asleep, not wanting to get caught.  
“Jinwoo?” Myungjun had called softly.  
When Jinwoo hadn't replied, Myungjun had leaned in and pressed a soft kiss on Jinwoos cheek before cuddling back up to Jinwoos chest and falling back into his dreams.  
A love unlike anything Jinwoo had ever felt before had overwhelmed him, pushing him to the brink of tears.  
How was it possible for one person to be this adorable?

That overwhelming feeling rose up inside of Jinwoo again now as Myungjun smiled just for him over the heads of their fellow classmates and Jinwoo had to look away. It was just too much.  
 _I need to tell Myungjun how I feel about him._  
Jinwoo was so lost in his thoughts as he planned how to confess his feelings that he didn't notice the teachers making their announcements.  
It was only when they'd finished speaking, and everyone started moving, that Jinwoo snapped out of it.  
“We need to walk a mile through this forest to get to the campsite where we'll be split into our classes.” Bin helpfully informed him.  
Jinwoo frowned. Split into classes? That meant he was going to be separated from Myungjun and even Byungchul. This weekend wasn't going to be as fun as he'd initially thought.

A heavy arm draped itself over Jinwoos shoulders.  
Byungchul grinned down at him mischievously. “Fuck what the adults say. Let's set up our tents together and get wasted tonight.”  
“Sounds like a plan. But get the hell off me, its too hot.” Jinwoo complained, elbowing Byungchul away.  
They laughed and joked around until the trees thinned out, revealing the flat expanse of the clearing where they would be setting up camp.

*

**Myungjun**

Myungjun finished tying his hair up before checking his appearance once more in the compact mirror he had packed into his bag that morning.  
The face staring back at him was Ren the transfer student, not Myungjun the nerd and Myungjun swallowed nervously as he asked himself for the third time whether he was really going to do this.  
With the security and protection of his fringe taken away he felt vulnerable.  
 _I can't hide forever. Everything will be okay. I can do this._  
Myungjun took a deep breath as he shoved his mirror and the case containing his glasses back into his bag before unzipping the tent flap and stepping outside into the sun.  
The campsite was quiet, everyone had left to go swimming in the lake almost an hour ago now and it had taken all of that time for Myungjun to psych himself up into doing this.  
He looked down at his outfit. A plain white tee and his yellow swimming trunks.  
The yellow was pretty garish but it was a colour that made him happy so he'd decided to bring these instead of his plain black ones.

Myungjun followed the distant sounds of laughter and excited screams as he picked his way carefully through the forest, making sure not to trip over any tree roots.  
The lake just beyond the treeline was beautiful. Crystalline clear it reflected the sun and shone like a million diamonds.  
Myungjun smiled as he looked around.  
He spotted Jinwoo almost immediately, looking the picture of relaxation as he reclined on a large flat rock by the waters edge.  
He was shirtless and the sight was gaining him a lot of attention.  
Trying not to stare, Myungjun looked above him where the other members of Mortem were leaping from the rocks higher up and striking ridiculous poses in the air or performing tricks before plummeting into the water below.

No-one was looking Myungjuns way so he was able to kick off his shoes and slip into the warm water unnoticed.   
He found a secluded area of the lake hidden behind a large piece of driftwood.  
It was the perfect place for him to hide and relax as he watched the sun slowly set.  
A part of him felt regretful. If only things were different he could be sitting here with Jinwoo, or even just sitting here with his friends, if he had any.  
Myungjun was suddenly missing Levi. He sighed unhappily and paddled back to shore.  
Even though his classmates were clearly having a lot of fun on this trip, Myungjun couldn't share their happiness.

Noticing that his hair-tie was coming loose, Myungjun pulled it free and made a dissatisfied noise as his wet hair fell back down into his face.  
He didn't want to get any water on his contacts so he swept his hair back before looking for his shoes.  
It was only then that he realised how quiet everything in his immediate surroundings had become.  
He looked up to see what felt like a billion eyes pointed in his direction, many of them wide with shock.  
“Ren?” One of the girls Myungjun had worked alongside in the skirt protest called out to him in disbelief.  
“Uhh...” Myungjun chewed nervously on his bottom lip before replying. “No. Ren is my cousin.”  
He mentally facepalmed at the weak lie. Why hadn't he just told the truth?  
“Well then who are you?” Someone else asked.  
“...M-Myungjun, Kim Myungjun.” he replied before stepping into his shoes and bolting towards the trees.

**Jinwoo**

Jinwoo laughed as he watched Byungchul dive from the rock above him and completely botch his landing.  
“That was like...a two out of ten.” Jinwoo called down to him when Byungchul surfaced.  
“Hey, that was at least a three!” Byungchul called back indignantly.  
Jinwoo just shook his head in amusement and looked back over his shoulder when someone tapped him.  
It was Bin and he was wordlessly pointing to something.   
When Jinwoo saw what it was, he choked on his spit. Literally.

Myungjun rose up out of the water like a damn swimsuit model, sweeping his hair back and stealing the attention of everyone in the nearby vicinity.  
He was wearing probably the ugliest swimming trunks Jinwoo had ever seen but he could forgive Myungjuns poor fashion choice at that moment as his top half definitely didn't disappoint.  
The tee was white, wet and clung to him like a second skin.  
Jinwoo could make out all of the curved muscles and smooth planes of Myungjuns well-toned dancers body and he suddenly found himself parched.  
 _Holy. Fuck._

Then suddenly Myungjun bolted, disappearing into the trees and denying Jinwoo further viewing.  
“Go.” Bin muttered beside him. “I'll tell the others you've gone to take a leak or something.”  
Jinwoo could only nod dumbly, still in a daze of sorts as he climbed clumsily to his feet and took off after the runaway.  
He and Myungjun were evenly matched in speed, as confirmed in the one cross-country race they'd competed in when Jinwoo had cruelly sabotaged Myungjuns chance of winning.  
But this time around Jinwoo was able to catch up to Myungjun almost immediately. He hadn't run very far. Jinwoo could still hear the laughter and the sound of splashing water in the distance.  
“Myungjun?” His voice sounded hoarse to his ears.

Myungjun jumped in surprise but relaxed when he saw who it was. But then his eyes drifted down to Jinwoos bare chest and Myungjun quickly looked away.  
Jinwoos ego swelled just a little.  
“What are you doing here?” Myungjun asked.  
“You ran away. I came to see if you were okay.”  
That wasn't a complete lie, but it also wasn't the complete truth.  
Jinwoo was less ashamed of staring. His eyes roamed Myungjuns wet body up and down. The need to reach out and touch Myungjun was so strong it almost pained him to keep his hands firmly by his sides.  
Jinwoo was just about to suggest that they go somewhere else, somewhere more _private_ , when he realised the look on Myungjuns face.  
He knew Myungjun well enough by now to understand his expressions, no matter how subtle.  
Right now Myungjun looked somewhat sad.  
“I'm fine.” Myungjun replied, still looking anywhere but Jinwoos exposed body. “I just wanted to go back to my tent. I'll see you at dinner.”  
It was obvious by Myungjuns tone of voice that he didn't want to be followed, so Jinwoo had to let him go feeling uneasy.

*

The wood crackled noisily as the flames took hold until the campfire in front of Jinwoo was burning brightly, throwing shadows across the faces of those who watched him in awe.  
The flames twisted and curled as they reached for the sky and Jinwoo pocketed the flint before standing back up.   
He'd volunteered to light his classes campfire knowing exactly the reactions he would receive.   
If anyone else had lit it, it wouldn't have been anything special.   
But he was Park Jinwoo and everyone liked to admire everything he did.  
The fire slowly grew in size as more of the wood laying inside the firepit was engulfed. The crackles and random sparks were soothing.  
Sweet potatoes wrapped in tinfoil were set to bake, marshmallows were roasted and contraband alcohol was passed around and hidden whenever a teacher would walk by.

Despite the calming atmosphere, Jinwoo couldn't relax.  
Myungjun had told him that he would see him at dinner, but Myungjun still hadn't come out of his tent to join his own class.  
The faint glow of Myungjuns phone could be seen through the thin material of the tent and Jinwoo wondered who he was contacting.  
He'd barely seen Myungjun at all today and that made Jinwoo unhappy.  
“You're making it obvious that something is wrong.” Bin spoke up beside him, nudging Jinwoo gently. “Here. Drink.”  
Jinwoo took the bottle offered to him and gulped the alcohol down like it was water. With his high tolerance it might as well have been.   
However, that didn't stop the alcohol burning on the way down and Jinwoos face screwed up at the sensation as he handed the bottle back.  
Bin just gave him a lopsided smile. “Now cheer up. This is our last school trip as Mortem. We should be celebrating”  
“Yeah you're right.” Jinwoo sighed and smiled back. “We probably won't get another opportunity to be together like this so we should enjoy it whilst we can. I think I'm gunna miss hanging out like this.”  
“Ew. Gay.”  
“I take it back. I won't miss you at all you asshole.”

*

Stars blanketed the sky by the time movement could be seen from Myungjuns tent.  
Jinwoo turned away from the conversation he was listening in on and watched as Myungjun walked off in the direction of the lake.  
 _He's not eating?_  
Grabbing the food he had saved, Jinwoo rushed after him not bothering to excuse himself. He knew that Bin would cover for him anyway.  
It was hard navigating the forest in the dark, and Jinwoo was sure he got lost once or twice and had to double back to make sure he was still going in the right direction, but he eventually made it to the lake and spotted a figure sitting at the end of the wooden dock.

Jinwoo approached Myungjun planning on making a big deal out of the food he saved in an attempt to make Myungjun laugh.  
But when he got close enough to do so, he suddenly couldn’t bring himself to do anything other than drop the food and rush towards him.  
Myungjun was crying.  
“Myungjun? What’s wrong?”  
“Nothing.” The dancer was quick to wipe away the evidence of his tears.  
“It’s not nothing. You’re clearly upset. Did something happen? Did someone bully you today? Is that why you stayed in your tent? They made you cry. I’ll kill them.”  
Myungjun laughed wetly. The laugh quickly turned into a sob. “I’m sorry. I just can’t stop crying. It’s not what you think though. No-ones bullied me today.”  
Jinwoo, who had been getting ready to chase and beat down the mystery bully he’d created in his head, settled back down.  
“Well why are you crying then?”

“I’m just thinking too much tonight. It’s being out here, where it’s peaceful and quiet and removed from everyone and everything. I was just reflecting on the last couple of years.” Myungjuns voice broke. “I didn’t expect that my new school life would be so hard. I moved here completely unaware that bullying and gangs even existed in reality. But they do exist and I guess I got to experience more than I was mentally able to take if I’m sitting by this lake crying like this.” Myungjun wiped at his runny nose before turning his eyes towards the sky. The sight of the moonlit tears clinging to his lashes made Jinwoos chest ache. “Sometimes I find myself thinking how my life would have turned out if I hadn’t moved here, if I’d continued my education in the small, sheltered town I grew up in. I could have attended school with Levi and the rest of my friends, learnt to dance in the little village hall, filled the wall of my bedroom even more with small-time trophies and awards that my parents urged me to get...”   
The longing was clear in Myungjuns voice.  
The life he'd missed out on would have surely been easier and more enjoyable for him.  
The main reason for his unhappiness in the life he was currently living was sitting right next to him, watching him with tears in his own eyes.

“Myungjun...” Jinwoo didn’t know what to say. No amount of apologies would be enough to express how deeply regretful Jinwoo felt for every single hurtful action he’d aimed towards the pretty dancer before him. He’d taken an innocent, bright and promising life in his hands and crushed it. He’d caused this; the Myungjun of today whose eyes spoke of nothing but pain.  
Myungjun suddenly looked away from the sky and smiled in Jinwoos direction.  
“You’re beating yourself up inside aren’t you? I can tell. But I haven’t finished talking yet.” Myungjun took a deep shuddering breath to calm himself down. “For everything I’ve lost, I’ve gained something in return. Since moving to the city I’ve been able to learn to dance under a better teacher, made more friends in Donghan and Minhyuk and Sanha, worked my first job and gained not only more experience on stage but more body confidence too. The old me would have never dreamed of dancing on stage in lingerie. I would have thought it wrong, perverse, like I was somehow selling my body...but it was never like that at all. The Camellia became my second home, the staff there my second family. I was loved and cherished and guided through my journey of self discovery until I bloomed. And I really do believe I’ve bloomed into the best version of myself.”   
Myungjuns smile was radiant and stole every ounce of Jinwoos breath.   
“The one other thing I gained from moving here, that’s changed my life for both the better and worse, is you Jinwoo. You’ve changed my entire perspective on people. Stop looking so miserable, I still haven’t finished yet...I was able to learn that people have layers, depth, more than just what’s on the surface. You’ve been a puzzle to me that I’ve slowly been solving and although I have a long way to go before I can understand who Park Jinwoo is completely, I've never once been bored or regretted my decision to learn more about you. You’ve allowed me to feel so many things, experience so many emotions, think so many different thoughts, all of which I wouldn’t have been able to experience in that small town. You’ve helped me to grow as a person Jinwoo and I just want you to know that.”

Jinwoo buried his face in his hands feeling overwhelmed. The words Myungjun spoke were making Jinwoo out to be a much better person then he actually was.   
“Myungjun I’ve done so much to hurt you. You say you’ve gained so much moving here but you’ve also been miserable for most of it. And that’s all my fault. Your school life has been hell because of me! You quit your job because of me! You even tried-“  
“Stop.” The command was quiet, almost inaudible.  
Jinwoos hands were pulled away from his face.  
“Jinwoo stop. Calm down. Deep breaths.”  
For a second Jinwoo was confused. He didn’t understand why he was being told to calm down.   
Then he realised abruptly that he was struggling for air, gasping as he tried to pull the air into his lungs. He hadn’t had a panic attack in a long time. It scared him.   
But Myungjuns warm voice and soft hands helped him to breathe. Gave him a lifeline to cling onto until the stormy waters of his mind, body and soul had calmed again.  
“Jinwoo listen to me.”  
Jinwoo couldn’t listen to anything else even if he tried.  
“Everything you’ve done to me, all the pain you've caused, physically, mentally and emotionally...I forgive you. I forgive you Jinwoo. I don’t blame you for anything. Not anymore. You’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. There’s too much guilt, too much responsibility, and nowhere and no way to offload it. You can’t control your emotions or the way you lash out. It’s not your fault okay? Nothing is your fault. I know that and your parents know that too.”

The sudden mention of his parents made Jinwoo choke up again. Memories of everything he’d ever done to them and every harsh word he’d said came rushing back.  
Myungjuns hand entwined with his tightened.  
“You’re not a bad son. You’re not a disappointment. You’re just struggling and lost and trying to do too much. Your parents know you’re not a bad son, and you know that deep down too. They love you so much and just want you to be happy again, like you used to be when you were younger. When you’d tell your mother your future children were going to be happy because they’d have two dads. When you’d creep into your parents room at night and cling to your father without letting go.”  
The memories of a childhood long forgotten filled Jinwoo with warmth.   
He suddenly wanted to see his parents.

A silence full of meaning enveloped them and Jinwoos eyes chased a dragonfly that hovered over the surface of the lake as he tried to collect himself.  
Eventually he felt ready to look at Myungjun again, only to find that Myungjun was already watching him.  
“What? Do I have something on my face?” Jinwoo teased lightly, feeling the tips of his ears burn.  
“Handsomeness.” Myungjun grinned.  
Jinwoo snorted in response. His smile fell. Not because he was suddenly sad, but because he wanted his next words to seem sincere.  
“Thank you Myungjun. For everything.”  
“If you’re truly thankful for everything I’ve said and done, then please do something for me in return.”  
“Anything.”  
“Forgive yourself. Let go of your guilt. Work on yourself until you’re happy with the results. And most importantly, put yourself first. You think it’s your responsibility to save everyone but you can’t do that if you can’t even save yourself.”  
“...that’s a lot to ask for but,” Jinwoo breathed out slowly. “I’ll try.”  
They smiled at one another, the atmosphere surrounding them lighter somehow.

How close they sat together suddenly became apparent. Jinwoo felt nervous.   
_Why the fuck am I nervous?_  
Myungjuns head tilted slightly. “Are you okay?”  
Jinwoo watched Myungjuns lips form the words.  
His pretty lips.  
Jinwoo wanted to kiss them.  
The mood seemed right so Jinwoo leaned forwards, only to find himself falling.  
When he broke through the surface of the lake a second later, after plunging into its inky black depths, he looked up at the boy swinging his legs over the edge of the pier in shock.  
“You pushed me in!”  
Myungjun looked flustered. “Because you were going to kiss me!”  
“And what’s wrong with that?!”  
“Have you forgotten where we are? Anyone could have come out to the lake and seen us!”  
Jinwoo had the perfect solution. He grabbed hold of Myungjuns slim ankles, ignoring the squeals of protest and yanked Myungjun down with him.  
They fought and splashed each other with water before chasing each other across the lake laughing hysterically the entire time.  
Jinwoo felt more free then he had in a while and he could sense that Myungjun felt the same way.

He pulled his flower into his arms under the light of the moon. The water lapped gently at their skin.  
“I’m not letting you go.” Jinwoo warned.  
“You’re just grumpy because I’m a faster swimmer than you.”  
Jinwoo poked Myungjun in the ribs for his teasing. Myungjun let out a giggle and quickly stifled it against Jinwoo shoulder before relaxing against him completely.  
“I’ve always liked the way you hold me.” Myungjun admitted quietly.  
“Is that the only thing you like? You know you never answered my question.”  
When Myungjun pulled back to look at him his expression called Jinwoo an idiot.  
“I’ve never met a person as slow as you before Jinwoo.”  
“...So my slowness is something you like? What does that even mean?”  
Myungjun stared at him for a few seconds before trying to swim away.  
But Jinwoo had meant it when he said he wasn’t letting him go.  
“Why are you trying to leave? Did I do something wrong?”  
Myungjun huffed. “Just how dense are you? You dummy. You Idiotic idiot. Do I need to spell it out for you?”  
Jinwoo blinked, watching him steadily.

Myungjun groaned in irritation and grabbed Jinwoos face in his hands. “Look at me and listen well. I can’t believe the amount of hints and clues I’ve sent your way that you’ve completely overlooked. My slow Jinwoo, I like you. I. Like. You. Do you understand now?”  
Jinwoos pulse spiked. “Just to be clear...you mean you _like_ like me right?”  
“ _Like_ like? What are you? Five years old?”  
Jinwoo pouted.  
Myungjuns eyes widened slightly as he watched Jinwoo pout before his face erupted into flames. “Of course I like like you, you idiot! I like you. I fancy you. I want to do the dance with no pants with you. I-“  
Jinwoo stopped Myungjuns flustered rambling with a kiss. Soft and sweet.  
“You should have told me sooner.”  
Myungjun smacked him.

Jinwoo rushed back to his tent that night so he could express the utter joy he felt without being seen. And it was only when he'd tired himself out that he realised he hadn't confessed back.

*

The final night at camp arrived and Jinwoo was on cloud nine.  
Myungjun liked him. Myungjun really liked him. He _like_ liked him. The type of like with romantic feelings involved.  
Jinwoo was so happy he almost couldn't concentrate on the final event of the school trip. Almost.   
The makeshift stage for the impromptu talent show the students had decided to put on had taken the better half of the day to set up and excitement hung heavy in the air as it neared completion.  
There was no way Jinwoo wouldn't be entering and he'd already decided on the talent he wanted to showcase.  
His school life was coming to an end but it also presented the opportunity for a new beginning and Jinwoo wanted to hit the ground running.  
Music was Jinwoos true passion. A passion he'd tried to ignore and pushed aside.   
But not anymore.

Even as the talent show begun Jinwoo was practising, his lips moving along with his thoughts. He practised over and over again until the words were etched into his brain and only then was he satisfied enough and able to pay attention to what was happening on the stage.  
A girl with a pretty oval face and straight black hair had just finished singing. Her voice had been nice but nothing impressive.  
Jinwoo still clapped along with the rest as she bowed looking embarrassed before she raced away.

And then Myungjun stepped onto the stage.  
Jinwoos jaw dropped. Myungjun the Camellia was back.  
His hair and make-up was styled perfectly and his outfit was one Jinwoo had been shown before.  
It was the first ever outfit Myungjun had worn on one of the Camellias stages. A sheer shirt that flowed down from his shoulders like water, the front of which was tucked into a pair of high-waisted shorts.  
A confused murmur rose up from the crowd but Myungjun ignored them and bowed politely.  
“My name is Kim Myungjun and my talent is dance.”  
Myungjun didn't say anymore. He just placed his phone down on the stage, pressed play and got into position.

The second he started to move the entire clearing fell silent.  
Jinwoos heart was pounding painfully against his ribs. He knew this dance. It was the same dance he had seen Myungjun perform on the rooftop during the sunset.  
Each note of the classical music spilling out of his phones speakers spoke to Jinwoo in a way nothing else could.  
This was the dance he had seen when he'd realised that he was in love.  
And just like that, Jinwoo fell in love all over again.  
Myungjun danced with the same peaceful expression on his face that he'd worn that day. He looked completely and utterly calm as he spun around the stage, drawing everyone in.

No-one seemed to notice when the music had ended.   
Myungjuns breaths were laboured as he executed the last move flawlessly.  
The ending pose was elegant, a true testament to the type of dancer he was.  
Myungjuns eyes met Jinwoos in the crowd. Myungjun was crying again but this time he was radiating happiness as the most beautiful smile Jinwoo had ever seen bloomed on his face.

*

“Do I even need to introduce myself?” Jinwoo smirked cockily as he soaked up his rather over-the-top applause after taking his place on the stage. “My name is Park Jinwoo and my talent is rap.”  
The surprise on everyone's face was to be expected. Jinwoo had never shown any interest in it before after all.  
But he was ready to reveal his passion now.   
Watching Myungjun dance had been all the inspiration he'd needed.

But unlike Myungjun, Jinwoo didn't have any music to back him up. He wanted to rap without it.  
It was raw and unclean but the lyrics that spilled out of his lips spoke volumes.  
Jinwoo was no longer afraid as he laid his soul out bare.  
He rapped about feeling lost but now being found. It was a rap for Myungjun, about how Myungjun had changed him.  
Some of the lyrics would have seemed like nonsense to an outsider, but Jinwoo knew Myungjun understood when their gazes locked once more.

“ _You always believed in me, and I'll always believe in you too,_  
 _But now isn't the time to be silent,_  
 _When all I want to say is My Flower...I love you._ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Myungjun: *Confesses after making it obvious for months that he likes Jinwoo*  
> Jinwoo: ‘You should have told me sooner.’   
> SVEIDNNESBB JINWOO STOP
> 
> Myungjun: I like you.  
> Jinwoo: I love you.  
> Myungjun: *shocked Pikachu meme*


	15. Fists And Flowers-The End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER WARNING:  
> Smut

**From: Chul 1:17pm**  
**Meet me at the school. We need to talk.**

Jinwoo had received Byungchuls message just as he was exiting the tattoo parlour.  
It didn’t take him long to get to the school and he stepped into mortems old hideout already feeling nostalgic despite it only being a month since school had officially ended.  
It looked exactly the same as the last time they were in here and Jinwoo spotted Byungchul sitting on the arm of the sofa fiddling with his wristwatch.  
It looked expensive, either a gift from his girlfriend or he’d stolen it, Jinwoo wasn’t sure. But he quickly brushed the unimportant thought aside and dumped his body down on the sofa, kicking his legs up and sighing happily.  
“You wanted to see me?”  
Byungchul still hadn’t looked at him yet.  
Jinwoo couldn’t figure out the expression on his face. Anger? Hesitation? Confusion? Neither of these seemed to fit.  
“Are you finally going to tell me why you’ve been acting weird lately?” Jinwoo tried again, straightening up and trying to come across more seriously this time.  
Byungchuls eyes finally flickered down to him. They maintained eye contact for no more than a second before Byungchul stood up and walked away to stare at the scenery outside of the window.  
Just before the silence dragged on for too long, Byungchul finally spoke.  
“I couldn’t leave you behind to get caught by the cops.”  
Jinwoos brow furrowed slightly. “Huh?”  
“That day at the warehouse. I couldn’t just run away and save my own ass when my best friend was already tiptoeing the line with the law now could I?”  
Byungchul suddenly turned back to look at Jinwoo. He definitely seemed angry now.  
“All I ever wanted was for you to find someone who you could be happy with. I knew you were never as happy as you made yourself out to be when you were hopping into bed with all those girls. I thought that maybe if you found someone like my Mina, then I’d get to see you looking genuinely happy again. Like how you used to look before this whole Mortem shit went down.” Byungchul growled angrily and kicked the closest chair over. “But Myungjun? Seriously? Why the fuck did it have to be him? Why the fuck did you have to show him that side of you? I saw the way you looked at him. I saw the way you smiled at him. He makes you happy. And do you know how fucking angry that makes me?!”

Jinwoo had pictured this moment countless times, replayed this exact scenario in his head time and time again. It often made him lose sleep imagining the look of anger and disgust Byungchul would aim towards him after finding out his best friend had fallen in love with another guy.  
But strangely enough, now that the time had arrived, Jinwoo didn’t feel scared at all.  
Maybe it was because his mind was already set, his heart already taken. Or maybe it was because he’d never have to step foot in this school of pressure ever again.  
A soft sigh escaped Jinwoos lips. “I love him Chul. I’ve loved him for a long time. You said you wanted to see me happy...well here I am feeling happier then I have in years. I’ve found my Mina in Myungjun and I know I’ll never have to pretend to be happy again as long as I have him.”  
Jinwoos phone vibrated in his hands and he looked down to see his flowers caller ID lighting up the screen.  
He smiled but declined the call and stood back up.  
“I can guess why you called me here. You’re angry at me for being gay or bisexual or whatever the hell I am at this point, and you probably want to call our friendship quits and maybe even smack me around a little. I deserve it all I guess. But no matter what you do to me, I’ll always think of you as my best friend. My brother. Even if that thought makes you feel sick now. I’m sorry Chul I-”  
Pain blossomed on Jinwoos face and all he could do was rock back on his heels feeling only mildly surprised as the taste of blood trickled into his mouth.  
Byungchul grabbed Jinwoo by the collar of his jacket and pulled a fist back, getting ready to punch him again.

The blow never came.  
“Guess again fucker.” Byungchul seethed. “I’m not angry at you for that shit. I’m angry because you kept this a secret from me for months! Best friends? Brothers? Don’t make me laugh. If we were really that close you wouldn’t have let me back you into a corner like this. You wouldn’t have been so fucking scared to tell me the truth!” Byungchuls raised fist fell back down to his side. “But what I’m most angry about is that you let me do all that shit to him. How many fucking times did I beat that guy to a pulp? Sabotage his fucking work? Disrespect him openly for everyone to see? I did it because I thought that that was what you wanted! You fucking hated him in the beginning and whoever you hated, I hated too! So how the hell am I supposed to feel now knowing that you love the guy? I’ll tell you how I feel! I feel like fucking shit man. Try and put yourself in my shoes. Imagine how you’d feel if you’d made Mina’s life a living hell, only to find out that your best friend was in love with her? Could you even look me in the eyes after that?!”  
A strangled noise was ripped out of Byungchuls throat and he pushed Jinwoo away and turned around to hide the wetness of his eyes.  
But it was too late; Jinwoo had already seen and his heart twisted painfully in his chest.  
The fear of his sexuality had hurt yet another person he cared about.  
Byungchul was hurting because he’d hurt the person Jinwoo loved and inadvertently hurt Jinwoo too.  
The feeling welling up inside of Jinwoo was indescribable. How many more times was he going to realise he didn’t deserve the people around him?  
“Chul...”  
“Shut your mouth! I don’t want to hear your stupid voice right now.”  
Ignoring the hostility radiating from him, Jinwoo walked around him to face Byungchul properly again.  
And before Byungchul could protest, Jinwoo hugged him.  
A distant memory surfaced in Jinwoos mind, of a younger Byungchul who’d cried hysterically after falling off of his skateboard. Jinwoo had hugged him back then too and told him that even though he’d hurt himself, he'd still looked cool. Jinwoo had then carried home the taller boy on his back.  
That was the last time he’d been able to embrace Byungchul properly before Byungchuls brother had come out in front of their family.  
After that, Byungchul had rejected all degrees of skinship and eventually Jinwoo had learnt not to touch him.

Jinwoo didn’t know what had driven him to hug Byungchul now but he did it anyway.  
“I’m sorry Hyung.” Jinwoo whispered.  
When was the last time he’d called Chul so affectionately? Too long ago.  
It was quiet for a second, probably from the shock, but then Jinwoo was shoved back a step.  
“You fucking brat don’t start hugging me and calling me Hyung out of nowhere like that!” Byungchuls cheeks were lightly flushed and he scrubbed at his eyes to cover it up. “I’m still angry at you!”  
Jinwoo tried not to smile. He really did.  
“Come with me. I know how to fix this.”

*

**Myungjun**

At first Myungjun had been pouty when Jinwoo declined his calls and ignored his messages.  
Then he’d been worried. Had Jinwoo forgotten the plans they’d made for today? They were important after all.  
When he’d received Jinwoos text to meet up in the coffee shop near the school not long after, his mood switched without warning again and he’d rushed there feeling relieved.

However he wasn’t prepared for the sight he was met with.  
Jinwoo wasn’t alone.  
Byungchul sat across from Jinwoo with a steaming cup of coffee settled in front of him. He wasn’t drinking it.  
Instead, Byungchul was glaring down into its depths like it had mortally offended his ancestors.  
A shiver ran up Myungjuns spine. He’d been on the receiving end of that glare one too many times and he wouldn’t have been surprised if the coffee had jumped straight out of the cup and ran away.  
That was all Myungjun had ever wanted to do.  
And it was what he wanted to do now too.

But unfortunately, before he could bolt right back out of the door, Jinwoo spotted him and his handsome face broke out into a smile as he beckoned Myungjun over.  
It helped to ease the fear in Myungjuns heart a little and he reluctantly pushed his feet forward and settled down in the chair beside Jinwoos feeling terribly confused.  
Why was Jinwoo suddenly calling this meeting?  
The brief possibility of Byungchul knowing about them flitted through Myungjuns mind but he quickly pushed that thought away.  
Jinwoo would never willingly out himself to Byungchul. So there must have been another reason.  
Myungjun picked nervously at his nails under the table as he waited.  
“Do you want something to drink?” Jinwoo asked.  
Myungjun quickly shook his head, keeping his gaze lowered to the table top.  
“Order something.” The command that came from across the table was sharp. “I’ll pay.” Byungchul added gruffly.  
A menu was thrust under Myungjuns nose and he took it with shaking hands.  
Being around Byungchul had always terrified him and it was no different today.  
Even now, Myungjun was waiting to be hit, insulted or mocked.  
The terror rising up inside of him blurred the words on the menu he was holding.

And then a warm, steady hand settled itself on Myungjuns thigh and he looked down to see Jinwoos fingers caressing him gently.  
“Pick something.” Jinwoo urged softly. “Or do you want me to just order your usual?”  
Myungjun swallowed nervously as he chanced looking up at the young man across from them.  
Byungchuls chin was resting on the palm of his hand as he stared pointedly out of the window to the side.  
“M-My usual.” Myungjun whispered back.

Only when Myungjuns cup of black coffee was placed in front of him did Jinwoo start to explain what was happening.  
“Chul knows we’re together.”  
The grip Myungjun had on his cup tightened.  
That explained the new cut on Jinwoos lip. They’d obviously had a fight. And as expected, Byungchul didn’t look injured at all.  
Of course Jinwoo wouldn’t strike back.  
“We talked and...Chul has something he wants to say to you.” Jinwoo continued.  
Myungjun hastily took a sip of his coffee, trying to combat how dry his mouth had become. It didn’t help at all and the liquid was hard to swallow.  
“I’m sorry.”  
The apology was almost inaudible but it had the exact same effect it would have had if Byungchul had screamed it in his face.  
Myungjun jolted back in his seat from the shock of it and Jinwoo swiftly took the cup from Myungjuns hands before he could drop it.  
Byungchul was still staring out of the window as if he hadn’t said anything at all but Myungjun was certain the apology had come out of his mouth.

When Byungchuls eyes suddenly shifted in Myungjuns direction, Myungjun quickly looked away again.  
An angry huff met his ears. “For fucks sake I apologised didn’t I? Why are you still acting so scared?”  
“I...I...” the words wouldn’t come out of Myungjuns mouth.  
“All I came here to say was that I was sorry. You don’t have to say anything back. I’m only doing this to make myself feel better anyway.” Byungchuls chair scraped back noisily as he stood up. “I’ll pay the bill before I leave.”  
“Wait.” Myungjun called out weakly to his retreating back.  
Byungchul paused.  
“Are you and Jinwoo still friends?” Myungjun asked.  
When Byungchul didn’t answer, Myungjun tried again.  
“I-I hope that you’ll still be his friend and not let the fact he likes me get in the way of that. I don’t want Jinwoo to lose his best friend because of me.”  
“...If Jinwoo lost his best friend it wouldn’t be because of you.” Byungchul looked back over his shoulder and for once, Myungjun felt brave enough to look him in the eyes. “This isn’t something I can easily accept but...”  
With a shake of his head Byungchul decided to leave it at that and left after paying the bill as promised.

It was only when the door closed behind Byungchul that Myungjun was able to slump back in his seat with a breath of relief.  
“Did that really just happen? Did he really just apologise to me?”  
“Yep. He really meant it too.”  
_This is crazy._  
“Even though he apologised I can’t forget everything he did to me.”  
“He doesn’t expect you too. He’d already said as much to me before you got here. I don't expect you to either.” Jinwoo suddenly smiled softly as he reached out to take one of Myungjuns hands. “You were scared right? I’m sorry. I didn’t want to tell you that you were meeting up with him because I knew you wouldn’t have come. Also the fact that he knows about us didn’t seem like something I should just text you out of the blue or you would have gotten worried about me right?”  
Myungjun nodded and frowned as he looked at the dried blood on Jinwoos lip.  
“You didn’t hit him back.”  
“Of course I didn’t. He already feels bad enough.”  
Jinwoo looked down at his phone before sighing, his eyes suddenly filling with worry.  
“I suppose it’s time we slayed the second monster of the day.”  
Myungjun grinned and followed after him as they exited the coffee shop and stepped out onto the bustling street.  
“I don’t think this counts as slaying monsters.”  
“Oh yeah? What are you, an experienced monster slayer or something?”  
Myungjun giggled and linked arms with him. “Maybe in another life. I bet I’ve killed hundreds of monsters.”  
With a roll of his eyes Jinwoo snorted. “The last thing I could ever imagine you doing in another life is facing dangerous monsters and making it out alive.”  
“And what the hell is that supposed to mean?!”  
“It means exactly what you think it means.” Jinwoo suddenly picked Myungjun up and Myungjuns whole world turned upside down as he was chucked over Jinwoos shoulder.  
Ignoring Myungjuns shrieks of protest, Jinwoo carried him across the street to his car before opening the passenger door and dropping Myungjun into the seat.  
Jinwoo put Myungjuns belt on for him before pecking him lightly on the nose.  
“I’m strong see? Which means _I’d_ be the monster slayer in another world. Not you.”  
Before Myungjun could get angry, Jinwoo shut the car door in his face.

*

Myungjun reached out to take hold of Jinwoos trembling hand as they faced Jinwoos parents who were watching them with cautious hope in their eyes.  
That hope only increased as they looked down at their sons hand, intimately entwined with Myungjuns fingers.  
Myungjun beamed at them.  
“We have something to-“  
“I love Myungjun. Do you have any problems with that?” Jinwoo cut off Myungjuns sentence. His tone was rather rude but his parents didn’t seem to mind.  
Jinwoos mother was clearly trying to hold in her emotions as she asked with a wavering voice; “Is Myungjun your boyfriend?”  
The two boys looked at each other not knowing how to answer. They knew how they felt about one another but they hadn’t discussed where their relationship stood now.  
Myungjun took the initiative as Jinwoo seemed to be struggling for words.  
“Yes. I suppose I am.” Myungjun grinned at his new boyfriend and received a twitch of the lips in return.

Suddenly remembering the envelope in his other hand, Jinwoo tossed it down onto the kitchen table where his parents sat.  
“I printed off my exam results. You can look at them I guess.” Jinwoo mumbled.  
He tried to drag Myungjun out of the room but Myungjun held him back knowing that this was an important moment.  
Jinwoo had always believed that he was a failure in his parents eyes, a bad son and a disappointment. Jinwoo needed to see how proud his parents really were.  
The paper rustled as it was taken out of the envelope and Jinwoos parents couldn’t hold in their gasps as their eyes scanned the sheet, heads bent close together so they could read it at the same time.  
Tears immediately filled their eyes.  
“Son...”  
“Jinwoo honey...”  
Jinwoos face was red. Myungjun giggled and shoved Jinwoo forwards when his parents approached.  
Jinwoo groaned and complained the entire time his parents embraced him until Myungjun joined the fray.  
“Group hug with my new parents!” Myungjun exclaimed happily, trying to hug them all tight.  
“You’ve done so well son. We knew you could do it. You’ve really made me and your mother proud.”

As soon as an opportunity presented itself, Jinwoo pulled away and dragged Myungjun up to his room.  
Myungjun just sat beside him quietly on the bed as Jinwoo recollected himself.  
It took a while but when Jinwoo looked up from his hands he was smiling.  
“So I think meeting the parents, _officially_ this time, went pretty well, right?”  
“Better than well. I’m glad we did this Jinwoo.”  
“Yeah me too...oh. Wait here. I'll go and get your bag out of the car. You still want to stay over tonight don't you?”  
Myungjun nodded eagerly. “But don't look in my bag!”

Planning to surprise Jinwoo, Myungjun had packed the first ever lingerie he wore at the Camellia, the outfit he was wearing when Jinwoo first saw him on stage.  
He missed dancing at the club under the rouge lighting in his pretty clothes knowing that somewhere in the audience Jinwoo would be watching.  
Even though the thought of wearing such things in front of Jinwoo again made him strangely nervous, he wanted to do this. More than anything.

Jinwoo returned with Myungjuns bag a few minutes later and swore on his life that he hadn't looked inside when Myungjun asked to make sure.  
Feeling satisfied that Jinwoo was telling the truth, Myungjun stuffed the bag under Jinwoos bed.  
“You didn't answer my calls all morning, I was worried. Were you with Byungchul that entire time?” Myungjun asked conversationally.  
With the expression of someone remembering something important, Jinwoo suddenly started to pull at his shirt.  
Myungjuns entire body seemed to freeze before thawing and going into overdrive.  
Why the hell was Jinwoo getting undressed whilst his parents were in the house?  
When Jinwoos top hit the floor Myungjun gasped softly before reaching out for his chest.  
“Jinwoo what...”

**Jinwoo**

Jinwoos heart was pounding erratically against his ribcage as he tried to understand the expression on Myungjuns face.  
Then Jinwoos eyes closed briefly as Myungjuns feather-like touch ghosted over the wrap on his chest.  
“Jinwoo what...”  
Jinwoo opened his eyes to look down at him.  
“Do you like it?”  
“You got a tattoo?” Myungjun asked instead of answering.  
“Mn. I wanted to get something simple.”  
“A flower.”  
“A Camellia.”  
They shared a meaningful look before Myungjuns bottom lip began to tremble.  
Jinwoo panicked and tried to comfort him.  
“Myungjun? Why are you crying? You don’t like it? I’m sorry. I just wanted to get something that meant a lot to us and I thought this was best. I'm sorry, I should have asked first right? I didn't-”  
Soft lips crashed into Jinwoos own, smothering the words he wanted to say as Myungjun flung himself into Jinwoos arms.  
Jinwoo kissed him back and realised yet again how perfectly the dancer fit into his arms.  
The kiss tasted salty from Myungjuns tears but Jinwoo didn’t mind.

Before Jinwoo knew what was happening he was falling, his back hit the mattress and Myungjuns weight landed on top of him.  
“I don’t care if your parents are home anymore. I can't wait until later.” Myungjun started to undress. “I need you Jinwoo. Right now. Don’t make me wait.”  
When was the last time they’d done this? Jinwoo couldn’t remember. It had been too long.  
But just like back then, his body responded immediately now, and in no time at all their clothes were discarded.  
Jinwoo pulled Myungjun back down to kiss him again, savouring the feel of their naked bodies pressed together.  
He inhaled the intoxicating scent of Myungjuns skin as his kisses travelled down Myungjuns neck.  
The gasp Jinwoo received as he sucked harshly at the skin there was enough to make the already unbearable ache in between his legs throb.  
They’d only just started and yet Jinwoo didn’t think he could drag this out any longer.  
But it seemed Myungjun also shared the same mindset.  
“Where’s your lube?”  
Jinwoos hand reached blindly for the drawer in his bedside cabinet.  
He continued to attack Myungjuns neck with his teeth and tongue as he located the lube and condoms inside, pulling a handful out.  
“We don’t need these.” Myungjun dismissed the condoms immediately.  
Jinwoo raised an eyebrow at him. They’d only had sex without a condom once or twice. Every other time they’d made sure to use one.  
“Are you sure?”  
“Yes. I only want to feel you. Nothing else.”  
_He’s driving me insane._  
It took all of Jinwoos willpower and more to control himself and prep Myungjun properly.

They switched positions with Myungjun now laying against the pillows of Jinwoos bed with his knees brought up close to his chest.  
The pretty flush of his cheeks as Jinwoo worked him open with his fingers and his tongue was a ridiculously adorable sight.  
_He shouldn’t be looking so cute right now._  
Jinwoo eventually came up for air and grinned as Myungjuns blush hit its peak.  
“Why did you have to use your tongue? That was so embarrassing!”  
“I’ve always wanted to eat you out.”  
Myungjun squealed indignantly at Jinwoos vulgar choice of words and only squealed louder when Jinwoo licked his lips claiming that Myungjun was the tastiest meal he’d ever had.  
“You’re revolting Park Jinwoo! You’re not allowed to kiss me now!”  
Jinwoo grabbed hold of Myungjuns face and kissed him hard on the lips.  
His boyfriend only struggled weakly for a few seconds before giving in and kissing him back.  
Jinwoo hummed happily as he settled down on Myungjuns body, holding his weight up on his elbows so that he wouldn’t crush the delicate dancer beneath him.

After lining their hips up and making sure Myungjun was ready, Jinwoo pushed inside of him.  
Even though it had been so long, Myungjuns body welcomed him into its depths almost immediately.  
When he was buried deep inside of him, unable to go any further, Jinwoo stilled his hips and allowed Myungjun to adjust.  
“I want to hear you say it again.” Myungjun demanded breathlessly.  
“What, that you’re the tastiest meal-”  
“Oh for gods sake...NO Jinwoo. Not that. I want you to tell me that you love me again.”  
“Oh! Myungjun I love you.” It was said too innocently.  
Myungjun sighed. “Why are you saying it like that?”  
“Like what?”  
“Like it’s the ultimate truth. Like it’s always been the truth.”  
“Because it has. I love you Kim Myungjun. I love you so much that I can barely breathe when I look at you. My beautiful flower.”  
“...If I’d known you were going to be this cheesy I wouldn’t have asked. Just shut up and kiss me.”

This time, instead of allowing his primal hunger to take over, Jinwoo rocked into Myungjun slow and sweet, wanting to take his time.  
He didn't want to just fuck Myungjun anymore. He wanted to make love to him, to convey his feelings in their entirety.  
They were so close like this. Jinwoo could see everything happening on Myungjuns face below him and he couldn't stop staring.  
Myungjun was so beautiful. More beautiful then he would ever know and Jinwoo couldn't be more happier that Myungjun was finally his.

When Myungjun came, his face etched with pleasure, Jinwoos heart swelled and he hugged him close.  
He could feel Myungjuns heart beating fast under his skin and Jinwoo knew that his own was beating in sync.  
Jinwoo kissed every inch of Myungjun he could reach before rolling off of him and pulling Myungjun back in for a more comfortable cuddle.

They were quiet for a time. No words were needed.  
Jinwoo just pressed soft kisses on Myungjuns forehead, the corners of his eyebrows, his nose, his soft cheeks and finally his pretty lips.  
“I love you.” Jinwoo whispered between every kiss. He knew he was saying it too much but it still didn't feel like enough.  
“Jinwoo?”  
“Mn.”  
“You're the only person I've ever slept with.”  
The confession came out of the blue and was completely unexpected.  
Jinwoo was stunned. “Wait..that means...I was the first person you’d slept with?”  
Myungjun blushed lightly and nodded.  
“Oh god then that means...the first time, the Camellia, the _sofa_. Oh my god I took your virginity on the sofa in a sex club.”  
Myungjun buried his face in Jinwoos chest, clearly embarrassed.  
“Shit Myungjun, I’m sorry. If I’d known I would have-”  
“Brought me back to your place so we could have done it in an actual bed?”  
They both knew that never would have happened.  
Before Jinwoo could start feeling too bad, Myungjun laughed and told him it was okay.  
“I'm glad I gave myself to you Jinwoo. No matter where it had to happen. Because...because I love you. I know I haven't said that yet but I do. A whole bunch.”  
“...but I love you more.”  
“Shut up. We're not doing this. Its too cheesy.”  
“But I saw it in a movie once. Indulge me?”  
Myungjun groaned. “I swear you're not gang leader material at all...FINE. I love you more.”  
“No I love you more.”  
“But I love you the most.”  
“But I love you to infinity.”  
Myungjun pretended to gag.

*

Down at breakfast the next morning, Jinwoos parents doted over Myungjun like he was a long lost son and Jinwoo couldn't find it within himself to hold back his smile.  
Myungjun ate everything he was given despite claiming to be watching his figure.  
When Jinwoo grabbed a handful of Myungjuns squishy thigh under the table and whispered something flirty in his ear, Myungjun smacked him.  
A soft sniffle made Jinwoo look back across the table to see his mother watching him with tearful eyes. She'd been crying too much recently.  
“Can I hug you again honey?”  
Myungjun urged Jinwoo quietly to let her so Jinwoo replied with a stiff nod.  
His mother felt small and frail in his arms, a lot different to how he remembered her being, and it made him feel horribly guilty to think that he’d done this to her.  
He took a close look at his father too and saw the signs he hadn't seen before.  
The dark circles and streaks of white through his hair.  
The amount of stress he must have put his parents through...  
_I need to do better. I need to be a better son so that they don't have to worry about me anymore._

*

Jinwoo couldn't sleep.  
Myungjun had only been able to stay for a couple of nights and now Jinwoo found his bed empty. It was lonely.  
After tossing and turning for an hour, his head a swirling mess of thoughts, Jinwoo made up his mind and got up.  
He pulled out a box from under his bed full of childhood memories.  
In there he found a bear named after an actor he had thought was handsome when he was younger.  
It seemed so ridiculous and childish now.  
“Hey you. This is only for one night so don't get too excited. You'll be going straight back in the box tomorrow, got it?”

Jinwoo crept down the hallway towards his parents room and listened outside of their door for any noise.  
He heard the murmur of voices and knocked gently against the wood.  
The door opened soon after to reveal his mothers surprised face. She was already dressed for bed.  
Seeing her like this made Jinwoo realise how weird this was. He was a grown man for fucks sake. He shouldn't be here.  
But before he could bolt, a warm hand wrapped around his wrist.  
“Come in. Please come in. Don't run away. It would make me and your dad happy.”  
Jinwoo had already vowed to do everything he could to make his parents happy from now on so he let her lead him inside.  
His father was in bed reading a book under the light of his lamp, his reading glasses slipping down his nose.  
He put the book aside and settled the glasses on top when he noticed Jinwoo was there.  
The man's smile was soft when he looked down at the bear Jinwoo was clutching tightly. “Ah it's Max.” Without another word he lifted up the blanket.  
Jinwoos feet were moving against his will and soon enough he found himself sandwiched between his parents under the warm covers.  
The feeling was so familiar yet unfamiliar at the same time.  
Emotions overwhelmed him and suddenly he couldn't hold it all in.  
Jinwoo started to cry noisily. Loud, pained sobs that shook the bed.

His parents shared a look over the top of Jinwoos head. The happiest smile they'd been able to exchange in a long time.  
Their baby boy was back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who the fuck is cutting onions in here?!
> 
> FaF has officially come to an end...  
> I started this fic after needing something different to write from my usual fantasy. I wanted to write something set in the real world and although I know its lacking in many ways, I still feel satisfied overall with how this turned out.  
> As my first completed fic I have bittersweet feelings.  
> However, this has been amazing practice for me, and I'm glad I pushed myself out of my comfort zone to write something so risqué.  
> (The self praise >.>)  
> I hope this was worth the read and I just want to say thank you to everyone who left me such sweet encouraging comments that helped motivate me to write, even when I was feeling sad.  
> And thankyou to my friends who drew me the cutest fanarts of my Camellia Junnie in all his lingerie clad glory<333
> 
> You can find me on:  
> Twitter @Faeradam  
> Insta @faeradam99  
> 💜💜💜


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